Friday, December 09, 2011

Early December - some thoughts

Black unity proponents would want us to believe
this is how black men and women are positioned towards each other
                         This is really how bm and bw are positioned
                                                        re each other; black women in supplicatory posture begging
                                                        for black men to be with them and help them build black unity
They (black unity proponents) will need to explain how building a thriving black group can be possible given this situation. When black unity proponents (people who preach about blacks coming together) try to recruit you or get you sympathetic tothe idea of black people coming together, try not to enagage with their idea 'emotionally' try instead to pin it down realistically by looking at what the situation/conditions are now and how these either make the goal possible or impossible. 

Many folk run around talking black unity, fixing black people etc without enagaing with the idea on a relaitic level, its a fun idea an emotionally warm idea to them and so it remains, just an illusion!                        

A recent study on the UK Riots
A few days ago I caught the late news show on the BBC discussing a study on the recent riots that happened in the UK. The guardian newspaper had done a study and the interpretations of the study were that it was all about people feeling discrimnated against (well a good portion of them anyway), by police who got a dishonorable mention. The counter argument which I think is pretty solid is that of course they would be unhappy with police given that 2/3rds had criminal records anyway!

Anyway the main thing that caught my attention was the little clip they showed of the 'peaceful' demonstration that acted as the spark for the riots. The clip showed as we can all guess by now, a lot of irate black women chanting, 'what do we want...', 'when do we want it...'

It is not I suppose any suprise to readers of this and other black women empowernment blogs that black women are always in the forfront of all these 'defend bm' activities (the young black man who was shot and whose death triggered the whole riots was actually mixed race but I am not sure which parent is white) despite that fact that they are disproportionately victims of black men and no black man would ever put together a protest on their behalf.

Anyway to me the main thing that stood out was that these women were demonstrating essentially because the police had done the shooting. I say this because there is a high homicide rate in that area. Black boys kill each other at a alarming rate yet apart from the yearly peace walk, I dont see black women taking to the streets. The other thing is that the most recent police shootings have actually been of white men, yet we havent yet seen whites mobilize and put on a 'protest' of some sort. It seems that black women and the men in the protest march are saying that black young men are not to be shot by police under any circumstances (indeed they can kill each other but police should not!). This is very concerning because under certain circumstances, the police are allowed to use lethal force. For instance if I walked into a supermarket waving a gun and if I refuse to be talked out of my actions that I can expect that the police will look to use lethal force at some point, thus it isnt really valid to demonstrate against a police shooting, that is unless it has been investigated and found that the person was unlawfully killed. By the time there was a protest march no invetsigation had been done around the circumstances for the shooting! Instead of waiting to find out how and why Mark Duggen was shot, folk took to the street in a 'peaceful protest'. Peaceful protest of what I ask?

The truth is sections of the society are allowed to have juvenile responses and the failed black leadership show they are failed by refusing to challenge this behaviour. Instead they have joined in a wrong headed activity that has lead to the losse of lives, home and property and smeered the image of the UK.

What I overheard in the Library
It seems to me that racism has come to be popularly defined as not letting black men get their way!

I was at my local library the other day and overheard two Asian school girls talking vigorously about how racist some parents were for not wanting their daughter to marry or date a black guy. Now I dont know the details, it could even be that the parents were worried because of traits they had seen in the boy and not necessarily because of the color (it happens but this worry about the person is always conflated with parents being racist because of color). The way these young girls were going on like these parents are just the scum of the earth and 'ewwwww', you could have thought it had something to do with them personally. They seemed pretty cut up about it all!

It took me back to a time when on a bus I heard three black girls make a comment along the same lines ie that someone was racist for not letting a black guy date them or something of that nature, and you know what the amazing thing was here, this comment didnt come out of the blues, it was prompted when an interracial couple made up of a black school girl and a white school boy passed by our stationary bus. This sight was so uncommon in those days and still is now, that it spurred a discussion, but rather than this discussion being about black grils themselves eg how black girls are not dating  white boys or racism affecting black girls, these girls immediately started the discussion from the point of black boys naturally and automatically as if it just wasnt something about them and their issue too!

I remember feeling worried that at that age black girls had learned to write themselves out of the picture so swiftly. This was a clear instance for them to put themselves in the frame but they brushed it aside and centered black boys and their problems in dating white girls (which cant be that much give the levels of interracial dating between black boys and white girls then and now).

Black boys have carried out a real effective PR campaign for some years now that they are the victims especially when people dont let them have their way.

I am sure those Asian girls have come across black boys who say they dont date black girls and trash black girls in their presence (because it is a comon affair now), yet somehow in peoples minds this does not register as racism, i dont hear the wider society, white girls even Asian girls critique this comom attitude in black boys, instead the same black boys are 'victims' when others shun them. Indeed I am yet to hear one outside voice comment on this foul behaviour (except a few white men in private forums) insetad the black boys are always victims of others even as chief victimizers themselves.

