Friday, September 14, 2012

Summer's end...some reflections

As we near the end of summer, I will say that it was this year's summer, that showed that a tide may be turning in terms of black women taking up the option of finding love with all kinds of races of men. I went to a number of music festivals and to the Olympic Park and there were black women of all shapes and sizes and all ages with white men, biracial children, Asian men etc. As most of you know, the number of black women in Britain dating white men is relatively high when compared to their counterparts in the US, yet you never quite see it. You hear about it, and maybe see one or two examples as opposed to the dozens and dozens of black men with white women you see every day. Well something seems to have changed and these black women are behaving as normal as possible and this is what gives me hope.

There was a very curious case I came across at a music festival; a 'Rastafarian' white man (with his long dred locs and all), and his black wife also 'loced' down (lol!). They were a middle age couple so this was clearly no Fad. I saw them strolling along just like every other couple out there, and that’s the main point here, they like many of the other women were going about life normally, engaging in lives little activities, communicating in low tones, slight gestures just like between two normal everyday people. You know when black women are with white or non black men and they are speaking very loudly and also looking furtively just tells me they are uncomfortable and they want to suggest to others that this is not an intimate situation in fact the loud talking is inviting everyone to see that there is nothing intimate going on.

I also saw young black girls with white boys (a very hard group when it comes to Interracial Dating). The message is getting out there that it is normal to be attracted to and to date white guys even from school age.
911 Anniversary
I rarely say much on this subject every year, if I do remember to, I sometimes put up a picture and say 'God bless America' or something of that nature. After the recent events in the middle east, I am even more inclined to not just value Western freedoms but to realize that there is no similar kind of context of personal and individual freedom offered around the globe.

As black women we talk about living the best lives possible but make no mistake, the context within which we can live optimal lives is the western context, no matter how flawed and deficient it still is. If the western edifice does not endure, then as black women, you can kiss your fancy ideas about living optimal lives goodbye. Do you know that there are places in Africa now where as a black woman you can still be sold as a slave.

Indeed some of you think you have a fight/quarrel with the western social order but I can assure you that if you succeed in taking down the western edifice, what will replace it will make your hair stand on end. The West is not evil. It has deficiencies, it has flaws, somethings could be better...Do your best to better the system at the same time defend your freedoms and values which are under threat. The external threats are even more than those of so called 'right wing christians' because there are already laws in place that limit what such folks can do. There are actually external factors that may well reshape some of the west's most fundamental freedoms, as it seeks to align itself with the demands and agitation and financial might of other global power players and a new world order being ushered in as we speak. 
I am sounding this warning, Stop trying to take down the whole Western project. Stop being used and manipulated (through your anger or guilt or bitterness) into destroying your own civilization.

Now someone made the statement the other day, that the US went to Afghanistan to install Sharia law, they did the same for Iraq, they are in the process of doing it for Libya, Egypt and Syria and the rest of the middle east. When you really think about it, they are right. Imagine that!

Lets face it, no one knows if the Arab spring was really the flowering of democracy, the signs dont point to that. What is becoming more evident is that some of the most reactionary and anti-human factions co-opted the rhetoric of democracy and self-determinism to actually forward an agenda that will actually be illiberal, anti-democratic and is threatening to crush the minorities in their midst, who even under the worst dictators managed to find a safe space within these regions to live and be.

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Lynn said...


I'm noticing the same thing here in the United States! I'm happy and hopeful when I see young married bw out and about with their white husbands. I know a significant portion of young bw are receiving the message and not following in the footsteps of their foremothers.

Incidently, I'm also happy to see young bw acting like other women i.e. normal feminine mannerisms. I get tired of seeing the stereotypical bw out and about in public, making noise, scenes, causing pandemonium. Everybody uses bw as forms of amusement when we degrade ourselves this way. When a bw is partnered with a good man, she is usually more reserved, has less stress in her life, and overall has a happier outlook in life. It shows in her public interactions.

Unfortunately, I still see bm, trying to sabatoge us any way they can. Whenever I'm out with my boyfriend, we always get mean looks, comments, etc. My man takes it in stride, and always has my physical safety as his top priority. That is why I could never date a bm again, wm are almost always the better protector, provider, and already knows his 'manly' roles!

God bless, Halima, and thank you for hanging in to fight the fight to the very end.

Aisha said...

