Thursday, June 05, 2008

Interracial Dating 101: Further notes

Is it wrong for black people to seek to repair the damage of white supremacy through a resistance doctrine (see definition of resistance doctrine in previous post)?
In principle, there is not much wrong with having a strategy for correcting the wrongs of white supremacy within the black race, however, the resistance doctrine in itself should not hurt black women’s interests and cause them unnecessary hardship.
The common resistance doctrine espoused within the black community does not take into consideration current realities in offering behaviour codes and specifying ‘right’ actions particularly for black women.

For an example and in reference to male-female relationships, black women are not untied from stringent dictates and requirements to ‘only date black men’, even in the face of a considerable number shortfall and unavailability of black men. Politically black women are also supposed to act as if they have full co-operation of black men in their endeavours to uplift the community, when it has been evident for a long while that they do not have such support.

Any true and fair resistance doctrine would have a concern for black women at its heart, would take into account the realities that make it impossible for all black women to live the ideal of ‘black men only’, and would thus take a liberal attitude towards black women ‘expanding their choices’!

It is clear and becoming more and more evident that servitude without reward has always been the deal for black women within this present ‘resistance doctrine’ and black women are beginning to abandon its precepts for being unrealistic to them.

Will a white man make a better partner than a black man?
Generally speaking it is impossible to call, there is no guarantee either would provide the best experince because this is about individuals. However on an individual basis some black women tally their experinces and report that they have had more pleasant ones with white men.

The question could be asked, 'Why is it the case?'
For that question, there are a thousand and one reasons of which one definitely is that the experiences of any particular black woman are too limited to make any kind of general conclusion.

Another reason could be that the unchallenged sexism, racio-misogyny and unsupportive attitudes towards black women within the black community make black women feel this way (note that I say 'unchallenged'). Black women who are taken for granted and expected to do a lot of heavy lifting within their communities etc might suddenly find it a refreshing experince to be with a man who has no such expectations of them because they are from a community were efforts have been made to 'control', unsupportive attitudes towards females.

An out of race partner may also bring a different perspective/energy which might be seen as refreshing Different energy from an IR partner

Get the full discussion in the IR Dating E-Book

Send your questions to (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)

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