(Warning: If you have a weak stomach, you might like to skip this one!)
I know some folks are pushing to have the word DBR expunged from the growing ‘something new’ movement vocabulary. I say we keep it and for good reason.
I don’t know about you all, but I am a ‘sesame street’ kid. I grew up on a regular diet of snuffuluphagus (sp), and big bird and Ernie and side kick, Bird. I thank God for Sesame Street, which entertained and made learning such a pleasure. I particularly liked how they would focus on a word or a number, and by the end of the program, they would have sung and joked the word into your subconscious lol!
There is one cartoon clip I remember till today. A bird flying in mid air and the word Pelegro being announced and flagged up as it passed. And there is this Spanish female voice in the background expanding on the word. Now Spanish speakers know that the word pelegro means 'danger'. Basically the bird was being admonished to be careful and ‘watch its step’ (or watch its flight to be exact). In the end, the bird crashes into a big ‘Pelegro’ sign, and gets stars swirling round its head!
Now why this story? Well essentially I am trying to say here that words are tools. They are useful for conferring a necessary posture of caution on individuals towards other people, situations and things. A road sign saying ‘Danger Bison ahead’, requires a necessary response which involves taking the foot of the Gas and keeping eyes peeled and on the road to navigate safely. Imagine how potentially fatal it could be if the sign was not present. What would happen if the ‘wet floor sign’ was not up at your local diners as you dashed in for a quick take out!
Words and comments can be descriptive enabling us to identify and thus neutralise the effect of a ‘hostile’. Without these concept-words, we are left without necessary ‘guard-up’ and open to untold danger.
In the same vein words like DBR are necessary descriptive words, to ensure bw adjust their mindframe at such a time as this, when they need to slip into ‘self-preservation’ mode, what with all the predators lining up to misuse bw, knowing full well that the BC does not exact any penalty if they do, but will even move to excuse and defend their actions and blame the victim for their fate! We know who they are, but before now, we were not allowed to name them by a name and thus, put together an effective plan against their activities.
The BC has done a great-good job of disabling even removing the ability of black women to be self-protecting in their interactions with BM. As far as the community is concerned there are no bm who might be deliberate in their misuse of bw, or who are happy to capitalise on the precarious situtaion of bw marginalised by race and gender, and definitely no bm who take advantage of bw devotion and desperation to uplift their community, to leave bw with a disproportionate responsibility for holding things together. No, these men dont exist to the BC according to them, bm are just misunderstood and of course forced to do what they do by 'de evil wm'.
The obsolete and downright dangerous code of ‘a brother is a brother regardless’, and ‘we have to lift up a brother,’ will continue to lead sisters into desperate situations where they will open themselves up to those who will abuse their goodwill. We must, identify and protect ourselves from such 'hostiles', thinking with our emotions and feeling 'squeemish' about hurting folks emotions will make the situation linger.
As people have also noted here, the language of endearment continues to be used in our community and by labelling a person ‘a brother’ (or sister) regardless of their actions, we facilitate the opening of our emotions up to psychopaths who would love nothing better than to capitalise on lowered guards and our endless grace’ and mercy'.
Since there is no effective systems within the race to isolate and neutralise ‘hostiles’, bw are left with no choice but to put together their own strategy and acknowledging that there is something called a DBR in the Bcommunity is first step to doing just this!
As I have said before, you don’t need to use it if your emotions can’t handle it, especially if you have been fed the steady diet of ‘no black person is irredeemable’. Some of us still need more time (and maybe more knocks) before we do what is necessary. Some might even have a better term, so feel free to drop it from your vocabulary, but please don’t prevent us using this word that adequately describes the situation we find that confronts us. I am an optimist like every other person out there but I will never claim that we can rehabilitate everyone for the community, that is sheer lunacy because some folks enjoy the rewards of being renegades and eschewing all forms of decent acceptable behaviour!
Bw need an even more robust vocabulary to map their unique situation in the scheme of things, the standard dictionary and terms dont quite suit our narrative. We need even more words to reflect and detail our reality, we need a lexicon going, so bw can map out their situation and have an effective strategy to counter acts of aggression against their persons decisively! Being lily-livered will not serve us at this point bw need to 'man-up' for what needs to be done and stop letting emotions get in the way!
We want to create a portrait of the bw and the forces arrayed against her, lets get busy, coming up with words and concepts which effectively explains and gets to the heart of the situation bw face black women, more effectively than the standard discourses written from all sorts of other perspectives.
We have to restore bw ability to self-protect admist deleterious doctrines of 'a brother is a brother no matter what'! We need to render ineffectiove any message that a black man deserves endless chances regardless of their actions towards bw or notions that it is bw duty to put up with such behaviour and this is preferable than seeking out decent men be they non-black or not.
I will add that, some men might be damaged but not beyond repair (but you might like to still keep away), and for sure there exist DBR outside the community as well!
A few more concepts/words for the 'something new' lexicon
Race to the bottom – The doctrine that black women should be willing to date down even to the ninth degree, to ensure that they achieve a bm.
Black Male protectionism – The tendency of the BC to deem the rescue of the 'endangered' bm as priority, and put this before everything else including necessary justice for the victims of bm.
Mammy ideology lol!
Keep hope alive doctrine- Hoping against all reason/reality that a black prince will eventually show up at the end of the day.
2-1 = 2 doctrine -Regardless of how many bm are missing from the dating pool, (due to incarceration, gang related deaths, lack of employement etc), 'There are always enough bm out there to be had by all bw'. lol!
'Hug a Thug' lol!-It is bw moral duty to open her heart to DBR in order to rehabilitate such men and this is more honorable than choosing a decent non-black man.
BW love Thugs doctrine– The doctrine that bw choose to date thugs and a refusal to acknowledge that with 1/3 of bm going of to jail (the closest definition we have as to what constitutes a thug) at any point in time, restricting to BM would condemn bw to dating thugs, at least 1/3 of the time lol!
I guess i have to rephrase this point: Given that anything of up to a third of BM qualify as 'Thugs' (having passed through the criminal justice system at some point), the issue is no longer about 'BW loving Thugs', but about bw having to 'make do', with thugs if they want to restrict themselves to dating BM!
More to follow….
The E book is now available!