I can tell you categorically who isn’t!
If a black woman makes it black women’s obligation to rescue the race or uplift or save the race, that black woman is NOT part of BWE thinking. Don’t get it twisted please. Refer to this blog post for more on the 6 key markers of BWE writing.
Battle of the mind
Watch out for those who want to defeat you mentally, or who sow seeds unknowingly or deliberately that defeat bw in the mind so that they take themselves out of the game of striving for betterment. Evia reminds us that life is a battle of the mind. Some of us think we can consume media and be around certain ideas and attitudes day and day out and be unaffected. Most of us don’t realize that some of these ideas attack our self confidence, we only know there is damage when we find we have high levels of anxiety when we are called upon to do certain things etc. And in a world like ours where a high level of confidence is increasingly required and required to be turned on at the drop of a hat, some of us are seriously undercutting our abilities by ingesting negativity, doubt and being around self undermining chatter. And self undermining chatter doesnt have to be obviously negative of self-debasing, it can be an attitude or behavior that locks in self defeating patterns.
Ever since the issue of bw loving beyond race got given another high profile boost with Richard Banks book, I have been noting how some bw would rather talk about how ‘no one wants them’, and how undesirable they are (in the comment section of mainstream publications) as if they can actually by saying this attemtping to reinforce the idea of bw undesirability that might be 'dissipating' because of these kinds of media highlighting. I have read a fair few comment sections, even commentaries on this whole issue of bw dating out and most often it isn’t even others telling bw they are undesired, it is bw themselves introducing that bit of information.
I know that there are some bw who cant believe any good about themselves because they have been fatally damaged in this regard but I also know that many of these commentors have seen and even experienced white men being attracted to them or their freinds or family members (because these examples are all around us especially given that about 1in every 6 bw who is married is married to a non-black man) and thus to continue to offer the notion of bw undesirability seems quite deliberately about thwarting ‘attempts’ to get bw to break bw free from the notion that they can and should only aspire to be with bm!
They subtly execute this plan to close bw off within the walls of Black community, reminding others of how bw are unattractive, just in case they have forgotten why they need to keep away from bw or why bw should view the whole debate to expand their horizons as invalid. It is indeed amazing how bw would do anything to prevent the ‘loosening’ of bw from the black pact. I am convinced that whether these women are aware, they are doing this or not, they are colluding with the agenda of keeping bw from freeing themselves from race conscription (a lot of bw mindlessly drive forward their own oppression).
A lot of bw have become poisonous to bw generally and sane black women need to get away from their company least they begin to mimic the patterns of behaviour and attitudes that continues the self -segregation of bw.
It is clear that self-spite is becoming a common response among black women.
Pretty Much on your own
We all go through life pretty much on our own. In other words no one takes us by the hand and walks us through life, instead we have people who might come alongside us from time to time but ultimately it is down to us to live our lives. Thus I am worried when bw don’t want to put one foot in front of another or take risks but need detailed guidance on how to go about living the suggestions made by BWE etc. Stop asking for step by step guidance. See yourself as an adult who is has to get into the rough and tumble of life. Life is about risk taking about something to show for being on this planet for 80 years and yes some of what you will have to show will be scars and mistakes mixed in with the victories won because you made an attempt.
Continue to side-step
Here are other things you have to side step as black women (continuing on our theme of the last blog post).
- Side step the matrydom life expected of bw
- Side step the fact that media doesnt favour and is even hostile to bw by creating your own impression
- Side step the injunction to be with only black men and if not then alone
- Side step the push to make you responsbile for black men and for black community
Wondering about Interracial dating?
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Questions to be sent to: firstname.lastname@example.org