The Giving of Advice: Bringing Clarity

I am asking black women to think very carefully about those who they go to and recieve advice from. I want you to look clearly at the nature of the advice giving to black women.

I am keenly aware that people offer advice that they have filtered through a number of considerations and concerns. Do black women as a rule understand this fact or do they just recieve advice based on the 'face' or 'personality' giving it?

There is a lot to suggest the later is the case.

Indeed when you as a black woman go to ask people for counsel, do you just think, 'Well Belinda is such a nice person,' or 'She is a straight shooter, she will give me the advice to lead me right'. Do you perhaps ask, 'What kind of ideological underpinning does she have, what belief system does she hold internally, and from which she will offer me instructions?'

A new mindset is necessary for black women to lay hold of the future. Such a mindset will enable black women achieve practical and tangible goals, enable black women understand the rules of the everyday power games of which everyody willing or not is engaged in, in fact the mindset will enable black women understand that power games are indeed being played and whether she wants to acknowledge it or participate, she is being moved along the game board.

3/4 of black people offer black women advice from their belief that black women are here to do the bidding of their community (you wont believe this but even white people are beginning to share this sentiment and it is influencing their responses to black women too). Black people offer instructions and freindly advice having in mind black women as the community facilitators, community builders and community backbone, this is irrespective of the fact that they the advisers, might be kind, genuine, considerate and nice people. Do black women understand this dynamic at play?

The Farmer and his Mule

Once there was a farmer who owned a mule, and then the mule became ill. The farmers main concern was how he could get the mule up and working again as fast as possible.

The farmer's concern for the mule was centered around the work that needed to be done on the farm and the loss he was incuring the longer the mule was incapacitated. The farmer wasnt thinking, 'You know this mule is a wonderful creation of God that deserves to live the best life possible', no, it was simply about, 'How do I get this mule to continue to work for me and even increase it's productivity'.

If the mule went to the farmer for advice about its 'problems' thinking, the farmer sees me as an entity that has value within myself and deserving of the best existence possible, the mule would be gravely mistaken.

You can imagine how the farmer would instruct the mule. The farmer would make his pronouncements out of his concern for the work the mule is performing for him, not out of unadulterated concern for mule in its own right. The farmer would offer advice that would ensure the mule did not 'range' too far from it's 'duties'.  The farmer would offer advice and tell the mule to pursue its needs within the boundaries of the 'field' that is its rightful area of operation, even if this means stale grass and polutted waters as opposed to fresh supplies lying just outside the perimeter of the field.

Like I said, it appears black women just look at the external and the apparent goodness and good intention in those they recieve advice from, rather than understanding their perspectives on key issues. They see Mr Lewis as a man who never means to hurt or would never mean to hurt, because of course Mr Lewis is 'brotha' and you know brothers are always for the good of their sisters, right?

Yet Mr Lewis believes firmly that black women are meant to hold it together, with their last breath if necessary, and he either deletes or cannot even begin to concieve of any solution that lies outside the perimeter of black women being 'on call' for race duty, in fact when a suggestion was made of a solution that seemed to loosen black women from their 'race obligations' Mr Lewis got very alarmed, petrified and worried. Yes indeed, Mr Lewis's key concern was about how you as a black woman could continue to serve your commision, more than he was concerned the acute pain and lack you would suffer by continuing to be kept 'in place'. 

The pervasive notion that black women are here as 'race infrastructure' to do the community's bidding exists in the black community construct, and means that black women are almost always instructed with this key consideration foremost in peoples's minds, whether the individual doing the instructing is a nice and kind person. This is simply the same dynamic occuring when sexism is pervasive and the belief in specific jobs for women is rife, how women get rail roaded into careers that fulfill this brief of a woman's job, like 'nursing.' This is regardless of the fact that sweet Mrs Evans who happens to be a woman herself is doing the advicing.

There can be a prevalent idea, doctrine or dynamic circulating within a specific sub group of society which impacts how that group generally responds and reacts. Now some folks would want us to believe that acknowledging such a thing is racism or stereotyping!


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