Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Primary Reason why BWE are the Real Champions of Black Women (Update)

The primary reason why we as BWE are in black women’s corner:

The mark of a real bw champion is their willingness to ‘uncouple’ bw from black community. Yes a willing to ‘decommunity’ bw, is the main sign of a real black woman champion.

Why? you ask...well the reason is clear, ‘community’ is now the main site of oppression of black women, anyone who loves black women would seriously consider the argument of black women being 'unbonded' from it. Its that simple!

If you look at most of the analysis for black women out there (whether they are by womanists, black feminsists etc), it still very much considers black women entities 'the community'. Black women are still enscribed in community and are still analyzed as beings of the black community, community agents, black community bound, their destinies and lives to be traced out only within these confines and terms.

BWE are willing to unyoke black women from ‘community’ if it will save their lives, keep them sane, prevent them from being worked to death, provide a measure of protection, ensure their resources do not become the possession of others, if it will enable them meet their dreams and goals. To BWE the work which bw do or what they are to their community, is not more important than the health and well-being of black women itself!

BWE are willing to ‘loose her and let her go’. Ask yourself, which other justice group even those that claim to be all about bw are willing to go as far as to say, ‘Black woman, you are now more in danger from within so our models and frameworks need to take this into account and to ensure the survival of bw we will be willing to go as far as detach her from our community-bound, and community-based models if necessary'.

True champions of bw put bw first, not behind the use and purpose of black women to their communities. They can imagine bw living a life outside its boundaries. Those unwilling to separate bw from the community role and community locating contribute to her oppression

Another reason why BWE are really in bw cornerWe give black women the information that others (in particular the black community) suppresses in order to keep black women  limited in range and tracing out their lives only in the limits of community. Since BWE came into being there has been an explosion of very empowering, important and eye opening information for black women to use towards living well and thriving and getting ahead.


Contd

The question is indeed in need of asking, why hasn’t black feminism brought forth new ways of looking at the black woman’s situation that could be of practical use and benefit to black women NOW in her current situation and with the nature of her current threat. Black women are indeed in a bad way yet all we get is ineffective and outdated theories that do not address the current needs of black women!

From these ‘learned’ women we have nothing but the usual ‘complaining’ about the wider system. There is nothing to address the current nature of black female oppression, the battering of black women’s image and self esteem (this time not by whites but by black men). Maybe this is why they have absolutely nothing to say nor any solution to suggest (because black feminism/womanism was all about facing the outward enemy i.e. the white man and thus has come to the limit of its operation and ability now that the white man is no longer the biggest problem of black women).

So each day the situation gets worse and the black woman is at the point that she rises daily and wonders, ‘who is going to trash my image, today? what next? what is going to be dished at me this time?’

Indeed black men have now established a culture of besmirching black womanhood to all and sundry. Wesley Snipes's statement about black women (which marks the beginning of this defaming of black womanhood culture) would now be deemed 'harmeless' in comparison to the brutal savaging that marks the utterences of the black men who followed and built on his example. 

But what have black feminists said about this current manifestation of misogyny directed at black women? I mean its not like we haven’t had numerous examples of it happening for black feminists to know that it isn’t a fluke, a one-off but now a cultural reality. What has been put forward? What theory has been created around which a fight-back could be organized? Nothing.

Instead we are left hanging and besmirching of black womanhood is now so entrenched it is almost an unreported weekly occurrence. So why no response, why no ‘news conference’, I mean aren’t black feminists suppose to respond to the latest threat, the latest targeting of black womanhood from wherever it comes especially in this case where it creates a situation where others feel it is ok to have a go at black women. I mean I thought that they black feminists are suppose to note and to pick up and indeed have something to say about anything that threatens the black woman and her standing in society. I guess not!

Despite the mounting number of cases of black men doing what they are doing you hardly see any analysis presented on what this is or how it needs to be addressed as a threat to black women. Even the most famous black feminist blogs pretend they do not see this increasingly frequent and mainstream phenomenon. They think it is not worth commenting on, I mean it is no biggey I suppose ((sarcasm off)).

If ever they do respond its to position it as an event that requires the response ‘its the actions of an a&sre ehole,’ not that these increasing occurences have strategic and far reaching implications on black womanhood. Not as something that requires rethinking our frameworks and base line assumptions of who is with us and who is against us!

Black women are receiving some of the worse image battering ever and the implications and possible damage is even greater because it was mostly internal (and thus creates an open season condition where others see black women as fair game given that black men do it too).

Black women’s self-esteem is being torn down daily but as for the black feminists, they spend an inordinate amount of time and energy defending and refusing to let go of the assumptions and models of their current feminist framework that have done and continue to do nothing for black women, indeed these analysis and models ‘refuse’ to acknowledge the current reality which is that black men are now the primary threat to black women (and no not in some minor, irritating way) and not because they have ‘internalized’ some stuff, but their actions show deliberateness and a deliberate decision to target black women.

