tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post1948894666060551791..comments2023-06-26T11:23:50.414+01:00Comments on Black, Woman and Winning!: Should we have an ‘Afro pride’ day?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-42298431510238501462010-06-28T05:26:08.451+01:002010-06-28T05:26:08.451+01:00I would have to say going natural was one of the b...I would have to say going natural was one of the best things that I have ever done. It actually matured me in a lot of ways because I had to learn to not care about what other people thought and to do what makes me happy even if some of the sideways comments came from "well meaning" family members. I actually gained more respect from the black women in my family because I was able to do something that they didn't and still don't have the confidence to do. <br /><br />Now one thing natural, especially 4a/b hair does it weed out dbm black men. It is definitely a dbm repeller. Non-black men are a bit more courageous with asking me out which surprised me at first, but I quickly got used to it. LOL<br /><br />I agree with a poster who said that thick fluffy hair balances out our stronger features. That is so true. I mean we have the smooth, brown skin, the thick sensual lips, the sexy, cat eyes and the cheekbones that could cut through glass. Why do we need long straight hair/weave/wig? We already have everything else including the curvy bodies. I am not bragging on our gender but just trying to make a point and get black women to see the beauty in us that's already there and in my humble opinion,long hair, hides that.Shannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-59219003032090983632007-11-05T14:49:00.000+00:002007-11-05T14:49:00.000+00:00Noone in my family or my black friends use that wo...Noone in my family or my black friends use that word. DO NOT believe the hype. People are so anxious to lump black people into one group.<BR/><BR/>I have a story that relates to words. I was at work and this white co-worker jokes about Halloween costumes. She says that she told her sister to dress up in a white platic trash bag and call it "white trash". Now she can joke about "white trash" but on the other hand if the joke came from me it would be insensitive, especially at work.<BR/><BR/>I really don't get why people are obsessed with disrespecting people. When I talk to people I call them by their NAME!!! not "white trash" or the N-word.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-71766866555152092502007-11-05T13:16:00.000+00:002007-11-05T13:16:00.000+00:00None of the black folks I know use the word, and I...None of the black folks I know use the word, and I don't hang out with black folks who use the word. I don't want to hear it, and I find it offensive, NO MATTER WHO SAYS IT. <BR/><BR/>I'm sure plenty of folks say all manner of crazy isht, does that mean the general population should too?roslynholcombhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14214462303849964910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-38038724797703648282007-11-04T19:57:00.000+00:002007-11-04T19:57:00.000+00:00..BF call each other the N word, so its no big dea...<I>..BF call each other the N word, so its no big deal...</I><BR/><BR/>Miriam, FWIW, if it were me, I'd say, <B>"It's a bad word and no one should say it".</B> Maybe you'd word it differently, but I'm figuring that's what you believe, so just say it, without apology. <BR/><BR/>Whatever else they say, whatever argument they dredge up, just look them in the eye and repeat,<B> "It's a bad word and no one should say it".</B><BR/><BR/>Also FWIW. it's what <I>I</I> believe. I don't think it's harmless even when black folk use it to each other.arthurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169247585979590675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-9325037117271106772007-11-04T07:42:00.000+00:002007-11-04T07:42:00.000+00:00*off topic question* I have been taking tentative ...*off topic question* I have been taking tentative steps at "being an activist" for BW. One thing I'm met with constantly is the same argument:<BR/><BR/>BF call each other the N word, so its no big deal. <BR/><BR/>Any thoughts on that?<BR/><BR/>sorry. Thanks.Miriamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06067406973014144499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-69585098942854630092007-11-02T23:10:00.000+00:002007-11-02T23:10:00.000+00:00This is a very important issue. I think the reason...This is a very important issue. I think the reason it is not discussed is because so many black women are convinced of the inferiority of their hair and are scared to exhibit their natural hair.<BR/><BR/>I stopped relaxing my hair about 15 months ago and I just cut off the last of the straight ends last week. I am so glad I decided to go natural, but in some ways I feel like I am still fighting my natural texture. I wonder if people find me less attractive now. I feel like I I have make my hair look as curly as possible; I don't feel comfortable wearing it in afro. So even though my hair is now natural, my mentality still isn't. <BR/><BR/>Luckily, it seems like wearing natural hair is becoming more popular. Hopefully with more and more women going natural, the perception of black hair will be more positive in the future.