Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Is this Unforgivable?



Not if you are a Black woman. As black woman you must find it in your heart to pull up an excuse for the clear undeniable messages being sent about the image of the woman who is you. You must pretend you dont see it, and dont care, or that its not a big deal to you (I mean who wants to be a sexual object anyway, black women dont need to be objectified uggh!).

You must push away the cringing shame that washes over you from knowing that everybody around sees and understands what black men are saying loud and clear about black women and her unique looks, that they are in no way objects of male fantasy and can afford to be excluded from the runnings of 'desirable womanhood', they dont need to be feted and sought out as a companion when a man has arrived. You must sustain the belief that they really dont see or notice these things, its an inhouse secret among blacks only!

You must shrug off any anger that you might start to feel indeed reprimand yourself for even entertaining anger against a 'brotha' rather than 'understanding' the deeper issues and forces at work here. You must look into the issue closely to see if in someway you and we as black women contributed to this outcome. Was it our penchant for weaves perhaps that contributed to this result? Indeed if we loved and embraced our natural hair wouldn't black men do same? Therefore it must be our fault.

Whatever you do, find an excuse, shrug off your anger, suppress it, work it off by taking a long run, turn it inwards but never let yourself get angry at a black man, or abandon the notion that your loyalty must remain exclusively with them. Be happy that at least she is still a 'woman of color'.



Anyway all this stuff about beauty is not important really, black women have bigger fish to fry {sarcasm off}

Get clued up about interracial dating with the Interracial Dating E-Book

Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)

48 comments:

BWF said...

Halima girl that was your best entry yet. Seriously, that single essay has inspired me to blog again :)

As far as that "women of color" movement that some bw seem to be on, I too wonder how exactly black women benefit from the success of "women of color" actresses such as Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez and Eva Longoria? Call me crazy but its seems as though latin women are the primary benifactors of that deal! Not Asian women and certainly not black women.

Now dont get me wrong I dont have anything against the aformentioned ladies i think they're all very beautiful (especially Salma. I think Hispanic women are very pretty in general) but I have yet to hear them championing for "women of color" (latin women YES, but non- white women NO)

If black males are cold and indifferent to issues affecting black women, what the hell makes some bw think that Asian women, middle eastern women, and Latinas will be any LESS indefferent!?!?!

Somebody make me understand; because Im seriously having a hard time wrapping my brain around that one!!

Why cant we once in for all begin to look out for our OWN SELF INTERST???? Now granted Latinas, Asian women, middle eastern women, ect., have to deal with the unfair pedal stood that ww are on; but at the end of the day--- Latinas and Asian women are still a hellavua lot better off that your average black woman.

I dare anyone to argue with me otherwise.

Until I see: Books, movies, music videos, comercials, youtube clips, websites, television shows, HELL televsion **NETWORKS** and a whole **GENERE OF MUSIC** DEDICATED to assisinating the character of Asian and Latin womanhood then I might be on board with the "women of color" cause.

But until then --case closed. Its BLACK. WOMEN. FIRST.

Anyway back to Dummy... oooppps im mean "Diddy". There are some self serving black males and mammified bw out there who are making the arguement that......

"If Diddy really had issues with dark skin black women he wouldnt have had kids with one and/or pay her thousands of dollars in child support every month"

ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Fist of all just beacause a MALE has sex with you it doesnt mean that he loves you, OR EVEN PREFERS YOU!

DONT CONFUSE SEX WITH LOVE.

Males are going to sex ANY woman who is willing and ready to give it to them. You notice how Diddy hems and haws when it comes to MARRYING Kim Porter however. Do you think for a second he would have reservations about marrying a white, asian or latin woman?

We all know the answer to that one! Even the stone-cold-ride-or-die-no-man-but-a-black-man zombie knows the answer to that one!

We need to start turning our back on those who have turned their back on us. Dont support those who dont not support you. PERIOD. Until a light bulb goes off in bw heads we'll always be a TOOL for bm, and non- black womens ADVANCEMENT in society.

PioneerValleyWoman said...

And in the case of Mr. Diddy himself, it is quite clear how he sees black women. He has never married a black woman, yet he has had several children by his black female "baby mamas".

Another ironic note in response to these images you have shown here, for years he has had a theme party at his various estates: the "White Party," where guests are to dress all in white, and the decor is all white, etc.

