I once told a freind of mine that black women are the hardest folk to sell to particularly innovative products that make you effective in what you already do. This is because black women often do not have a plan to 'get ahead' of the pack. Note I said 'get ahead of the pack'. See there is the general, 'progressing in life', and there is the 'getting ahead of the pack'. Many black women do the former but have no clue re the later in fact many feel doing the later is somehow 'wrong'. Yep I was talking to a another freind about how someone plotted their course strategically to get what they wanted and she wrinkled her nose and said eww, as if the woman had done something immoral! lol. I reflected on how it is that this freind is 'where she is' in life.
Improving your fortunes beyond getting what is coming towards you 'naturally' even logically seems to be looked upon as an 'evil art' among bw. Other women however have aggressive plans to put themselves in front or on the map or out ahead. And so while black women wrinkle their noses as they zoom past, these women live the life.
You have to honestly get past the notion that strategically planning and plotting your success course to be ahead of your peers is wrong or evil. I live in a seriosuly class based society here and one of the ways that the class system is kept alive is by imparting a sense of 'wrongness' to the idea of striving and wanting to better oneself and be rich etc. There are all sorts of names used to describe the upper classes like 'toffs' etc, to confer the notion that nobody would want to be 'liek them'. But note that the 'toffs' are living better, healtheir and longer lives. Note that the upper classes already have the structure and norms, money and family arrangements and networks that make 'getting ahead', natural and normal. The working class doesnt and so anyone from the working class who wants to make it needs to be 'purposeful' in their actions and activities towards getting to the top, and it is this purpose that others are trying to stamp down by making it seem immoral to want to be rich etc! Replace I want to be rich with 'I want to live well, live healthier by having access to private health care, personal training, i want to buy my mother a house or give her that hip replacement operation she needs etc' and you might just shake loose that inculcated, 'slimy feeling' to the idea of wealth and riches that is really keeping you from the path to wealth.
Beacuse other women have agressive (and I dont mean they fight but they are dilligent), self elevation plans, they often inspire inventions and innovations to products. They in turn see a product and immediately know how they can 'plug it into' their current plans to give them the acceleration they need in any area.
Weightloss, body toning, dress, style, hair products etc, I am not so sure that black women are often left behind when it comes to innovation, because of racism and lack of numbers. I think as a group it is noted that we often do not respond appropraitely to innovation because, 'what we need that for anyway'. We are not looking to overtake and move out in front so we dont know what to do with some of these 'inventions'. Indeed it is only those who are working some plan that see the reason why they should have a stronger rope, stronger ship, car or what have you.
Many black women have internalized the idea that 'we are to be at the back', not in so many words but as an inchoate notion, like a slight beat they march their lives to (this is one reason why I tell black women to fully think through some of the feelings they respond ardently to because often the fully crystallized idea is one of black women's inferiority but many of us dont acertain this because we are happy to subcribe to 'unsquared' logic, feelings, impressions than really understand the full idea being presented).
I know that many others are involved in pushing black women back in line when they do poke up their heads and want to aim for the front of the queue. From infancy, they find a way to 'quell' any inherent striving for the 'front' that a young black girl may be displaying by making this desire out to be bad even inordinate for a black woman. They may even laugh or mock her or magnify a little set back so she doesnt try again. I have seen even black women who sense that a young black girl is 'reving' her engines come up to her and 'tuck' her back into the ranks. I have seen black women respond to me in this way and 'act out' when I refuse to step back into the black woman's 'formation'.
The saddest thing is that sometimes it is not malicious, this is just bw 'knowing their place.' People even black women have a 'place' they think black women should occupy and black women come along and enforce it and reinforce it in any advice, suggestion, even allocation they give to you as a black woman.
You must recognize that the signifcant portion of black women are acting like robots in terms of their place and position in society and you must understand that unlike them, you have a plan to get to the front, and so you must wisely manouver and trick them till you are there or else they will thwart your plans!
Yes this is not the pretty nice PC talk that refuses to even mention the ugly side of sisterhood. Remeber many are just autopilots in these issues and would even be offended if you pointed out that you are seeing a pattern in how they are reacting to you the black woman and how they are positioning you for less and lack. They would jump up all indignant, and their white liberal freinds would even add their 'how could you accuse them of such a dreadful thing' comments. But you know and you see, therefore dont say much, just put a mental distance if not physical distance between you and them. As Jesus said, 'They know not what they do!'
The unexamined is the enemy of black woman because naturally we are allocated for 'less', therefore anything people just do without thought, any ideas that they think sounds sensible for you, is likely to be aligning itself eith the general notions that permeate society about how black women are due less etc.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding (proverbs 23:23)
I am of the firm belief that this scripture was written especially for black women. Black wonen are surrounded by wrong advice and wrong advsers deliberate and otherwise. They are swimming in a sea of it, mothers, fathers, pastors, counsellors, yes even those who are suppose to be giving the right advice when it comes to black women, something 'kicks in' and the advice changes to one which is meant to secure black women in lack and limitation. There seems to be an inherent need inbuilt into society and all societal agents to steer black women 'wrong'. The fear that black women might just pull away from their subservient role in society and kick off folks riding on her back, is real and deep.
I expect any serious black woman to spend a significant portion of rescources on getting the right advice. i would even go as far as to suggest that black women avoid black information portals (those that position themselves to be speaking from the black perspective not like BWE who are challenging anything up to 90% of what passes for black 'wisdom' ). These black portals want to keep their class of slaving black women and any and everything they say to you will aim to keep you locked in this position.
The black woman serious about her future needs to be a researcher, a woman who never plays with wisdom but would rather skip two meals in a row to buy wisdom! When I see black women quibble over $200 for a book or service that she needs, I know they are not ready for victory. When you need something, you make sacrifices, work the extra hours, etc to get the information that will take you to the next level. You are not going to get to the next level in life holding tightly to money when you need to use it as a tool to get to your future. Invest in your mind, in information, counsellors, trainers, gurus, innovative products and solutions...I dont care if it costs you $1,000! Someone out there has the innovative solution to solve that issue blighting your life. Yes do your research well, but I would happily spend $50 on a product that didnt work on my way to a product that does! Whats 50 bucks to you moving to the next level in life.
And to that commentor that said that $200 match maker service is expensive, way to miss the point. I wonder whether you have made any progress in your search while holding tight to your money. Indeed thats the point, many of you who have a death grip on money are not doing anything towards reaching their goals in other ways!
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