What I gathered from the video about black women
- A section of bw are having a hard time dealing with the truth
- A good portion of black women in academia are painfully out of touch with the reality of black women on the ground, many are still touting the idea that a black male partner allows a black woman to be free and be herself and a black man is supportive of what a black woman goes through in society. Ha! It is very sad that RR Banks is having to clue black women about the real deal that they have missed-being stuck in their ivory towers and all-including the fact that black men are more likely to enforce oppressive codes of blackness (around hair and skin tone) on black women than white men.
- Some black women would rather suggest that black women contort themselves in demeaning ways and take on all sorts of unwholesome ideologies like polygamy just so they can continue with the dating within the race paradigm
- Black females in academia (espcially the variety that are in womens studies), are more interested in upholding the sacred analysis and readings of the situation (imposed by white feminsist theorists no doubt). They cling to their endorsed frameworks rather than look at devising new frameworks that serve the needs of black women. In addition a good many are just all about showing how sophisticated and clever they are when desperate issues are on the table
- The idea that black women are simply a support system for black men/the race is so strong within the imagination of black people that many cannot break out of this 'framing' to imagine black women as people in their own right not race props, but people with their own needs and desires that they need to take care off. Many in fact get so outraged at any suggestion that black women not 'perform' their 'support' role for BC and black men. It appears that to refuse to be a race prop amounts to bw denying others their righful access and entitlement to black women's time money indeed their very self! Whoever said slavery has ended might need to recheck that fact, at least in the case of bw. This is what I meant when I said that black women exist as 'creatures of the black community' forced to trace their very existence within its confines, that they become 'invalids' if they try to detach from this role. It is very sad that even a book as liberatory as 'Is marriage for white people', we still end up talking about how black women serve their race by their actions or non actions (and none of the 'academic' people even raised the issue of how problematic this general tendency to always talk about bw's options in terms of how this adds or takes away from her race!).
Today I was reminded again of how minority men moaning about 'le white men', are quick to exclude 'their' women as soon as a little space is granted them. Often they drag their women folk in and use them as battering rams or shields against white men, and as soon as they have used these women's bodies and stories to get a foot in the door, they toss these women away and become all 'diverse' and all liberated in their romantic choices! If minority women are too silly to see this 'game' being played again and again to let these men fight their own battles, then more fool them..................
Come together over racism
Many black women however want to connect with black men over the issue of racism, over 'what white men have and are doing.' I think the reason is because black women have seen that it appears to be the only thing that gets a response/interest from black men i.e. talking about how white men are holding them down etc etc. This situtation right here means black women will continue to want to ruminate about racism and race and get upset and mobilised over and carrying on about race because it represents the only way they can elicit some reaction (bond) with black men. This is one reason why black women will find it hard to put away their festering resentment against white men in particular, I think on some level they know it is probably the only thing that they can connect with black men over.
Speaking of black men and racism, I caught a glimpse of a young black man loudly talking about, 'The man' and 'They dont want us to progress etc etc', to another black man stall owner at a fruit market the other day. I dont know what made me smile more; the big, bold talk about whites and their racism or the white woman by his side with their mixed race baby in the buggy!
The ability of men to combine almost extreme nationalistic politics and yet a love of women or a woman not of their 'nation', is a hypocritical attribute that most women dont seem to have, indeed nothing says it is a man's world more than the fact that men dont feel a need to explain or defend themselves when their politics is diametrically opposed to their romantic attractions. I watch my African male get all tribal and almost forment trouble with another tribe, all the while with a woman from this very same tribe at their side. I asked a freind the other day how his wife feels when he goes on about breaking away and forming their own 'nation' when his wife is from the tribe he wants to 'depart' from. His response was, 'She has come to see it my way!' Arrogant to boot.
Women will give up a good man because he doesnt 'rhymn' with what their politics says. I suggest that black women seriously prospect this curious attribute that men have. Dont say 'he wont date black women' because he is conservative/rightwing etc. Apart from the fact that labels no longer describe accurately how people stand on a variety of issues and their values (the left for instance has taken to labelling people who challenge the model of 'big government' and endless government programs as rightwing even neocons when they could simply be challeneging a canard of the left which has failed to deliver in many areas), right and left leaning couples can have a blast of a relationship, the trick is to be convinced of your position and why you hold it (a strong conviction), and not take your partner differing on an issue, personally and as a slight against you!
Anyway a vacation calls, my next entry will be in December ciao!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an e-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: firstname.lastname@example.org