Very curious very curious!

Wondering about Interracial dating?

I have written an e-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!

Questions to be sent to:


Anonymous said...

I truly think that the smear campaign has gone on for so long, that those young black girls probably had never considered themselves as realistic partners for anyone EXCEPT for black boys/men.

And yes, a lot of people think nothing of black men slandering black women, partly because it is even a form of music! (Hip-Hop, Rap). The radio is filled with illiterate Knee-groes from the projects shouting about black women being... well any and everything and they get PAID for it. Anyway, folks are okay with BM being the victim. WM, AM, LM, know that in terms of ownership, BM are not the competition in anything except athletics. WW, AW, LW, every other ethnicity of women are okay with BW NOT being the victims because we ARE competition for their greatest resource, their PRODUCTIVE and RESPONSIBLE men.

The reason that some BW are so loud about being "down for black men", is that if they didn't, a lot of black men wouldn't pay them any attention at all! Some of this has to be attributed to the mass of fatherless communities (i.e. looking for black male approval to make up for what was missing growing up), and the other part of only being down for black men is to make sure that other black women know that they won't be "welcome" in their group if they date out.


joyful said...

Anonymous 1:24 makes a good point about other races of women. They really eat up any commentary about how undesirable black women are, I mean they relish it. IF BW really were so ugly, there wouldn't be a need to harp on it! They are so threatened by the prospect of BW waking up and marrying up.

I've been pondering something odd that I have noticed, and I think I've got it figured out. Some background: My kids are half white, a quarter black, and a quarter Japanese. The two youngest have light brown hair, while the eldest has black hair. Their features are very Asian, and they are light-skinned. In fact, my daughter is paler than the fully Asian girls in her class.

Anyway, here's what I have observed. When WM see me with my children, they tend to assume that their father is a WM. They go out of their way to treat me as a woman in their fold- opening doors, giving lots of compliments on the kids, and cutting corners for me when they can.

Many WW, on the other hand, will bend over backwards to point out that my kids are part Asian (like I don't know this already!!)if they get close enough to look at their faces and see their features. Many WW who just pass by quickly give me "gas face" and keep on going, which leads me to believe that they think the kids are only a black/white mix. The ones who see and comment on the Asian ancestry get real chatty and happy about it.

I think these women get scared when they think the kids are just black/white, because losing out on a productive and responsible WM to a BW is their worst fear. But most WW have neutered AM in their minds, so it's an enormous relief to think I'm NOT in competition for one of their men, WM.

As much as they love to jump on BW and drag us down, inside themselves they KNOW that we can beat them hands down in a fair competition for mates.

Also, I think some WM do pick up on the kids' being blasian, BUT they think a BW who is willing to marry an AM would also be open to a WM, so it's a green light by proxy lol.

Joyful said...

Halima, you are so correct that never would black men organize in defense of black women. I recall last year seeing some footage shot in France, of white police officers physically dragging African women away from a building. Their permission to remain there had been revoked, and the women (refugees I think) had been assigned a new place to live. Well, the women wanted to remain and so they were standing outside of the building chanting. Ladies, I saw an African woman with an INFANT strapped to her back, get slammed to the ground on TOP of the baby, and dragged by her legs by a white police officer. That poor baby was getting abused in the process.

Do you think there was one single black man in sight? No, of course not. They were all too busy chasing white women and tending to their own personal pleasures. The fathers of those black children were off doing god knows what while men of another race were beating and manhandling those women and children in full public view.

Tell me please, what other race of men would simply not care at ALL when men of another race are treating their women and children like that? Let some white men come and manhandle Asian women in the streets and see what happens. Let some black men start manhandling white women in the streets and see what happens. It would not be tolerated for more than a minute.

Functional men care about the safety of their women and children, but black men only care about black women and children when they can USE them for something. How many protests have we seen where black women rush into the streets to speak out in favor of a criminal no account black man? And yet black men won't provide even the most basic measures of provision, protection and problem solving.

Black Dating Experiment said...

You spoke the truth. Black men have such disdain for black women it is unthinkable that they would ever protest on their behind but time after time black women are in the forefront proving their loyalty to men (in general) that couldn't give a stuff about them. Check out my blog. Some more stark home truths.

Melissa Q said...

Black Women have been written out of the black community. We are only there to breed out the race. In fact, I would say that the misogyny faced by BW is 10x worse as the ones faced by WW because WM protect them collectively. That is why the WM police in France did that. They knew that they were not legal and that no group of men would go after them about treating their women properly. In fact, if those police officers get punished, it will be because the WM and WW protested for them, not BM.

