tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-297188072024-03-07T18:24:39.431+00:00Black, Woman and Winning!Getting you on your way to 'Full-Options' dating! - ©Halima AndersonUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger226125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-49605304550160337942015-05-15T21:58:00.003+01:002015-05-15T21:58:45.110+01:00They are Still at it!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) Poster" src="http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTk0Mzg4NDYyOF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTM2ODg2NTE@._V1_SX214_AL_.jpg" height="640" itemprop="image" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) Poster" width="432" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Courtesy IMDB.com</td></tr>
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Yes black ladies, they are still at it!</div>
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The only black woman among the team of actresses
of all races from the movie Pitch Perfect 2 and she gets to play 'the
butch'. Look how she is squatting in the picture. You can barely
see her as a female, she is the 'male' of the group
essentially. It's all very deliberate and in line with broader
representations of black women. And if it was done without conscious
thought then realize how strong and persistent the construction of
black women as masculine continues to be. Indeed it appears not
to have waned since the time of Sojourner Truth who asked in her
historic speech in 1851 of the same title, 'Ain't I a
woman' . Actually this trailer image has half the
number of women of the other fuller poster were I counted at least 12
different actresses, each of them allowed to look
leggy, feminine and longhaired except the black one among them
(they do all they can to keep Rebel Wilson <a href="http://unlimitedlivingandloving.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/they-are-still-at-it.html">contd</a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-31209757071757657822015-04-23T23:48:00.004+01:002015-04-23T23:48:49.384+01:00Please Visit the Link Below for my new Blog Post<a href="http://unlimitedlivingandloving.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/all-welcome-to-my-new-chapter-blog.html">Visit New Blog Portal</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-48128164311879053622015-03-15T11:19:00.003+00:002015-03-15T11:19:27.722+00:00Checking in...Hi Folks<br />
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Its been over a month. I am still here lol!<br />
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As a lot of my posting these days are not about interracial relationships but getting ahead as a black woman I am in the process of presenting these writings in another blog (I am still doing a bit of working looking at how it will work and setting it up).<br />
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So bear with me as I migrate to a more appropriate format.<br />
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While I am at that Please have a think about developing mental toughness<br />
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I am in the middle of a book which to me seems like it is the missing puzzle I have been searching for in bringing things together for me.<br />
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There are a range of books out there dealing with the subject of Mental Toughness. I would encourage you to pick up one or two and have a read. Amazon will have ratings and reviews to help with your selection. In our modern times with so much competition and erosion of self belief, it is good to know there are certain principles and techniques you can employ to keep you goal focused and on course in your ambitions despite set backs and fears.</div>
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Keep at your goals!</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-23408009552631169572015-02-07T17:08:00.000+00:002015-02-07T17:08:03.978+00:00She who has the Knowledge Wins!Today again it was brought to me how being in possession of the right information puts one ahead of the pack. I went out for a social event in a pair of impossible heels (the ones that are you know, ok for all of two hours and then you wonder how you ever thought to wear them!). Anyway on my way home I got out of the train station and there was a young black girl who passed ahead of me and literately flew down the road. I watched her get smaller and smaller as she raced away as i cursed my shoes again and bumbled along with my feet sore and all.<br />
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Anyway she soon disappeared from sight, and I took my usual route all the way back to the place I needed to be, which involved cutting across a small housing estate and a few parks and etc and then hopped unto a street that would take me to the next street which was my end destination, and guess who I saw as I turned the corner? Yes you guessed it, the young lady who had disappeared from my view was turning off the main street across from me and we were both headed clearly to the same street but this time around i am actually a few yards ahead!</div>
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Now it is possible that she had stopped off somewhere but most likely she took the longer route while I, knowing the area, knew the short cut. From the way she looked down when she saw me I think I am right in guessing that she took the long route such that even while i was working unbelievably slow and she was racing down the road with all that energy and effort, in the end I arrived just ahead. </div>
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Do you sometimes feel like that in life? That you put all the effort and energy and yet just cant get what you pursue. Maybe you went back for another degree but it didn't lead you to that promotion, in fact as soon as you completed the second degree you found out that the 'in' skills being sought in your industry were from a totally unrelated field. </div>
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It happens all the time. I remember seriously contemplating a training certificate which would have costs thousand because it was said to be the 'in thing' if you wanted to be any sort of trainer. A year later there was a change of government that jettisoned the previous policy on the matter. The new government went as far as to encourage the recruiting of teachers and trainers straight into classrooms from non teaching and training backgrounds. </div>
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<br />My suggestion here is focus on the right knowledge for your endeavor and that will entail a lot of research, considering broader conditions even geopolitics and a lot of sheer informed luck.</div>
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Whatever it is you are struggling with, there is the right knowledge that will help you get there. Realising there is a knowledge gap is the first but most important step because some folk don't even know that they don't know and that is a big problem.</div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-85908983166239393122015-01-09T22:41:00.002+00:002015-01-09T22:49:40.017+00:00My God. Be Inspired!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-38662323062211423702015-01-05T22:10:00.003+00:002015-01-05T22:11:25.398+00:00From the archives I can't believe its already over 2 years since I wrote the article below wow!<br />
Please re read from the archives while I try to shake a nasty cold.<br />
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Enjoy!<br />
<a href="http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/find-your-own-personal-style.html">Link</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Find your own Personal Style!</span> </h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I attended a funeral service last week, with a high antecedence of black folk and just a spattering of whites and others. First of all, let me repeat the point I made in the past, about how black folks love black to the detriment of stylish presentation. As you can imagine, the black crowd appeared to be in their element with this all out licence to wear black!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I noticed a few folk who chose other sombre colors. I have mentioned that I myself am trying to move away from black but as old legacies die hard (that sturdy coat you bought in black or those pretty charcoal suede heels you adore), I still have black stuff I can freely access and so I was – without even especially planning it- in mostly black.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Anyway apart from a few black women who made the effort to look well turned out even in all black, I am afraid the long skirts and those Germanesque practical shoes and denier 100 black stockings, were in full display, of course teamed with all sorts of curious pentecostal hats and not to forget shapeless coats!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">To be fair many of the women in these I-am-not-even-trying-to-look-good apparels where middle aged, but there is truly an issue in terms of how black women in Britain dress and their whole sense of style. I am not just pointing outward, I include myself in this critique. And yes there are a range of real reasons why black women might be experiencing lack of choice when it comes to style and dressing. Our particular comon shaping (bigger bust and hip area), can mean that we quite quickly develop a love affair with stretchy fabric so we are not wrestling with buttons and zips or a loose waisted skirt with a tight hip area. I personally know how frustrating it is to go into shops (even those that dress larger women), and try on dress after dress and still not find any to fit. I know that many of us with our body shapes are confined to shapeless clothes in dull colors by clothes companies who dont know what to do with our proportions or refuse to spend extra to tailor for larger women. I know the heartbreak of ordering clothes online only to have to return every single one of them for sizing issues.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Solution</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">These are some ideas of styling/dressing for black women</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Don’t be too focussed on fashion trends, instead make it a life long journey to hunt for pieces that fit and compliment and attest to your unique style, then keep these staples around as long as possible. Be a collector so to say, of fine clothes – don't wear out good fitting clothes, and think of buying multiples of an item of clothing that works, even in other colors.If a pencil skirt of a particular style and make works for you for instance, why not go back and get a couple more. Think of buying two or three, even in different colors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Every black woman should visit a stylist every couple of years and this is critical once you hit your thirties. There is even the option to go shopping with your stylists. Get your color wheel sorted out as well, so you know what colors and color tone work for your skin type even in terms of makeup.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Focus on building an individual style. Leave the crowd behind. Grow your own hair for instance (there are many methods available now to achieve this goal -watch this space), and put aside the weaves and wigs as a staple of your look. Look after your skin as it is the foundation of your look!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Every black woman needs a skin lightner (I kid you not and this isnt an invitation to self-hate so calm down!) Having melanin means on average, a greater tendency to have black spots and discolored patches. A little outbreak of pimples and you are left with black marks for the next couple of weeks! In effect if you have outbreaks once every month which could be termed mild, because of the black spots that result you are however never free from the signs of acne from month to month (acne then marks, then acne and marks and so on). I am noticing even more, black women with uneven tone, some have serious melasma where it looks like they have rubbed their faces in soot (and as dark black skin ages this soot-on-face look can become even more apparent). A good skin lightner/brightner or peel, to address discoloration and even skin tone can be of great service to black skin. The aim in this case is not to make you lighter but maintain what you have! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Know what works and don’t forget it in this whole crazy rush to change clothes and update wardrobes every season! If you get a styling right, why not take a picture of your ensemble -preferably with you in the picture-and build a scrap book. This is so handy when you have to find an outfit for a party or an interview etc quickly. Why spend hours shopping for something, when you can flick through your scrap book and decide in minutes the best look for you and also discover that you already have pieces that work in your wardrobe! Scrap books also help you develop and discover a sense of your own style.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Support wear is a must. A good deal of my clothes budget goes on support wear. A smooth line and uplifted bust and butt, does wonders even under tent like clothes. That’s how effective shape wear is. For many of us, shape wear needs to be built into our everyday dressing, so you must have several girdles etc. I would suggest, go for a fitting. There are companies and tailors that can make individually fitting corsets and shape wear. I would pay the money to have this done. It is an investment that is well worth it (some of us end up with off the shelf shape wear that rides up or down etc as the day wears on and a tailor-made corset etc can be a good guard against this happening).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Loose weight and exercise for firmness. This goes without saying and enables you to have access to the best clothing on offer as opposed to being an after-thought of clothing companies. There is something about sizing of clothes that means that the bigger you get the more likely you are to experience acutely, a mismatch of sizes on your upper and lower parts. Rolls of fat accumulating in specific areas can also force you into sizes that end up being too big in fit in particular areas, because body disproportionality increases with size.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Spend good money where you need to, do not skimp (shape wear, bras, girdles, shoes, coats).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Try other colors than black (try navy, silver, grey, black green, forest, camel etc). See if you can go three days of the week without an item of black (even your bag!).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Remember people make a large part of assumptions about us by how we dress, use this to your advantage and take pride in creating an intriguing style and look. Speaking to the world through your sense of style and creating this style can be such fun. I am a creative person and nothing gives me more creative pleasure tha designing a look!</span> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: medium;">My Latest e-books are now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s1600/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s200/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #0066cc;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="125" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="137" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"><span itemprop="name">Halima</span> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/find-your-own-personal-style.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2012-11-15T12:34:00Z"><span style="color: #0066cc;">12:34 pm</span></abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"></span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=29718807&postID=253457646883311447" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" src="http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" height="13" width="18" /><span style="color: #0066cc;"> </span></a> </span> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1401674698"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=29718807&postID=253457646883311447&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" width="18" /><span style="color: #0066cc;"> </span></a> </span> </span> <span class="post-backlinks post-comment-link"></span> </div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-7008299765742609652014-12-23T11:01:00.004+00:002014-12-23T11:02:52.148+00:00BWE is about Balance and Focus on the major thing - youThis is my last post of the year in which I wish us all a Happy Christmas and a very special New Year of dreams fulfilled and more dreams.<br />
