Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Give it up Part II
Black women must give up living their whole existence around the notion of black community. It is the whole obsession of black community; of 'living for' black community, 'surviving' the black community, 'looking out' for black community, 'uplifting' the black community, 'protecting' black community, 'fixing' the black community, working for the benefit of black community, 'fitting in' with black community, 'residing' in black community, 'seeking her needs' within black community, aggitating for black community, 'rescourcing' black community,................. that has mired the black woman in her present hardship and misery and struggle.
It is black womens' refusal to stop playing community engineer or even god with the power to create without the necessary ingredients and raw materials in place, that causes black women to be burdened, stressed, struggling, denied, ill, drained, confused and depressed.
Black women must stop ordering their lives around, even putting themselves on hold for some coming great 'revival of black people.' They must go out and get their needs met NOW and from what is obtained and obtainable in the here and now.
It is black women's insistence on 'making up for', picking up the slack and 'keeping things going meanwhile', that has entrenched the idea that black women can handle it all alone and or need to be just left to get on with it. It is black women trying to be good 'race' women, who are willing to do more than their fair share, even work alone in the trenches of the black struggle, that has enshrined the shirking of responsibility and participation among black men, so much so they now feel that 'sperm' alone is an adequate contribution for the black community 'building' effort!
Black women must abandon shop, and lay down tools to all this struggling for and on behalf of the race, when the expectation continues to be for them to do it all alone.
Only then can black women be healthy and get themselves a slice of this life of which we all have only one to live.
Get clued up about interracial dating, read the Get clued up about interracial dating, read the http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/index.htm
Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)
It is black womens' refusal to stop playing community engineer or even god with the power to create without the necessary ingredients and raw materials in place, that causes black women to be burdened, stressed, struggling, denied, ill, drained, confused and depressed.
Black women must stop ordering their lives around, even putting themselves on hold for some coming great 'revival of black people.' They must go out and get their needs met NOW and from what is obtained and obtainable in the here and now.
It is black women's insistence on 'making up for', picking up the slack and 'keeping things going meanwhile', that has entrenched the idea that black women can handle it all alone and or need to be just left to get on with it. It is black women trying to be good 'race' women, who are willing to do more than their fair share, even work alone in the trenches of the black struggle, that has enshrined the shirking of responsibility and participation among black men, so much so they now feel that 'sperm' alone is an adequate contribution for the black community 'building' effort!
Black women must abandon shop, and lay down tools to all this struggling for and on behalf of the race, when the expectation continues to be for them to do it all alone.
Only then can black women be healthy and get themselves a slice of this life of which we all have only one to live.
Get clued up about interracial dating, read the Get clued up about interracial dating, read the http://www.dateawhiteguybook.com/index.htm
Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
My thoughts on a range of things
I have been on a month long break from this blog, and my thoughts have 'piled up' over everything and anything. I am going to have to do a clearing house style post today to just share from a range of issues.
By the way, thanks to those who emailed and wished me a good one. I think some people do realise that we BWE bloggers are human with needs of rest and nuture and sustenance.
I always remember how Evia talks about sustaining those who are doing a good work, so that they will not only continue, but others will step in and take up the call. Anything rewarded continues and we all need to get into the idea that we need to appreciate those who work on our behalf and I dont mean just financially, you still have a kind word or good deed that you can share even if you dont have money (and I must say thanks again to those who have contributed financially to me and for the work I do, you will not miss your reward. Amen).
Sadly I see an abundance of arrogance among black women, with regard these issues. Some of you are very spiteful and jealous of the BWE bloggers (possibly because you think they have somehow happened upon the leadership of some 'big' movement and you envy that) and you say nasty things about them at the same time enjoy the fruits and employing the principles that they have offered up freely. I trust the 'universe' to be fair on this one, and if you repay good with evil and lift your hindleg at anyone who you have been blessed off, and if you have at anytime benefitted from the work of BWE bloggers (even if it was some nugget or the other of advice you gleaned), and yet turn round and repay them with insults, false accusations, distortions, character attacks etc, then it will not be well with you. Amen. TAIHTSAT.
A few thoughts
On the ever confused state of black women
Every other person seems to know what time it is except black women. Black women appear to be in a particular mind about things which no one else is in, or shares with them. You get black women saying things like 'well I thought we are supposed to be doing it this way' or 'I thought this is what we should be saying.' Yet no one has been doing or saying things that way for years. Black women are so obviously and painfully out of step with everyone else that even a blind person can see it. It leaves one tapping their chin wondering, how in Gods name could anyone have stayed in this isolated and marooned mentality in the midst of everyone else behaving differently? What could have kept them shelterd from reality?
This particular 'lag' in black women's perception and in their thinking on things is a constant and repeating theme.