GoldenAh said...

The flip side of this media hypocrisy includes the uproar over Disney's cartoon with the light skinned and/or white Prince and black Princess. We wouldn't hear a peep from folks if she were light skinned and he was dark.

This type of thinking only keeps black women in a lose-lose, non-reciprocal relationship prison. Continuing to demand and accept only a dark colored guy to a light colored women, has lead to the current dearth of black women in leading roles in advertising, TV, and movies. 'Cause we know a dark skinned guy isn't going to ask for a dark woman. Puddy isn't the only color struck guy around.

We've allowed the loud and belligerent women to declare their "dark men only" preferences, which leaves all of us out of the picture.

Halima said...

Hi there BWF

blog as little as you want to. Once a month is good enough. I know how tiring it is to do this thing but when I look back to how it was two years ago and how the idea of 'black female emancipation' has taken root across the board I can see we are doing something here.

You have pointed out a key thing, and that is bw understanding when they come in. we must never loose sight of the fact that even among 'WOC' we too are at a disadvantage. We must never loose sight of this.

As for the defense of diddy, thats way I added the last bit about how 'at least they are woc' because bw in their state lack of courage, will grab hold of any flotsam just so they dont have to change their minds and MOD re bm. Indeed thats how cowards operate, always lying to themselves until it is too late!

Hello PVW

yes i remember someone (his mother maybe) saying something about him thinking he was an angel hence the constant white theme about him. it just struck me how utterly confused/foolish p D is

hello goldenah

yes there is something about bw and our refusal to think intelligently about how we can improve our situation but rather to 'throw ourselves on the mercy' of others be they bm etc etc. This is again how people who feel powerless go about things.

CW said...

Oh no Halima...They don't MIND if we are angry because then we are nicely placed in that ABW (angry Black woman) package, which others use to justify their actions...What is fiercely opposed is when BW like ourselves shed light on the situation for what it is AND provide a map to the 'Underground Railroad' so to speak...When BW begin to give clear cut solutions which is not inclusive to everyone else benefit, then they get nervous...I implore all BW empowerment bloggers to NEVER.GIVE.UP!

Khadija said...

Hello there, Halima!

This was outstanding. {raised fist salute}

I co-sign what BWF said, especially:

"Until I see: Books, movies, music videos, comercials, youtube clips, websites, television shows, HELL televsion **NETWORKS** and a whole **GENERE OF MUSIC** DEDICATED to assisinating the character of Asian and Latin womanhood then I might be on board with the "women of color" cause.

But until then --case closed. Its BLACK. WOMEN. FIRST.

...We need to start turning our back on those who have turned their back on us. Dont support those who dont not support you. PERIOD. Until a light bulb goes off in bw heads we'll always be a TOOL for bm, and non- black womens ADVANCEMENT in society."


D*** right!

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

PioneerValleyWoman said...

Regarding non-black women of color ie., Latina, remember that the ones who are given the most in terms of admiration, are the ones who look white. So although they are not "white," what it really meant is that they are not Anglo, in that Anglo is seen as synonymous with "white." Instead, they are exotic: Latin, Spanish.

Something else that we must not forget, that although the Doody was associated with a Latina like Jennifer Lopez, she was not going to become his baby mama, compared to the Kim Porter and the other woman who got pregnant by him while Porter was expecting their twins.

But in some folks' minds, she was a "good" black woman, dedicated to black love and the drama so many folks see as making "black love" worthwile, but this not defined as loving herself as a woman, ie., demanding more than what the Doody was giving.

When she gave birth to her children, she was married, and to a Latino man!

lormarie said...

Anger? I think it depends on why one is angry. I'm not angry that P. Diddy promotes nonblack women in and of itself as I don't desire him (not saying anyone else does). I'm angry that black women continue to place black men as the pinnacle of manhood. AA men are free to promote what they wish while black women are not. That is what makes me angry.

Sandra77 said...

Thank you, Halima! I think back to as early as 2 years ago when seeing pictures like this would have sent me into a silent introverted tailspin of feeling unloved and unwanted. Now I look at these pictures and have no reaction - talk about freedom! If I have any reaction, it's more of akin to the old Henny Youngman joke (I know I'm dating myself) of "Take my wife -- please"! Now I realize that it is a blessing to have the wheat separated from the chaff for me - fewer DBM that healthy BW have to deal with and be damaged by and the sooner that BW realize the importance of broadening our options. Amazing how using your brain can free not only your mind but also your emotions.

laromana said...

