In this day and age when youth is worshipped, what benefits are there to having a few more years on the clock?
I will tell you two, and the first is that by being older you would have developed an understanding of yourself and how your mental and physical and indeed emotional systems work to be able to have the necessary control you need to take life forward.
The next benefit is that you would have hopefully developed your own self-composing and self-assuring and indeed self-soothing and calming routines. In other words you have your emotions and reactions in check and tucked in!
I will illustrate by saying that you will understand better how you learn, how best to study (coffee at 45 mins interval), how a hat tilted to the left is more flattering, how a white house interior is draining of your creative energies, how not reading anything the day before your exam is better for your performance, that you are likely to come down with a cold if your feet get cold etc etc. All these understanding of how you perform, your emotional interior comes with time and trial and error over the years. This is your edge.
How detailed is your self-map?
Black men and women cannot be 'saved' together. This is because black women putting any effort into uplifting black men is simply making black men better able to crush down black women. Its like feeding your tormentor!
Too proud to ask for directions
I have noticed that there is a push back to 'Is marriage for white people', coming from a faction of black women who feel that no one should be focussing on us or and intsructing black women on what to do re relationships, and that we should be left alone. I can agree that yes it does get tiresome to be in focus (although I dont think that bw have been focussed on more in this regard considering that we had 'Sex and the City', on for over ten years, focussing on the issues of unmarried white women, and also by virtue of the fact that our own situation is extreme there is naturally going to be some focus attention!), however this position suggests that black women have it all together, but that is far from the truth.
Black women are not getting it right, if they were then the astronomical number of singleness would not be there for all to see. I am uncomfortable with the 'dont focus on us' position because it traps black women in their problem, it is saying to black women 'just keep doing what you are doing'. Yet black women are NOT doing well so yes they do need some instructions and things pointed out.
Because black women havent made the grade and they live in a strongly mind guarded place, thousands of us wouldnt mind some advice, guidance, direction or plain laying things out in the open for us to see and make a clear choice for our futures.
I will also add that, there is a time for wearing sack cloth, we might as well get it over with so we can move on?
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