Their general befuddled state, and the 'so what page are we on now' type confusions black women are displaying especially when the general society has stopped reading and operating from any such 'books' that black women are engrossed with, suggest that 'blocks' and 'filters' have been set on black women's minds to filter out vital information that could have gotten them 'in tune' and in mental line with what the rest of humanity is now doing. This is the kind of thing done to keep people in an exploitable state, not knowing their rights and their opportunitites. The mental marooning of black women means they continue to have their rescources accruing to others, not knowing their rights and oppotunities in the current dispensation.
Black men’s dedication to the race
Are black men dedicated to the idea of black community? Well one way to acertain this is to look at how black men have positioned themselves and responded to the critical ‘needs’ of the community in terms of black male input.
Indeed, instead of locating themselves 'in' the black household and adding to rescources and the push for black families and the black community, they have evidently chosen to locate themselves 'outside' of it (as evidenced by single parent homes headed by black women) and outside it, where they can serve their individual interests better and indeed then constantly negotiate upwards, the price for their ever marginal involvement. Operating by sheer market forces and not the higher principle of 'community outlook' clearly puts black men in the category of self-server.
Another thing that black women havent caught up about black men
Black men now see us as rivals for the attention of white peoples. Over the years, black men have begun to view black women as their rivals for the affection, attention and other attonement overtures of white people. Notice how black men talk about how 'white society props up black women at the expense of black men, notice how they come with a catalogue of their own complaints anytime black women raise the issue of their trials in wider society, to take the focus off black women and block black women from the possibility redress, indeed any redress is due black men not black women. They are also 'measuring shoulders' with black women over IR because for them, it is about 'more white people have to like us than like you,' and 'our profile and universal appeal must be higher than your'. Any wonder then that many are fighting tooth and nail against black women opening up their options, all the while with a blonde on their arm.
We have become competition with them for any rescources coming by way of white people (in their minds this is all it is about), hence the sabotage, blocking and ruining of black women's PR with white males and general disorienting of black women re their wider options etc. Think about it, this is classic competition dirty tactics. Rival is the correct sentiment for how many black men now view black women, but poor black women always the last to figure things out and still running with the belief that black men are their 'brothers'.
Black women do indeed have to learn to watch people and deduce who and what they are from their actions not from handed down definitions.
About the framing of the debate about why black women are not marrying
As you all know, another day brings another article about the singleness plight of black women. Recently I read some commentaries and articles again putting the situation down to black women 'driving off' black men (in other words, black men's desire to marry and marry black women at that remains intact and unchanged). When I finished reading the commentary, the obvious question occured to me- as it usually does these days given how black writers and intelligensia have been afflicted with a strange case of 'ignore the huge polka dot elephant in the room'. Anyway the rhetorical question arose and it was, 'I suppose the situation couldnt possibly be that black men are no longer interested in marrying black women to any great extent. No of course not, everything with black men remains the same; this includes their interest in marriage, their motivation, the women they deem worthy of marriage etc etc etc, the issue is all down to black women and their snooty faces. If they could just smile, the rates of marriage would rise faster than the stock market.
My fear is that black women have become very adept at such convulated and disengenious reasonings themselves. I have just read an article written by a black female journalist regurgitating this 'its black women's fault' -of course in nice professional language but that is the bottom line of what she is saying. It is scary because I see intelligent black women who I feel have the trained critical skills to notice how these types of discussions and debates skirt black men's involvement in the state of things. These women unquestioningly go ahead to reproduce these faulty discourse styles and ones which are bent on castigating women as themselves!
Two things are clear, the objective of these articles is damage limitation and to head off any movement away from black men given the state of things. This is indeed an attempt to pull back black women into continuing to confine their choices to black men.
Secondly, I realize that admitting certain things about what is really going on with black men, will collapse the very precept around which building black unity becomes possible ie admitting that black men are just not into marrying black women anymore and by extension building black families, would then make the whole black love/unity aggitation look ridiculous given that black men could care less. It would be like, 'Why are we even pushing for this when the vital piece is missing'. The black unity aggitators know this deep down, that admitting black men are not onboard means admitting the defeat of the whole idea and so, these aggitators (who are predominately black women), will continue to collude with other parties in to not admit the truth just to keep hope alive. Hence they will continue to issue false reasons for the situation and fake solutions and those black women who unfortunately incline their ears to their voices will continue to chase their tails on this one.
The foolish-making effect.....
I know I shouldnt be amazed at what black folk get up to but I said to a freind after reading another article trapping black women in the false dichotomy of 'black men or no men', 'This article is just like me writing a full scientific piece, about how to get your daily vitamin C from eating oranges'.