As an AfroLatina woman I strongly disagree with how light/White looking Latinas are favored over dark/Black looking Latinas (even when their racial background is the same-eg. Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Lopez, etc.) in American society. I have faced this type of ANTI-BW discriminatory treatment all of my life. This is why I share the conviction that ALL Black women need to look out for OUR OWN best interests and DESTROY the RACIST, ANTI-BW HATE that continues to marginalize us, especially in the relationship realm.

daphne said...

Something else that we must not forget, that although the Doody was associated with a Latina like Jennifer Lopez (snip)

OK, I'm totally stealing the nickname "the Doody." I've had tears in my eyes for several minutes, laughing so hard I could barely breathe. I will credit you, PioneerValleyWoman, wherever I use the term, but use it I must. It's too good to pass up.

One of the issues I have with being lumped in Asian or Latino women - at least in the Western world - is the assumption that we've all been marginalized similarly. To my knowledge, that is not the case. I have no problem with Asian or Latino women advocating for their own causes or interests. It's not even about "my pain is bigger, deeper than yours." But I don't perceive a personal victory if they succeed, even if I MIGHT marginally benefit by accident, because I'm not Asian or Latina. For example, Asian women may be largely ignored in terms of visual and print media imagery (non-Euro looking Latinas are as well, I think). However, if I had to choose between the lesser of two evils - being ignored or consistently degraded or dehumanized or dewomanized - I'm gonna go with door #1. That's just me, though.

Halima said...

hi cw

hello there khadija

nod to pvw, lomarie, daphne and lamromana.

Bw should never be afraid of making necessary distinctions between each other, based on their real lived experinces, it doesnt mean that we dont support each other or will not work together.

those of us who recognise and live out dark skin discrimination should acknowlege this. as I said, bw are for bw and should be so but this does not translate into putting a lid on our differences or refusing to be nuanced about our experinces.

here were i live bw are fast being replaced by biracial and lighter blacks and they cant articulate their situations and how they face rejection from castings, modelling and any image intensive positions.

this is because we have insisted that we need to project an 'we are all sisters' impression, as a result, those who will readily treat us differently can do so quite freely and unchallenged, enabled by our code of silence.

There is nothing wrong in acknowledging that though we fight together in this battke, some of us will still have far to go before we lay down.

Khadija said...

PioneerValleyWoman said, "the Doody"

{gales of laughter}

3 z-formation finger snaps for PioneerValleyWoman! That was priceless!

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

PioneerValleyWoman said...

daphne said...
Something else that we must not forget, that although the Doody was associated with a Latina like Jennifer Lopez (snip)

OK, I'm totally stealing the nickname "the Doody." I've had tears in my eyes for several minutes, laughing so hard I could barely breathe. I will credit you, PioneerValleyWoman, wherever I use the term, but use it I must. It's too good to pass up.

My reply:

You're more than welcome! I was thinking "Doody" as in "Howdy Doody," an old television character from a long time ago...a buffoonish puppet, etc.

ValeriesWorld said...

P Diddy is not a decent man, and no decent woman should have anything to do with them. Black women have to realise that they were fearfully and wonderfully made. We are very beautiful women and we have to have alliances with men who want to cherish, honour and marry us. P Diddy has no intention of marrying a black woman, Kim Porter was happy to be his mistress, because she doesn't think she can do any better, and he is a rich black man and that is the mindset of her and many others like her. They sit and wait for the black man to do something for them and when he is going off with Miss Latina, Miss Arab or other non-black women, they get upset, get angry and wail and accuse Miss Non Black for stealing 'our man' but he was never ours in the first place. We need to change our mindset, we have to think like God and what God would want for us, abundance, riches, prosperity in all aspect of our lives including wonderful husbands of whatever nationality. God has no favours. We have remember Moses and Zipporah, King David and Bathsheba, King Soloman and Queen of Sheba, Queen Dido and Prince Anais of Greek, men of different nationality and power always waited and have married us. D Piddy is a clever man with money, but he is not decent one and we have to maintain we want decent men for our daughters not the likes of P Diddy and the others. So bless them and let them go. His adverts have no effect whatsoever on me. God is showing us, mixed race black men like Barack Obama and non-black men are the only ones who can put you as a black woman in the driving seat. Hence Disney is not wrong showing the first African princess Tiana, with Prince Naveen, they are only reflecting what is happening in real life. Speak the truth and shame the Devil, that is what folks are getting upset. Black women have been the back bone of their communities when men of quality takes them, the hangers on are left to fend for themselves and she who was too dark to have any prospects from black men, she is no longer available and is living in her mansion with her husband and children. Lots of folks are left out in the cold and it is cheap takeaways until they die and they have to live with their mothers and their mothers don't want them anymore.

