Thursday, September 23, 2010

5 things bw need to realize about the current black social milieu

1) The black community operates by the 'The government should care more about the XYZ (imprisonment of black men, HIV infection of bw, oow etc etc) more than we should and 'we are owed' principle.

But hear me good, the government shouldn’t care more about my personal progress than I should care and be anxious about it!
I care more about my own progress to wait on the pace and timescales of any government, because it is my life on the line here! I am motivated on behalf of my own success that I will do more than any government could, to ensure I make it.

This is where black folk have lost it, by thinking and insisting that government care more about gang bangers, oow, black economic situation, than they should. Foolish foolish foolish.

This is one reason that I am slowly beginning to dislike a good section of the ’progressive’ crowd. All they want is to get as much evidence as they can to support their eternal war with the right, to show that the system isn’t working. But guess what, the evidence they require is the body count of black women broken by the current system. Indeed, having that body count, is more important than doing anything immediate to halt the ongoing disaster (HIV, STD, DV, etc). To them the ‘evidence’ is more important than saving lives, and that is why when I ask them ’Lets take a ‘short cut’ here, I am bleeding to death’, they say ‘No no' (we need your broken and destroyed bodies as evidence that the system is not working!) .

2) Black men are apolitical and immorally indifferent to the fate of community- The whole ’lets try this, this might wake them up’, ‘lets do that, that might work,’ ‘Lets try this tactic, I am sure they will realize then the need for their presence….’ is simply a waste of time! Its like trying to wake up a corpse, its not going to happen! If your ‘scheme’ in any way is ties to the ‘participation’ of black men, then count it as lost.

Accept it and save yourselves a lot of continued heartache.

Many bw cannot simply accept that black men as a collective are not in anyway concerned about what black people, the black family, black children etc etc will become, even though they have shown it abundantly that ‘saving the race’ and safeguarding black future is so far from their thoughts it could well be as far as Pluto.

The other thing I notice is that many bw are hunting and searching for that rare hens teeth of a black man who ‘has bw back‘, instead of conserving their energy and using it for more productive activities. Indeed in their desperation to know at least ‘one or two bm’ who care, they will pile all untop of any bm who ‘seems’ to be supporting bw when if they are not that emotional and desperate, they would easily see that that man has been leaving clear signs of his contempt of bw from the first day.

‘Thank you so much for defending us, thank you so much for clarifying your position…’ lol just shows you how low bw have fallen that they are profusely thankful for bones tossed their way!

They get confused when their black male idol (the black men they thought was theirs and was for them), suddenly shows by his statement that he has ’ feet of clay’ and he just (like the rest is the haters of black women) hates black women, only he was either good/clever at hiding it because he has needed to maintain this reputation for some other stuff eg sell books or a play etc. Sometimes you sense these things, you don’t need to read it in black and white before you know what a person is. Bm will continue to boldly show bw their contempt as the days go by, very soon they will feel no need to hide, particularly when you show them that you will seize upon any crumb thrown your way and use that as a ‘proof’ of how much that bm is ‘into bw and loves them’.

But I’ll give you the litmus test to know that a particular black man has a bw back (since many us might need pointers). Unless a black man says that he agrees with the general position that black men are amoral, apolitical and there is no defence or excuse for their actions and activities, then you can be at least 80% sure that this is the ‘fair-minded’ bm you seek. If a bm however tries to say, ‘some not all’, and tries to point out that some bm are doing good etc, in fact that alone makes that bm deeply suspect. In other words any ’fair-minded’ black man must be willing to take the full barrel of criticism that is coming black men’s way without in anyway trying to deflect it or share blame, I don’t care if he comes from a long line of exemplar men. Indeed any bm who can drum up some defence of the current male contingent today is better written off. He must be willing to take the full criticism. Anything less makes him suspect!

3) Perverse voices now dominate the black political discourse. Perverse voices are those who justify and defend what black people have become and the rot that has taken root within the black community. Perverse voices take some twisted satisfaction justifying the status quo often they come from a point of defending some ‘progressive principle’ yet the end result is not wanting to ’loose people from ideas and behaviour that is netting them ’less than’ and indeed taking them down.’ This is why everyday, more and more bw are on the path of destruction, because perverse voices (soothing them and urging them to keep with the status quo) abound.

I used to be na├»ve in thinking that ‘defending black people’ was the way to go, that this meant looking out for black people against their detractor and attackers and thus ensuring their survival and indeed wanting the best for black people. How silly, how silly was I. In the past, defending black people was necessary because black folk where trying to ‘better their situation’. They were moving along the way of progress and so defending us and pointing out the hypocrisy and the holes in the argument of others who were indeed set against the very survival of black folks, was ’clearing the way’ on the path of progress, so yes it was important to say, ‘leave black people alone‘ but not anymore!