If I wrote a ten page document about Vitamin C and eating oranges, surely along the way someone would ask, 'but cant you can get vitamin C from eating Apples or Kiwis or etc..' The fact that me, the writter, wrote a ten page article without reference to any other sources of Vitamin C (which is something even a 10 year old knows) would make me an absolute moron, in everyones eyes. But not in the black community. We acknowledge these types of faulty premised 'black men or no man' articles as very valid discussions. I find the whole thing very unnerving and have started to think seriously about carrying my tin foil hat with me to any 'black meetings', so that the 'rays' of whatever idiocy inducing mind control at work doesnt take me in to.
Notice how that women who are all about up 'black unity' display amazingly low levels of intellectual abilities, when you really engage them on the issue. You get a lot of ducking and diving key issues around the possibility of this black love/unity. I used to wonder why such women would suddenly seem dumb and not be able to add 1 an 1 to get 2. Even women with PHD's and etc would suddenly start struggling over obvious issues or try to meander round critical questions about how possible this black love-unity thing is. Clearly in order to believe all this black unity tripe you have to suspend your intellect and power down your critical abilities, because thinking critically is not conducive for holding unto the 'black uplift' blind belief. Indeed you cannot use your brain too keenly if you are a 'black unity' proponent or else you would see clearly how the numbers dont add up and the fundamentals for achieving so called black unity (principally the committment of black men) dont exist to make it possible. Thus being all about black unity means you must depend on strong emotions to carry you through the inherent inconsistencies and glaring gaps of the pro-black unity position. You must switch off/down your brain activity to a level for this black unity spiel to make sense in the light of how things are. Which brings us right back to the cause of foolishness among black writers.
Get clued up about interracial dating, read the Interracial Dating E-Book
Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)
By the way, thanks to those who emailed and wished me a good one. I think some people do realise that we BWE bloggers are human with needs of rest and nuture and sustenance.
I always remember how Evia talks about sustaining those who are doing a good work, so that they will not only continue, but others will step in and take up the call. Anything rewarded continues and we all need to get into the idea that we need to appreciate those who work on our behalf and I dont mean just financially, you still have a kind word or good deed that you can share even if you dont have money (and I must say thanks again to those who have contributed financially to me and for the work I do, you will not miss your reward. Amen).
Sadly I see an abundance of arrogance among black women, with regard these issues. Some of you are very spiteful and jealous of the BWE bloggers (possibly because you think they have somehow happened upon the leadership of some 'big' movement and you envy that) and you say nasty things about them at the same time enjoy the fruits and employing the principles that they have offered up freely. I trust the 'universe' to be fair on this one, and if you repay good with evil and lift your hindleg at anyone who you have been blessed off, and if you have at anytime benefitted from the work of BWE bloggers (even if it was some nugget or the other of advice you gleaned), and yet turn round and repay them with insults, false accusations, distortions, character attacks etc, then it will not be well with you. Amen. TAIHTSAT.
A few thoughts
On the ever confused state of black women
Every other person seems to know what time it is except black women. Black women appear to be in a particular mind about things which no one else is in, or shares with them. You get black women saying things like 'well I thought we are supposed to be doing it this way' or 'I thought this is what we should be saying.' Yet no one has been doing or saying things that way for years. Black women are so obviously and painfully out of step with everyone else that even a blind person can see it. It leaves one tapping their chin wondering, how in Gods name could anyone have stayed in this isolated and marooned mentality in the midst of everyone else behaving differently? What could have kept them shelterd from reality?
This particular 'lag' in black women's perception and in their thinking on things is a constant and repeating theme.
Their general befuddled state, and the 'so what page are we on now' type confusions black women are displaying especially when the general society has stopped reading and operating from any such 'books' that black women are engrossed with, suggest that 'blocks' and 'filters' have been set on black women's minds to filter out vital information that could have gotten them 'in tune' and in mental line with what the rest of humanity is now doing. This is the kind of thing done to keep people in an exploitable state, not knowing their rights and their opportunitites. The mental marooning of black women means they continue to have their rescources accruing to others, not knowing their rights and oppotunities in the current dispensation.
Black men’s dedication to the race
Are black men dedicated to the idea of black community? Well one way to acertain this is to look at how black men have positioned themselves and responded to the critical ‘needs’ of the community in terms of black male input.
Indeed, instead of locating themselves 'in' the black household and adding to rescources and the push for black families and the black community, they have evidently chosen to locate themselves 'outside' of it (as evidenced by single parent homes headed by black women) and outside it, where they can serve their individual interests better and indeed then constantly negotiate upwards, the price for their ever marginal involvement. Operating by sheer market forces and not the higher principle of 'community outlook' clearly puts black men in the category of self-server.
Another thing that black women havent caught up about black men
Black men now see us as rivals for the attention of white peoples. Over the years, black men have begun to view black women as their rivals for the affection, attention and other attonement overtures of white people. Notice how black men talk about how 'white society props up black women at the expense of black men, notice how they come with a catalogue of their own complaints anytime black women raise the issue of their trials in wider society, to take the focus off black women and block black women from the possibility redress, indeed any redress is due black men not black women. They are also 'measuring shoulders' with black women over IR because for them, it is about 'more white people have to like us than like you,' and 'our profile and universal appeal must be higher than your'. Any wonder then that many are fighting tooth and nail against black women opening up their options, all the while with a blonde on their arm.
