Friday, February 19, 2010

Lets talk about Black Women and the way forward!

So lets talk about what folk think black women should do about the current crisis situation of black women (that is if you think black women are in crisis!).

I have a couple of questions to pose to black women that can help us see what sort of way forward there is, and if we think we need to do certain things.


Questions (Please answer only one from the following list)

Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?




Or is it too late to stop the maligning and ridicule, have we let things go too far, such that black women should just keep their heads down and do their individual things?


Do you think there is a critical number of black women who have an awareness and also a zeal for their image and their interests (as distinct and independent and separate from that of black community, black men etc etc) to support and not kill any efforts that could be developed on their behalf


What in your understanding is the nature of the war against black woman and what shape does it take


Do you think the current portrayal of black women has any sort of effect on your individual life chances to necessitate any sort of collective action



Do you think there are any allies out there in the fight for black women’s image



How much time a week would you be willing to give to any efforts organized to defend black women and their image



Any other thoughts



Lets be real, and honest in these discussions, you are not obliged to believe in collective action (or not)….

31 comments:

Oshun said...

This is hard- to answer only one question. LOL

"Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?"


Yes, I think there are many things BW can do to to salvage their image.

I like the idea of a viral/guerrilla campaign.

You mentioned on your blog about memes a while back and how people can eventually pick those up.

I think it would eventually pick up enough steam that even those in the matrix could be convinced to pick up the meme in their own benefit.

Just keep the message focused, short, and sweet: these images/words etc are racist and sexist (no matter whose doing them) and they have x, y, z impact.

Felicia said...

"Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?"

I believe individual black women should make sure- at all times - that they themselves are not thinking or behaving in stereotypical ways. That they themselves are thinking of themselves as WOMEN first (especially before considering oneself a member of the black race) who are needing and deserving of protection, love, and support.

This can only be accomplished OUTSIDE of typical black environments. At least inner-city ones.

Smiling, exhibiting natural feminine behaviors, and showing vulnerability of any kind in many "black communities" these days can get you raped or even killed.

So the FIRST thing BW need to do is cease socializing in all black environments.

Being that lone black face (or one of few) in a positive, family friendly, progressive non black environment is often all it takes to signal you're "different" then what folks have been led to believe (thanks to the media which is often anti-BW and unfortunately sometimes negative previous encounters with BW who live up to the stereotypes) is a typical black woman.

Only when black women feel SAFE enough (some BW appear stone like as a self-protection mechanism due to prolonged exposure to DBRBM in physically and psychological dangerous environments) to exhibit normal feminine behaviors and dress in ways (dressing stylishly conservative and being soft spoken is often considered "acting white" in certain black circles and is therefor frowned upon/ridiculed) that increase the likelihood of a quality man showing interest and approaching, will BW be able to salvage their public image.

Because the tough as nails, fiercely independent, "Strong black woman", "don't need no man", mule of the world persona is born out of necessity when living in these all black Hell Holes.

This unattractive persona is the natural end result of BW limiting themselves for decades to DBRBM.

When BW limit themselves to BM (DBR or non) they stand a higher risk of never marrying, and if they do marry of having a higher divorce rate. BW who limit themselves have a higher chance of being left to raise any resulting children alone. Also, of being the primary breadwinner even if the marriage stays intact.

This so called "life" can't help but harden a woman. I would imagine it must be hard to be "happy go lucky" and appear friendly, open, and carefree when you feel like the weight of the "black world" is on your shoulders.

The weight (and fate) of the "black world" belong on black men's shoulders. Not black women's. And if they're not willing to carry that burden, then BW need to say "oh well then..."

And DROP IT. Because there are too many Quality men in this world who DO know that it's THEIR job to do any heavy lifting. Not a woman's.

When ENOUGH individual black women start making the necessary changes (leaving all black environments, dating and marry quality men regardless of "race," having children born IN wedlock, etc...) THEN society will be forced to have a different, balanced, and more positive view of black women as a whole because scores of black women in real life will be living quality lives.

If that were to happen it would be a phenomenon that could not be ignored.

IMO - as it is - by the counterproductive behaviors most BW are still exhibiting (needlessly choosing to remain single when they don't have to, continuing to have OOW children in high numbers, continuing to support DBRBM and anti-BW "entertainment" etc...), the greater society doesn't have any reason to change it's negative and stereotypical view.