Selena said...

Of all the talk about this particular story this is the most creative and truthful truth yet.

Halima keep doing what you do for you are truly an inspiration!!

Phantom Mare said...

Shalom ladies, I am on a break at this point.

I just want to give kudos to you Halima for your post, very insightful indeed. (Excellent!)

Valerie: Your comments ARE ON POINT!!! Love it.

My personal update: Doing extremely well,I am getting an 'A' so far and my instructor says I look GREAT on film...I plan to take it further. :o))) I am still writing my sci-fi/adverture/romance novel-that I am now realizing is going to turn into a series (I now have some connections in the publishing industry and it has been suggested that could do some screenwriting with the story I have) and I have just started writing song lyrics too. Been truly busy. There are somethings that have been told to me- good things- but I will keep a lid on it for now. *wink*

When you want things done right(the right image and placing people in roles that SHOULD have that chance), sometimes you have to do it yourself......I will leave it at that. *grinning*

Miss Mare

Halima said...

hi phantom, i am so glad you dropped by. i 've been looking for you woman!

and i dropped by your blog just yesterday.

so glad you got it going on, indeed, thats what I like to hear; bw doing things and going places.

And as the thief said to Jesus on the cross, 'Remember us when you come into your glory'.

Very fitting for this time dont ya think!

Taylor-Sara said...

Hey Halima.
Great post! I think it's definitely unforgivable. The fact that he KNOWS he's hurting so many young, vulnerable bgs is what is unforgivable to me. And to think this man considers himself a role model!!! Yet he blantantly disrespects, ignores, and devalues the women of his race by virtue of his songs, ads, and personal life, all while considering himself to be a role model! And he has little girls! What msg is he sending them_-you're only good enough to be some man's back ground, bed warmer, never his out in front, shown off to the world- wife.....
I agree with whomever said that we need to boycott and turn our backs on those who disrespect and turn their backs on us. And BTW ladies, 70% of the wealth in the black community COMES FROM THE WOMEN!!! We can shut ppl's careers down-anytime we make a concerted effort to do so.....

Anonymous said...

BWF, I 100% CO-SIGN with everything you said. Forget that "Women of color" crap. We need to represent for BLACK WOMEN, PERIOD.

To be perfectly honest, I have ALWAYS been suspicious of that whole "Women of color" crap because frankly it seemes like a scheme some Black man came up with so he could "Get sum a dat hot Latina, Asian, and Mid-east A--" under some kind of cloak of solidarity to shut "Da sistas" up!

Anonymous said...

I really wish some people on these BW empowerment/ir dating blogs would STOP critisizing our unenlightened sistas when they talk about Black men being stolen from them. Look, whether you agree with it or not, A LOT of Black women (As well as people of other races as well as these Black men themselves) look at the opposite sex in their respective races as theirs. Like it or not, that is a fact of life. Don't single Black women out for feeling that way, don't try to make them seem foolish, or stupid for it either. After all, what race have you heard of where one gender actually LIKES to see the opposite gender of their race reect them and wholsale date out?


Racial loyalty is a big part of the pysche of MANY Black women. Deal with it, instead of mocking them.

Jamdown said...

P Diddly has always been a jerk. Nothing he does surprises me. Why anyone would consider him a role model is beyond my understanding.

If he likes/prefers light skinned or latino women, that's his concern. Black women will just have to move on.

Like Evia always says: reciprocity is key to BWs survival. Support those who support us - keep away from those who are trying to bring us down.

Black men have choices - so do we. Let's start exercising our options!

Phantom Mare said...