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I missed my planned post for the 15th of Dec. It just got suddenly crazy busy. It amazes me that we go through this time each year but I never quite gauge how busy it gets so I say I will do things that I never get round to ha! I get better at some bit of the planning and preparations for Christmas however I guess because of the shorter days it does feel like there are not enough hours. I still overspend, forget to send a card on time, over buy alcohol etc etc but I am still working at it.<br />
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Today in light of the recent happenings/killing of black men and the spark riots, counter killings that have happened recently I would like to say something about the position of BWE in all this.<br />
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If you ask me what the most salient difference between a left and right world view is, I will summarize by saying that there is the position of the left that we should not put up with the world as it is but change it for the better. On the right the view often is that there is a way the world works and those it favors and we should all get in with these ways and methods of winning and the sad truth is that people will get left behind and even crushed by the system in place. On the left there seems to be virtue and on the right there seems to be uncaring self interest. The truth however is that things are not exactly as they appear, for one all the change we think we have made in our society might not work out as progress in the final analysis. Humans have moved far but we might end up in a place that is very unhealthy for the planet and for humanity. The ability to be selfish is also inbuilt into all of us or else we wouldn't do things that improve our individual lives on a daily basis, we wouldn't care for ourselves, eat right, exercise etc.<br />
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In all this it appears the key is balance. Even as a black woman you get pulled in different directions, you want to contribute to creating a better society but you must always keep in front of you your personal ambitions, your personal well being. If you forget your self in all this you will end up being used by others to push forward an agenda and then get cast aside. We all have one life to live and we need to look into that. Money and wealth makes life better. No left winger can convince me otherwise especially since they often continue to keep their personal or family wealth intact while preaching for a better world whether it be Naomi Kline, Russell Brand etc etc. Even if they are not massively wealthy they keep intact the net works and positions that keep them in lucrative deals so they are never living in poverty while speaking against it. To me the test of walking the talk is as Jesus put it, "sell you goods and give it to the poor'. If they are not doing this then we all need to focus on our own comfort and well being.<br />
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Poverty is a horrible thing. As I have written in <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/lessons-from-neighbourhood.html">Lessons from the Neighborhood</a> it can be so mentally destructive and soul destroying to be trapped in a situation you cant change because you lack the finances. <br />
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The world set up that responds to money and wealth and favors those who have these will not change in the near future so you have to be at work trying to elevate your self and your situation so that you have a level of independence to react and respond in ways that safeguards not just your life but your well being mental and physical. Indeed if you came down with a bad disease today would you have the money to opt into some positive experimental treatments. What about your family members? There are treatments, diets etc that can go a long way in improving the lives of your loved ones but for the lack of resources.<br />
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So have a happy time of year and see you in the New year pumped up and ready to take on great new challenges to take us further and farther. <br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 5th January 2015</strong></span><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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</strong> <div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-61788362328118078742014-12-01T11:14:00.005+00:002014-12-16T17:29:19.316+00:00Innovation is the name of the GameLook at all the amazing things we enjoy because humans are essentially animals of innovation. Having just been to the dentist for some major dental work, I am thankful that certain fields of endeavor don't stagnated but move on and innovate sometimes at a fascinating speed. Trust me, you want medicine and dentistry to evolve especially as you grow older and depend on these services more. Years ago when I visited dentists with my kind of problem, the dentist would simply look at his x-tray shake his head and schedule an extraction. Today as my dentist said, they work with 'tooth on the edge'. <br />
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Animals don't innovate at least not as a general pronounced aspect of their lives. If too many animals die as a result of a situation, predator or condition, a few of them will evolve past the weakness and their genes will pass on this 'innovation' to the next generation.<br />
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As for humans, we innovate on everything, even the most simplest of ideas and implements. <br />
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Needles seem to have been one prehistoric tool that enabled man to leap forward in his evolution. By being able to sew and make clothes, tents and etc, man (and woman) was able to keep warm from the elements and spread into territories were winter months lasted and lasted which would have served to keep out human populations. I just opened a catalogue and found an innovation on needless, that most prehistoric of inventions! Made for people with sight and desterity problems (like older persons) apparently you don't need to squint and carefully thread this needle.All you need do is insert your thread from a top opening. Easy Peasy!<br />
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Innovation is the name of the Game. You as an individual need to be innovating. The way you did something yesterday, need not be the way you do it today especially if yesterdays method took up much time and resources. Sometimes its not just about new implements and discovering new patented tools and inventions. Organizing by studying a situation so that you can schedule it better is an area of innovation. Can you combine elements of your house work for instance to make them easier and more efficient. I am one of the great snoozers of all time who likes to stay in bed that extra 10 mins. It occurred to me and I decided that since I like the comfort of my bed and the feel of the warm sheets just after I have woken, I will do 15mins of reading in bed each morning. It works for me because I can do some essential reading at a point where it would have been simply wasteful lolling. I am just about to finish my first book using this morning reading method and it is a book I have been carrying about unfinished for months now. So yes 'life hack' (as they are called) tricks are another area of amazing innovation.<br />
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I warn that if you are not innovating in your life, at work and school, you might well be paying a price for it. The world increasingly belongs to the innovator (and I don't mean only major innovators like computer programmers and etc). At work, people expect you to take things forward and you pay a high price socially and economically if you are a person who just does it as it has always been done, and never finds even slight ways of improving efficiency or quality. Learn new skills, time management procedures etc to take your work and life practice to another level where innovating the tired and stale is your watchword.<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">Please visit this blog and participate!</span><br />
<a href="http://myplaceinthesun.typepad.com/my_place_in_the_sun/2014/11/thankful-for-bwe-week.html">My Place in the Sun</a><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 20</strong></span><span style="color: blue;"><strong> December 2014</strong></span><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s1600/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><strong><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s200/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="125" /></strong></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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</strong><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-68692655641044835582014-11-16T21:39:00.002+00:002014-11-16T21:39:38.548+00:00How well do you know your own Psychologyand how well do you know your own body.?<br />
After many years of observing (or simply after experiencing it year in year out it became obvious) I realize that during the cold periods I am more or less in a constant state of colds and flus. I now realize that I can have infection after infection after infection. It means I have now adapted my daily strategy to recognizing this reality for me. Previously I would be less careful about catching a cold after I had had a bout of it believing myself to be somewhat immune, now I simply make sure I am constantly defending against another infection. <br />
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What are the little things you have discovered about the way your body works or your mind thinks that you can compile and read over again and again. I do my best mental work in the early mornings, I guess like most of humanity however it bears noting now that I am attempting to pursue some IT studies.<br />
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One of the positives of having some years behind you is that you have an understanding of yourself and of the world around you that can be converted into an advantage in how you organize and manage yourself or compete for resources with others that have less of this understanding. In a world that worships youth this advantage can sometimes be forgotten.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tracy Ellis Ross and Father Robert Silberstein</td></tr>
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As women we also learn to accommodate for or control our up and down moods throughout the month. As a teenage episodic sadness almost seemed like the end of the world or that there was something not right with us. I am indeed a sensitive soul but I have learnt to make peace with that reality of my personality instead of wondering why I tear up for the silliest things!<br />
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Here is a list I have recently come up with. See if you can begin to observe and note for yourself things that will help you in making yourself more efficient, saving time and preventing waste:<br />
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<li>If I wash my hair with Sulfur products I get an extra frizz free day </li>
<li>Taking my folder of paper cuttings and reading them on my Monday train commute is the best way compile the important information that could get lost at the bottom of my draw for months</li>
<li>Taking a picture of a well put together ensemble helps give me ideas on days I am searching for what to wear. I just go to my picture folders and I can suddenly put together a good outfit from seeing what I did in the past</li>
<li>If I want to make it in to work on time, then I have to be out of bed and straight to the shower (not switching on my computer)</li>
<li>Surfing celebrity sites before 11pm means a wasted day </li>
<li>If I east any sweets before 12pm it will mess up my food discipline for the day</li>
<li>Cows milk and products made with this makes me bloated. Goat milk is a better alternative</li>
<li>Waking up at 5am each day guarantees I will have a very productive day meeting my personal goals of reading, studying and self improvement </li>
<li>I need to exercise for at least 2 hours a day for mental clarity and balanced emotions and a feeling of wellbeing </li>
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Make lists (as broad as you can), about things you observe about yourself , how you feel how your body behaves and responds in various situations, and when you have compiled these take time to read it at intervals e.g once a month (when ideas occur to me I write it in the note book I carry around everyday and transfer these to my 'jotter of personal observations' at the weekend). Include various philosophies of life (and of winning), that have meaning for you or that work for you e.g 'If I take care of the little things, the big things tend to sort themselves out for me.'<br />
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<strong>Identify Goals for 2015</strong><br />
It's that time of year again to look at a program for the new year. What do you want to do better, shoot for or be involved in? It can be big (and thus broken then into building blocks), or it can be small and ready to launch. I was so inspired last Monday when I got on a train and there was this well made up black lady. Her makeup was dewy and blended and her eye makeup and blusher where right on! She caught the eye of many on the train. I was bleary eyed still wiping the sleep from the corners, no dearly needed foundation! I vowed then that I would spend an extra 15 mins in the morning (by waking earlier that is), to get my face done up before I leave the house. I haven't quite managed it this past week, but I am scheduling to have it sorted by Jan 1st 2015! If you have fitness goals for the new year I would suggest start them now (the beginning of advent is a good place to start) so that you will be well into them by January 1st 2015.<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 30 November 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s1600/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><strong><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s200/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></strong></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-60536962244238754432014-11-03T12:00:00.003+00:002014-11-03T12:00:55.651+00:00Do you feel like you are outside the relationship know-how loop?<br />
What do you know about
how men and women get together in your local area or your society as
a whole. In the USA or UK or France but also in Wisconsin, San
Francisco, Perth. In many a western country its a closed and
stitched up loop from a very early stage. That is to say that men
from good families and worthwhile men are usually stitched up by
school age, in other words the network from which they will find a
bride has already been formed by late teens. I am not saying that
these men will be married by teens or twenties only that the networks
from which they are likely to pick partners has mostly been formed by
then. Men and women meet at college or through the extended networks
of friends made at college or their friends and networks (once or
twice removed). So no matter who they end up you are likely to see it
drawn from this broad ingroup. By the age of 30 it seems almost like
a closed loop to the outsider, yet marriage break downs, death
occurs, life takes people in various directions. In addition luminous
out group people (cultural creators) can gain entry into these closed
and exclusive groups or gaps open up at points in these closed
circles admitting anyone in especially anyone who recognises what and
where the gaps are (So that answers one question of how to break
into the loop of already established social circles).<br />
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<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
What are the prevailing
Zeitgeists that will aid your breaking into exclusive circles? A
certain change in political atmosphere for instance could mean there
is now a market for black conservatives for instance...</div>
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Also think about the
members of these circles and what they could want in terms of
adventure, and variety etc after all their well-ordered socially
fenced off life might no longer provide them with the inspiration and
excitement they seek out of life. Indeed even while others fully
embrace life within the circle, some men want something different to
what they are surrounded by and the predetermined path.