In closing, individual black women should continue to protect their own good image by thinking, and behaving DIFFERENTLY then the masses.

This causes one to stand out and quality people - especially quality men - WILL take notice.

Zabeth said...

So hard to pick just one! But this one stuck out to me the most:

“Do you think there is a critical number of black women who have an awareness and also a zeal for their image and their interests (as distinct and independent and separate from that of black community, black men etc etc) to support and not kill any efforts that could be developed on their behalf?”

I think this is the most critical issue. We can do all of the things that you, Oshun, and Felicia have set out but if there are still a large number (if not the majority) of BW who do not look out for their own interests, are downtrodden, are still BM identified, and who still think that it’s ‘no big deal’ than not much will change. I hate to sound like a pessimist but that’s what I’m sensing. That’s my biggest concern. But it may also be the case that once a movement gets going than more BW will see the light.

Anonymous said...

This may sound kinda silly but one way is, if you have a little girl, u should dress her in dresses with shorts underneeth and with hair ribbons,pigtails and the like. Hey, weve been in jeans since the early seventies, its time for a change. Its really cute if their around 4 years old and younger--no beads just ribbons! she'll look cute and feminine--like the 50's no hotcombs though

CW said...

Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?

I don't think our image is as butchered as some have led us to believe...Don't get me wrong; There is plenty of injustice out there...However we MUST put our needs first and foremost and learn to identify and separate our interests from "mantras" and herd-speak...

Or is it too late to stop the maligning and ridicule, have we let things go too far, such that black women should just keep their heads down and do their individual things?


Never should we keep our head down...But each BW should decide how to live her life to the fullest...Some may want to join said organizations, others will want to contribute on their own & then there are some who will head up the cause *WINK*

Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?


Now as I touched on earlier, it isn't as bad as some are thinking...Certain parties have an interest in placing BW in a downtrodden lot...Realize we cannot feasibly save everyone...Nonetheless, those in BWE roles have undoubtedly touched many...The implementation of effective strategies can be honing your skills and marketing them effectively...Another method would be to operate a service which compiles resources to BW...Each woman can disseminate the message as she sees fit...Some hand out fliers, hold conferences, write books, blog, create videos, speak on the radio, etc....The possibilities are endless!




Do you think there is a critical number of black women who have an awareness and also a zeal for their image and their interests (as distinct and independent and separate from that of black community, black men etc etc) to support and not kill any efforts that could be developed on their behalf?


Even BW who have not been exposed to these blogs deep down are looking for something MORE...A combination of stealth, strength-in-numbers and persistence must be employed to deliver such information to BW...After that it is up to the individual to inquire and/or act...


What in your understanding is the nature of the war against black woman and what shape does it take?

The trickiest battles are not the obvious b!tch h0 type of propaganda...Instead it is a subtle combination of false sympathy, misplaced obligation and non-productive waiting ...

Do you think the current portrayal of black women has any sort of effect on your individual life chances to necessitate any sort of collective action


Occasionally folk (of all colors) have tried to "box" me...In my personal experience, I find that intellectual curiosity and reaching out to others has served me well...Make no mistake, I do not 'pander' to make others comfortable with their prejudices... But I do find getting to know others goes a long way!



Do you think there are any allies out there in the fight for black women’s image

That's a tough question because I believe many of us were erroneously trained to look for allies before making any moves...Yes, the RIGHT allies are very helpful...But BW must learn to show others that we will take action where needed, and not align ourselves with dead causes...True power will not align itself with the wishy-washy...And on top of that BW need to show how potential alliances would be beneficial to the other party...



How much time a week would you be willing to give to any efforts organized to defend black women and their image?

My schedule varies and have no set number...However I will take on projects as time allows...

Any other thoughts

No...Just going to keep doing what I am currently while mulling other projects!

CW said...

Ummm whoops... *insert embarrassed smiley*

Guess I didn't understand the instructions first go-round...Do as you will with my comment : )

Postscripts From the Edge said...