We have become competition with them for any rescources coming by way of white people (in their minds this is all it is about), hence the sabotage, blocking and ruining of black women's PR with white males and general disorienting of black women re their wider options etc. Think about it, this is classic competition dirty tactics. Rival is the correct sentiment for how many black men now view black women, but poor black women always the last to figure things out and still running with the belief that black men are their 'brothers'.
Black women do indeed have to learn to watch people and deduce who and what they are from their actions not from handed down definitions.
About the framing of the debate about why black women are not marrying
As you all know, another day brings another article about the singleness plight of black women. Recently I read some commentaries and articles again putting the situation down to black women 'driving off' black men (in other words, black men's desire to marry and marry black women at that remains intact and unchanged). When I finished reading the commentary, the obvious question occured to me- as it usually does these days given how black writers and intelligensia have been afflicted with a strange case of 'ignore the huge polka dot elephant in the room'. Anyway the rhetorical question arose and it was, 'I suppose the situation couldnt possibly be that black men are no longer interested in marrying black women to any great extent. No of course not, everything with black men remains the same; this includes their interest in marriage, their motivation, the women they deem worthy of marriage etc etc etc, the issue is all down to black women and their snooty faces. If they could just smile, the rates of marriage would rise faster than the stock market.
My fear is that black women have become very adept at such convulated and disengenious reasonings themselves. I have just read an article written by a black female journalist regurgitating this 'its black women's fault' -of course in nice professional language but that is the bottom line of what she is saying. It is scary because I see intelligent black women who I feel have the trained critical skills to notice how these types of discussions and debates skirt black men's involvement in the state of things. These women unquestioningly go ahead to reproduce these faulty discourse styles and ones which are bent on castigating women as themselves!
Two things are clear, the objective of these articles is damage limitation and to head off any movement away from black men given the state of things. This is indeed an attempt to pull back black women into continuing to confine their choices to black men.
Secondly, I realize that admitting certain things about what is really going on with black men, will collapse the very precept around which building black unity becomes possible ie admitting that black men are just not into marrying black women anymore and by extension building black families, would then make the whole black love/unity aggitation look ridiculous given that black men could care less. It would be like, 'Why are we even pushing for this when the vital piece is missing'. The black unity aggitators know this deep down, that admitting black men are not onboard means admitting the defeat of the whole idea and so, these aggitators (who are predominately black women), will continue to collude with other parties in to not admit the truth just to keep hope alive. Hence they will continue to issue false reasons for the situation and fake solutions and those black women who unfortunately incline their ears to their voices will continue to chase their tails on this one.
The foolish-making effect.....
I know I shouldnt be amazed at what black folk get up to but I said to a freind after reading another article trapping black women in the false dichotomy of 'black men or no men', 'This article is just like me writing a full scientific piece, about how to get your daily vitamin C from eating oranges'.
If I wrote a ten page document about Vitamin C and eating oranges, surely along the way someone would ask, 'but cant you can get vitamin C from eating Apples or Kiwis or etc..' The fact that me, the writter, wrote a ten page article without reference to any other sources of Vitamin C (which is something even a 10 year old knows) would make me an absolute moron, in everyones eyes. But not in the black community. We acknowledge these types of faulty premised 'black men or no man' articles as very valid discussions. I find the whole thing very unnerving and have started to think seriously about carrying my tin foil hat with me to any 'black meetings', so that the 'rays' of whatever idiocy inducing mind control at work doesnt take me in to.
Notice how that women who are all about up 'black unity' display amazingly low levels of intellectual abilities, when you really engage them on the issue. You get a lot of ducking and diving key issues around the possibility of this black love/unity. I used to wonder why such women would suddenly seem dumb and not be able to add 1 an 1 to get 2. Even women with PHD's and etc would suddenly start struggling over obvious issues or try to meander round critical questions about how possible this black love-unity thing is. Clearly in order to believe all this black unity tripe you have to suspend your intellect and power down your critical abilities, because thinking critically is not conducive for holding unto the 'black uplift' blind belief. Indeed you cannot use your brain too keenly if you are a 'black unity' proponent or else you would see clearly how the numbers dont add up and the fundamentals for achieving so called black unity (principally the committment of black men) dont exist to make it possible. Thus being all about black unity means you must depend on strong emotions to carry you through the inherent inconsistencies and glaring gaps of the pro-black unity position. You must switch off/down your brain activity to a level for this black unity spiel to make sense in the light of how things are. Which brings us right back to the cause of foolishness among black writers.
Get clued up about interracial dating, read the Interracial Dating E-Book
Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)