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-71345434843512033322007-11-02T21:50:00.000+00:002007-11-02T21:50:00.000+00:00I'm a white man who is attracted to black women, a...I'm a white man who is attracted to black women, and I definitely prefer natural hair. The lady pictured in this article is gorgeous and her hair is inviting to touch. Straight hair is boring and flat, but an afro has substance and texture. I honestly would prefer that black women didn't straighten their hair. It's not that it doesn't look good, it just bothers me that they feel pressured to conform to white standards of beauty. Black *is* beautiful!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-90513047013927438752007-11-01T21:00:00.000+00:002007-11-01T21:00:00.000+00:00This is off topic but related to blog's theme. Th...This is off topic but related to blog's theme. This is the latest news on reality show star and bounty hunter Duane Dog Chapman.<BR/><BR/>http://www.tmz.com/2007/10/31/dog-chapmans-hate-filled-tirade/<BR/><BR/><I>The National Enquirer has obtained an explosive and shocking racist rant spewed by Duane Dog Chapman.<BR/><BR/>The Enquirer says they have two tapes of the Dog hurling insults at his son, Tucker, during an undated telephone conversation. It appears as if the Dog is concerned that Tucker's girlfriend, Monique Shinnery, who is black, will set him up because of the language the Dog uses. <BR/><BR/>In the nearly eight minute long tape posted on the Enquirer's website, Dog says the N word numerous times and demands that Tucker break up with Monique or he'll be fired from the family bail bond business.</I>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-52847979497660363542007-11-01T13:59:00.000+00:002007-11-01T13:59:00.000+00:00I think that what happens is when something is don...I think that what happens is when something is done so routinely, it becomes the norm and anything else become odd. In the West, black women so routinely perm their hair that this is what is expected. It is just like the other numerous ways in which humans alter their natural states.<BR/><BR/>In America and other places, women commonly shave their arm pits and when a woman fails to do this, she is viewed as untidy whereas in many European countries, a woman having hair under her arms is not given any thought.<BR/><BR/>Another example is male circumcision. In America, most males are circumcised and most American women view a man's natural/un-mutilated state as something to deplore whereas in Europe, a man’s natural state is viewed as quite the norm.<BR/><BR/>So I see permed hair in a similar fashion. It is viewed as the norm and it would take people being raised viewing most black women in the natural state for it to become more accepted.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-20013100980879874362007-10-31T15:41:00.000+00:002007-10-31T15:41:00.000+00:00" I can't bring much solutions to the table at thi..." I can't bring much solutions to the table at this time, but just my fears and honesty, unfotunatly."<BR/><BR/>See, here's the thing. People have been trying to put me in a box all my life. If I had let them I would never have left the small town I was raised in. Certainly grad school and advanced degrees were far beyond the reach of a girl raised on a dirt farm without indoor plumbing. Date and marry IR? Are you kidding me? No never. From third grade until I graduated high school rarely a week went by that I didn't get jumped by somebody. Why? Because I spoke proper English and had long hair. I fought then and I will fight to the death now before I'll let other people define me and tell me what my parameters are. Even as a child I recognized that these people were full of isht and I'm even more disgusted now. I am what I am. If I want to shave my head and paint myself blue that's my business. And I'll be goddamned to hell and back before I'll let anyone tell me otherwise. It's my hair, it belongs to me and no one else. We live in a totally effed up culture with no moral or logical compass whatsoever. Why would I let people who live in this society tell me what and who I am? I don't think so. <BR/><BR/>"Roslyn, you mentioned you keep your hair in twist for weeks then wear it in a twist out. In all fairness, doesn't that technique usually give real tight hair that look and feel of most black biracial hair textures? It’s still borders ones personal “non-authentic” appearance/texture and it’s somewhat hypocritical, no offense."<BR/><BR/>No offense taken, though I must admit I had to laugh out loud. Nothing short of chemicals could give my hair a 'biracial hair texture.' -lol- Actually, even with a relaxer my hair never attained 'biracial texture.' -lol- My hair is supernappy with 80% or better shrinkage. Why did I wear it in twists before I locked. Because I live in the Deep South with southern humidity. My hair raises like popcorn. <BR/><BR/>Look at my picture on my website roslynhardyholcomb.com. I've been accused of many things, but nobody could ever say my hair looked 'biracial.' My hair is 100% from the Motherland nappy and I love it that way. <BR/><BR/>"I don't know, there seems to be thin lines here between "natural", style, manageability, and shame."<BR/><BR/>Actually, I don't think it's confusing at all. If you don't use chemicals to change your hair's texture, you're natural. If you do, you're not. No ambiguity for me.roslynholcombhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14214462303849964910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-44154468190500105572007-10-31T13:44:00.000+00:002007-10-31T13:44:00.000+00:00Rosyln said: "Is it helping us health wise? There'...Rosyln said: "Is it helping us health wise? There's an absolute epidemic of alopecia amongst black women. I know very few black women over the age of 40 that don't have bald spots and horrific damage from relaxers. Not to mention burned off and broken off hair."