Yes, The way we are seen in the media affects all black women. It doesn't matter if we are aware of the damage done when it happens or feel its affects. The best poisons are undetectable. The media war against black can even be shrouded as back handed compliments and so called racial pride(ewwwwww). It is soo pervasive it is expected. And everyone who helps spew this negative portrayal of black women gets some benefit of the exploitation.. be it psychological...monetary (porn/ videos/ advertisments)...emotional(see Essence mag, Ebony, many black churches...sexual(porn). They all have the same goal.....to take our power, take our voices,our resources, our energy and distort our image so that we can't be seen, heard and have NO access to any more power than what we have. And yes ladies we had to fight hard even for that. This is a war that we as a collective have let rain on us without firing a shot back. I want to sign up and fight back. I 'll do it for myself , my daughter and EVERY other black woman and little black girl who looks in the mirror and ponders what she is worth.

Jacque said...

I forgot to sign my last post. But to reinterate...I am ready to fight this war. It will take alot of us and I'm willing to do my part. I don't know how we got the "aggressive" stereotype but it is time to be assertive and have some say so and possibly control of our image.

Tempress said...

Do you think there are any allies out there in the fight for black women’s image

I know of an Asian guy in particular on Youtube and blogspot who constantly defends and supports black women. TenchiJk. Look here http://www.youtube.com/user/Tenchijk

He's been an inspiration and comfort for us. That guy has so many black female fans. Us black ladies, who like Asian guys too, have flocked to him in droves. Because we're being disregarded an/or mistreated this one guy has about 500 plus women following him from all over the world.

There are plenty more but he's very prominent to me. I wish I could find more Asian guys that back us not because he wants something but because he truly cares.

Tempress

Anonymous said...

Felicia said: "In closing, individual black women should continue to protect their own good image by thinking, and behaving DIFFERENTLY then the masses.

This causes one to stand out and quality people - especially quality men - WILL take notice."

I would have to agree. I left the black community and purposely made friends of all nationalities, cultures, and races.

Leaving the black community must be a need and not a want. I knew that there was something wrong in my community and I knew that there was a better way of living and I NEEDED to be there - whereever that life was. So I left and never looked back.

I know I am not answering any of your questions but I just felt that I needed to cosign with what Felicia is saying...she is spot on with her comment.

Traci

Felicia said...

"Smiling, exhibiting natural feminine behaviors, and showing vulnerability of any kind in many "black communities" these days can get you raped or even killed..."


I might add, that even when black women and girls in black residential Hell Holes ARE soft, approachable, with pleasant demeanors and mannerisms, this too does not protect them against these DBR monsters that proliferate in the ghetto's across this country.

Because DBRBM simply cannot accept the word NO. At least not when it's coming from a BW.

These fatherless males have a shaky since of masculinity and identity (because FATHERS teach boys how to be men - not women - and most of the sperm donors aren't there) therefor they can easily feel "dissed". Especially when a request/romantic advance is denied/rejected by a black woman. That's like the ultimate "rejection" to them because they fell as low as BM are in the worlds eyes, they CAN'T be considered "lower" than a BW.

When BW so called "diss" (reject a request or sexual advance) DBRBM, they feel like they are at the VERY bottom of the totem pole/hierarchy.

UNDER "their women". Who they mistakingly believe are us.

Which creates rage.

The fact is that there are NO actual men in those "communities" to regulate the behavior of these dangerous fatherless males, and that puts ALL black women and girls at risk.

The answer is for BW to prepare themselves to eventually FLEE these Hell Holes for GOOD and not look back.

Many BW are hovering near the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_
hierarchy_of_needs

BW will NEVER reach the upper regions of the pyramid - or the top - while being surrounded by chaos. And that's all that many black residential areas these days provide BW and children.

Suspect in 'Hamburger' Murder Held Without Bond

http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0908/
555489.html

Vanilla Lover said...

your only letting us answer one...cruel lol, i wanna answer the all.

rainebeaux said...

Or is it too late to stop the maligning and ridicule, have we let things go too far, such that black women should just keep their heads down and do their individual things?

Yes, yes, HECK NO, yes. Long answer: many bw have laughed this mess off and/or enabled same...now we're ALL paying for it! This is a tad easier said than done, but it boils down to this (note: mostly applies to black women who, like myself, KNOW they goofed in the mating-with-loser(s) department, but are fully aware major changes are in order):


keep your eyes/ears open and KEEP YOUR POCKETBOOKS CLOSED--yes, BOTH OF THEM...anything less would be uncivilized and is construed as assisted suicide.