Black feminist models, the ones they prefer, are those that baulk from challenging black men’s activities and those that ‘insist’ on not taking black male threat seriously enough to have something concrete and definite to say.

Yep, to take black men head on, to call the situation for what it is, these feminist would have to ‘seismically’ shift from the current black feminist thought moorings and you know they cant do that. You know how closely they have to align with the current models endorsed by the ‘progressive’ gallery, even if these do absolutely nothing for the black woman’s situation.

Then maybe they are too far into ‘academia’ to really see how the game has changed. Indeed one can become really disconnected from how things really are on the ground and thus the usefulness of their ’suggestions’ when in academia.

BWE are the ones making the difference because we respond to what black women’s current reality is, we do not try to pretend nothing has changed or that there hasn’t been a rearrangement of the chess board and today the little measure of protection that black women might achieved could well come from white people, white places and white structures. I guess this is the intolerable truth to it all.

History will judge those who don’t have the courage and strength to do the right thing harshly!

Wondering about Interracial dating?



I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!

Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com

17 comments:

Jamila said...

That's a good point that BWE need to uncouple themselves from the 'black community' and realign themselves with a community of their own making, full of people who want to support them and graciously receive support in return.

Black women need to learn to see themelves as 'women' who have the same needs as all women before seeing themselves as 'black'.

sisterlocgirl said...

A formal divorce is what is required, with all deliberate haste. There is a truly vast world outside the confines of the bc, and although it may be scary initially to leave the known for the unknown, it will vastly improve the mental, physical, and spiritual health of those who choose to leave. File your divorce papers today and get a plan in motion to GET OUT. Use the resources available at these BWE sites and take action. These BWE blogs and what they represent are people who truly have your back.

SS said...

Halima, I agree with all that you have stated. You are so very wise. This puts me in mind of Evia's notion of being a PAB or Passing as Black Woman. It makes sense because it may be the only way that American black women leave the shackles of the community behind. I am not an American citizen but I live here and I have gotten to understand the mindset that seems to prevail among African American women.
I began taking on a little of that mindset when I first entered the country but no longer. My mind has been renewed since reading these blogs. I see myself as a woman first and not as a woman aligned to any non-reciprocal group. I put my needs first and foremost.

Anonymous said...

It take more than just reading the blogs it needs to follow with action that means us as black women need to really cut ties with bad people in our lives. See where the influntial people in your towns or cities are living. look at what kind of jobs they have see what it took for them to get there and follow in there footsteps. Look at the events they go to the circle of friends they have and follow. This goes for every age group even as low as highschool. You also need more income to live in a better area so if that means going back to school or finding a second job that is what you have to do.
Also we are living in a global world so as women we have to compete with other women for quality guys try to take care of your health and body. If that means getting out of the dating scene for a year thats what u do to prepare yourself to be marketable.

Anonymous said...

@ anonymous 9:43

You are correct when you say we live in a global community. AA women have no other choice, we must compete for quaility men in the global community.

We already know bm are on dating sites hunting for other race women.

Therefore, AA women MUST take a cue and market themselves for other race men or else die alone.
Not, me.

lois

Anonymous said...

2nd thought,

I do not understand why more bw do not see what I see...There are some many handsome and employed other race men. LOL, I could just reach out and touch somebody.

Faith said...

And yet people want to argue, debate and dictate what we do when they're not trying to water us down to the point of BWE being useless. People that want to thrive pu tin the necessary work and are willing to learn new ways that may be unfamiliar to them. I keep thinking if our ancestors could survive slavery and colonialism why is walking out of an open door so darn difficult? The mental blocks are scary as well as the lack of fortitude.

Anonymous said...

I am a lurker,I have read many of your articles. I have left the so called black community mentally. I am on my journey and others who will not make this change will be left by the waste side. Thank you for the wonderful information that you provide.

Anonymous said...

Hey Halima,

I got the impression that the celebrity hair dresser was calling the black man's white female companion a "n*****'s bitch". I thought the insult was towards Ben and a white woman. But you are right, he doesn't even discuss how that woman could have been harmed by the interaction. He didn't even attempt to defend her or himself in the face of an attack, by a man who appears harmless no less. I read that article a few days ago and I found it hard to read. I don't even want to read the comments on the Daily mail... The insult was there for sure but the writing style seemed so passive aggressive and unbecoming of an adult man-somebody just insulted you and your date and start listing off all the celebrities that were nearby? I guess this was his way of forcing him to come forward, I don't know... And he emphasized that he (the author) was from "Surry not Harlem" and how can a "white middle-class" (as if that should matter)...I finished reading the article and wasn't sure if it was made up for attention or what. The idiot has since come forward, but I would hate to be with that guy when I'm in danger...