<BR/><BR/>I must agree with this. In my humble opinion, it seems to me that with all the technical advances in black hair care over the last 50-75 years, black hair to me, seems less healthy then I have seen in a while. I am a child of the late 80's, early 90's, and I remember most of the black girls (pre-teen) on my black having thick afro puffs. Our mothers may have straigtened our hair every week or other week, but for the most part, our hair looked healthy and full. Back in the day, in my area at least, we couldn't get our hair relaxed until we were at least in high school. <BR/><BR/>Contrast that to today. I was at a recent b-day party for my cousin who just turned 10. Looking around that day, I couldn't help but notice how jacked up most of the little girls hair was. These girls ranged from 8-10, but most seem to have their hair chemically relaxed and for the most part, the hair look fried and damaged, a few had false hair pieces and the rest had braids, a significant portion of which seemed to be breaking off their hair edges. What a flippin' mess? <BR/><BR/>I do agree to some extent with Halima, that we shouldn't place all the blame on bw, but at the same time, I can't help but think something is terribly, terribly wrong here. Because you know that it is the mother's of these children that are jackin' up their hair and passes on their hair issues. That experience just made me incredibly sad and pessimistic about the future mental health and self-esteem of black young girls.<BR/><BR/>We can't blame bw 100% for this problem (and it is a problem), but only bw can combat it. We can't wait around for validation from bm, hell even bw, white people, asian people, etc., to tell us that our hair is beautiful because painful as this may sound - IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.<BR/><BR/>Black women and hair issues I have always thought was as bigger if not bigger then the whole light/dark thing. The reason why it probably doesn't seem to get as discussed is because we have found a way to combat "nappy" hair what with relaxers and hot combs. Our hair issues negatively impacts our everyday lives because there are bw out their who won't work out, go swimming, deathly afraid of rain, etc., because it would "kink up" their hair and it would take too much time to fix it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-16170072312377197542007-10-31T11:08:00.000+00:002007-10-31T11:08:00.000+00:00Miriam,I am a confirmed product junkie, and I blog...Miriam,<BR/><BR/>I am a confirmed product junkie, and I blog here about my hair and my products I use :):<BR/><BR/>http://afroncurls.blogspot.com/Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09887279569489057828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-10436089040659499012007-10-31T10:03:00.000+00:002007-10-31T10:03:00.000+00:00sol -re: kids feeling honored. i'm working on it!S...sol -re: kids feeling honored. i'm working on it!<BR/><BR/>Sidditty -you gave me an idea. How about on Afro day, information on how to care for natural hair gets blogged about or talked about or something.Miriamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06067406973014144499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-52478220329923881702007-10-31T06:46:00.000+00:002007-10-31T06:46:00.000+00:00Miriam said"Thanks so much"Sure:))))))))))))"how a...<B>Miriam said</B><BR/>"Thanks so much"<BR/><BR/>Sure:))))))))))))<BR/><BR/>"how about the information center blog that was created (on the sidebar)"<BR/><BR/>Evia's site right? I should start sending her things.<BR/><BR/>I'm sure you'll do fine with the twin girls. If I were one of them I'd feel pretty special to have a sibling who is the mirror image in terms of hair. It's almost like they were created as twins to be a reflection of the unity their parents share. They can both be honored and proud in that sense.<BR/><BR/>-solAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-8797441756208092852007-10-31T03:59:00.000+00:002007-10-31T03:59:00.000+00:00Perhaps my perception is off about this, but the c...<B>Perhaps my perception is off about this, but the comparison of the "nothing but a bm" mentality to the natural/processed hair debate seems incongruous. For one thing, I thought the point of these types of blogs was to encourage women to move away from dating black men solely out of a sense of loyalty or responsibility to the black community if their primary experience was being treated less than what she deserves. So it wasn't about bashing women who prefer to date bm exclusively, but trying to change the mindset of those who enter into AND maintain destructive relationships with bm to the detriment of their emotional, psychological, and physical well-being - all for the sake of "keeping it real." I've yet to read anyone tear down a woman in a relationship with a bm in which she is being treated respectfully and lovingly.</B><BR/><BR/>I'll try to explain my point more. I don't agree with bashing and I don't think that anything in my earlier posts were bashing of BW.<BR/><BR/>Also, I never attempted to tear down any BW/BM relationships, nor say that BW who choose to relax hate themselves, etc. I don't think anyone on here has said that (if they did, I missed it.)<BR/><BR/>My point was that the whole point of encouraging BW to potentially consider dating out of their race to find a good partner is about thinking outside accepted "norms." So is the encouragement of BW to accept themselves just as they are, dark skin, natural hair, everything.