You all know what I am talking about. The ones where bw aid bm even sacrifice themselves into the bargain in this ongoing ‘besting’ contest black men have going with white men (that many white men are not even involved in but can vaguely sense). These games will just come back to haunt black women.
I was on a radio panel sometime last year and we were discussing mixed race relationship. A black man calls in and starts talking about how white women want them because of their ‘sexual prowess.’
Now this is not any original thinking as far as most of us are concerned, we all know and have observed how black men love to tout how they are ‘longer and stronger.’ However this guy went further than all that and started to talk about how that 'white women are the most feminine of women' and so it ‘isn’t any wonder’ that the most feminine of the races would gravitate to the most masculine of males!
So, this man in his bid to elevate black masculinity did not hesitate to throw black womanhood under the bus, taking an image shattering ‘swipe’ at black women’s femininity to do so.
Now folks I was waiting for the black female host and co hosts to recognize and acknowledge how this man had torn down black women or shall we say marched all over black women to reach for his ‘king of all males’ crown and how that this is standard operating procedure now for black men, to think nothing of tearing down black women in their self aggrandizement bid.
I am sure you all can guess that these black women either ignored the clear swipe at black females femininity or they somehow couldn’t compute that this was what this man had done (as I have once mentioned, there is this ‘powering down’ of black women’s mental faculties once it is time to see really what black men and the black community are all about, all the clues and signs simply don’t add up or are carefully skipped!). Yes there is this intentional ‘going blank’ for the few seconds when black men show their true colors or their intention shines through, so that these black women can seamlessly continue in their ‘black unity’ daze.
When I challenged this man by noting how amazing it was, that black men were now happy to tout the Mandingo stereotype, do you know what this brain dead host said? She that blatantly ignored the clear swipe at black womanhood, suddenly found her voice and like a well trained zombie, came out ‘in defence of black men’, saying ‘why shouldn’t we talk about sexual prowess if it is a factor’.
See, the well trained black female zombie has been conditioned to react to the things she has been told she has to react to and let fall any others as instructed even sheer attacks on their dignity and their self esteem!The well trained female warrior zombie will come out fighting for even the black man who has taken time out to pulverize her self esteem on his onward journey to self elevation. In fact he will aim a kick and then turn round and ask her to get up of the floor and assist him in his selfish pursuit and she will do just that! Battered woman syndrome indeed!
Can you all see how black women have become like ‘indulgent mother’ to black men, humouring them and putting up with these men are taking chunks out of their self esteem?
I will say this here, any black woman who wants to thrive must note that the sheer bulk of black womanhood (anything in excess of 90%) is not empowered in fact is dangerously self negating; therefore you must purposefully disconnect yourself from the vast majority of your black female counterparts to survive! I am pretty serious about this!
The truth is that if your life, interests, concerns, preoccupation, lifestyle, pastimes, and thinking is aligned with that of 90% of black women, then you will share their fate which is as it stands at the moment, limited, unfulfilled lives filled with struggle, self imposed problems. Do an inventory about how your life and thinking compares to that of other black woman and if you are where the bulk are, you will have a limited life.
Change the dynamic
Try this experiment this month
Whenever you are in a situation where black men in their subtle way, are trying to elevate themselves above white or other men, in an ever so subtle way yourself, twist it round so you are complimenting other men.
For instance say you are having a conversation in a group of different races and genders and the white man is positioned as the wicked wolf. Say something like, ‘Well I don’t know about that, I think white men have come a long way, thanks to the efforts of feminists and feminism (you are tactfully putting this down to external factors), white men have responded very well. Say something like, 'The result I see is white men are more sentitive and modern in their responses to woman', add that other women of other races and other cultures are still struggling to get their men to move half way what white men have moved!' or even simply, 'White men have adjusted admirably to the 21st century woman'.. and let the rest be implied.
Employ humour and levity (ie dont make this a serious discussion but more like a throw away comment).
Now watch and note the responses and reactions of all around.
Find other similar ways of throwing a spanner in the works of black mens ego inflating activities ( its a no brainer in many instances) and watch the toxicity it unleashes on the situation dissipate and note how quickly the milieu becomes a healthy one for all participants!
other examples are
- I dont really listen to RnB, in truth I enjoy Country and Western, I dig the whole cowboy vibe
- I think real men dont need swagger they are just quitely effective
- etc etc
Many of you are searching for ways to get black men's choke hold off from black women's necks, when the answer is simple and staring you in the face!
Gain insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, and find out more about the Interracial Option, read the IR E-book
Questions to be sent to: firstname.lastname@example.org