Also, what Felicia said.

arthur said...

Do you think the current portrayal of black women has any sort of effect on your individual life chances to necessitate any sort of collective action?

I believe that the image of bw is not just negative, in the view of wp, at least. We are aware, from contact with them in our everyday lives, that there is a subgroup of bw that are educated and high-minded. Like the Sanaa Lathan character in Something New. And it's not like a masters degree or real beauty is part of it.

When we see bw who dress, talk and act like Sanaa or her friends, we have a completely different, and more positive set of expectations than when we see a grim-faced, 'ready for trouble' bw.

So the overall bad image is not a complete broad brush; it contains an 'exception clause' that bw can use to escape the bc, even the way things are now.

I would hope that any bw lurking along doesn't think that she can't make her move until the overall image problem is fixed.

Halima, I know this is not exactly what you were asking for, so feel free to not post it if you think it's too far off topic.

Anonymous said...

"Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?"

I really think we have the power to effect a great and lasting change in redeeming the black woman's image globally. However, I think such a movement has be done covertly. The enemy is ready to spring on us at the slightest chance it gets to keep us down. So whatever is to be planned on the grassroots level onward has to start in secrecy. It's a war for our psyche right, so in all wars, stealth, secrecy, covert operations and striking the enemy when it least expects it is what will lead to successful outcome.

Each person or groups can work in their territory. There are many of us globally, so it is a matter of working in our own regions going viral little by little until we replicate and take over the host, not killing the host but rewiring it's circuitry.

White men for ages have had their secret societies however controversial they may be. I don't have to mention them, we all know them by names. These societies have served these members and their offspring for generations to ensure consistently enduring wealth and ensuring entry in the high places of society. I think black women can form their own societies to ensure lasting wealth and advancement and an image to be envied. Peace.

Jules

Sepiame said...

Felicia and Anonymous I also cosign your comments on safeguarding our image by acting, thinking and behaving differently from the masses.

I am planning to leave my black neighborhood this year and move into a multicultural and more importantly clean and safe neighborhood. I have been looking around here and most black women seem so downtrodden and tired and my heart goes out to them but I cannot stay. Not after my eyes have been opened by all of the wisdom on these BWE blogs. I am saving every dime, cutting out unnecessary expenses, losing weight, and practicing stealth so that I can make my escape from here. I remember once I was out power walking and this DBR made a comment about how sexy my walk was! I notice that I also purposely dress myself down so that I can move around the black community in peace. Yet when I get to the park near my target neighborhood I see all of the white and asian women in cute workout clothes...I can't dress like that and expect to return home without harrassment. But I welcome my impending move and the many freedoms it will bring.

Last summer after I lost about 40lbs I rewarded myself with a shopping spree. I have never been the flamboyant type, I really do lean toward being more conservative. This is how I feel most comfortable, a hint of skin here, the right choice of color there, and a great attitude to tie it all together...and the quality men started to come out of the woodwork. This was never my intent, I just was working on feeling better about me. But I started seeing appreciative glances from the executive types and it makes me go hmmmm... And I am 40 and nowhere close to a size 2and never will be. My new image gets overlooked in my black neighborhood, behind all of the overly tight jeans and exposed cleavage here...and for that I am grateful.

Oshun said...

Hi Zabeth,

I see your point and I agree, but I do think compelling visual arguments can be used to tip the scales over time. The things that Felicia mentioned can be also be 'encouraged/backended' via visual arguments.

I hate to say this, but think of it as the shepards/priests and the sheep. This is how it was explained to me in film school - literally. If most BW are on autopilot (like a lot of people are) I think it could eventually be successful.

Sonja said...

The question that stood out the most is

Do you think there are any allies out there in the fight for black women's image?

I strongly believe our first ally should be ourselves and our money.
We need to get strong within ourselves first. We need to let everybody know whether they are friend or foe that we mean business. They need to know we're on a mission and we will not let anyone divert it.

I'm starting to think BW don't have that many allies we can really depend on.
No one is really stepping up for us. If they were we wouldnt be in this situation in the first place.
Even if we do have allies it doesnt mean they will always be one.

Either way(allies or not)I believe it's best for BW to stand up on their own and take action. After all this is our fight.

