Monday, June 22, 2009

Black media as Mindguards


...........................Genius leaves the building...........................



Now some of you are worried about the demise of black magazines and periodicals, paricularly as a few well known ones have announced that they are on the brink. We have indeed lost a few in recent months, I know that a black newspaper round my neck of the woods recently went into adminstration as they say.

However unlike many of you I actually celebrate the passing of a number of black publications. I wish that a few more would crumble.

'Why?' you ask. Well because for over a decade now, many of these publications have set themselves up as 'mind guards', preventing and disallowing necessary and even critical understanding of what ails us particularly us as black women. These newspapers and magazines would rather push a lie that B is the problem when it is plain to see that A is the critical issue that needs to be addressed. I have talked about how they keep us locked in old conversations here or of my particular experience with a black editor, who guaging the 'liberating' effect of what I was reasoning for black women, decided to ensure their 'fetters' remained firmly in place by ignoring the discussion for something less threatening to the status quo.

Yes it remains important for these folks that black women continue operating in the belief that they have to scramble for black men. You see, many if not most of these magazines are diametrically opposed to our real freedom as black women, so they suppress any information (or doctor them and take away their potency) that would cause eyes to open and cause black women to reach for all they can have. Indeed these folks that are loudly lamenting about how whites are denying them opportuntities and vital information are the same one, only too happy to set limits on the minds of their fellow black people. How they can live with the sheer hypocricy is shocking to me. Indeed some of you are talking about white folks hiding critical information from black people, well I tell you now, that they can be taught a thing or two by the master obscurants that are the black media!

It is black newspapers and magazines that dig past glaring and obvious problems for some manufactured or non-critical side issues which they send black women after. The result is confusion, with many folks doubting and afraid to voice pure and simple and effective comonsense solutions around the issues afflicting black folk because an atmosphere has been created, where comonsense is no longer seen as such.

They have also spread this disengenious way of approaching issues in the 'Black community', so that today, you can actually have seminars and conventions where black issues are discussed and there is deliberate meandering round the the huge elephant in the room and people go home feeling valid dialogue has taken place. Not just that, these 'avoidance discourses' are now the dialogue style of choice for the majority who have become practiced in chasing after imaginary or statistically insignificant problems than face squarely the key issues that are staring us in the face. Yep the big elephant goes undressed while the focus becomes some imaginery or side issue at best.

(too bad I couldnt get an all black version of this picture)

So why would I want such publications to continue to exist.

So called black media have become stepped in and characterized by blatant disengeniousness and feigning ignorance of the real issue, skirting real solutions for non solutions, refusal to highlight real solutions because they fall outside endorsed black activities, solutions and parameters. These rags have serenaded black women in the face of danger and have sold false hope and false security that has kept many black women sitting ducks. They have betrayed the trust of black women who depend on these journals to tell them the truth about what is really going on around them. The best thing these magazines have done is provide a place for black women to complain and blow off steam and then get back to drudgery. They deem this as 'doing something concrete'. On their watch, Aids became a epidemic without check among black women, singleness soared and no real suggestions on a solution is forth coming from them. Catastrophic failure I would say!

So tell me again, why I would want such publications to continue to exist.

And so there was an article in Roots about black women learning from Michelle. Same ol formula; black women are the ones always in need of some adjustment or other, while black men somehow magically remain untouched while living within the same conditions that result in black women needing corrective adjustments. It is indeed amazing isnt it, how black women's character seems to have undergone change but magically black men remain unaltered and unaffected by the same situations that have left black women in need of major preaching and attitude 'adjustment,' well according to these articles that is.

It is clear that many of these publications do not give black women the credit of having complete brains, either that or they feel they can bait and toy with black women without repercussion at this point. I know communtities that would reward such constant disengenuos commentary with 'survival threatening' subscription cancellation.

Yes, this is all deliberate, this is deliberate substituiting of the clear and apparent causes for some drummed up issue. Indeed if these editors and writers can get black women to think that maybe the reason why there is high singleness among their ranks, is because of the 2% of black women who reject nerds, then maybe they can keep them jogging on the spot long enough for some change in winds to headoff the inevitable broadening of black women's relationship search beyond just black men.

Remember this is the objective. This is about sending black women on a wild-goose chase, a stalling tactic keeping black women back from focussing on the real causes and thus from realizing the need to find solutions beyond just black men(clearly the next step open to those serious about relationships and marriage). Yep, this is about at least holding them back long enough in hope that a change will somehow 'magically' occur to prevent them resorting to non-black options.

So indeed, why should these magazines (online and off) that are playing cruel games on black women, continue to enjoy our patronage. This is simply paying to be insulted. I would much rather let these magazines fade away, so that those that have solutions and are willing to honestly deal with black women's issues have a chance to emerge. We need 'truth telling' magazines and newspapers. Being black is just not going to cut it anymore.

