'The road black women are on now will not take them to where they want to be!'

Whatever your feelings about Interracial dating I think it is critical that black women everywhere have an ‘overview’ of their reality within society.


We have talked about how stereotypes like 'Angry Black Woman' are used effectively to shut out black women from opportunities and resources. We know about sexism and we would have learnt while sitting on our mothers lap about ‘white people’ but I am going to say again that it ‘behoves’ every single black woman to understand the lens of society’s on black woman in order to make her way within it.

Most of the times I perceive black women only operating in a ‘boxed view’ or a bubble view, in other words having an understanding about immediate dynamics around her and day to day situation, no far reaching views or overviews of her situation.


I want every black woman to mentally picture herself climbing on top of the box (instead of seeing only what is within it), to survey her situation.

One of the critical things black women should do is divide her society into inner and outer. Most black women received only instructions about how to face the ‘outer’ or wider mainstream community (read: white) and very little on the skills to navigate the internal (black) construct/community. Today I can tell you that this outer focus is the cause of many a black woman’s destruction because black women are more likely to face immediate threat from her inner community (which she lovingly looks upon as a sanctuary and haven from the harsh outer world as you can see in black poetry) than out of it and there are mechanisms to deal with outter threats while very little if any have been set up to deal with inside threats (e.g. racio-misogyny) which are not even acknowledged to begin with!

I have to also mention here that because of skin color, even a black woman who opts out of the prevailing , ideology, beliefs, norms, attitudes and behaviour even priorities of the black political construct will still be dragged into the mix simply by being black. When people who barely know you or strangers on the street make demands on your time and money etc and expect you to abide by one or the other black social convention, for the mere fact that you are black, it shows this dynamic of being drawn back into the black mix even without consenting to being a part. Don’t forget that many black people reserve the bitterest part of anger and vindictiveness for other black people and this is why many BWE advice black women to get very far away from black settings and constructs especially those with high levels of crime and anti-social behaviour because they are more likely to be the targets of any hostile activities for being black in addition to being seen as female (because of gender and the undefended/unbefreinded status of black womanhood).



In Summary

• Get on top of the box to have an ‘overview’ of your circumstances as a black woman.

• Divide your community into inner and outer sectors and understand each of them and what skills are needed to navigate each different sector because they are not the same

Ten Worst Places to Live if you are a Woman (any wonder 7 of them are black countries!)


'The road that black women are on now will not take them to where they want to be!'

We need to repeat this meme as many times as possible. There is essentially nothing that I see in the direction of the general body of black women at present that will take them to a better place in terms of their current circumstances.

I see people trying to do bits and pieces that they hope will somehow move along black womanhood but even the bits that are in the right direction e.g. academic pursuits etc, when seen in the context of the whole mix of what black women are up to at present, these are either neutralized or have a negative balance. Its like multiplying a figure or some by zero, whatever the value is high or low, a billion or one, as long as you are multiplying by zero it leads to zero so it is the zero paradigm that needs to be changed not the effort!

Indeed many black women are saying ‘lets clean this bit up, and lets just polish this side and repair this bit, and the general formula still works or is workable’.

Newsflash! A wholesale rejection of the overarching paradigm/model being used is the only way!

The key reason why all the activities and focus of black womanhood is amounting to nought is because even when black women make these advances in education or set up their own business etc etc they then try to bend to fit into the current black male specified paradigm of the black community. They try to fit into what black men are about and their advancement immediately nose dives to zero. We see so many examples of it around, a recent case was one in which a black woman ‘advancer‘ was murdered by her black husband who clearly she was trying to prop up and ‘fit‘ into her advancement mix.

We cant make it without black men= Zero

Trying desperately to fit black men into your advancement mix when they are not fitting = Zero

Black women are currently operating in a ’self sabotaging’ paradigm. Almost every instruction being issued to black women is one to drain her and keep her stymied and less than others. These instructions are about limiting her world view and her social range and keeping her in ‘servant’ girl mindset. Many black women do not even know they are in ‘servant girl’ mindset but when the net effect of your output is serving to shore up all other parties than yourself then most definitely you are in 'servant girl' paradigm.

Thus I am not thus surprised when black women are cheered on for doing something that will clearly make them pariahs to other social circles and limit their social range and make people run from them. When a black woman announces her latest 'foot shooting' endeavour she receives a standing ovation. As always it is black women who are the last to understand why people are so happy for them to make themselves persona non grata.

I have said this once before..maybe that when I want to work with any black woman and it transpires that she says, lets add black men to the solution side of this equation, I know that her project will 1) bite the dust 2) I wont be in on it with her!

As long as black women continue to want to add black men to their advancement plans or ‘want to go it with the black man’ they will continue to go down and down. You can see that the general body of black womanhood is suffering. You can see it in our young girls, in their faces, their attitudes, the fact that many of them are hiding or ashamed the features that make them black.

The only solution is to place black men/boys away from them and instil in these young black women that the average black boy is not a brother, or a comrade but a poison carrier, that will inflict them with self hatred and that their sanity and self respect is directly proportional to the decrease of black men in their social circles.

Will black elders have the courage admit this honestly. No because the well-being and sanity of black girls coems secondary to not making black men and boys feel bad about themselves.

A class of black woman who are totally 'out of it'

The self sabotaging paradigm black women are operating in is as a result as I have said of instructions pass unto them and mostly from other women (aunts, mums, peers), who are not in anyway thinking 'how does this serve to profit this black girl', but are more concerned about upholding some black propriety or symbolic attitude or activity ('black by numbers' attitude).

One scary thing I see about the immigrant mothers around me is an absolute disconnect with what the hell is going on around them in the society they live. They seem cut off from modern society in key ways, 'healthy eating and keeping fit (even knowing they are obese), green issues and recycling, laws around child protection (hence a good number are under inspection by child care agencies). Unfortunately I see many overwhlemed (single mothers or not understanding the culture and how the society works), I also see them passing on obsolete ideas to their daughters (you will find a man in church). Thus a generation of black girls are growing up without any kind of effective counsel in fact they are left to fend for themselves with no guidelines and no maps! I feel for them the little resiliant dears, trying to make the best of life, while their mothers and aunts look far off into the distance or go around bemused by everything!

I met one such girls a few weeks ago crying at the train station, she looked a whole mess, matted weave and all! I stopped to ask her what was up and it was so hard for her to even articulate what the problem was, I could sense it was something deeper than a 'forgotten key' or something that she mumbled!
 
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