Hey Halima,

Thanks, at some point I will start posting again, I do have plenty to say. And yes, I will not leave others behind. :o)))

As far as the 'women of color'situation. I have no problem with other women going after what is right and I would encourage it. But *I* can not fight for them based upon the fact that *I* am not them and I do not know all of the nuances of being, latina, asian,or some other background. I do see that there is injustice but I have to look out for 'my family' before I am able to see to any one else...I am too busy trying to uplift my own sisters and their image to put my energies into others. Not trying to sound selfish but it is life. I don't recall others trying to put energy into BW, maybe someone else does but not me personally. Other women KNOW who they are and what THEIR history is and WHAT THEIR beauty standards are, WHERE THEY came from and where they ARE GOING. Many BW on the other don't know JACK because they have been fed bull crap lies about themselves. (ya hear me??) As Evia quoted Khadijah sometime ago...stop giving away your crown. On my blog I have a pic of a crown...it is time to stop wasting energy where it doesn't belong and SNATCH your crown back---you may have to do some battling to get it but atleast some action to do so. That crown/headress BELONGS to someone who is in the first civilization after the flood and it belonged to YOUR dark faces, look at that golden crown it should resonate with you....get it back!!! Do not delay!!

Phantom Mare said...

Just wanted to add....then I must head off.

From what I have taken note of....no other woman has the biggest amount of lies towards them as BW. BW have been looked upon as the ugly, naked, butt in the dirt, lip plated, "click-talkin'", bald-headed, no cultured, no language, no make-up, non-readin', stanky, no teeth, all pregnant with big belly women!

As some one said, I'd rather be ignored.

Other women of other backgrounds have benefied from these lies as now the cultures discussed are attributed with cultural traits/history that actually BELONG TO BW!!

I don't need to go further we AAALLLL know what I mean. So it is another reason why I fight for mine first (cleaning your own house before being able to clean others.)

It is sometimes difficult to see YOUR crown that you KNOW belongs to you on the some other woman's head and then say...hey! I fight for you, but meanwhile is relectant to *give* you your crown back. Ladies we are the ones giving it up....and I think we need to stop it!!!

Anonymous said...

Phantom, the crown was taken from us (As an example, can anyone remember rap song "Roxanne, Roxanne" from 1985? See who the girl playing "Roxanne" was in the video then come talk to me) before we "Gave" it away. What sista wanted to actually "Give" her crown away before she was told she HAS to do that in order to stay in the good graces of black men?

Anonymous said...

Men like "Puff of Smoke" or Puffy has never been attractive to me.

Yes, he looks attractive. But, he does not have good moral values.

LOL...just wait until his beautiful and dark skinned daughter begins to date. Catch back is a "mother."

cameronsharpe said...

People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is

Anonymous said...

Black women will never be appreciated by Black men, so the best thing is to leave and never look back. Never mind any, "They will realize how special we are" scenarios. What they will miss is the opportunity to use Black women for any and everything. Well too bad say I! Let them stay with their non-Black women since they are so damned perfect!

sanderosa said...

“Racial loyalty is a big part of the pysche of MANY Black women. Deal with it, instead of mocking them.”

The black woman is a BIG dummy because racial loyalty is NOT part of the black man’s psyche. The black man marries and has children with the non-black woman… He enthusiastically supports her financially and emotionally…the black woman doesn’t have the black man’s paycheck, balls, or a wedding ring – that means the bw is less than nothing to a black man… if a black man could have three wives, the black woman wouldn’t even make the bronze metal… when it comes time for marriage and relationships the black woman isn’t even a last resort – the black man does not need a bw for squat. While the black woman is out there looking idiotic picketing for the black man’s civil right to mate with non-black women, he’s at home in bed with his non-black woman watching the bw looking like a moron on tv … the black man is living for himself and for his non-black woman only – his life is set.

The vast majority of black men have NOT chosen the black woman for the role of wife and lifetime companion – he has found the non-black woman to be a satisfying substitute…therefore the black woman’s loyalty is of no practical value or meaning – the result of being loyal to the black race for the black woman is gray hair and stale ovaries.

So a black woman’s only hope is in the crappy leftovers – the ones that need to be sprayed out of existence with a can of Raid??? So black women are supposed to count on getting with the trash heap – The ones who remind you how good it is to be single???

Racial loyalty counts for NOTHING - all the black man can think about is how to please the non-black woman and how can devote his life to her…

The black man passionately spends ALL his resources on the non-black woman and in keeping her happy – what is left for the black woman for all the loyalty she has given? Absolutely nothing…as usual…and the black woman continues wait on the black man with no reward whatsoever...looking like a fool…as usual…

PioneerValleyWoman said...