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Monday, June 15, 2009

In love with being downtrodden

Black women are downtrodden
Black women are despised
Every theory there is, shows that we are the lowest of the low, so what’s the use in trying to get a relationship


Possibly in all our the history in the West, black women have never been so without hope. So many are melancholic even depressed about the situation, and they are this way with myriads of opportunities around them. Well many don’t seem to think so, apparently.

Listen to black women talk, and you will pick up this sense of ‘there is no use.’ And with them thinking this way, you can be sure that they will never fire their creative synapsis to ensure they do get themselves out of their dire situation. Indeed the ‘can do‘ and ‘go getting‘ part of their brains shut down with such pessimism.

‘The statistics prove that no one wants us and there is no use in trying’

Some black women are angry at those of us who say there are opportunities to be had. They say this is giving out false hope. Many are now perversely reveling in being the underdog and the down throdden. It seems that ’low and down’ has become a key part of their identity and one which they jealously guard and hold in a death-grip. In fact some are so comfortable with discussions of black women’s ‘low status‘, they sigh with great relief to see articles and discussions highlighting this. Like a good old friend, they see it and say, ’where have you been’, ’we’ve been getting pretty uncomfortable with all this optimistic talk’.

Black women, we do love jeremiads, and of course resist any message of hope or optimism, in fact many black women are resentful of those who want to pull the plug on pity parties.

I was once involved in a discussion where a group of black women staged a virtual walkout because others refused to accept that it was all so totally bleak and desolate for black women in the dating arena. They took great offence at what they said was ‘people trying to deny them their voice' even when these people were only sharing from their own real life experiences, experiences which did not reflect the ‘gloom and doom' these women insisted was the only legitimate reality of black women. They wanted to glory in being despised and recjected, it was too much to bear that they were not allowed to roll in the mud of their rejection and call attention to their pitiable plight among other women.

In the future there will be reasons for lines of seperation among black women and one of these reasons will be that we notice this need in some to dwell on and indeed 'exult' in their lowly position. Now dont get me wrong here, I dont mean that we should not recognize the challenges that black women face in society, I mean that for some of us, we love to focus on this purely (and to jolly in it) without a mind to finding a solution. Some of you will need to seperate out from those who love to highight and talk about how forlorn we are as women. Yep we will distinguish ourselves from them just as we have seen a need to seperate from black women who enslave themselves to black men and their interests.

I want to point out that all this pessimism and disbelief has a lot to do with the fact that for years we have sacrificed our self-esteem and anything that could have improved our self-esteem, on the altar of service to black men. Along the way, black women embraced a self-denying service to their idol black men and the results are with us now.

We decided that an eroded self-esteem for black women would serve to shore up the masculinity of black men. We decided that we would sacrifice any suggestion of our wider appeal to other men, for the sake of inflating the black male ego, which we deemed as suffering under racism. Well guess what, we have been massively succesful, their egos are now grotesquely inflated and out of control. Now some of you cant say nothing to black men that they will 'hear'. Each day brings new demands for catering, coddling and more sacrifices and adoration.

Indeed, black women refused to allow themselves to acknowledge their ‘wider appeal’ for the sake of making black men less threatened and utterly sure of their superior masculinity (which held ‘their’ women utterly captive). We joined in spreading lies and fables about how black masculinity is superiority to that of all other men.

The thing that confounds me is the shock some women are now exhibiting that black male egos are out of control, I mean, how did you all think you could continue to exalt them and bow down to them figurately speaking and their heads would not swell and they become out of control? I guess this is the 'suspended comonsense' black thinking in action again.

Black women made to feel guilty, decided that they owed black males a depreciated sense of their own feminine appeal. The result is that now even they are convinced in the lie that we as black women have no widely appealing feminine attributes and that even to get black men to appreciate us, we must remind them of their race duty and obligation to be with us. Such indignity!!

Many black women do secretly wonder how the creator could have got it so wrong as to design a female who would have no female appeal. Trust me, this is the sentiment, despite the protestation that they have never been in doubt that black women attract men, and the citing white men’s actions during slavery as proof.

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Speaking about the plight of black women, while studying physics in high school, I remember being told, how that at one point in a room that was full of sound, all sound cancels itself out. I am still trying to come up with the term for this phenomenum, but it was so fascinating to imagine that at one spot, even in a heavy metal concert, there is absolute silence. Wow!

The fact is that the net effect of forces and factors operating in any give locality equals zero at one point. Black women need to look at the world like that, and realise that there are always gaps, footholds and opportunities even in a system that seems without weakness (and lord knows any oppressive system desgined by humans has multiple points of weakness). Always look out for gaps in the system (that many feel are so heavily weighed against us), with a foothold you can go ahead to change a whole system. Optimists will always see and take hold of the opppotunities around, so in essence, this is a mentality issue!