Today it is disastrous to say, ‘leave black people let them be, stop judging and focussing on them’ in other words ‘defending black people’ because that is simply saying, ‘let them remain in the position they are in currently which on the contrary requires challenging’. Lawdy lawdy, could such a statement as ’leave black people be’ be any father away from wanting the survival of black people? Indeed this would simply be defending the rot and counter progressive posture, that black people have currently adopted.

See, when you go to those sites where their posture is ’stop picking on black people,’ ask them if there is really any ‘space’ in their approach where they actually address the fact that blacks have fallen into degeneracy (on many levels) that actually needs to be picked on and judged. Or is it so much more important to ‘let us continue down the line of destruction’.

Black folks don’t know when things swing right round and thus when an approach needs to change or else it becomes lethal. Black folk are notorious for never changing tact, never noting when a change has occurred (which invalidates a certain course of action) but constantly hang unto dead and obsolete tactics possibly out of nostalgia and attachment to some symbolic value in the approach.

contd
4) The black community says to itself, 'We know we cannot control the actions of black men, who will do what they want to wether it creates havoc or not (they are essentially out of control), so we will attempt to control black women's feelings over black men's actions'. Thus you get the constant response, 'You are bitter because a black man did XY'. Such statements are an attempt to invalidate your natural reactions to the activities of black men, to make it seem wrong and inordinate reactions, that you start to 'rewire' your own feelings!


The BC is constantly trying to make bw not feel what they should normally feel under the circumstance (they constantly try to police bw natural feelings and reactions). So anger, disillusionment, self protection instinct...all these things that arise naturally when bw look at their situation, the community is trying to prevent. If they however focussed half their attention and effort correcting the behaviour and attitudes of black men then trying to suppress the natural reactions black women have towards black mens actions, then maybe sanity would return, but no they want to control how bw feel!

which brings me to the last point

5) Most of the black community sees black women as the rescource of the community and thus 'withold' any information that could take black women up and out from this role. Yes any information that might mean bw no longer having to function as 'resource basket' from which every member of the race cancome and grab from,  is quietly dropped in the bin!

And see all those folks you love and care about? They are in on this effort (though a good number are doing it simply as an 'unthinking' repetition of culture norms and ideas). Indeed the 'non thinking' state of most black women is ideal for the propagation of ideas and systems that oppress them from generation to generation. This is one key reason why unsophisticated and time warp analysis and arguments abound within black discourse. Indeed you sometimes go to 'black events' and wonder, 'Am I back in time talking about obsolete stuff?'.

Keeping the discussions, understanding and analysis 'incomplete' and unsophisticated is an effective tool to maintain the oppressive staus quo  (Peggy Mckintosh)

Gain insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, and find out more about the Interracial Option, read the IR E-book

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16 comments:

Bellydancer said...

{Black folks don’t know when things swing right round and thus when an approach needs to change or else it becomes lethal. Black folk are notorious for never changing tact, never noting when a change has occurred (which invalidates a certain course of action) but constantly hang unto dead and obsolete tactics possibly out of nostalgia and attachment to some symbolic value in the approach.}

This is called called following a cargo cult:
Def:
A cargo cult is a religious practice that has appeared in many traditional tribal societies in the wake of interaction with technologically advanced cultures. The cults focus on obtaining the material wealth (the "cargo") of the advanced culture through magic and religious rituals and practices. Cult members believe that the wealth was intended for them by their deities and ancestors.

One example is the civil rights movement where whites were somewhat sympathetic to the cause and even participated. Black people were hard workers and strivers and just wanted an even playing field but things changed when the industrial complex was depleted and jobs were lost but our leaders were still preaching the same ole methods and thought whites should give more or be more sympathetic which was impossible considering they too were loosing jobs so instead of focusing on more education, training and reeducation our leaders instead of looking inward to our problems of fatherless homes,drugs, physical and sexual abuse of young women in order to keep on top started to blame our problems on racism and cronyism while not looking at sexism and elitism amongst our own.
We also refused to make or support our own "cargo" or goods and accessories, stores and businesses thus our neighborhoods declined. When we were not shoplifting, stealing, rioting and burning them down that is.

In cargo cults, natives develop rituals that express their disagreements with outsiders who refuse to share cargo on acceptable terms(wiki)in other words we get mad when we can't produce what every otherman on the planet seems to be able to do so.
So we get on tv and radio and try to shame the white man over slavery and any other nonsense.
Get mad at the asian, african and arab men who make a way in our potential land of plenty.