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<b>Philosophies of
relating </b>
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What are the dominant
philosophies that drive relationship formation in your area/society
that could hold sway or even aid your search. In the Western world
many minorities are seen as the downtrodden or the done wrong by the
big bad westerner. For many of us this condescending attitude might
provide us our foot into powerful social circles, and while some
black women and men are happy to play and replay this role, it is not
everyone’s cup of tea especially if at the end you cannot live up
to a fantasy creation and play the part of the aggrieved minority on
demand because you don’t feel in anyway oppressed.</div>
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There are certain
philosophies that have a huge impact on how the dating game is played
for instance in many parts of the western world the drive to take out
all the guess work in men and women coming together, even to flatten
male and female differences (This one is big when it comes to 'the
approach') means that women are now expected to be as up and doing
for the relationship to happen and in visible ways as men. A dominant
school of thought out there suggests that we should no longer adhere
to male female gender roles in getting together, thus there is way
more relaxed attitude to women initiating a date with a man (after
all women are liberated and say what they want and if they are not
saying to men then they don't want). </div>
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There are those who argue that rules of modern feminism have and seek to burst the gender-tensions that made for more exciting romantic interactions between men and women. Traditionalist women are having a hard
time in this current state of affairs. For instance they complain
that men make compliments and hint at a date or relationship (a role
traditionally played by women) waiting for the woman herself to make
the move or close the deal (a role traditionally reserved for men).
As a single woman how do you survive and thrive under this new
relationship regime. Can you deal? If not what is your strategy for
getting what you want in a society in which these new rules hold
sway?</div>
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 16th Nov 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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</strong></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-62943730757264618642014-10-14T19:58:00.002+01:002014-10-14T20:01:21.932+01:00How to Naturally Staple (Shrink) your StomachSelf improvement blog alert!<br />
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Before I tell you how to do this stomach shrinking thingy, lets talk about why the FASTING Diet (or FAST Diet or 5:2 Diet) might be good for you.<br />
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I have just met a friend who has lost so much weight it's unbelievable. She was into aerobics and water weights and all that before and she had a measure of success but she has been on the fast Diet for maybe 2 months and she is looking like a new person.</div>
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She is for me another testament to the success of the Fast Diet. If you haven't heard about this diet then, where have you been? I posted about it a while back and now I am back to it so you know it really is a good 'un. I am not one to post before and after pictures (maybe because I forgot to take the 'before' ones and also I am still on this journey of slow and steady race winning) but I am giving this one a thumbs up because of all the benefits -not just weight loss- that come with doing the Fast (5:2) diet.</div>
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The name might sound scary but it is not a scary diet.</div>
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As the name implies you do two days of low calorie eating on about 550 calories and then eat normally for the rest (5 days) of the week. It is good to do a block of two days though you can split it and do the second day after a couple of days between (there are certain physiological advantages of two consecutive days). Even if you eat excess on the five days you will be in a better place than if you ate to excess every day of the week. I have also found that your eating on the rest of the days (none-fast days), gradually falls off over the months until you are not eating as much generally as before. </div>
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What I like about it is that it reintroduces discipline into your eating gradually, and unlike replacement diets, the short cycles of the Fast diet means that you are always optimistic because the period of low intake comes to an end very quickly and you can restart eating normally. Gradually though from my personal experience, the diet breaks down the hold of overeating over months until you cant even imagine binging on the excess of food that you would ordinarily have been comfortable with eating in the past. This is indeed where the stomach stapling action comes in but more on that later... </div>
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I think I have unravelled the core principle of success inherent in this diet at least for me and a few other people out there. This principle is that for many of us, we need to know how little we can exist on, in order to know how little we should eat. Before I started this diet which has become a lifestyle (almost 2 years), I couldn't quite conceptualize how the human body could survive on the little amount of food (or so I saw it) that gave 2000 calories (using my images of modern food dishes etc). I used to really get shocked to see and hear people talk about or design menus for lunch or dinner for meal portions containing 450 - 550 calories. It was just too small in my eyes. I just didn't know how one could possibly exist on such small portions or so I thought. </div>
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Fast Diet, is a slow and steady worker no doubt but I believe it beats out so many other 'faster' and more popular regimes because of a few facts which I will detail. </div>
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Let me state this plainly, controlling your eating is the MAIN way to loose weight. Exercise helps but trashing about in the gym will go just so far (look around, some folk never exercise but are lean, but on the other hand it is rare to do the level of exercise needed to burn off binge eating weight unless you are a professional athlete or body builder. Intense exercise on a very overweight body can also damage joints and ligaments etc trust me I have been there and done it!).</div>
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No method is easy, loosing weight and overcoming the bad habits that took you to the 18 stone will be hard, or put in other words will take some effort and sacrifice, never believe anyone or any method that promises a walk in the park, often what happens for those who claim it was easy, was that they found a method for themselves that just gelled with their ways of life and rhythms and other psychological makeup so much so it seemed like a breeze to them. So you will have to do something different, sacrifice and even feel deprived (Often my fast day falls on my cinema days and there is a lot of self-pity when I notice the folk around me with large portions of ice creams, snacks, popcorns etc etc). So my advice is, embrace the sacrifice, the self-denial aspect of any dieting and weight loss option you choose because there will definitely be that aspect in fact go ahead and turn it into a spiritual exercises if you need to!</div>
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Never say, 'I am now 50, 40 etc, I should have sorted my weigh out ages ago' and start regreting what you might have missed by being overweight. Put self pity and regret aside and don't let it rob you of one more day of possibility.</div>
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The benefits I found:</div>
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<ul>
<li>After the fist hunger pangs (have your main meal or drink loads of water at this point) have settled, your body goes into a natural high so you are in a very positive and happy state of mind, often with loads of energy (I know it's kind of unbelievable but true!).<b> It is thought that the depletion of your insulin stores as the body burns these for energy is the reason (ketosis) for the <span style="font-weight: normal;">heightened </span>state you experience</b></li>
<li>Your body soon gets into a rhythm and naturally anticipates your days of fasting, in other words your body starts to cooperate with your fast dieting and you start not to feel so hungry on the fast days or you don't wake up thinking about food or breakfast etc etc little ways the body helps you go through the days of low eating. It helps if you do your fast days at the same times in the week e.g on Saturday and Sunday (or better still when you are so busy in the week so you don't really have space to think about food) for instance </li>
<li>The heightened state and energy can lead to a spiritual like perspective on the fast day (no wonder yogis and other spiritual folk incorporate a lot of fasting and restrictive diets into their lifestyles). </li>
<li>It might seem drastic and you may fear for your life but, I have done more extreme weight loss systems that restrict calories for longer periods and know that you don't just starve or collapse after a day or two of low calorie eating as long as you remain hydrated (the body can go without food for weeks as long as you have water), and the ability to live life in a heightened state for a couple of hours or days (smell, taste, sight and sound), is something to be experienced.</li>
<li>Knowing that you can eat after two-three days of rationing teaches you the appreciation of what you put in your mouth after</li>
<li>It might take 6 months or more but you learn discipline in food eating (I think because gradually the process of eating and stopping, eating and stopping, gradually wears down your the hold of the binge eating habits formed in the past). Once you know how little you can eat and convince yourself you dont need all that food, you can easily retrain yourself to eat well because you know intimately that humans don't need that much food, despite feeding habits in the society in general</li>
<li>Your stomach shrinks- trust me on this one! Once you have done this regime for a couple of months, you will not need a third party to remind you not to not cram food down the day after the fast...</li>
<li>Your food bill drops significantly and those food treats you bought will hang around in your fridge for weeks before you find the space on your daily eating pattern to eat them. Cutting two days out from your normal eating block is really significant. I like chicken and fries but have not had the 'space' to insert them in the last month (and no I don't crave it uncontrollably, I just would like to eat it, and know that one of these days I will go into the KFC store down the road and ask for a big meal!)</li>
<li>Write things down that you crave when you are fasting, and see how few of them you actually do get round to eatting when you are not on fast days</li>
</ul>
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and etc etc etc I could write pages.</div>
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I strongly suggest: try this diet for yourself for a week or two and see how it goes, what have you got to lose. Remember nothing worth having is ever easy to achieve, this might be the easiest one in the bunch for you. Don't be indolent!</div>
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<b>How to get a stapled stomach naturally</b></div>
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Folks pay loads of money to control food intake through stomach bypass or stomach band surgery and it is on the whole very successful in curbing overeating because you feel full pretty easily and of course binging is discouraged due to discomfort you get when you binge eat on a 'stapled' stomach. I have recommended the bariatric procedure to family members myself because I know it can be a life saver for those who cannot control/lose their weight. The Fast Diet naturally reduces your stomach size and you do get a good deal of discomfort a few days after if you dare overdo it! However nothing beats three day in a row fast in shrinking your stomach to almost half its capacity. I did three days fasting in august for about three weeks in a row and I can tell you that I honestly cannot overeat (even a bit) without a whole lot of discomfort and regretting having that extra helping. It is training my food eating habits like nothing in the past could! </div>
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Know however that self sabotage is possible also with this diet as with all others and as with a stomach bypass etc alcohol and calorie dense liquid food taken to excess can nullify the effects of a shrunk stomach. </div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 1st Nov 2014</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-40695180948047522482014-09-29T19:42:00.002+01:002014-09-29T19:43:13.556+01:00A Man in Love, a wonder to behold!It's good to see a man in Love!<br />
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A woman in love is great but to behold a man giddy in his infatuation is really a wonder to behold!</div>
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And so it has been for Mr George Clooney in these past few days up to his wedding to Amal Alamuddin. Watching it restores the idea of how love and being in love ought to be; it's suppose to 'idyllic' and euphoric. I wanted to write about something else for this entry but I just thought I'll write something about the couple while the marriage and all are still fresh in the mind and while it speaks to me strongly.</div>
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So they had a whirlwind romance and then the wedding.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdJoxE9CtOREmJwlKoUxeBEUKXnOh9Ge5uV9inLxwIBbL73a4UVnx1aRa4IctpIGGhDFY6W3UljV_DFyZeerUcBchrTAPKAN-0o0ulOhvk7kY0Hg3BKUrTG5RqyCM2K9SdFPVwZQ/s1600/george-clooney-amal-alamuddin-wrote-own-vows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdJoxE9CtOREmJwlKoUxeBEUKXnOh9Ge5uV9inLxwIBbL73a4UVnx1aRa4IctpIGGhDFY6W3UljV_DFyZeerUcBchrTAPKAN-0o0ulOhvk7kY0Hg3BKUrTG5RqyCM2K9SdFPVwZQ/s1600/george-clooney-amal-alamuddin-wrote-own-vows.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love struck couple (Courtesy Getty)</td></tr>
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It was pleasing to the soul watch him confess his love for Amal publicly, this eligible marriage-wary forever bachelor say how he couldn't wait to be married to her while given a speech a few weeks back. This woman bewitched him and he was so entranced that he went back on a vow not to marry again after the breakdown of his first marriage. It was good to watch it all, to see George so inspired and bursting with love and happiness -heck just watching him inspired me too lol- but I think more importantly it was good for George himself. It is good for men (despite talk to the contrary) to be heady in love. Who watching George could not but agree that he looked alive, looked healthier and happier than we have ever seen him, and a more optimistic person being so in love. Yet to hear some people talk you would think that men 'loosing themselves in love' should be avoided at all costs!</div>