<BR/><BR/>The sad thing is, a lot of BW that I know who have gone natural have gotten a lot of criticism from other BLACK WOMEN! They'll be minding their own business, and other BW will call them out about their choice to go natural, call them ugly, call their hair ugly, tell them they'll never get a man, etc.<BR/><BR/>So if anything, I see more BW tearing down other BW for choosing to be natural, NOT the other way around.<BR/><BR/>The re-education of BW involves so many different factors, and a HUGE one is getting us to accept that our hair is beautiful as is, and can be worn successfully without harm to one's professional life or ability to find a good man, regardless of color.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-84826178144422920792007-10-31T03:08:00.000+00:002007-10-31T03:08:00.000+00:00As folks have said, running from our natural hair ...As folks have said, running from our natural hair is NOT working for us. Not in terms of our health, our self-esteem, our ability to get men (if 75% of BW relax and 70% of BW are single, then obviously that relaxed hair isn't resulting in getting BM to marry us...)<BR/><BR/>So why not take the same approach to loving and embracing our hair on this blog as we are to the idea of considering WM as partners?<BR/><BR/>3:00 PM<BR/><BR/><BR/>Especially since the wm that I've come across simply adores bw's hair in its natural state.Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01742619542367946642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-68043111462791834872007-10-31T03:00:00.000+00:002007-10-31T03:00:00.000+00:00Halima said: "Also can I point out that locs, twis...Halima said: <I>"Also can I point out that locs, twists and braid might appear to be in the ‘natural band’, but they are still hair styles that are used to manage the natural state of black hair making nappy hair more ‘closer to the scalp’ and adding the ‘gravity drop’ that doesn’t occur naturally. Have folks considered this?"</I><BR/><BR/>Thank you for saying that, I was thinking the same thing. Thank you also for putting that list together. It help puts things into perspective. I identify with just about all of them! I also wish I could wear my hair "natural" or in locks, but I am afraid of being labeled. Yes, I am afraid of ignorant people stereotyping or calling me a "ganja smokin rasta woman" or "dat cheap ass dry head gyul". It does not matter what papers you carry or what suit you wear, and I live in a black region, imagine that. I can't bring much solutions to the table at this time, but just my fears and honesty, unfotunatly. <BR/><BR/>Roslyn, you mentioned you keep your hair in twist for weeks then wear it in a twist out. In all fairness, doesn't that technique usually give real tight hair that look and feel of most black biracial hair textures? It’s still borders ones personal “non-authentic” appearance/texture and it’s somewhat hypocritical, no offense.<BR/><BR/>Before I read what you wrote I was going to mention something similar to what Halima said, and I was going to comment on some of those wavy type hair texturizers some black women use while claiming to be natural. I don't know, there seems to be thin lines here between "natural", style, manageability, and shame.La♥audiobookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00113372034561824170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-77787112889478809932007-10-30T22:47:00.000+00:002007-10-30T22:47:00.000+00:00"they are still hair styles that are used to manag..."they are still hair styles that are used to manage the natural state of black hair making nappy hair more ‘closer to the scalp’ and adding the ‘gravity drop’ that doesn’t occur naturally"<BR/><BR/>This is true...nowadays, many natural women wearing their hair "free" are getting questions from mainstream blacks like "So... when are you going to loc that?" Locks have somehow gone from "unclean voodoo hair" to the most acceptable natural alternative in the eyes of the black community -- why? Because they're slightly more akin to straight hair -- and not that different from braids -- "behaviorwise."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-82645765295520049472007-10-30T22:39:00.000+00:002007-10-30T22:39:00.000+00:00"I don't know where folks get the idea that a 'fro..."I don't know where folks get the idea that a 'fro is the only natural style available"<BR/><BR/>It's because blacks are used to seeing their straightened hair -- as well as the straight hair of other groups -- just worn down and left, pretty much "alone" (aside from brushing or combing) or pulled back, as far as an everyday style is concerned... if very kinky hair were kept in the same manner, unlocked, it would be an afro or an afro puff. So, for lazy people like myself who don't feel like styling on a regular basis, an afro would be pretty much it. It doesn't help that there are very few salons accustomed to styling natural hair. In addition to that, to appreciate natural hair, you pretty much have to put everything you've ever been culturally taught about hair in the garbage -- how hair is "supposed" to look, feel, act, grow, how to groom it, how people respond to it (even when healthy, well-styled, and "long"), hair as a symbol of beauty, femininity, and professionalism -- it all has to be rethought and born anew, in the midst of a larger culture (as well as a black subculture) that's for the most part, diametrically opposed to it. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it just is what it is, and every kinky-haired BF isn't ready for that, or going to be interested in dealing with it -- not that that's what you were saying.