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On another note, I have noticed that some black women have a desperate need to get at white males, to get our hands round their necks and sink claws into their jugulars when a chance arises. When there are conversations and discussions which race comes up and there is a clear shot to be taken at white men, they go for it like a missle! Indeed black women can be all about reconciliation and interracial dating etc, but a little opening appears to aim at white men and they just cant help themselves.

What’s up with that?

Do you know that we black females are the only group of people prepped to ‘self-sabotage’ our interracial options with our continuous racial resentment? Some of you need to realise this and begin to reign in your white male bloodlust. Folks are laughing at you not with you!



Get clued up about interracial dating, read the Interracial Dating E-Book

Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

'I think you glorify white men and make them out as saviours'

Gloria and the late TRex




Would you not say you lift white men up as saviours?

I would say that that speaks more to the fact that the person making such a comment, has been carefully trained to see any positive discussion of white men as worship. You see, when people have been indoctrinated to dwell on the evils of white men and never see or say anything good about them, then even speaking of them in the most nuetral of terms, brings on charges of ‘white worship’.

We cannot deny the following:

White men are the largest group of men available to women in the western hemisphere therefore it is logical that they be the main focus of any attempts of black women to expand their traditional dating options.

White men at present ‘recommend’ themselves in terms of a range of social indicators. Pointing out their positive scorings on these indicators is not worshipping it is simply noting the facts.

White men occupy a negative position in the overall black narrative, pointing out the positives of white men or pointing out that there are ‘created’ myths about white men in black narratives particularly aimed at keeping black women negative about them, is not worshipping, rather it is actually balancing out an unfair and negative picture that works more to the detriment of black women.


I repeat, we (particularly black women), have been carefully taught that saying anything even slightly positive about white men, is tantamount to worship. In the mindset of ‘white men are so evil and the source of everything evil', even acknowledging a white man's good golf swing amounts to ultimate worship. This is the kind of perceptional calibration we are dealing with.

The instructions for black women are clear, ‘See nothing good in white men’, ‘Only see and talk on the evil and negative in the actions of white men’, ‘If you observe any good in a white man then that means you are in alignment with white supremacy‘.

Women who obey these injunctions are the ones who have such a knee jerk reaction to anyone saying anything slightly positive about a white male. They rush to annihilate any black woman who didn’t get the memo about how they ought to be speaking about white males.

In addition, in popular black discourses and narratives, you sense that just like a see-saw, the elevating of black men has been carefully tied and secured to the downing of white men.



So up white man (or anything interpreted as upping white man) automatically means downing black man. And this is the notion that black people are responding to when they ‘knee-jerk’ into accusing others of worshipping white men.

We must not forget also how black women are expected not to mention their positive experiences with white men, and how this is seen as doing white male obeisance. If black women want to talk about their real and positive experiences here, they feel compelled to doctor their statements to show they are not saying that all white men are wonderful, yet anyone with a smatering of comonsense should already know that this is not what is being said. Why then do black women feel a need to qualify and make certain of things which should be comonsense?

Many black women take pains to down play any white-male positive comments or introduce a range of caveats or weave round and round just to make a straightforward comment. For an instance and instead of saying ‘He (white man), is the best boyfriend I ever had’, the acceptable version of events is:

‘There are good and bad in every race, it so happens I found a white man who loves me and treats me right’.

I am yet to see equal desperation in black women to similarly ‘qualify’ their good experiences with black men by saying perhaps, ‘It so happens I found a black man who treats me right’. On the contrary, black women are under strain to convey that there a hordes and hordes of ‘do right’ brothas out there for black women.

Let me mention here that I do not think IR bloggers claim that there is a mainstream white male stampede for black women. Instead there is the realisation of an existence of a sub section of white men who can and do provide appropriate and satisfactory partnering prospects for black women and there are good odds and in some cases, even better odds of dating these than dating black men. We have also pointed out that some of the believed ideas about white men's taste, and habits and preferences are indeed ‘political stories’ used to put black women 'off' white men.

Yes there is racism which has implications for the chances and choices that are available to black women, but good prospects are to be found particularly by black women who take advantage of their full range of dating opportunities.


Get clued up about interracial dating, read the Interracial Dating E-Book

Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)

Monday, June 01, 2009

Sheeeeeeeeeee's Back!

The Difference between DBR white Nazi male & DBR black male

You would never see a white supremacist type white male go after Seal and Heidi Klum's daughter... Let alone prefer her and consider her to be "the epitome of beauty" Compare and contrast the dbr black male vs. the dbr nazi white male; At least with the dbr white Nazi white male, his argument or so-called "cause" is always consistent!

My question is, if black males where really concerned about this so-called "black love" wouldn't they PREFER the women who come from these unions, instead of chasing white men's, Hispanic men's and Asian men's daughters?

read the rest here!


Breeding for the greater good lol! I learn a new term everyday.



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