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I don't want to idealize Amal and the circumstances around their romance but I guess it was her combination of attributes that clicked for him and was an offer he couldn't let go whereas with other women there just wasn't that final piece who knows. But one cannot doubt her intelligence(Oxford and NYU), talent and ambition in addition to femininity and beauty.</div>
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I am sure if you had told George last year 'George look, you have too many women at your beck and call, its not good for you. Lets change things a bit and give you a woman who you must work to get and work to impress. She wont fall into your lap, she will be as brainy as she is classy, distinctively stylish as opposed to classically doll looking,' I think George might have said, folks you are just making this thing damn complicated, give me a dolled up woman, any woman that appeals to me on sight, I just love women and enjoy like feminine company.'</div>
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Its not just men I suppose, many of us are quick to reach for fast foods to dull our hunger, we can be unimaginative and impatient and maybe closed off to more transcendent living and heightened being. In the area of love in particular we often don't know what's good for us and what will satisfy our souls, with our raft of prejudices and prerequisites and preferences for love to happen.</div>
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So like I said, it is good for men to be in heady in love -I wanted to say crazy in love but I think that phrase means something than what I think it means; I think it means psycho in love lol - to be so inspired that 'I am not good at marriage' becomes 'I damn well am gonna be so bloody good at this marriage thing because I want this woman, what else but married would I want to be'. </div>
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Sadly today's dating environment breeds men who just want it in their lap like yesterday. If a woman doesn't jump to a man's call, he is off to the next. So many lazy men looking for the easy catch. Men feel personally affronted if they are made to exert some effort to 'court' a woman. Sadly I believe this attitude will mean that many will never get the opportunity to experience the heady and soaring feelings of those who have won through to love.</div>
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Many happy years to the happy couple!</div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 13th October 2014</strong></span><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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</strong><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-80590382265310518262014-09-14T20:40:00.003+01:002014-09-14T20:40:51.546+01:00We are rooting for you!<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: purple;">I received a lovely gift from one of my fellow Bloggers and readers, and I felt truly blessed. I can only say to <strong><span style="font-size: large;">S</span></strong> THANK YOU!</span></div>
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My last blog entry was something from my personal circumstances and you know it got me thinking about falling short on all those goals and promises we made about how we would do A or achieve B by a given deadline. Indeed sometimes when you read the writing of BWE bloggers, you can be left with the impression that the changes we require from black women are just a short walk away, but the truth is that most of the changes required to 'live well' will take anything upwards from 18 months. </div>
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Think about it for a second. Say you are overweight, it is possible to loose all the weight in a couple of months, but realistically anyone who has weight to loose and not just the odd flab (and that by the way is the category that most of us weight losers fall into!) will require on average a year and a few months, to sort themselves out if they are consistent that is. If they are not as consistent as they should be, the years can pretty much stretch out ahead. I know, I speak from experience (I must add here that it is important to start the journey no matter how long it will take and don't delay, make a start or a year will quickly pass by and you are still without any kind of progress no matter how little on your situation). </div>
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I will be writing an entry soon on the 5:2 diet which I think has so many benefits particularly for black women but for now, back to the point I am making, which is that you need to give yourself time and be patient as you steer towards your overall goal. Lets think about other things like getting yourself a good career; you might have to go back to school or start a business. It might take you two years to retrain and a good part of five years to start seeing a profit from your business. What about marriage and getting a good mate. Unless you fall into a very very lucky category of humans, from finding a man to marriage should take you on average upwards of 18 months! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As a modern woman use all the modern short cuts and modern 'ways and means' for speeding up your journey. <br />
Drudgery is out! </td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.myplaceinthesun.typepad.com/">Check out this blog</a><br /> </div>
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I am saying all this to say, don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t achieved all those lovely things you pledged you would after reading our blogs years ago now. As long as you are on the journey, keep at it and don’t loose hope. Don’t quit and you will get there. Keep striving to leave that neighborhood, to get a good job/business etc husband etc etc don’t think that you have let us and BWE down because a couple of years have past and you haven't achieved the goal you said you would at the end of that year. What lessons is life teaching you? Don't be too bitter to note the life lessons along the journey that seems unending. Remember the saying, 'Don't forget to smell the roses.' Life is really in the journey and not really the goal. You are on your own special journey different from everyone else. </div>
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There are some of us who preach who are also at probably the same points on the journey as you our readers. You would be very surprised to learn!</div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 30th September 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-11609973838095085112014-09-01T10:41:00.001+01:002014-09-01T11:03:01.264+01:00Lessons from the Neighborhood<br />
Hope you all had a good summer!<br />
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A little story for a teaching lesson:</div>
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My neighbor and I had
called in some estate officials to bear witness to another noisy
neighbor. We were thinking that we had a good case because he was in
full flow at the time when we had them come on a Friday night. However when they the officials sat down to tell us what kind
of noise was now classed in the unacceptable range, I almost lost it! The
threshold is now so high, that to meet the noisy level range, this neighbor would
probably have had to be using a pneumatic drill in his house. I am very noise sensitive and I believe I have written about other noisy neighbors in the past on this blog. This time again my worst nightmare has moved even closer to my house. </div>
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Let me say that the area I
live in has rapidly deteriorated from a nice lush area only 3 years
ago because it was targeted by government to house social 'misfits' who were being housed in much more expensive inner London. When the price difference became just too great the government started to move 'problem folk' -which it had a duty to
house- to the area. I know I will need to move but if you know
anything about the way Britain is going, the South-east of England is
being taken over by rich Russian Oligarchs who have a couple of
millions to spare which I don't-one of the reasons we preach for black women to
have wealth is for such situations where you have to move and move
and move again if necessary.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jourdan Dunn - credits to styleblazer</td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><em>An </em></span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2739408/Spotted-Primark-15-single-mum-new-Naomi-Campbell-making-millions-leaving-drug-dealer-lover.html"><span style="color: blue;"><em>article </em></span></a><span style="color: blue;"><em>that should be celebrating the best of black womanhood becomes one emphasizing how we just love to make wrong choices, love single motherhood are always aggressive and hardship-seeking as a habit!</em></span><br />
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Anyway in my anger and
upset I forgot a key message which I often and constantly preach
especially to black women and that is that they should stop being
taken for a ride by all this chit chat they hear about our fair
societies and feeling that we will be protected by all these nice
sounding government leaflets etc etc. Indeed I thought that the law
and policies would protect my rights to not be disturbed at weekends
by overgrown children, but what I didn’t realize (well I know but it was being painfully brought home to me really and truly in this instance) was that
these 'laws' are written by an elite group of citizens to appeal to
their interests and most importantly their sympathies and weird
biases.</div>
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What am I talking about? In truth, if you are unaware, we now live in a society where
the rich effectively remove themselves from the 'dregs' of society,
at the same time they champion the rights of these dregs over the
rest because they are in their worldview 'poor little folk who have
been 'failed' by the system in some way!'-however they do not move these
dregs anywhere in striking distance of them and their children.
Prioritizing the underclasses particularly over honest, hard-working
citizens in society has become a favorite pastime of the British
elite, that it now 'pays' to be 'kept' by government than put in a honest days work for a paycheck at the bottom end of the skills market. It also means
the hard working and honest pay the price (sometimes the ultimate
price) for the 'indulgence' of these feral and destructive sections.
I am a recovering lefty myself and used to champion the idea of 'care
in the community' until a couple of folk going about their everyday
business got their heads cut open by axe-men who had been 'released'
into the community from mental institutions. And if you haven’t
heard the latest about the rape and trafficking of over 1400 young
British girls while the elite turned a blind eye because they were
'white trash' and their favorite minority class (British Muslims)
was implicated in the abuse, please read a good summary <span style="color: navy;"><span lang="zxx"><u><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotherham_child_sexual_exploitation_scandal">here</a></u></span></span></div>
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The bible says that the
rich rule over the poor, how could I have forgotten. No matter what
left wingers tell you, the world is very unfair and works in favor of
the rich/er and their particular interests and strange emotional
attachments to folk who make life unpleasant for the rest - as long as these ones are nowhere near them of course. So no matter
what people say try to get yourself to the side where you control
your wealth because it is so F)&^ unfair and I felt like stamping
my feet at the unfairness of it all. I started to speak up in my
resentfulness of the whole unfairness of having to meet unreasonable
standards of noise making proof, but from my peripheral view I noticed that my neighbor
had started to 'act' to get her way, even flirted with the officers
and (as she told me later), dragged her son out of bed to say how he
was being kept awake because of the noise. After a while I kept my
mouth shut and let her play the game she was playing. I had started
speaking in my anger at the unfairness and I kind of sensed that this approach was putting the officers on the defensive (having to defend the way the policy was written regardless of how senseless it was) but this woman realized that
she needed to get her way and went for the best strategy. It was her
strategy that seemed to make the officials begin to see it our way and see that it was just unfair to say that we should put up with the noise because it wasn't 'high enough' - imagine that!<br />
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Folks, sometimes you
gotta do what you gotta do, and what you gotta do sometimes is not
rely on the laws and statutes being anything more than a let down. This episode was a reminder that it pays to play the best strategy than whine about the unfairness of the situation. We all have just about 657,000 hours (give or take) on this planet and we need to live most of it in peace and comfort!<br />
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<br /><br /><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post available 15th September 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s1600/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><strong><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s200/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></strong></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-22744037178316841952014-06-14T22:29:00.001+01:002014-06-14T22:29:33.829+01:00Painstaking is how it must be sometimes
Certain journeys in
life will involve you building brick by brick. It can be discouraging
and off putting but only by laying one brick on top of another can
you get to the end goal. I am learning the need for patience with
myself in a number of these situations.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkQGRFfRA1uFmCdKMUqxWWZiz5dsVlPmM3Z1-XD2uXjSHkPHIFLU062tSKJAWk5lblZ2zhmAafAGV9pB9qknNDUHUCwTKlm48CoGzgKYse3s_r1sWzMDnQeqx_m3txnmWRAyCOCg/s1600/Karlheinz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkQGRFfRA1uFmCdKMUqxWWZiz5dsVlPmM3Z1-XD2uXjSHkPHIFLU062tSKJAWk5lblZ2zhmAafAGV9pB9qknNDUHUCwTKlm48CoGzgKYse3s_r1sWzMDnQeqx_m3txnmWRAyCOCg/s1600/Karlheinz.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Goodbye and Goodnight Karlheinz</div>
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Karlheinz the Actor</div>
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Some of you might have
seen this play out in your search for the right diet for you. Because
of your own particular psychology calorie counting might not
have worked. You might have tried dozens of methods, approaches and each
tried 10 times before discarding. At the end you realise one particular method with a
strange individual twist will give you the results you desire, and then
you plateau and have to start the discovery process all over again.
