Comment sent by black man after BWIR Circle was linked on CNN
I find this whole notion of “black” women dating Caucasian men as an alternative to dating black men to be unfortunate and an absurdity at best.
Black women CAN NOT, repeat CAN NOT exist without black men. Neither black women nor black women can reproduce themselves without each other. The notion that black women would or should consider white men as an alternative to black men is grossly selfish which is by large the biggest problem with relationships in a western society, the almighty EGO. Consider that a black female would say I want a man so bad, nearly any man will do, even if that selection means that I cannot reproduce myself and propel my race into the future. Contrary to popular belief, a bi-racial child is no more black that he or she is white. Consider if black women in large chose this remarkably selfish perspective. The black race as we have understood it historically would cease to exist in this country.
Now please allow me to express that race is more so a social construct than it is a biological construct. However, I will say that children reared in a racist society will certainly not want to identify themselves a “black” especially when they bare less and less resemblance to their African heritage. I can go on and on but I believe it’s not difficult to see how incredibly selfish it would be for black women to begin actively engaging white men as an alternative to black men. If black women want “good” black men my suggestion is to raise one! To much of the trifle behaviour exhibited by black men can be attributed to their poor upbringing by confused mothers and absent fathers.
Even though there are a couple of misconceptions about what we BWE do in your letter e.g. that we suggest dating white men ‘as an alternative to black men‘, I will skip over those to focus on the key issues I think need to be addressed here.
When you say that black women cannot exist without black men, I take it to mean that you think that black women cannot forge a life without black men. It is a pity that it is only when black women seem to be charting a life course that is ’independent’ of black men that we suddenly start getting all the warning and finger wagging. I am wondering why black men are not given the same stern warning that they, cannot exist without black women, given how their interracial dating and marrying is way higher and in places three times the rate of black women. Indeed one could argue that they seem to be managing to exist, pretty well without black women. This scuppers any suggestion that we are somewhat dependent in black men for existence don’t you think, since they seem to be getting on pretty well without black women!
Re reproducing self, I don’t think that the average everyday human is overtly concerned about race engineering, as this is a project best left to the Creator. All a human being can do it try to live the best life they can and make the best life with the resources and choices available to them. The recreating of the black race does not rest only on the activities and ‘say so’ of black women neither is it supposed to continue to be something only black women care about and sacrifice towards, while black men simply supply the male seed (which appears to by and large be how it is being played!). Indeed as things stand, it is left for black men to show the commitment to both recreating and sustaining the black race for it to be a viable project.
You have used the word ‘selfish’ quite a number of times in your comment. It is amazing how many times you have used the word selfish to qualify black women’s actions regarding interracial dating. It is a bit of a surprise to me given that the people who could aptly be described as selfish then are black men who are dating out way in excess of the numbers that black women date out, but then again, I suppose it is no surprise when black men confront this issue in a very hypocritical and self-serving manner, putting black women in line for condemnation while black men escape any mention!
You want us to consider that the black race will decline because of the actions of black women without giving any consideration to the fact that black men’s actions in this regard would end the race a generation ahead of the actions of black women, not to even mention the mass abandonment of their black families that black men practice throughout the western world. For being this hypocritical and biased, I don’t think that anyone need take your comments seriously!
P.S As for the comment about black women raising a man to marry, what kind of nonsensical reasoning is contained in that suggestion? Surely black women deserve a serious response to their concerns…I think so, even if you don’t!
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