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Woman who claims 'black woman' attacked her with acid admits she caused her own injuries!Already the 'exusers' are lining up including a senior police officer (who possibly worked on the case) Read here
Letter from reader
I can't even stand the sight of black men! When I see black men I make certain assumptions about them and I have always said that I couldn't ever see myself married to a black man. I feel convicted about feeling this deep disdain towards them. I want to be a healthy individual who makes relationship choices that are free of such baggage. What can I do about my disdain for black men and how do I ensure my admiration for white men isn’t springing from this ugly place?- CC
From what I can gather you are simply fed up with the actions of black men, is it really deeper than that? And I don’t see it as invalid in anyway that black women should be 'fed up' because black women are being treated horribly by black men (it isn’t a figment of our imagination). When someone steps on my toe, I shout out with pain (especially if they are wearing stilettos). To me your angry emotions and developing bad feelings towards black men is just as natural. It is the effect from a real cause and the cause is their shabby treatment of black women.
I am aware that in the age of armchair psychoanalysis, many people have begun to feel that their natural and normal reactions are somewhat invalid and wrong. Indeed black women are constantly preached to against being angry and bitter against black men! To me this is very strange, and I don’t see how these feelings are anything but natural in the face of the misuse and mistreatment meted out by black men. Indeed have black men done good? If not then why do others want to make black women feel that their feelings in this regard are surprising in fact unnatural, greeting them with 'where is it coming from' kind of astonishment.
If I said I was fed up with white racism, and the many ways white men and woman oppress and victimize black people, I doubt that anybody would question those feelings as illegitimate or invalid. I seriously doubt any would rush to me to say, ‘hush chil’ or say that because I haven’t yet, ‘interacted’ with all white people, it is wrong for me to feel that way towards all whites! Instead, my comments would receive nods of agreement as other black people identified with feeling fed up and frustrated with the actions and activities of whites. The fact that racism exists in the attitudes and behaviour of a significant portion of white people is reason enough for my feelings to be accepted as valid and understandable, even if these feelings overshoot to other white people who may not be racist. Yet black women are looked at askance if they express mild disapproval of black men!
I find it beyond funny that when a black woman speaks about the black female situation and how black men play a role, she is suddenly deemed ‘bitter’ as if being bitter somehow invalidates what she is saying. Folks does this mean that bitter feelings against your mistreatment/situation is wrong? Are you suppose to clap and dance about being ill treated? So how does this work, are you suppose to only legitimately speak when you are giddy with happiness and joyous at a bad situation? One would think that it’s actually people who have suffered a situation that can speak up with clarity and passion about the issue.
So it is legitimate to be wary of whites after repeated incidents of racism, it is only natural, yet black women are suppose to be bruised and battered by black men again and again, yet retain a generous and confident disposition towards them! What’s up with that? Why must black women be willing to give black men umpteenth benefits of doubts but on the other hand treat white men with deep suspicion even when she has never faced even near as much ‘misuse’ from white men, in fact anything she knows about their actions is second hand information given that she has never even shared coffee with one! Hmmm
We know that racio-misogyny is real and is present in black men’s responses and reactions to black women. We see and experience it everyday and the signs of it are clear and all about us how black men target black women with aggression. So why should you not feel a measure of anger, rage and chagrin at black men especially since they have returned evil for all the goodwill black women have shown them!
No doubt the lack of challenge of black men's actions in the black community and the denying of black women their legitimate anger has lead to suppressed feelings which have now exploded and are ten times worse than they should have been if they had not be subject to invalidation and suppression!
Should you try to reign in these feelings? Possibly, if balance is important and you want to live life based on higher principles and good conscience, and holding onto this chagrin is not part of what you want to be about, then yes go ahead and work on resolving these feelings. That you can reflect inwardly in such a way and apply a deep analysis to yourself and recognize that something might have to give, tells me you will not have too much trouble here!
Readers are free to add comments especially around the impact of feeling this way and pursuing an IR (No anonymous comments unfortunately as they will get swallowed up in the attack of spam that this blogsite has been experiencing)
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