The idea is never to give up. If you are a single woman you might have got to a point where you realize that you have to discard everything you know
or have been told about settling down, and painstakingly map out a new strategy by trial and error. Some of
us realized that we had to start from scratch with how to put
ourselves together, diet and fitness and then putting ourselves in
prime locations to meet guys. You might have come to this realization after years
of thinking it would just happen, or those precious years sitting up in
church praying and thinking one of the few brothers would take notice. But realising
there is a journey ahead can require you gathering yourself and
purposefully setting out.
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I went to watch the
film 'Edge of Tomorrow' with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt.
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I don’t want to give too
much away however one thing I really dug about the film was the pain-staking way they followed and tested each strategy until they arrived
at the successful method to their goal of destroying the enemy. At
one point the character played by Tom Cruise admitted that they had
tested just one little section of the process a dizzying 300 times! It
requires watching to understand but suffice it to say that sometimes
you have to build your strategy to success by painstaking trail and
error, noting down what works and what doesn’t, testing your
theories in real life circumstances until you can say, 'I know the
way.' Then you become an expert with a deeper insight. And you know
that you know, that you know how to get there!<br />
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<strong><span style="color: blue;">Halima is out for the Summer. See you Aug 30!</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: blue;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-78992279290212044822014-05-27T14:16:00.001+01:002014-05-27T14:16:14.151+01:00Find a way to get back in touch with the joy and pleasure of being a Female (which essentially means being different from males)
It's getting hard to
feel in touch with and positive about being a woman in our western
society today, and I don’t say this because of real misogyny and
attacks against the female of the species that we hear about
everyday, especially in areas of the world where the female is
basically still seen as an appendage to all other sorts of other agendas
outside herself. I think there is a concerted and wrong-headed
campaign to flatten all the difference that exists between men and
women in a way that has backfired on the positivity towards being
female.<br />
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I am increasingly experiencing irritation at women in western world
endlessly complaining about 'the sky falling in' because some male
said something out of turn. In addition, when I look at what is
happening to young women in say Nigeria and compare it with the
incessant bleating of women in the West about what is comparatively
'small fry' issues, I cant help but feel that something is all very
wrong about the way western woman approach being female and maybe
something very careless also given the examples of real suffering
(yes I said real), that are all about and of which these same women become
curiously silent when confronted with - or suddenly start hemming hawing about 'cultural
sensitivity' and how we shouldn't judge 'other cultures'.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihaqKfCM9qch7EhDohYdbVoGn0hqGtVmImCiFQxIBz50Q9zOxFkFxc1y1WX0yzbD-8PAtdPiCTpzrs6htV0I4zXVZu1v-bTdTtBB4EiFinjUl0XZehRztKDkk3gWvw2kaDkCbJTQ/s1600/Boko+Haram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihaqKfCM9qch7EhDohYdbVoGn0hqGtVmImCiFQxIBz50Q9zOxFkFxc1y1WX0yzbD-8PAtdPiCTpzrs6htV0I4zXVZu1v-bTdTtBB4EiFinjUl0XZehRztKDkk3gWvw2kaDkCbJTQ/s1600/Boko+Haram.jpg" /></a></div>
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School girls (mostly Christian) captured by the Islamic sect Boko Haram</div>
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Each day I open the
pages of a newspaper I come across the latest complaint of western
womanhood about 'casual sexism', the latest overheard gaffe of some
highly placed male and why this is a sign of deep rooted misogyny etc
etc. Meanwhile, real attacks are happening, the latest being
the plight of mostly Christian school girls kidnapped in Nigeria by
an Islamic sect Boko Haram and likely turned in slave-'wives'. I wish
for drone-fire to rain down on these savages and their enablers and
harbourers. It's too bad for these girls that they have been
kidnapped at a time in the world when sensitivity to all things
'Islamic' prevents the world from getting ruthless with these
un-evolved excuses for humans or even naming the activities of these savages for what it really is.
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It is amazing that
despite real and deadly misogyny having free reign in many of these
third world nations, the women there are still able to maintain the
sweet fragrance of femininity while women in the west who have been
'liberated' from overbearing male dominance don’t know the first
thing about it.</div>
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It seems the campaign
to flatten any difference that exists between males and females and
render all male responses as invalid if not evil is making great
progress. But alongside, the confusion of the western woman about her
role in the scheme of things increases.</div>
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<b>How to be
Irresistible to White Men: doing it the Asian women way</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq_hhDyBSPXCGxtVEgDP6Y1vG8Aox1poSnuRc9_czN50swuaXVwZ2GhnbR9aPbExQZx83kkEAB3zG-XXWoEmshvaFNmWYKqFLoWPZroAb6w0P9JFxuNsprxnI8wjqfVtfO0MFwdQ/s1600/How+to+be+Irresis.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq_hhDyBSPXCGxtVEgDP6Y1vG8Aox1poSnuRc9_czN50swuaXVwZ2GhnbR9aPbExQZx83kkEAB3zG-XXWoEmshvaFNmWYKqFLoWPZroAb6w0P9JFxuNsprxnI8wjqfVtfO0MFwdQ/s1600/How+to+be+Irresis.png" /></a></div>
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So I have been reviewing this e-book from Lisa Marble. I found it to be what some black women need to get into the relationships they say they want.<br />
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Some people have argued
with the premise; why should black women have to emulate Asian women.
To me the answer is very straight forward. Asian women maintain a
level of success in the dating and mating game more than any
demographic so for that basic fact it would be foolish not to take a look at their modus operandi for pointers.
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The other premise which
is being argued against is: why do black women have to make themselves
appealing to white men. It presses all our black pride buttons in
the wrong way I guess. My response is that political correctness can
be a real problem to dealing with the real world. If you are a
sensible black woman you will put away Political Correctness and get
what you want.
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I enjoyed the book and
got so many pointers from it. Get it, you might learn a thing or two.
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post is 15th June 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-39093474132341799412014-05-05T07:26:00.001+01:002014-05-05T07:26:18.793+01:00Those Ideas floating around in your head are for somethingPlease note down the ideas that occur to you in the course of the day, they are important. <br />
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You may have as many as 20-30 insights and unique ideas a day, how any of these do you capture in writing or as a voice recording? Make sure you regularly jot down these everyday ideas as well as read over them at intervals. They may look silly or irrelevant but there are gems that are contained. The reason I say this is that those ideas come from your consciousness scanning your environment for the answers to the many questions and challenges that you are facing in all sectors of your life.<br />
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<span class="_EK">Diana Ross and First Husband Robert Ellis Silberstein</span></div>
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<span class="_EK"></span> </div>
There is something very amazing about the set up of the human mind and consciousness that means that it is actively looking out for itself, to ensure it has a fulfilling time of life, aligning yourself with this natural and innate ability will support you in reaching important goals and ambitions in life. It will also make achieving your goals easier and faster rather than a battle up hill. As long as a situation 'occurs' to you and is noted as a thing in need of an answer or resolution, your mind will get on the job. It will weigh up the critical points of the challenge or problem and then begin to scan your environment for the right solution. You must learn to support and encourage this innate setting and turn it actively towards making life the best it can be for yourself.<br />
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If you are going through a challenge and you are actively thinking about it or it is weighing on your mind, at various points in time in the day, ideas will occur to you. Your mind could also display a variety of solutions for you to consider in a dream, it may even act out an aspect of the scenario when you are in a dream state so you recognize the connection between the solution being presented and the issue you are facing. Take these solutions seriously as they can be ideal and can work for you in real time that is if you can remember them and explore the options contained. <br />
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Also your mind tends to sift through dozens of options of 'what you can do', presenting you the ones which are relevant to your situation.<br />
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I have personally also found that often even if I think I have forgotten my mind can reach back, right back to recollect previous ideas and solutions that would be of use in the present. So that little piece of research you did sometime ago is not always lost, it can be tucked away just waiting to be rediscovered especially when you are in a state of calm.<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post is 25th May 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-80947471171978396882014-04-19T12:20:00.002+01:002014-04-19T12:20:23.404+01:00Dont let paucity of Imagination rob you of a glorious future Part 1
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Don’t let Paucity of
imagination rob you of a bright and fulfilled future</div>
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Failure of imagination
(FOI) stands as the second most critical factor denying many of us a
bountiful life. The first is laziness. The reason why I place FOI
second is that people who are up and doing and who take risks often
stumble into a good thing. However with your imagination you can
create a vision for your future and then follow after this step by
step till you reach your goal.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Caridad and Matthew Modine </td></tr>
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One thing I am coming
to an awareness of is that if you are consistent in working hard and
not being a lazy procrastinator you don’t have to always been on
top gear. Your prior efficiency has a way of filling the gaps for you
in the case of some lapses or when you are not 100. You will be
pleasantly surprised when you expect to put in much energy only to
realize that you are reaping the rewards of past hard work when certain
things just come together for you or roll into your hands. Also there are what I call 'kingpin'
areas in our lives that enable us achieve results across the board. A
slim fit body will help you in your career, in dating and romance and
with a boost of confidence in a variety of areas of life and so will
an educated mind, that's why you need to identify these 'king pin'
areas and attend to them.</div>
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FOI is the inability to
imagine a better future, which is the first step to creating it. If
you accept things as they are; in other words, cant imagine a better
situation, there is a good chance that your actions and activities
will only help entrench the situation you are in permanently. No
matter how many times you fall when moving towards a dream for
yourself, you must get up, dust up and try again. It could be
dieting, having a spouse, a baby, a new job or house, whatever it is,
you must get up and keep at it. That’s what life is about anyway,
working towards a better future, its an unending cycle until we are
over and out.</div>
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It is so easy to see
the status quo as unmovable and set when actually it can transform.