Anon:

A LOT of Black women (As well as people of other races as well as these Black men themselves) look at the opposite sex in their respective races as theirs. Like it or not, that is a fact of life. Don't single Black women out for feeling that way, don't try to make them seem foolish, or stupid for it either.

My reply:

Black women used to have the right to think of black men as theirs when larger proportions of black men and women were married to each other.

But now, smaller numbers of black people are married, the numbers of black men dating and marrying out are greater than the numbers of black women who do so, and most black children are born out of wedlock.

With the statistics the way they are now, to claim that black people have claims on each other flies in the face of reality.

Anonymous said...

What is truly unforgivable is any black woman spending her hard earned money on his skunk Pi$$.

Anonymous said...

sanderosa, I get your points, and of course they are all true. The only think I disagree with is your need to call the Black woman a fool and other names. You know something, I think it would be better to call our unenlightened sisters MISGUIDED and BRAINWASHED rather than simply fools. After all, the Black woman is only doing what comes natuarally to her, be loyal to the men in her race, It is NOT her fault that the Black man is a DISLOYAL RAT too obsessed with himself and non-Black women to care or appreciate it.

Save the insults and venom for the Black men, not our unenlightened sisters. There is nothing wrong with racial loyalty, what IS wrong is not appreciating it.

Anonymous said...

PVwoman, you don't understand. Black women have a right to still make a claim on Black men because for the most part, they are still loyal to them and date ONLY them. However, HOW can Black men presume to do the same (As they most certainly do) when it is THEY who have made it clear that racial loyalty means NOTHING to them and they will date/marry as many non-Black women as they please? When are people going to understand that Black women dating interracially and Black men dating interracialy are NOT mirror images of each other? Black men do it out of a REJECTION of Black females. Black women do it more often than not simply because they have NO CHOICE if they do not want to be single.

Anonymous said...

Diddy is no better, and no worse, than a white man. Why? What do white men hold up as the eptiome of beauty? They worship light, blond women. For the few white men who go outside the box, they hold up Asians or Latinos.

Katrina said...

Why are we talking about P Diddy anyways? I wonder if he would spit on me if he saw me on the streets - with my dark-brown self! LOL.

Anonymous said...

Anon, EXCUSE ME, but unlike those White men you name Sean Combs is BLACK. You cannot compare White men preferring their NATURAL counterparts to that fool preferring women who are OUTSIDE OF HIS RACE. White men DO NOT have Black mothers, therefore, they owe Black women nothing. Black men DO have Black mothers, so they DO owe Black women some kind of loyalty, especially since Black women show them SO MUCH loyalty! As for White men preferring Latinas. Well Latinas are part-White, so that explains that. I know SOME Latinas are also part-Black, but not nearly as much as they are part-White, and still even the Latinas mixed with Black (Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, and Cubans for the most part) still look considerably different than Black women, whereas part-White Latinas do not look so different from their White counterparts.

Anonymous said...

Katrina, that's not funny, and I bet that piece of garbage Diddy would do just that.

BWF said...

Black women do it more often than not simply because they have NO CHOICE if they do not want to be single.

___________________

Since when did you become the spokesperson for ***ALL*** black women!?!? You need to speak for yourself.

I find white and latin men more attractive then black men.

I make no apologies for my preferences either.

have your pity party somewhere else................ said...

Diddy is no better, and no worse, than a white man. Why? What do white men hold up as the eptiome of beauty? They worship light, blond women. For the few white men who go outside the box, they hold up Asians or Latinos.


.......


Damn maybe you should become a lesbian since NO race of man can do right by bw ((roll eyes))

PioneerValleyWoman said...

Anonymous said...

PVwoman, you don't understand. Black women have a right to still make a claim on Black men because for the most part, they are still loyal to them and date ONLY them. However, HOW can Black men presume to do the same (As they most certainly do) when it is THEY who have made it clear that racial loyalty means NOTHING to them and they will date/marry as many non-Black women as they please?

My reply:

But the problem is that no matter how much black women might believe they have claims and try to assert them, there are many black men who make it clear black do not hae that right.