Halima said...

thanks for the correction anonymous (he didnt mention his companions color and i missed the apostropher on N^&%.

Yes but way to go to not even give more than a single sentence attention to the insult suffered by the woman!

Lisa99 said...

And he emphasized that he (the author) was from "Surry not Harlem"

He mentioned a few other majority black cities in the United States as well... one of which I am from... and I wondered, what does THAT have to do with anything? So it's okay for black people from Harlem (or say, Brixton in the UK) to be called the "n" word, but not black people from Surrey? (I apologize, I do not know much about this area.)

I am sorry he was called that word, if his story is true, but I finished reading that article not feeling much sympathy for him AT ALL (which is unbelievable for me) because of the way he dismissed the sexist insult to his partner and the way he tried to separate himself from those other "dirty n's" (my interpretation) from the "mean streets" of those American cities he's mentioned.

I wonder if he's ever even visited said "mean streets" and met with any black people from those areas... likely not.

Anonymous said...

Lisa99,

Exactly! When I finished reading the article I was conflicted, not upset.

Halima,

He never explicitly stated his mate was white, it's an educated guess lol. At the very least, I don't think she is black. If she were black, I don't the racist wouldn't have bothered to call her the N word's B**** seeing as the N word could be used on her directly. I believe it was an act of aggression, really more towards woman than the man. Kinda like saying "what are you doing with him". I think. But after doing or saying NOTHING at the moment...and they guy who yelled the slur ain't much to look at...he decided to attempt to drum up support in the court of public opinion. Let's see how it pans out. They guy came forward and apologized. That should be the end of it I guess.

Pat said...

That's a good point that BWE need to uncouple themselves from the 'black community' and realign themselves with a community of their own making, full of people who want to support them and graciously receive support in return.

Black women need to learn to see themelves as 'women' who have the same needs as all women before seeing themselves as 'black'.

Amen.

Anonymous said...

I wsh other than soap's there are shows wih decent black women and men togther in the U.S without being sluts and sleeping with dudes on the first night and not so over sexualized ughhh

ak said...

Lisa99, I think, just saying what I think here, what the black British reporter from 'SURREY not Harlem' was trying to say is that he wasn't a rapper using the word 'nigga' every five seconds to describe himself, be it a Britsh rapper or American rapper, whatever. Surrey is a beautiful county right outside of London, where plenty of the upper-middle class live, although a couple of parts of it are a bit more working or lower-middle class, and the reporter comes from that 'private school-educated and grew up in Surrey' background.

This reporter was possibly saying, although I'm not a mind reader, that 'not all black people you see are like 50 Cent' but whatever that doesn't mean that Kate Moss's friend James Brown didn't know that and he was obviously trying to pull a 'John Galliano' as he thought it would get laughs, talking about 'how drunk he was' just as Galliano did.

But I can admire the Jewish people who know how to unify with their own in business, and for more power in general which is how and why a person like Galliano can get arrested or fined in France for anti-Semitism, but the heck do WE have, or have WE ever worked towards to insure the same kind of result?

Pat said...

Excellent post Halima! Where is Al Sharpton when you need him ...lol.

But seriously someone will step up eventually as a voice for black women cause God knows that those black women with the platform dont do it. It is just disgusing that no one and I mean no one has stepped up on our behalf thus far.

One of the problems with black women during this ordeal is no unity. Another is not really knowing who our friends are versus our enemies.

Sophie B said...

Hi,

I stumbled across your blog today and it brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you for giving a voice to those who have lost theirs.

I am also glad that you have addressed the feminists that hide behind the walls of academia, who use outdated rhetoric to address the unfair treatment of Black women in America today.

I am 28 years old and I had to leave Atlanta to get away from what I saw as the severe destruction of the Black woman. I wasn't raised around the Black community, meaning I didn't have many Black friends or went to a Black church.

When I went to college, that changed, because I befriended the Black and Caribbean people on campus. It led to a regression of my independence and my free-spirit as a woman. What I saw and experienced shocked me. I couldn't believe women in college were so consumed with only finding a man, a Black man, and were willing to destroy any Black woman they could in the process to do so. The hatred among Black girls on campus shocked me even more. It wasn't a normal degree of competition, it was destructive as it stunted their growth from young girls into strong women. I've realized however, that what Black women show in groups is not what they reveal in one-on-one conversation.

Yet, Black women today are in tears. They are hiding behind their tears because they don't think that anyone cares. Our women are holding on to a dream that a prince will come to rescue them, but the truth is that there are no princes that want to rescue Black women.

The Black community uses Black women as their beating sticks and the Black man has reduced himself to nothing more than a roaming sex organ.

Yet, I believe that for Black women to heal they must as you say leave the Black community, but they MUST also start to seek our their purposes as humans not only as women.

When we do that there is a wide world open to us in which we can grow intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. We will finally take our place with the rest of the world.