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A few days ago the
issue of black girl woes in campuses was raised once again in a
face-book group that I am a member of. We all know the story; black
girls are shunned by all the males in the school who look past them
to other races of women, even the most polished and most put together
black girls. We have been talking about this for years now and each
time we think about how the individual black woman needs to go off
campus to break from the situation, we have even advised black girls
to wait it out saying to them that after university men develop more
backbone about what they want in women and become less trend-led.</div>
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In a way I agree that
men who have developed character and individuality are more likely to
be open to black women and indeed form the ideal partners for them
and this is a plus (black women's interracial unions tend to be the
most enduring), but I became a bit worried about the idea of saying
to black girls 'wait' especially as being part of the social loop in
university goes beyond simply relationships but is so very vital in
making connections and networks that serve black women for their
career lives etc. Being shunned on the relationship level by their
male peers is in a sense an indicator that they will also be left out
of important loops when it comes to profitable social and career
networks which will impact severely on their career achievements
beyond university.</div>
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We need a better
solution than advising individual black girls to 'wait' or 'go off
campus,' what we need as a new culture to prevail where black girls
are naturally included as normal and natural parts of the campus
ecosystem. It is the failure of imagination as to how this could be
achieved including the function of activists who change perception
and foster inclusion. And no this isn’t about black women 'doing
all the work' and changing social climates isn’t a new phenomenon,
indeed working on integration and diversity is something already
being done on campuses including for LGBT students and the situation
they often face.
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It is however not
simple to put directly the case of 'black women should be included in
the dating options of males on campus.' There is no surer way to
possibly put people off you on in the romantic realm than to make it
an issue of obligation, fairness and equality. Romance doesn't work like that. I also
don’t believe that black girls are without their own inherent
attraction there in the men around them. I believe that factors
derived from the overarching racio-misogynic setup is producing a
screen and filter to the charm, attractiveness and beauty that is to
be found in black women and black women can help the situation out effectively just as they can take a wet sponge to a dirty window and remove the grime to let the sunlight through. </div>
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So if we cant address the issue in terms of
'awareness raising' and the likes, black women must act radically and
with stealth to upend the current 'invisibiling' status quo they are
experiencing. Black girls need to learn to crash parties, create a
brand, a buzz, to put themselves on the map. I am at this point too
far removed from the university campus life to even begin to make
some useful suggestions but I know that with social media and all the
technology available to young people today, a change can be made. If
we let it slide or put up with it because of our own failure of
imagination as the older sisters, it doesn’t mean that young black
girls have to resign to their fate. They should take up the mantle
and the charge to carve out a new reality for themselves. It would
also be much more effective if a group of black girls understood the issue
they faced and combined their efforts to changing things.</div>
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I am curious to know
any thoughts readers have on what can be done.</div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>I will be away from base for a while so next post is 4th May 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s1600/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><strong><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s200/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></strong></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" width="137" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-25695101953091416712014-03-16T18:37:00.004+00:002014-03-16T18:37:34.465+00:00One Habit to take you to the Next Level<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I love my bed and I hang on to it as long as I can in the mornings, waking up only after the 3<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup> snooze alarm has gone off. I have known (at least in my head) that early waking helps you to get the best out of your 24 hours but I have always thought 'I will sleep late and stay up later.' This arrangement seemed to suit me fine especially being a night person that I am. I however had a whole change of mind a few month ago.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAsmxqgJ_nTcGq8paBlarMvsX1z_zfEsRga8PbKAuQrahjrUtZ1ZLXdbH3kLfrj8NrwO466aHaHc8-f0bsARRhkDcxYg9cLtWcpNLhQudmYb4wznnL6jO4C8Tn9gHqZvyGyQr2XQ/s1600/Peter+Finch+and+Last+Wife.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAsmxqgJ_nTcGq8paBlarMvsX1z_zfEsRga8PbKAuQrahjrUtZ1ZLXdbH3kLfrj8NrwO466aHaHc8-f0bsARRhkDcxYg9cLtWcpNLhQudmYb4wznnL6jO4C8Tn9gHqZvyGyQr2XQ/s1600/Peter+Finch+and+Last+Wife.jpg" /></a></div>
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<strong><em>The late great Actor Peter Finch and </em></strong><strong><em>Wife Eletha (curtesy Argenta Images)</em></strong><strong><em> </em></strong></div>
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I was trying to work out the setting up of a new gadget I had bought. I don’t like gadgets especially because there is this massive user manual that you have to weed through just to learn how to work anything from a camera or even the simplest plug-in on your computer. In this case I had tried over a couple of weeks to install the gadget correctly but most of the time I tried, I read the relevant manual pages over and over without grasping the right procedure. Other times I just didn’t have the mental energy to tackle it. Well on this faithful day, I had fallen asleep earlier than usual and so woke up at 5am. A sudden wave of inspiration pushed me into deciding that I would tackle installing the gadget with the few minutes I seem to suddenly have to spare this morning. </div>
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It took me all of 10 minutes to install the gadget that I had spent hours trying to figure out!</div>
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A fresh brain coupled with renewed will power was the reason why the problem that had stumped me for weeks took such a short time. I was clearer in my thinking able to see things I simply stared through when my mind was foggy and when I was tired.</div>
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A certain school of thought believes that our short term memory is 'discharged' and freed up for more information and mental work after night's sleep. In addition some experiments seem to suggest that your will power is also at it's peak when you wake. This means that you can take on challenging tasks without a heightened level of discouraging feelings and thoughts flooding in and the whole self sabotage dynamic coming in to play. You are then also able to perform task that require discipline and might be low on instant gratification. This is why it has been suggested that if you are struggling with overeating and have a poor relationship with food it would be better to eat the bulk of your food towards the end of the day when your will power is running low. In other words while you have the will power on your side, eat smaller and wait to eat bigger when you would really want to emotionally at the end of the day. </div>
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If you have to learn a new skill, do some intense studies, take on a task you are dreading and have been putting off, research a topic you've been stalling on then wake early and devote those very effective couple of hours to doing it. It will take less time, you will understand and pick up more and you will have the satisfaction of knowing you have been very productive which will crown your very day. In fact go one step further; make a habit out of it and wake up early each day and devote the first hour to some mental work for instance improving your IT skills and abilities through studying and reading and before you know it, you will be an authority/expert in the specific area.</div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>I will be away from base for a while so next post is 12th April 2014</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-91644485850785812552014-03-03T22:00:00.003+00:002014-03-03T22:02:03.811+00:00Don't get led away from your goals and your dreams in life<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">It seems that Mr Simon Cowell has finally been 'landed.'</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ok he may not be married to the woman but he is now the proud father of an infant son and it seems very clear that he will do all he needs to be in his sons life! He has taken to twitter and other media to display what is no doubt a deep genuine affection between father and new born. Insider accounts say he is besotted with the young bairn who he quite telling named Eric, after his late father. 'I have waited for you all my life' he is reported to have said at the arrival of Eric. It's lovely to see such father son affection, especially from someone like Simon Cowell who often seems incapable of loving anyone but himself. I wish him every joy in the world and it is easy to see that Eric is helping Simon plug the huge gaping hole in his heart that came about when his father died. Anyone who knows anything about Syco (yes the name of Simon's business concern), knows that Simon's father was the only man Simon strove to impress and losing his father just before his success was cemented was a very big blow to him.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Simon will now do everything to be in his son's life</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Anyway why am I giving a rundown of the history of Simon Cowell?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am writing about this intriguing story because Simon claimed for years and years to the media and to girlfriends that he wasn’t ever intending on being a father. He announced it repeatedly to all who could hear, that he was not a family man. I am certain he meant it for the time and I don’t think he really changed his mind, he just found himself expecting a baby with his paramour and she wanted to keep it and that was that. Suddenly he is enjoying fatherhood more than he ever thought he would or could and you see, that’s the thing, sometimes people genuinely don’t know what will make them happy. In life we sometimes stumble on the path that fulfills us, that’s why it is important not to close yourself off from other parts, people and situations. Sure we all specialize and focus in, as we grow older. We decide we will be a carpenter rather than a poet or a doctor rather than an electrician but if you become rigid about not letting yourself experience life beyond narrowed boundaries, you can miss out on so much that life has in store.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">So my mind goes to the girlfriends who took his disinterest in being a father seriously. I know some broke up with him over this stand, others I think sadly might have tried to go along with his no child agenda and it might have severely damaged their own abilities to have their own offspring- one particular girlfriend comes to mind when I say this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">In truth, it’s very easy to go along with another persons 'agenda' and damage your own dreams, especially if you have become attached and feel that that is the only way to hold on to them. Si Co is a powerful man, with the lifestyle to match and the networks and connections that can make life smooth and pleasant for any woman. It could be all too easy to convince yourself under these 'incentivising' circumstances that you are of the same mind as him in the matter of children. I am glad some of his girlfriend parted company with him eventually to maybe keep their dreams of children alive. Which brings me to the second point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Some of these women who moved on might look back and regret, but the truth is that their 'timelines' did not coincide with where Simon was</span><span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> at the time. This is a reality of life and you should not kick yourself if you cant get yourself on the same page as your romantic other. Don't hang about or try to make them fit with what you want to do or where you want to be. You must have the courage to move on. Even if you see that later they went and did exactly what you wanted from them but with someone else, know that it wasn’t for you and them. It’s easy to say, 'maybe if I had waited', but it is unlikely they would have 'changed' for you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">A lot of people change because of experiences and often times we act as that experience for others. Coming across us might be that catalyst for a change in some people's lives. I know men who have mistreated women and lost a good thing, learning a hard lesson on how not to treat people for their future. Some white men have let priceless black girlfriends slip out if their fingers (and vice versa) because of family, nay sayers and what have you. Having gone through that experience, they come out on the other side, vowing to never let others mess up their good thing ever again!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">So to summarize, you must not sacrifice your dream to be with someone because you will regret it. Also you have to know what you want, what your deep felt desires and dreams are because If you don’t, it is easy for someone with their own firm ideas about what they want from life to sweep you along with them and apply you and your energies to what they want to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Once you have defined what things you want out of life. Pursue it with vigor!</span> <br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next post 15th March 2014</strong></span><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<strong></strong><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-79139144831380509762014-02-06T20:42:00.001+00:002014-02-06T21:28:37.227+00:00Hunting for White Racism Hunting for and turning
over rocks to seek out evidence of white hypocrisy about race, seems to be a very
popular pastime with many black women. Each day I get dozens of
emails and articles in my inbox, on the topic of 'outing' whites as
racist, against all their protestations. The other week, I got one
saying, 'White people treat blacks different in Emergencies' or some
such title. As you can see I am more or less blasé about all this
and so cant even remember the title.