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-43969702316901287502007-10-30T22:38:00.000+00:002007-10-30T22:38:00.000+00:00"SO let's be careful about the "weave" label."Oh m..."SO let's be careful about the "weave" label."<BR/><BR/>Oh my goodness, I do not know how many track checks I get when I press my hair because it is longer. People feeling in my head without permission looking hard for those tracks. GggggggrrrrrrrAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09887279569489057828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-17108592782688192062007-10-30T21:47:00.000+00:002007-10-30T21:47:00.000+00:00"Most black men are not going to be turned off by ..."Most black men are not going to be turned off by a well kept natural hair style. If a woman has a nice figure, a pretty face, and a good attitude, her hair style will be close to meaningless to most men."<BR/><BR/>Ah, suure... like I told my mother the day after I exchanged my twists for "Pocahontas-esque" extensions... a BF getting long, straight hair is the equivalent of a white brunette becoming a blonde. Random BMs were coming out of the woodwork... hair matters to men of all races when assessing female attractiveness, women know that, so they spend their time and money accordingly. Guys talk a good talk, but they aren't fooling anyone, not the marketing exec in the high-rise, and not the girl next door... if men were drooling over and raving about "organic" hippie chicks instead of plucked, polished, bleached and spackled women in magazines, on the street, and on TV, we'd notice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-60575794987959047672007-10-30T21:27:00.000+00:002007-10-30T21:27:00.000+00:00I embrace my nappy hair all the dang time. Persona...I embrace my nappy hair all the dang time. Personally I am happy to be relaxer free. I think that as time goes on, more and more women are accepting their natural hair. The saddest and most difficult thing to overcome about hair, is the fact that we as black women have never really been taught how to care for our natural hair. We only know how to care for it altered. Thankfully, there are tons of websites, where I can get ideas, learn about different hair types, products, and methods of caring for my hair. <BR/><BR/>Maybe if we had a national day or week of showing afro pride, we might be able to open the discussion up beyond "When are you going to the beauty shop to get your hair done" "Are you militant?" questions.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09887279569489057828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-41848933425973260212007-10-30T20:44:00.000+00:002007-10-30T20:44:00.000+00:00Anonymous said... As folks have said, running from...Anonymous said... <BR/><BR/>As folks have said, running from our natural hair is NOT working for us. Not in terms of our health, our self-esteem, our ability to get men (if 75% of BW relax and 70% of BW are single, then obviously that relaxed hair isn't resulting in getting BM to marry us...)<BR/>___________________________________<BR/><BR/>This is a very good point. I often hear BW talk about how BM ignore them when they wear their hair natural, and yet it doesn't appear they're getting much serious attention from BM out of all the straightening and weaving either. <BR/><BR/>Most BM do prefer straight hair, but now they can freely pursue women who have it naturally. They don't have to settle for women struggling to achieve a poor substitute for straightness through relaxers or yaki #2. So why are BW still doing this to themselves? The "BM and corporate America" excuse is wearing a little thin.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-75473370350349911072007-10-30T18:56:00.000+00:002007-10-30T18:56:00.000+00:00So why not take the same approach to loving and em...<I>So why not take the same approach to loving and embracing our hair on this blog as we are to the idea of considering WM as partners?</I><BR/><BR/>Perhaps my perception is off about this, but the comparison of the "nothing but a bm" mentality to the natural/processed hair debate seems incongruous. For one thing, I thought the point of these types of blogs was to encourage women to move away from dating black men <I>solely</I> out of a sense of loyalty or responsibility to the black community if their primary experience was being treated less than what she deserves. So it wasn't about bashing women who prefer to date bm exclusively, but trying to change the mindset of those who enter into AND maintain destructive relationships with bm to the detriment of their emotional, psychological, and physical well-being - all for the sake of "keeping it real." I've yet to read anyone tear down a woman in a relationship with a bm in which she is being treated respectfully and lovingly.Daphnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01503615085554461394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-88668466167040344352007-10-30T18:04:00.000+00:002007-10-30T18:04:00.000+00:00(if 75% of BW relax and 70% of BW are single, then...<I>(if 75% of BW relax and 70% of BW are single, then obviously that relaxed hair isn't resulting in getting BM to marry us...)</I><BR/><BR/>Maybe it is doing the opposite. I would be curous as to the percentage of natural women who are married compared to the percentage of permed women who are married. I suspect that women who go natural are less likely to be approached by men who are shallow and less shallow men are more likely to be in committed relationships.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com