The cults focus on obtaining the material wealth (the "cargo") of the advanced culture through magic and religious rituals and practices.(wiki)in other words we are in churches every sunday and sometime other nights of the week turning over hundreds of millions of dollars to preacher pimps, whooping and praying about lawd show us the way and cannot produce one fortune 500 company.

see more
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult

Sorry so long and some of my words may have gotten mixed up but our methods of the past no longer work, our leaders have no new solutions and blame everyone and anyone and the church which used to be a beacon of light is now an ATM for black male hustlers.

Shan said...

I was at a theater show last night. A fat, black man was performing a scene about his ex girlfriend breaking up with him. His roommate was trying to help him find someone and the fat, black man told his roommate, "Stop setting me up with fat black chicks, man. She looked like Cedric the Entertainer."
1. He doesn't like black women. If he did, why couldn't he just say, fat women?
2. He has a problem with dark skin black women in particular, hence the reference to Cedric the E.

He changed his words in his script during practice so he also said during one of the practices that he doesn't want to date himself after making a reference to fat black women.

When will black women learn? Bm have no problem insulting bw publicly but you will be hard pressed to find a bw that will get up in front of a group of people and insult a black man. The crowd was mostly white. The crowd didn't roar with laughter, but there were a few snickers. I think many of them were uncomfortable.

GoldenAh said...

I sometimes read twitter and other black blogs. I don't believe that all comments are representative of all black people. But the samplings were enough.

Some of the people who see themselves as "progressive" and "feminist" have reasoning skills and thought processes that leave me speechless. These "educated people" are useless, and if the "black community" has to rely on them for a secure future - it is doomed.

On these BWE / IR blogs, no one's been exaggerating, the reality is even worse than our most dire predictions. I don't see black people (in the US) being able to maintain a 14% population rate. I see it rapidly shrinking over the next decades.

The trends are all there: high AIDS rate among young bw, decline of social welfare programs, high homicide rates, high dropout rates, high unemployment, high illiteracy rates, shortened lifespans, the complete and utter lapse in moral standards, clueless media selected "black leaders", and the devolving social / economic strength of black people, etc. etc.

It will be when, and not if, the other groups become exhausted with providing material and financial resources to the vulnerable and growing black underclass, as well as the shrinking black working class. What are black people going to do about it? Nothing, because they won't be able to.

White liberal guilt is drying up as we speak, and the other minority groups are climbing the social / economic hierarchy without remorse.

I wish I could be optimistic, but I've never read people be so willfully blind, and pardon me for being harsh, so bloody damn stupid. It's appalling.

Halima, sometimes I read these conversations where BW are trying (basically pleading) to get BM to show them some empathy and compassion. It reminds me of sheep and wolves discussing what's for dinner.

trish said...

@Shan
That's so sad. Everyone can see his dysfunction but him. There's a bright side to all of this, soon black women would be hard-pressed to deny black men's very naked hatred for them and act accordingly. I so look forward to that day. Then blogs like these would be beacon posts and black women would hungrily lap up the messages that would uplift their lives.

Bellydancer said...

Golden Ah said:
It will be when, and not if, the other groups become exhausted with providing material and financial resources to the vulnerable and growing black underclass, as well as the shrinking black working class. What are black people going to do about it? Nothing, because they won't be able to.

White liberal guilt is drying up as we speak, and the other minority groups are climbing the social / economic hierarchy without remorse.

Wiki:
In cargo cults, natives develop rituals that express their disagreements with outsiders who refuse to share cargo on acceptable terms

All that moaning and groaning about racism and making white folks feel sorry for you has hurt us in the end especially when the same people keep coming to the trough to be fed.
Some people thought welfare would never end I told my grandfather it will end in my lifetime because these chicks are abusing it.
When they started making you file child support against the fathers here in Indiana to get any assistance the bm got so mad cuz they had this thing about keeping the white folks out of they business while driving new cars and living with they other babymamas and female relatives and just strolling around making new dependent offspring sometimes 2 or more a year and now that no longer works if your child is to eat.
Bw here had been playing games "I don't know where he lives or stays" while trying to protect these bm who barely paid their kids any attention or did anything for them financially for years so white folks said okay but still file on him anyway cuz you are not getting anything from us. I sat back and sighed I knew it was coming.

Pat said...

I think that there needs to be a movie made. You know that sisters will support a movie. There needs to be a movie made that delivers all of the messages of your blog, Evia's and Khadijah's extremely analytical blog. That Khadijah is brilliant! If only there was a movie made...Sisters would get this message on a larger level. These blogs have made me see things so clearly...But unfortunately it would be seen as a black male hating project.

focusedpurpose said...

Pat-

the fact that it would be seen as a black man hating movie is nothing new. so was the Color Purple...and we all know sexual abuse runs rampant in the so-called black communities.

Halima, great post and comments!

blessings all,
focusedpurpose

Halima said...