I'm willing to help in any way I can as much as I can.

Felicia said...

"When we see bw who dress, talk and act like Sanaa or her friends, we have a completely different, and more positive set of expectations than when we see a grim-faced, 'ready for trouble' bw.

So the overall bad image is not a complete broad brush; it contains an 'exception clause' that bw can use to escape the bc, even the way things are now."


EXACTLY Arthur. You speak from experience and knowledge of how your community feels and thinks.

Thanks for chiming in.

Normal, fair-minded, and non racist white folks (and others) don't paint all BW with the same brush. There is an 'exception' clause as you say and BW can use this to their advantage NOW.

Neecy said...

Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?


YES. but it will take ACTIVE work on the parts of BW. And I have to say that I believe there is going to need to be a split within the black female community. the fact is, not every BW is ready for change. Some are so content and happy being in the position they are in or so INTENT of fighting the BM's battles that they will end up being dead weight. I am not interested in helping to save ANYONE that doesn't want to save themselves.

The problem is not necessarily that we see certain negative depictions of BW in the media. the fact is there ARE BW like we see who are constantly being shown in the media. HOWEVER, there is no balance because BW (LIKE US) have not fought to be seen or heard to balance out the negative. Ghetto Black community loving BM worshiping BW have fought to make their voices heard and unfortunately all BW have been labeled as such.

the fact is BW with our mentality (that you find on the BWE forums) need to fight for our voice and image and womanhood. It won’t happen sitting by idle waiting on the world to change on our behalf.

And I believe to effectively see change, BW will need to do this on an individual level as well as a collective ACTION ORIENTED level. And when I say action oriented I mean letting it be known both publically and privately we will not tolerate being ridiculed and maligned for our gender and race anymore. Other actions include mass boycott of our money on companies or any public private venue that deems it okay to target BW with malicious intent or hate. Creating watchdog websites. And fir those of us who are seeking action on a higher level - I think BW need to take back our womanhood and start defining it ourselves and PUTTING IT OUT THERE in our own works 9arts) and voice (music, writing).

Websites like yours and many others are a GREAT part of the solution b/c the internet reaches so many people. If my writing were much better I would start a blog/website myself. But that is not my key strength. Either way the more the better. I have been looking into more of starting like a U Tube network/ community. I am still tossing around ideas but I am planning on something within the next month for sure.

cool_splash1 said...

Want to find that the white news anchor who defended black women. The audios not the greatest. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DENevRln7Sg not the fool that is talking afterwords.

Anonymous said...

"Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?"


"Other actions include mass boycott of our money on companies or any public private venue that deems it okay to target BW with malicious intent or hate. Creating watchdog websites."


The withholding of funds and watchdog webistes are great ideas! Maybe an "Offender's List" where media offenses against black women are listed on the web and the names of those who sponsor/support the offenders. Any high-profile person or entity regardless of gender, race, religion, political leanings, affiliation, etc. offending black women in the media would make the list.

Not only could individual products and corporations make the list, but tv and radio stations, even newspapers can be directly impacted (negatively) by black women withholding financial support. Not donating to organizations, including public television and public radio stations by returning their own fundraising mailings (using their own postage) and writing the reason for the nonsupport on their own pledge cards, would be a very effective way to inform that offensive portrayal of black women will not be tolerated. Removing their names from wills (and stating the reason why) would also be very effective. Public tv and radio are somewhat more vulnerable than corporate media since more educated black women who are more conscious of the way black women are being portrayed are more likely to be viewers and/or members. This is easy for non-BW allies of black women to participate in as well.

Offenders should not be let off easy or expect praise for mere token gestures. It should be up to black women to decide when or if their support is to be resumed. Attempts to placate, for example, a PBS ad showing a black woman celebrity known to be in an ir, but never actually showing black women in IR and socializing with people of all races as equals (not as only charity cases, never-married moms, burden carriers, bm support, victims of the "evil white man" or entertainment) in any ad or program, are insufficient.

There are plenty of alternatives out there for just about everything under the sun. Smaller businesses offer products and/or services that not only rival, but in many cases, are far superior than the conventional products that corporations with the big bucks to sponsor television programs sell. They can be listed or linked to as well. Bookstores are great alternatives to the idiot box (the television set).

There is no need to return to the offenders if they resist change.

