How well do you know your own Psychology

and how well do you know your own body.?
After many years of observing (or simply after experiencing it year in year out it became obvious) I realize that during the cold periods I am more or less in a constant state of colds and flus. I now realize that I can have infection after infection after infection. It means I have now adapted my daily strategy to recognizing this reality for me. Previously I would be less careful about catching a cold after I had had a bout of it believing myself to be somewhat immune, now I simply make sure I am constantly defending against another infection. 

What are the little things you have discovered about the way your body works or your mind thinks that you can compile and read over again and again. I do my best mental work in the early mornings, I guess like most of humanity however it bears noting now that I am attempting to pursue some IT studies.

One of the positives of having some years behind you is that you have an understanding of yourself and of the world around you that can be converted into an advantage in how you organize and manage yourself or compete for resources with others that have less of this understanding. In a world that worships youth this advantage can sometimes be forgotten.

Tracy Ellis Ross and Father Robert Silberstein

As women we also learn to accommodate for or control our up and down moods throughout the month. As a teenage episodic sadness almost seemed like the end of the world or that there was something not right with us. I am indeed a sensitive soul but I have learnt to make peace with that reality of my personality instead of wondering why I tear up for the silliest things!

Here is a list I have recently come up with. See if you can begin to observe and note for yourself things that will help you in making yourself more efficient, saving time and preventing waste:

• If I wash my hair with Sulfur products I get an extra frizz free day
• Taking my folder of paper cuttings and reading them on my Monday train commute is the best way compile the important information that could get lost at the bottom of my draw for months
• Taking a picture of a well put together ensemble helps give me ideas on days I am searching for what to wear. I just go to my picture folders and I can suddenly put together a good outfit from seeing what I did in the past
• If I want to make it in to work on time, then I have to be out of bed and straight to the shower (not switching on my computer)
• Surfing celebrity sites before 11pm means a wasted day 
• If I east any sweets before 12pm it will mess up my food discipline for the day
• Cows milk and products made with this makes me bloated. Goat milk is a better alternative
• Waking up at 5am each day guarantees I will have a very productive day meeting my personal goals of reading, studying and self improvement
• I need to exercise for at least 2 hours a day for mental clarity and balanced emotions and a feeling of wellbeing  

Make lists (as broad as you can), about things you observe about yourself , how you feel how your body behaves and responds in various situations, and when you have compiled these take time to read it at intervals e.g once a month (when ideas occur to me I write it in the note book I carry around everyday and transfer these to my 'jotter of personal observations' at the weekend). Include various philosophies of life (and of winning), that have meaning for you or that work for you e.g 'If I take care of the little things, the big things tend to sort themselves out for me.'

Identify Goals for 2015
It's that time of year again to look at a program for the new year. What do you want to do better, shoot for or be involved in? It can be big (and thus broken then into building blocks), or it can be small and ready to launch. I was so inspired last Monday when I got on a train and there was this well made up black lady. Her makeup was dewy and blended and her eye makeup and blusher where right on! She caught the eye of many on the train. I was bleary eyed still wiping the sleep from the corners, no dearly needed foundation! I vowed then that I would spend an extra 15 mins in the morning (by waking earlier that is), to get my face done up before I leave the house. I haven't quite managed it this past week, but I am scheduling to have it sorted by Jan 1st 2015! If you have fitness goals for the new year I would suggest start them now (the beginning of advent is a good place to start) so that you will be well into them by January 1st 2015.

Next post available 30 November 2014

E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.

 

First Steps to Personal Empowerment
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Do Black Women in Afros
Date White Guys?
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Supposing I wanted to
Date a White Guy...?
Buy Here or Buy at Amazon

Do you feel like you are outside the relationship know-how loop?

What do you know about how men and women get together in your local area or your society as a whole. In the USA or UK or France but also in Wisconsin, San Francisco, Perth. In many a western country its a closed and stitched up loop from a very early stage. That is to say that men from good families and worthwhile men are usually stitched up by school age, in other words the network from which they will find a bride has already been formed by late teens. I am not saying that these men will be married by teens or twenties only that the networks from which they are likely to pick partners has mostly been formed by then. Men and women meet at college or through the extended networks of friends made at college or their friends and networks (once or twice removed). So no matter who they end up you are likely to see it drawn from this broad ingroup. By the age of 30 it seems almost like a closed loop to the outsider, yet marriage break downs, death occurs, life takes people in various directions. In addition luminous out group people (cultural creators) can gain entry into these closed and exclusive groups or gaps open up at points in these closed circles admitting anyone in especially anyone who recognises what and where the gaps are (So that answers one question of how to break into the loop of already established social circles).

What are the prevailing Zeitgeists that will aid your breaking into exclusive circles? A certain change in political atmosphere for instance could mean there is now a market for black conservatives for instance...

Also think about the members of these circles and what they could want in terms of adventure, and variety etc after all their well-ordered socially fenced off life might no longer provide them with the inspiration and excitement they seek out of life. Indeed even while others fully embrace life within the circle, some men want something different to what they are surrounded by and the predetermined path.

Philosophies of relating

What are the dominant philosophies that drive relationship formation in your area/society that could hold sway or even aid your search. In the Western world many minorities are seen as the downtrodden or the done wrong by the big bad westerner. For many of us this condescending attitude might provide us our foot into powerful social circles, and while some black women and men are happy to play and replay this role, it is not everyone’s cup of tea especially if at the end you cannot live up to a fantasy creation and play the part of the aggrieved minority on demand because you don’t feel in anyway oppressed.

There are certain philosophies that have a huge impact on how the dating game is played for instance in many parts of the western world the drive to take out all the guess work in men and women coming together, even to flatten male and female differences (This one is big when it comes to 'the approach') means that women are now expected to be as up and doing for the relationship to happen and in visible ways as men. A dominant school of thought out there suggests that we should no longer adhere to male female gender roles in getting together, thus there is way more relaxed attitude to women initiating a date with a man (after all women are liberated and say what they want and if they are not saying to men then they don't want).  

 

There are those who argue that rules of modern feminism have and seek to burst the gender-tensions that made for more exciting romantic interactions between men and women. Traditionalist women are having a hard time in this current state of affairs. For instance they complain that men make compliments and hint at a date or relationship (a role traditionally played by women) waiting for the woman herself to make the move or close the deal (a role traditionally reserved for men). As a single woman how do you survive and thrive under this new relationship regime. Can you deal? If not what is your strategy for getting what you want in a society in which these new rules hold sway?

Next post available 16th Nov 2014

E-books now available on Amazon. Please click on the corresponding links below for more info.

 

First Steps to Personal Empowerment
Amazon

 

 

 

 

Do Black Women in Afros
Date White Guys?
Amazon

 

 

 

 



Supposing I wanted to
Date a White Guy...?
Buy Here or Buy at Amazon