And what is the end result? Black men laughing in their faces and feeling trumped up when black women howl and wail their misery and pain, crying for the brothers to "come home."

This wailing and making claims has been the strategy black women have been pursuing for the past 40+ years as the number of black men/non-black women relationships have continued to rise.

Where has it got them? Nowhere. the men don't feel guilty and they have no intention of "coming home."

Miss Pinky said...

BWF said:
"Since when did you become the spokesperson for ***ALL*** black women!?!? You need to speak for yourself.

I find white and latin men more attractive then black men.

I make no apologies for my preferences either."

___________________________________

co-sign 100%

Anonymous said...

BWF, why are you coming at me like that? If you actually prefer/think White and Latino men are more attractive, fine. But can you just acknowledge 2 points?

1. Most Black women do NOT agree with you/share your tastes in men.

2. Most White and Latino men prefer their OWN women.

It has nothing to do with being the spokeswoman for all Black women. It is a simple fact of me KNOWING my sistas.

Anonymous said...

PVwoman, you are making valid and true points, but the thing is, how do we get more sistas to open their eyes to the fact that Black men do not love them? The facts are that in 2009, most Black women still prefer Black men. This angers and disgusts me, but what do we do about it?

BWF said...

BWF, why are you coming at me like that? If you actually prefer/think White and Latino men are more attractive, fine. But can you just acknowledge 2 points?

1. Most Black women do NOT agree with you/share your tastes in men.

2. Most White and Latino men prefer their OWN women.

It has nothing to do with being the spokeswoman for all Black women. It is a simple fact of me KNOWING my sistas.


_________________________


1st of all im not your "sista". Your not kin to me... I dont know you from a can of paint. Sir/ Ma'am

2nd of all Im "coming at you like that" because you seem hell bent on being a mouth piece for all bw. Claiming that the only, possible way that **ALL** bw can ever be attracted to a non-black man is because we "cant find good bm" (**you didnt say this verbatim, however this is the gist of your argument**) and that conclusion is bullsh*t-- plain and simple.

The sun don't rise and set on no black man. ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!? And for you to suggest that it does is COMPLETELY and UTERLY laughable... Its effing histerical!!!!

As far as that "white and latinos prefer their own women" comment... that remark just lets me know that your a insecure, jealous black guy whose trying desprately to keep black women in a box. So keep telling yourself that. Whatever keeps you from "acting out" ;)

But I have to burst your bubble... Whenever I go out, travel, attend functions, ect., I NEVER... EVER have a problem attracting this group of men. What can I say? They just flock to me :) So your lies, deceit and maniupalation aren't going to work here. Now go mind f*ck someone else... "brother"

Anonymous said...

All this "we really want our own kind" stuff is tiresome. So what's your real point? Nobody here really agrees with that, so why keep pressing that point? As most who study genetics could tell you, there's great strength in genetic diversity. A people who isolate themselves, and reproduce only among those who look exactly like they do, are much more likely to become weakened over successive generations. Look at some island populations for example. Besides, especially in America, who of us is "pure"? So, again, I wonder what motivates someone to cling to that "whites only really want whites" or "nuthin' but a black man" ideology? INDOCTRINATION. Additionally, that mindset lends itself well to "my race is superior" rationalization, as well as explaining P Did and C Rock.

PioneerValleyWoman said...

Anonymous said...
PVwoman, you are making valid and true points, but the thing is, how do we get more sistas to open their eyes to the fact that Black men do not love them? The facts are that in 2009, most Black women still prefer Black men. This angers and disgusts me, but what do we do about it?

My reply:

What more can be done than what is being done by the bloggers?

Pass the word on to individual women you know, using the logic we have been speaking about here.

At the end of the day, there is a saying, "You can bring a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink..."

If women don't want to open up their eyes, there is nothing you can do to save them: each woman must save herself.

LorMarie said...

I find white and latin men more attractive then black men.

I make no apologies for my preferences either."--BWF

___________________________________

co-sign 100%--Ms. Pinky

co-sign 300% Especially latin men. As I stated on my blog, if you want to see the most physically attractive men on the planet, watch Spanish Soap Operas. Even if most don't prefer me, that has nothing to do with admitting who is more attractive in my eyes.

Black men generally just don't appeal to me as far as looks and sex appeal are concerned.

Anonymous said...

Chuuuuuuch! Very very good read you are very astute and intelligent!