Mary said...

i think a secret society would be a good idea at this point. it would be nice to be able to interact with other bw who are on the same page, we'll be better able to bounce ideas off each other, we'll also be able to do effective boycotts and assist each other with campaigns that we might want to put together. i think also an anti-defamation organization might be good as well

cool_splash1 said...

@Mary

You know I had an idea similar a few months ago
I was looking at sites
http://www.wikihow.com/Create-a-Secret-Society (crazy, but interesting)
http://www.ehow.com/how_2106015_form-secret-society.html
http://www.howtostartafraternity.com/

I was looking into fraternities and sororities being that many so called secret societies (and I say so called because I don't know if they are real or not)started out as a group or fraternity of people getting together.

Anonymous said...

In a way, I think were in crisis(I dont know about the UK) but we have 80 percent illegitimate births AND one third of all abortions! something is wrong-we've got to stop being locked in our thinking a certain way-go to a healthy well-balanced church and hear the GOSPEL, have a hobby, be adventurous, and I believe, the GOOD MEN OF ALL COLORS will come to us

GoldenAh said...

>>Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?

We are the "black community": its economic strength, the backbone, and the workers. We have more power than we realize. What we need is to emphasis a "black woman's community."

Black organizations (churches, NAACP) are supported, almost solely, by BW. We've spent too much time worrying about other folks, because we've allowed ourselves to be saddled with the Strong Black Woman label. We are made responsible for everyone.

To improve our image, it's time to reclaim ourselves. I believe that's the hardest path to pursue. From childhood on we get coached to look after everyone, except ourselves.

I recommend adopting the "I'm Selfish and It's Okay" mantra. Learn to say no and run! mentally and physically from emotional vampires.

We can take initiative(s) without formally organizing. And I believe our secret organization already exists: we have been referring to it as "BWE".

And by initiatives, I sent Pepsico an angry email about JM. That was my thing. http://bettychambers.com/2010/02/dear-pepsico.html

I also have a book, a sci-fi / love story coming out - soon. http://princess.belanita.com

I think we are all here, because we see what's been going wrong around us, and to us. I think the support is there. If there's a certain campaign we feel is critical, then we do it.

For every "enemy's lists", let's not forget the "friend's lists."

My .02.

shimmy said...

I think that these are issues that we have to think critically about. I think that we should have some kind of an organization that advocates for us and only us specifically. We should lay out the guidelines on what we consider to be harmful to our interests and public image. Financially punish or boycott those that disrespect us.

I think we do need to address these negative stereotypes that harm us in the media. One thing about these negative stereotypes is that they seem harmless, but in reality they do harm us. Some of these portrayals and stereotypes is that we are all fat, angry, loud, promiscuous, masculine, and ugly. Another one that might sound silly is that we can't grow our own hair and we all wear weaves. Many times people make unfair assumptions about us because of stereotypes and pure ignorance.

I do think there is a war to break our self esteem and spirit down by racist non blacks and by many people in the so called black community that do not have our best interests. This is done mainly by some black men and their black female supporters.It's becoming normal for us to be disrespected, maligned, harassed and ridiculed by even random people sometimes. We are becoming the butt of jokes. They see us as deserving this mistreatment because they see us as lesser women compared to non black women. This happens in the media and in real life situations.


I'm mostly concerned about the young black girls that might be faced with this kind of treatment because it can affect their self esteem and create stress. I do not want to see them see negative images of themselves and grow up feeling inferior to other women.

I do think if like minded black women come together and discuss these issues with blogs like these, then we probably have a chance to bring awareness and come up with solutions. I apologize for being so long.

shimmy said...

Another thing I think we can do is to separate ourselves from the acting black crew type of black women. Some non blacks including some blacks think that ALL black women should act the same. When you don't talk or sound like the acting black crew, they think you are some kind of an anomaly. They will many times tease, harass and laugh at you if you don't exhibit what they consider to be so called "black behavior". Some of these traits they see as acting black is being loud, speaking in slang, and acting tough. I know Evia on her blog one time called them the "soul patrol". We need to also bring awareness that we are not some monolithic group. We can do this individually and collectively.

Selena said...

