You are the black community that you are looking outside of yourself to save!
Most black women get up, get an education, get a job and then they think, 'Now I must do my bit for the black community.' They ask, 'where is the next black community project so I might get stuck in saving or rescuing black folk.' What these black women do not realize is that 'they' are the black community that they are always looking outside themselves to save!
Think about that for a second. You are the black community you are looking outside to save.
You've heard the saying, 'The Kingdom of God is within you'. Its so apt a statement in this particular case.
Let me show you how this one works.
Say half a million black women suddenly 'got it' and realized that they are the black community they are always looking outside themselves to save, and that their first loyalty is to self and that all they need to do is secure themselves and their own situation financially and otherwise, find the best deal for them and their children who they plan to have in the best possible circumstances etc, and this is essentially all they need to do to 'uplift' the black community then guess what will happen in about ten years...
Ten years later they have children who are thriving and poised to be launched into the best in terms of what they can access in our society. These women are less stressed and their health is better, they have head space to look after their health unlike women who have their offspring in less than optimal circumstances and have to work three jobs and have no time for personal care even time to spend one on one time with their children.
In another twenty years there are over a million children from these mothers who are 'well adjusted', have the right values to succeed and thrive in the current social set up etc etc. The upwards spiral is thus in effect for this subgroup of black women and the children they have.
See how this goes.
On the other side are black women who 'dont get it', they continue things the way they are; squandering the advantages they have acquired by applying themselves to their studies by getting entangled in draining domestic situations that diminsh them, their offspring and cut off any potential they or their children might have. Their have their self esteem trashed so much so they begin to suffer other self esteem related issues eg mental health conditions, lack of confidence, overeating to cope with the disdain of black women and racio-misogyny they see around them, to also deal with the stress and pressure and rejection and the mule role they have been pushed into.
These women and their children will often require goverment assistance or their children have a high chance of ending up in the prison system.
Yes many of these women think they are 'elevating/helping out their black people' in the limits they place on themselves (we will not avail ourselves of interracial dating options) and the choices they allow themselves to make, or they are dissipating their rescources and the time they will never get back, camping at black churches or participating in activites that just end up counting for nought because the fundamental ingredients to bring the desired outcome are just not there (participating black men, parents that are participating in their cihildrens academic lives).
The irony (or should I say paradox according to popular wisdom) of it all is that given the current social reality of black women, those who look after themselves and are single minded about getting the best for them just cant help raising the next generation to be vibrant and to take their place as fully functioning members of society. The other camp who might even be working hard and pouring themselves out, and doing double shifts trying to help out the black situation end up in the center of a dynamic that leads them to have negative returns all round.
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I do no belong to a black community, I belong to myself period. I made certain choices in my life, this include the right to live well and evolved emotional amd physically. The women who choose to be weight down with nonsense will always make excuses for destructive behavior. I myself do not interact with these people and they can be members of my own family. Thank you for this thoughtful article.
Well put and this is the main reason why I avoid certain family members who don't have their shit together. My whole family is practically dysfunctional on some level and to avoid stress I avoid most family get togethers. This seems standoffish to some but being diabetic I try to stay away from certain situations.
Thank you! I have been saying the same thing for some years now, Black Women ARE the Black Community. We are more educated, own more Homes, are excelling in the workplace, own more businesses, and single handedly keep the Family together. The power is in our hands. We are in the position to decide who we give our money, time and hearts to. We must keep enlightening one another. Thank you for all you are doing to educate the Sisters.
We have more resources. I was reading Acts of Faith blog and she mentioned we are a 1.2 trillion powerhouse. We have been doing it for a long time. Rest assured that our children and family memebers know when they graduate or when they are promoted, for the most part a BW be it the mother , grandmother or auntie had some hand in it. We have some much value
it is something to be treasured and respected.
There is something worth mentioning here that has negatively affected the black population worldwide...MENTAL ILLNESS which often goes unrecognized,unacknowledged and untreated due to religious and cultural reasons. Then everyone in the community especially the children and families becomes collateral damage.
There is no depression in blacks .... drug addiction is due to the evils of white people...black men owe nothing to the "community"...black women owe everything even their well being or very lives must be sacrificed.
Just thinking,
Jacque
Great post.You really do have a way with words
Your post kind of reminds me of something biblical.
I read this post and thought of the scripture in the bible that says "And with many other words did he testify and exhort, saying, Save yourselves from this untoward generation"
anytime I read your posts and that of Khadija,Faith,Evia and others I always think of the above scripture.
Also "Do not cast your pearls to swine".
Post a Comment