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It might seem a bit
exciting to peak into the minds of whites, to confirm what you have
always thought about them: that they are a two faced group of people,
‘they smile in your face, but stab you in the back.’ However I
think this preoccupation to expose whites is entirely time wasting.
And here's why:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why? Because I feel like showing a black woman with a seriously kicking body ...so sue me!</td></tr>
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<b>Racism is a natural
response</b></div>
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Truth is that it is
only in Western societies that we have taken very great steps towards
social engineer against a normal natural impulse in all humans.
Humans fear difference or fear the outsider who is marked different
by their appearance.</div>
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Lets use an
evolutionary model here to look at why racism is a natural response.
Let’s think back to a time when racial characteristics linked closely
to you being from a different continent and climatic condition (before the time
of large scale and modern travel). Supposing I was taking my daily stroll down by the
rift valley, just chilling, and I suddenly saw a band of foreigners
who were finally revealed to have come from far afield as China. What
do you think I would feel seeing these strange folk riding on horses
or who knows what? I am sure most of you would say I would feel
alarmed, and you are not wrong. Racial difference would mean they
came from an area that is markedly physically different to the area
from my locality. It would suggest that they have been subject to
different climatic conditions and they have a culture that has
evolved from that climatic and ecological landscape. How do I know
that they don’t have a belief system that would imperil my own life
and that of others who look like and act like me. If they came from a
harsh and unforgiving land than it could be quite easily true that
they have adopted cultural codes that match the need to survive under
those situations. Maybe they don’t like to share or in their lands,
darker skin meant the attack of a very wasting disease that could
kill in thousands. If this were the case then I could be in serious
trouble couldn’t I?</div>
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Even in a less
threatening scenario, their culture would be different and might lead
to a serious conflict around resources (maybe they come from an area
with an abundance of water and thus treat that resource differently
to how my tribe would, coming from the other point where we don’t
have much of it). There are a thousand and one ways in which we could
suddenly come into serious and even life threatening conflict as
people who come from lands which have evolved markedly different ways
of life. A shorthand way of dealing with this situation and its range
of variables which could possibly prove lethal is for humans to have
this instinct to respond with reservation to characteristics marking
people as coming from a different climatic and thus social milieu.
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<b>Racism is a problem
in all of us</b></div>
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If studies were done
for blacks as frequently as for white, we would notice no great
difference in basic responses. We are not naturally trusting of
difference, we just have had to put up with it and evolved more open
and cooperative ways of dealing with others out of necessity. Blacks
are not the socially dominant group in Western societies so it hasn’t
been a very pressing issue to analyse our attitudes in these matters.
Negative reactions in blacks are also often excused away or put down
to the fact that we are minorities and socially excluded as a group
and so these responses are a result of the evil of racism and the
racist system that surrounds us etc etc etc.</div>
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<b>Stop wasting time
fishing for and collecting articles and data on whites subliminal race aversion</b></div>
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<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
These response are
comon to all mankind and until the time when humans can engineer
their every attribute I doubt we will be able to get rid of this
response which is bedded deep in the human psyche.
</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am hoping black women
can wean themselves off the self justified feelings they get when
they read and chase down the latest report on white racist hypocrisy.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b>How to do this</b></div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Consider white folk as
mere human as we are human.</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Consider that a
reasonable focus ought to be how to avoid being at the mercy/victim
of these natural human responses to difference. You will be able to
control some of it, but you will not be able to save yourself from
ever being a victim of such race prejudging or knee-jerk, 'unevolved'
response to your racial difference. That my friend is life and what it means to be a human
being vulnerable to broader realities and plain life's happenstance. Try not
to get bent out of shape if it is not a serious issue.
Focus on surviving, fighting back and having 'options' available to
you to side step to.</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Above all, pray for
good fortune!</div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Next blog post 21st Feb</strong></span></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
<div class="western" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong></div>
<strong><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s1600/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><strong><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s200/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="125" /></strong></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</strong><br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong></div>
<strong></strong><br />
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<div class="western" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
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<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong> </div>
<strong><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong></div>
<strong></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><br /><br /><br /><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="137" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</strong><br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
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<strong> </strong></div>
<strong></strong><br />
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<strong> </strong></div>
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<strong> </strong></div>
<div class="western" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong></div>
<strong></strong><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-16689474276880546592014-01-16T21:23:00.001+00:002014-02-01T14:15:02.821+00:0012 years a slave and other thingsI am noticing more and
more black women make unconventional choices.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2PzrBUyYx4UoWCwq3WPfQlsB-e8G2dhtUCmf64vjdzqqlBn8D07z1GQ4mS6Z6r2ja_Zx51yO5HU-ULWpcPPGaXj08zDoHG9ErM8It7YnKfT1bZlyQBaoMyde66blmMD8V07ceDQ/s1600/butterfly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2PzrBUyYx4UoWCwq3WPfQlsB-e8G2dhtUCmf64vjdzqqlBn8D07z1GQ4mS6Z6r2ja_Zx51yO5HU-ULWpcPPGaXj08zDoHG9ErM8It7YnKfT1bZlyQBaoMyde66blmMD8V07ceDQ/s1600/butterfly.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Maybe not
unconventional re the rest of the world but re black women themselves
and the fact that they have largely limited their range within the
wider world and the broader context. Because of our experiencing hurt
and heartache at a time from the wider society, we pulled back from
it, but the times of comfort within black boarders has ended and what
we can observe now is that black men have been busy building links
and making contacts. They are now able to convert these links and
contacts and even broader goodwill for their betterment.
</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
If a black man is not
making it it is very likely because he has set himself against the
wider society, deciding against education, delayed gratification or
choosing to go the wrong way (bling and criminality). I say this
because most black men can now rely on the liberal left to champion
him as the victim of white men and white society and thus open up
opportunities that are even denied black women. You even see white
society frame the issue of oppression in such a skewed way that it
facilitates black men's move in society and provides a stumbling
block for black women.</div>
<br />
Speaking of framing of
the issue of oppression, I went to see the film '12 years a slave.'<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I had some misgivings
about seeing the film in part because we have talked about only
supporting films that are made by men who support black women. Of
course the issue of the lead actor of <i>12 years a slav</i>e and of
course the producer (and who knows who else in the cast), being
married interracially (and thus funnelling the money out and away
from black women) was raised about this film. However as soon as the
film was released in the UK a rash of articles appeared about it, and
one of them essentially changed my mind about not seeing it.
</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It was an article in
the Guardian written by a white female journalist acknowledging that
the film had opened her eyes (or made her admit) to the role played
by white women in brutalizing black women during slavery (the name of
the author of the article is Hadley Freeman and you can google her
article). Not only was this the first mainstream acknowledgement of
this dirty little secret that keeps being 'white washed', that I had
come across, she linked it to the resulting difficult relationships
that continue to exist between black and white women re feminism. And
the comment section warmed my heart even more because it became
evident that many folk had long since given short shrift to the
popular framing by feminists that white women were 'oppressed'
alongside black men and women by white men during slavery, or that
they had very little social power to do much more than watch the
brutality meted out impotently, or that if they victimized black
women, it was under instructions of the white slave master which they
had no choice but to carry out. My oh my here were folk commenting
(mostly white), that white women not only supported the system of
slavery because they were invested in the wealth it created for them
and their children, but that they participated in the brutality and
even egged on their 'masters' in their vile joys, just as the film
portrayed. For the first time the brutality of white women to their
black female slaves was thoroughly captured on screen so much so
people had begun to comment on this particular angle whereas before
it would have not have been in anyway delineated.
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrZC6Ceg0OwSVZ8N0tlT4CqZ3QmMutKGtDlEQaRSdzEu_AehyphenhyphenPRbe_6GGVseMQVvpDWdwWpoIeUr3y0HgeLkh6rk2lS3X9XLorNCkZYzjukV2uYvmeMebAtMZFYTKVE8bj1Yxpeg/s1600/Lupita.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrZC6Ceg0OwSVZ8N0tlT4CqZ3QmMutKGtDlEQaRSdzEu_AehyphenhyphenPRbe_6GGVseMQVvpDWdwWpoIeUr3y0HgeLkh6rk2lS3X9XLorNCkZYzjukV2uYvmeMebAtMZFYTKVE8bj1Yxpeg/s1600/Lupita.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Wow, blow me away with
a feather!