"Indeed some of you think you have a fight/quarrel with the western social order but I can assure you that if you succeed in taking down the western edifice, what will replace it will make your hair stand on end."

Halima, I thank you for writing this and continuing to sound the alarm on this issue. Sooo many silly women criticize the U.S./Western countries on issues of race, politics, etc. They don't understand how much WORSE their life would be in most other places, or under the rule of these foreigners, especially as a Black woman.

Do these Black women nationalists know what would happen to them in some of these African countries, even the "modernized" cities? Forget about the Middle East. I have spoken to enough women from these places and had enough run-ins with the men to know it is no picnic in the park. This goes back to what you said about Black women jumping into other people's battles without realizing what is at stake. The West is the best place for Black women and any woman to live, period.

"Do your best to better the system at the same time defend your freedoms and values which are under threat."

Best advice!

samadhi101 said...

I'm a bookworm so I tend to buy a bunch of books that'll I'll eventually sell back for gas money lol Anyway, I came across Assata: An Autobiography( about an ex Black Panther): I bought it awhile back but forgot to read it. I decided to read it but it was really hard to get through since BWE message has changed my mindset a lot! Of course no one will ever know the truth about what happened on the New Jersey Turnpike that day but she obviously didn't get a fair trial and was abused in prison. What baffled me were her experiences with BM: She tells us about how she was almost gang raped by BM when she was younger, but she thought their treatment of her was a byproduct of slavery. She even acknowledges the extreme sexism BM inflict on BW. She talks about how the father of her kid seduced her, I'm paraphrasing: Our kid's gonna know nothing but suffering so we might as well have fun now. Now I'm already annoyed, then I get to the part she talks about BW and WM: she basically says despite the bleak relationship between BM, we should endure it b/c WM only want BW for sex. I happily let this book go.

She endured a lot of needless suffering in support of the socialist movement in the U.S. and for BM uplift. If you've ever read The Ten Point Program (its just a short list of demands The Black Panther party made) it reeks of powerlessness! It's truly embarrassing how blacks expected the government to provide jobs, housing etc. when other minority groups provided these things for their own groups. It didn't help that Assata saw suffering as her birthright: she's a prefect example of what happens when BW let themselves be used for someone elses agenda. I doubt the BM Black Panther members ever actually believed their own bs but hey they had a group of willful BW slaves at their disposal, not to mention fame they got to enjoy in white liberal spaces and of course the obligatory prize Becky.

Dee Dee Russell said...

Hi Halima!
I've posted twice and failed to tell you that we have given you props for being a BWE/Swirl pioneer and now I see others are talking about you, too! Wrote about you and have the thread pinned to the top of the page over the weekend will leave it there for another day.

My FB page at it's root is inspired by YOU. 7 years ago I first read you and you helped change my life.
Hope I don't sound gushy like to give credit for inspiration where it is due happy to give you shine on my new & little cult swirl page Black Women With Other Brothers Facebook. Also linked to your amazon page for book purchases! Wishing you all the success in the world!

Oyan said...

Just a comment in general. I had not visited this site, in quite a while, and was looking for it online. I had forgotten the web site name, and figured that i would stumble onto it somehow. I was pleasantly surprised and pleased to get an (auto) email!!!!! It's as if I wished for contact with 'you', and you appeared Thank you!

FemmeNoire said...

Yes, without a doubt the West is the best place for Black women. It is not
perfect by any means (Imus, Mayer, constant attacks on our First lady's
looks/humanity, etc) but compared to the sheer hatred that Black women & girls have to put up with in all-Black countries, and what they would face in non-Black third world places that see women & girls as little more than two-legged cattle, it is the best we have got. Also, Black women should not be blamed for speaking up against abuse in public because it might "embarrass" certain others, just saying.

Unknown said...

The west IS THE only place for BW. I am also hearing many WW not wanting men to protect them. I'm just wondering. I've always hated the afrocentric nonsense my ex brother in law was into. He was mean to my sister and she finally divorced him; this is one of the reasons I didnt want to marry a BM. Shes right about the Arab muslims were the ones who started the slave trade, yet we 'throw away' our CHRISTIAN names for muslim ones (Pocahontas became a Christian and changed her name to Rebecca--probably changed the spelling from Rebekah)Muhammad Ali from Cassius Clay (cassius was a roman abolitionist ive heard-from slavery)and there is many more

Halima said...

Hi DeeDee thanks for the heart warming feedback!