Neecy said:

The problem is not necessarily that we see certain negative depictions of BW in the media. the fact is there ARE BW like we see who are constantly being shown in the media. HOWEVER, there is no balance because BW (LIKE US) have not fought to be seen or heard to balance out the negative.

Exactly we're quick to say, "well they/he/she ain't talking about me."

And for those who ARE quick to slap that hand, there's 5 more who will call you sensitive or say that you can't take a joke *shakes head.*

Goldenah said:

We are the "black community": its economic strength, the backbone, and the workers. We have more power than we realize. What we need is to emphasis a "black woman's community."

Woomp there it is. We need to take some ownership and accountability for this madness. I left the so-called "community" eons ago however I'm constantly trying to get my female relatives out of there. My male relatives that got their stuff together either have:

Moved out of state (and are in non-black relationships) and only come back to town to get their "fix" of urban living and jump right back on the next thing smoking OR

They're doing so well (like my father)they will never be touched with the nonsense.

Faith said...

Do you think black women can do something to salvage their image and what do you think would be effective?

--BW can stop shooting themselves in the foot especially in public scenarios. They can recognize the differences amongst various social settings and modify their behavior accordingly. They can stop letting others - particular black males define their image.

Or is it too late to stop the maligning and ridicule, have we let things go too far, such that black women should just keep their heads down and do their individual things?

--If BW choose to do things they should do so with their heads held high.


Do you think there is a critical number of black women who have an awareness and also a zeal for their image and their interests (as distinct and independent and separate from that of black community, black men etc etc) to support and not kill any efforts that could be developed on their behalf

-- Not necessarily. I think BW should do what they feel comfy with. I do think it would be good to have some other things in place to combat the negative images though. The first priority has to be taking care of oneself as an individual though.


What in your understanding is the nature of the war against black woman and what shape does it take

Conquered black males have historically and currently abandoned the family and wanted to escape their blackness since the period of enslavement and reinforcement of white supremacy has taken its toll. Instead of dealing with the mental, emotional and spiritual ramifications they have declared war on black women as if somehow destroying the source of their very lives would alleviate their discomfort. BW are misused, abused, denigrated and told they are not good enough and no one wants them. Only those marginally black women who typically have white mothers are considered desirable by these men and they elevate them instead. As more women embrace and internalize this negativity they support the same destructive traits. The only caveat is how more BW tend to attend college and have more disposable income but the focus has to be on leaving the dead weight and things that don't work behind.

Do you think the current portrayal of black women has any sort of effect on your individual life chances to necessitate any sort of collective action.

-- Collectively there is not going to be anything done. Individually I have felt equally negatively impacted by the devaluation of BW and the sense of hopelessness of a growing number within the collective that has created other obstacles aside from any external issues or systematic barriers that may be in place.

Do you think there are any allies out there in the fight for black women’s image.

--If we are looking to outside groups before looking at ourselves I think that's problematic. Nobody else is going to do more than what you're willing to do for yourself.


How much time a week would you be willing to give to any efforts organized to defend black women and their image.

--I'm willing to spend as much time as I can. I already do in fact. I want to make sure my efforts have impact & that I'm moving forward though.

Anonymous said...

<--BW can stop shooting themselves in the foot especially in public scenarios. They can recognize the differences amongst various social settings and modify their behavior accordingly. They can stop letting others - particular black males define their image.

Or is it too late to stop the maligning and ridicule, have we let things go too far, such that black women should just keep their heads down and do their individual things?>

I have wondered these things as well. We need to have etiquette training for black girls so that they understand the way you act in the workpace, home, business, social scenes (like company parties or what have you)are all very different. Also stop proclaiming nothing but a bm or I don't do pink etc. Also stop fighting over a boy/man it does not put a girl/women in the best light.

http://abagond.wordpress.com/2008/05/28/black-women-that-white-
men-like/

I remember reading the post to the link above and having a weird feeling



Then I read this post and I was through http://abagond.wordpress.com/2008/06/25/why-so-few-white-men-marry-black-women/

This is another reason we hold ourselves back. We let others goad us into pity parties. I will tell you this post had me feeling so depressed after reading the comments. Like the other link I had to remind myself of the pics that Evia and others had posted on their blogs. What others have to remember to do is take sites like these with a grain of salt.

That means vet everyone and everything trying to give you info. Some people like to throw things that seem like truth with poision thrown in for good measure.