</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So I duly bought my
ticket and took my seat in a packed cinema.</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I wont give anything
away but I want to personally thank the director Steve McQueen for
brilliantly illustrating how harrowing the whole slavery thing was
for black women in particular. You cannot come away from that film
feeling black women had a jolly ride as a few folk have tried to
claim in recent times. You came away knowing that black women had it
worse. They got it from both ends and no one watching that film will
come away feeling how impossibly untenable the situation was for a
black female slave.</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the message we have been trying to get across. We have been
trying to buy black women some sympathy, at least consideration if
anything. We have been trying to shine a light on the situation for
black women which has been callously overlooked or pushed to the back
ground until it has fostered this notion that black women can come
out of anything unscathed. With one film Steve McQueen has changed
the narrative of black men suffering the worse during slavery to one
where there is a dawning realization that 'Hang on, black women
experienced the middle passage, the starvation, the fields picking
cotton and as women their sexuality was readily and easily also
exploited'! Call me a fool but I am happy for black women to get some
due sympathy at some point.</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
And there was no 'light
skin' heroine to engage the sympathies of black and white folk
(because you know we cant feel no black woman's pain unless she is
lightskinned). Light skinned women were so for a reason in the film
(to show the link between slaves children and their masters).</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
God bless Steve
McQueen! He dared to show white women there alongside the slave
mastered brutalising with physical violence, with cruel denial of
food and drink, soap, heartless disregard of the heartbreak of black
mothers grieving over their lost children and maybe worse of all
selling freed black women back into slavery!</div>
<br />
He Steve McQueen is
probably the only interracially partnered black man who consistently
pays his dues to black women, deliberately choosing to highlight dark
black women positively (in Shame the only woman Fassbender falls in
love with is a black woman, the actress Nicole Behari) or tell their
pains . So yeah props to Steve.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZL8fqFfBWOiVQRrfxn1a4ZdDPXyEw-JyGXPhSei_a5zik9Pqud5pjCv9WmoIuRB656Q-axT66nXnsO1YU5orhiu-KKlHpehPVAQ6GGIQ_dXvXRcqUqf_xU7dUrrlRBClMAUfIw/s1600/Steve+McQueen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZL8fqFfBWOiVQRrfxn1a4ZdDPXyEw-JyGXPhSei_a5zik9Pqud5pjCv9WmoIuRB656Q-axT66nXnsO1YU5orhiu-KKlHpehPVAQ6GGIQ_dXvXRcqUqf_xU7dUrrlRBClMAUfIw/s1600/Steve+McQueen.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br />
on another note this woman is 30 but looks like a darn teenager! Black don't crack for real!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCRamffifxQI8BVtTNiFZwOs3RkmpUtWUJ3cFiaMAkHsmR_Qh8qQfkyoVjRG3knVg7mdfhgxGW4wASFYDtjAs4a8rcHe_vTdWW4ffkGBjrPkF_oohsI47srNGrXH7ai7bOhjFO1w/s1600/Nyongo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCRamffifxQI8BVtTNiFZwOs3RkmpUtWUJ3cFiaMAkHsmR_Qh8qQfkyoVjRG3knVg7mdfhgxGW4wASFYDtjAs4a8rcHe_vTdWW4ffkGBjrPkF_oohsI47srNGrXH7ai7bOhjFO1w/s1600/Nyongo.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWSDl2l5bG3GYnGr_0dfQ_CsysbpDkV9gRA9Favjro8H6ObY8uY38EaLfuECGSx_G10Hdh9LMCTavqi_iKXBtG19rRCr0S96-qQPU0BhbdeXX3jeuW1J6cclCBtKsjF9Skklhoyw/s1600/Lupita.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </div>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: x-small;"><strong>Next blog post 7th Feb</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
<div class="western" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong></div>
<strong><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s1600/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><strong><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEQ45EK474Lt4SA2Kl1sOvMqUamoWpJQi1FcNjtzU_LGJ7I_JeuOuI8h_obtIegHbUqkCU9gOIO5RYW2HmYANPfHeWKNkshV8Uv7HMyR3ZGDZN3MMsEO4CiY_dFmcHDPctMavCA/s200/1st+Steps+small+size.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="125" /></strong></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<strong> </strong></div>
<strong></strong><br />
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</div>
<div class="western" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong> </div>
<strong><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2arkZRN65z5ostu_1M-YEhveNmHYNoOee0jsMKIW6lCOY7IWK9Qi1MbbjmInj5pFkY3U9v6-2lXaY7Fw-LnKMBsphrVNJPpQXfjbHoiRdSEBZ-g5n2XUYnskMlAZ-1Xh8NHpnXg/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="125" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong> </strong></div>
<strong></strong><br />
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<div class="western" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
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<br />
<strong><br /><br /><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s1600/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzmR-CsCfYLr_eiGrjN4m_moWLp5AWMKa2tu7QifSTguKv8FVg70qwo-98Wufh_7OSg52GrxcYc9KyQMwfz9RaR6f1IF9mjSLR5xKEG9K8JpyLN-2BxGw729nBpvt2WLwNZReeA/s200/Do+Black+Women+small+size3.JPEG" height="200" qba="true" width="137" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-14344327576007418632013-12-04T05:01:00.001+00:002013-12-04T05:01:12.244+00:00Halima on <...Break...><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-66997345466714696922013-11-17T23:43:00.001+00:002013-11-17T23:43:10.569+00:00What a wrong detour could costIf the wrong idea takes root in your thinking it could take you off course. <br />
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For some it could be twenty years before they come back to their senses and by the time they do, they could have lost so much time and so many lifecycle-dependent opportunities could have been lost forever. No one is going to give you an entry level job at 45, you are supposed to have placed yourself at middle management in the career path of your choice by then, that's why career changes can be very difficult at certain ages except of course you bring transferable skills with you.<br />
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The wise king Solomon said 'there is time for everything'. It is important to make sure that wrong ideas, and experimental ideas that lead most but a very few to ruin don't take root in you and equally important to look around and see what others are doing and take a kind of 'bearing' check from the activities of your age cohort. Be aware of certain things you should be doing at certain times in your life even if you do decide eventually that you do not want these things. If you hope to pursue them then make sure you are attending to them when you should. <br />
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Yes it might seem boring and conventional to trace out your life path along the same lines as the rest of humanity, you may kiss your teeth at having the same mundane choices to fulfill as your mother and grandmother before, indeed there is this push in society now for people to cast off 'structure' and just float or not commit, for many though there will be lots of regrets. Often travelling in certain sections of my metropolis, I see many older gentlemen who didn't put down roots, making a nuisance of themselves accosting women, looking for the attention they should have secured earlier on in life. But many of these men felt they would be tied down or trapped to 'commit' to their girlfriends at the time. Many found it hilarious and macho to play about with their 'gals' feelings and need for commitment. <br />
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There are too many ideas floating around in our world today that can transfix people and take them off a healthy life course. They might be in a strange place for 40 years just like the children of Israel in the wilderness, before the 'spell' is broken. You have to find a way of directing yourself aright and have some anchors to a place of sanity and commonsense, especially in this day and age where people create social theories (some just for the heck of it) and push these ideas out there for the most gullible to test it out for them.<br />
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I have argued that black women are acting at a disadvantage because there is a clear and critical component of guidance and direction that is missing for black women. Some of us are actually the first in our families to experience certain achievements or get to certain social levels therefore no one has gone before us and can show us the ropes. Parents and elders who often know less about the social terrain and how to make it work for them are in the position of guides for black women! They thus offer no insight, no principles that can form the foundation for a successful life or enable their daughters survive the hostile and predatory wider world. Often there is also the toxic dynamic where black women are structured to just be there to resource others and a specific kind of 'training' that turns black women into community mules is delivered from a young age until she becomes a person who acts against her clear interests and becomes adept at forming relationships in which she is host to parasitic others. <br />
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Some 'pyramid selling' ideas are all around you: single parenthood, careless living and not forming attachments and commitments, putting your hope in 'big' government. These ideas will fail the bulk of those who adopt them (that's why I call them pyramid selling ideas because only a few at the peak of the pyramid who embrace these ideas will come out unscathed while most who form the base will rue the day!). <br />
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Humanity has indeed evolved but not to the point where we can jettison tried and tested principles that have worked for past generations, no matter how far removed our lives seem . The principles of commonsense acting, thrift as a lifestyle and building healthy networks and connections will out last shiny modern day gadgetry.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><strong>Next blog post 1st Dec</strong></span><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br /> Date White Guys?<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br /> Date a White Guy...?<br /> Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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</strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29718807.post-35184878932191994222013-11-03T19:59:00.003+00:002013-11-14T10:15:24.131+00:00She who has much, more will be given<i><b>For whoever has
will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not
have, even what they have will be taken from them. Matthew 25:29</b></i><br />
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I used to
have a problem with this saying from the gospels. It seemed so cruel and so
unfair to me. I used to think about all those around me who didn’t
have much and how that even what they had, God would cause to be
taken away. That didn’t sound like God who was supposed to be
caring and loving especially of the downtrodden. In fact this
particular saying comes from one of Jesus famous parables; the
parable of the talents and in it God (who in the story is the talent
giver) sounded positively capitalist through and through in that
scripture, bang smack in the center of the 1% with all his talk of
giving his money to the bankers for profit. He sure wasn’t on the
side of those who wanted a redistribution of wealth!</div>
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Now for
those who don’t know this parable, it's the one where a man goes on
a journey but gives each of his stewards varying amounts of money to
trade with while he is away. On his return, the steward with the
least money has done nothing with his 'talents' and throws the money
in his face. The steward, receives not just a dressing down but some
humiliation and punishment (you can read the whole of Matthew 29 for
the full story).
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Well I have
somewhat grown up since feeling upset about unfair dealings, and there
are two things that I have learnt about that parable.</div>
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<ol>
<li>The
world system works to a capitalist imperative as it has done for
thousands of years whether we like this reality or not. You and I
have to <span style="font-weight: normal;">'make profit', show an
improvement, make returns and innovate on what we have been given or
we are just a waste of space.</span></li>
<li>The other thing is that it is you who decides whether you have more
or less (which will then be taken away)! Phew that one was a
revelation to me! It blew my mind when I realized that it wasn’t
God or another person that determined that the person who had 1
talent had less, it was him himself who decided he had less by his
actions. By not making a profit, by not trying to do something
however small and meager with the money he was given, he declared
himself to 'not have'. The giver of the talent clearly rated the talent he gave him and saw him capable of making returns on it!
</li>
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Folks
it's all a matter of perspective. If you feel that you have nothing
then you will essentially have nothing. How many of us know people
who have many blessings, blessings that the rest of us are begging to
have but they don’t rate their blessings and they cant even see it!
I know of two people in my circle of acquaintances and friends who
always complain about their plight and yet they are surrounded by
blessings and good things, the rest of us would give an arm to have.
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Many of us can testify that not using our talents and gifts means
ultimately loosing them whether this be a musical skill or a knowledge
of a computer package. If you do something with what you have however
big or small, it will yield, taking you towards abundance. Never look
down on the little you have. No doubt this steward was upset at being
given the smallest allocation to trade with, but he could have seen
it as an opportunity to be creative and innovative or even seen it as
an opportunity to do the bare minimum with the money which the master
was happy to accept.</div>
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Whatever
you have to work with be it big or small, it is your attitude to your
resource that will determine what you make of it. You might not have
loads of talents and loads of money but be assured that the race has
quite often gone in the favor of David (with his meager but critical
attributes), than the obvious bet Goliath!
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<br />
It is important that you adopt the mindset of 'I have much', no matter that you think you have little. This is because with this attitude, you put yourself on the path to getting more rather than on the path of ultimately loosing what you have. </div>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><strong>Next blog post 17 Nov</strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.</span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Steps to Personal Empowerment<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/First-Steps-Personal-Empowerment-ebook/dp/B007VDJFDW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do Black Women in Afros <br />
Date White Guys?<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Black-Women-Afros-White-ebook/dp/B007NNR8Z2/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338077159&sr=1-3"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Supposing I wanted to <br />
Date a White Guy...?<br />
Buy <a href="http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Here</span></a> or Buy at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WFWK2C"><span style="color: #0066cc;">Amazon</span></a></td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">©Halima Anderson
Author, "Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0