Anonymous said...

This habit some BM have of demeaning and disrepecting BW to women of other races really is upsetting. Now there are unattractive WW walking around thinking they trump the most beautiful BW simply because they are white.ITA with Joyous about WW when they notice a BW with biracial children. I was with my daughter at a salon before picture day and a WW walked in with her biracial daughter, but the way she stared at my daughter and me you would have thought she had never seen a biracial child before.

Anonymous said...

I think about that too joyful. Same with my kids. Everybody wants to assume all bi people come from a ww bm combo that when they see a black woman with a biracial child they refuse to fathom another race of man found a bw attractive enough to make kids with. I was thinking of this in terms of media on how celebrities with mixed ancestory on moms side are upheld and spotlighted. I notice mixed females with black on the mothers side are largely ignored. Suspicious.

Out of Darkness said...

@ Anonymous

She has a biracial child....and she staring at you and yours.....LOLOLOL. She probably thinks you snat
ched the child...LOL

Anonymous said...

this was a painful realisation of sorts for me. more often than not, i have to remind myself that i am my first priority. that i am the one that i have been waiting for outside of myself.

Welcome said...

@Black Dating Experiment Wow! Just Wow! Just checked out your blog. That is some crazy ish, but it needs to be done. Thanks to you and your sister for doing this. BW really need this. To see the proof for those who don't want to believe (and even then your going to have the ones trying to fix black love/unity etc.) and those that feel something is wrong, but can't put a finger on it. Again

"The reason that some BW are so loud about being "down for black men", is that if they didn't, a lot of black men wouldn't pay them any attention at all! Some of this has to be attributed to the mass of fatherless communities (i.e. looking for black male approval to make up for what was missing growing up), and the other part of only being down for black men is to make sure that other black women know that they won't be "welcome" in their group if they date out."

That's what I feel too. This probably started way before the 90's, but it seems like the 90's had more of this. I think on some level BW knew something was wrong. Hell even black fathers in the past (and ones today who are in the home or at least in their kids lives) were teaching them to get educations, now how to basically take care of themselves, because I think they started to see the writing on the wall. Many men I've talked with say you become more aware of things that wouldn't have after you have a daughter.

joyful said...

I have noticed the disparity in how biracial people are discussed, too. When the parents are WW/BM, the media pounds it home, but when the parents are WM/BW, it's like a state secret. You need to be like 007 to find out.

Same thing with celebrities and their love interests. When a WM celebrity or public person chooses a BW for his wife, it's never discussed. In fact, photos of events will be strategically shot to make it appear as if the man were there alone!!!

But every DBR loser who used his money to buy a WW gets FULL photo arrays that show him cheesing over his trophy.

I keep making this point in different places, because I know that lots of BW really NEED to hear it and internalize it. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. If we were really not attractive to other races of men (yes, ALL races of men), then there would be no need to try and keep it secret when we marry out. There would be no need to smear us. There would be no need to post all these "Nobody wants Black Women Because of these 10k reasons" articles.

ak said...

White media was made by whites FOR whites. No matter what they'll keep the image of their women as positive or mostly positive as they can make it. If other races of men help them out by making their women look even more desirable or better, they will use it these days, especially the WW themselves who want to appear as the very best! (Are you mad?)

This must be why even though in the USA, so many WM especially in the cities, go crazy for the AW, marry them and have kids with them, Hollywood movies still don't reflect this by and large EVER.

Those romcoms look pretty white-on-white to me still! LOL And Lucy Liu yes the'll show her with a WM love interest but recently she's gone AWOL. A few months ago a British Sunday supplement magazine, or some other British magazine had Lucy Liu on the cover of it and in her interview in it she says she's ben an artist or a sculptor lately, and may move to London for a short while to continue doing her art and promoting it.

Well I don't see any other AW actresses out there replacing her at all, and what Hollywood might do is have some random AW actress on screen in a movie for a few minutes with a white boyfriend character and then she's gone in a blink of an eye!

Because it's not Asian media, made by them, for them.

Cassie said...

Happy New Year.

Love your posts Halima. This one hit the mark.

I was horrified when watching BBC News and seeing videos of Black men attacking each other on Oxford Street. I believe one Black man was stabbed to death.

I didn't care about the Black men at all, but was horrified that shoppers were casually walking by. I'm trying to figure out if the shoppers were so frightened by the sight of Black men gone wild that they simply tried to ignore the situation.

Have British people become so frightened of Black hooligans that they will see criminal behavior taking place right before them and just ignore the situation altogether?

And where are the Black "leaders" condemning Black hooligans when they act out in public -- including literally killing each other on public streets?