Hey focussed, havent seen you in these parts for a while now!
I trust life is kind to you.
Many blessings!

Pat said...

Amen. And to put it quite simply. Black people in particular black women are walking zombies and every other race of women know this and want (in particular white women) to maintain the status quo. But sisters dont help it by not trying to improve their situation and walking around all blind and dumb.

Amanda said...

"I think that there needs to be a movie made. You know that sisters will support a movie. There needs to be a movie made that delivers all of the messages of your blog, Evia's and Khadijah's extremely analytical blog. That Khadijah is brilliant! If only there was a movie made...Sisters would get this message on a larger level. These blogs have made me see things so clearly...But unfortunately it would be seen as a black male hating project."

That would be great. Just make sure Tyler Perry has nothing to do with it!

Khadija said...

Halima,

You said, "This is one reason that I am slowly beginning to dislike a good section of the ’progressive’ crowd. All they want is to get as much evidence as they can to support their eternal war with the right, to show that the system isn’t working. But guess what, the evidence they require is the body count of black women broken by the current system. Indeed, having that body count, is more important than doing anything immediate to halt the ongoing disaster (HIV, STD, DV, etc).

To them the ‘evidence’ is more important than saving lives, and that is why when I ask them ’Lets take a ‘short cut’ here, I am bleeding to death’, they say ‘No no' (we need your broken and destroyed bodies as evidence that the system is not working!)."

I hear you. And I'm beginning to think that BW should declare a moratorium on the use of ANY political or politicized terminology. Because among Black folks, all of this terminology functions as thought-stoppers. [I'll note that a similar thought-terminating dynamic exists among "conservative" and "religious" BW. See this post for examples of thought-terminating phrases in a religious context.]

I think that more of us (myself included) need to abandon these various political ideologies, and examine issues on a practical, case-by-case basis.

Halima said...

thanks for that link khadija, 'thought terminating cliches' for real, the stuff is just full up in the heads of those who 'think by numbers/emotions'

Craig said...

BWE Writers and Readers,
These have been very interesting reads, for sure.
As a stark (counter) example of the convoluted reasoning’s now promoted to “normalize” the situations for A/A women because of the large scale abandonment by A/A males, you all should check out this young woman’s “explanations” put forth in her last two posts (which someone forwarded the link to). It’s at http://thebeautifulstruggler.com/
I fear Halima might rightly lose a fuse reading it, lol.
I really wonder how this A/A Male Apologist would react to some straight-up questions about how any of this benefits A/A females, asked by A/A women themselves.
At the very bottom of it all, as always, is the same old worn out concept of “Nuthin’ but a Brutha” and all the ‘dirt thrown in your eye’ to hide that fact and the huge levels of damage being done (and that has be done for 50+ years now) by desperately clinging to it. You’ll love the A/A male comments on it all. One astute ‘brother’ made this comment to justify what’s happened (I quote) “the conscious choice some women make to be mothers without the burden of a mate or to be under some pressure to marry to satisfy everyone’s perception.”
Wow. “The Burden of a Mate” Just … WOW.
Do A/A women ever directly challenge these tactics?

As an observing white male, I now fear there isn’t much hope for too many A/A females anymore, if they really believe these ideas.

SMH said...

Never in the history of the world has any group ever been so bound and determined to self destruct and work actively against their own self interests as the American BC - SMH

American WOC are best served by divesting any interest save for healthy self interest.

Wonderful post Halima - may your words travel far and wide to enlighten and enrich those souls starved for knowledge.

SMH

Pat said...

There was a poll done that asked black women (Essense online)if they would date outside their race. The results thus far are: yes, I love men of all culures 56%, I'd try to find a good black man first 29% but suprisingly... No I cant get enough of black men was only 15%. This is great!

Beloved said...

"4) The black community says to itself, 'We know we cannot control the actions of black men, who will do what they want to wether it creates havoc or not (they are essentially out of control), so we will attempt to control black women's feelings over black men's actions'. Thus you get the constant response, 'You are bitter because a black man did XY'. Such statements are an attempt to invalidate your natural reactions to the activities of black men, to make it seem wrong and inordinate reactions, that you start to 'rewire' your own feelings!

The BC is constantly trying to make bw not feel what they should normally feel under the circumstance (they constantly try to police bw natural feelings and reactions). So anger, disillusionment, self protection instinct...all these things that arise naturally when bw look at their situation, the community is trying to prevent. If they however focussed half their attention and effort correcting the behaviour and attitudes of black men then trying to suppress the natural reactions black women have towards black mens actions, then maybe sanity would return, but no they want to control how bw feel!"

--I experience this when my sista friends whenever I say anything about so-called "brothas". However, I ALWAYS notice that they NEVER ACCUSE ME OF LYING ON BM though.