Tuesday, July 20, 2010

These little Games....

These little games bw play in colluding with black men to win some kind of macho war against white men (i.e. taking pot shots at white men’s masculinity or allowing black men to use them to score points against white men’s masculinity) will only come back to bite black women in the butt big time!

You all know what I am talking about. The ones where bw aid bm even sacrifice themselves into the bargain in this ongoing ‘besting’ contest black men have going with white men (that many white men are not even involved in but can vaguely sense). These games will just come back to haunt black women.

I was on a radio panel sometime last year and we were discussing mixed race relationship. A black man calls in and starts talking about how white women want them because of their ‘sexual prowess.’

Now this is not any original thinking as far as most of us are concerned, we all know and have observed how black men love to tout how they are ‘longer and stronger.’ However this guy went further than all that and started to talk about how that 'white women are the most feminine of women' and so it ‘isn’t any wonder’ that the most feminine of the races would gravitate to the most masculine of males!

So, this man in his bid to elevate black masculinity did not hesitate to throw black womanhood under the bus, taking an image shattering ‘swipe’ at black women’s femininity to do so.

Now folks I was waiting for the black female host and co hosts to recognize and acknowledge how this man had torn down black women or shall we say marched all over black women to reach for his ‘king of all males’ crown and how that this is standard operating procedure now for black men, to think nothing of tearing down black women in their self aggrandizement bid.

I am sure you all can guess that these black women either ignored the clear swipe at black females femininity or they somehow couldn’t compute that this was what this man had done (as I have once mentioned, there is this ‘powering down’ of black women’s mental faculties once it is time to see really what black men and the black community are all about, all the clues and signs simply don’t add up or are carefully skipped!). Yes there is this intentional ‘going blank’ for the few seconds when black men show their true colors or their intention shines through, so that these black women can seamlessly continue in their ‘black unity’ daze.

When I challenged this man by noting how amazing it was, that black men were now happy to tout the Mandingo stereotype, do you know what this brain dead host said? She that blatantly ignored the clear swipe at black womanhood, suddenly found her voice and like a well trained zombie, came out ‘in defence of black men’, saying ‘why shouldn’t we talk about sexual prowess if it is a factor’.

See, the well trained black female zombie has been conditioned to react to the things she has been told she has to react to and let fall any others as instructed even sheer attacks on their dignity and their self esteem!The well trained female warrior zombie will come out fighting for even the black man who has taken time out to pulverize her self esteem on his onward journey to self elevation. In fact he will aim a kick and then turn round and ask her to get up of the floor and assist him in his selfish pursuit and she will do just that! Battered woman syndrome indeed!

Can you all see how black women have become like ‘indulgent mother’ to black men, humouring them and putting up with these men are taking chunks out of their self esteem?

I will say this here, any black woman who wants to thrive must note that the sheer bulk of black womanhood (anything in excess of 90%) is not empowered in fact is dangerously self negating; therefore you must purposefully disconnect yourself from the vast majority of your black female counterparts to survive! I am pretty serious about this!

The truth is that if your life, interests, concerns, preoccupation, lifestyle, pastimes, and thinking is aligned with that of 90% of black women, then you will share their fate which is as it stands at the moment, limited, unfulfilled lives filled with struggle, self imposed problems. Do an inventory about how your life and thinking compares to that of other black woman and if you are where the bulk are, you will have a limited life.

Change the dynamic
Try this experiment this month

Whenever you are in a situation where black men in their subtle way, are trying to elevate themselves above white or other men, in an ever so subtle way yourself, twist it round so you are complimenting other men.

For instance say you are having a conversation in a group of different races and genders and the white man is positioned as the wicked wolf. Say something like, ‘Well I don’t know about that, I think white men have come a long way, thanks to the efforts of feminists and feminism (you are tactfully putting this down to external factors), white men have responded very well. Say something like, 'The result I see is white men are more sentitive and modern in their responses to woman', add that other women of other races and other cultures are still struggling to get their men to move half way what white men have moved!' or even simply, 'White men have adjusted admirably to the 21st century woman'.. and let the rest be implied.

Employ humour and levity (ie dont make this a serious discussion but more like a throw away comment).

Now watch and note the responses and reactions of all around.

Find other similar ways of throwing a spanner in the works of black mens ego inflating activities ( its a no brainer in many instances) and watch the toxicity it unleashes on the situation dissipate and note how quickly the milieu becomes a healthy one for all participants!

other examples are
  • I dont really listen to RnB, in truth I enjoy Country and Western, I dig the whole cowboy vibe
  • I think real men dont need swagger they are just quitely effective
  • etc etc

 Many of you are searching for ways to get black men's choke hold off from black women's necks, when the answer is simple and staring you in the face!

Gain insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, and find out more about the Interracial Option, read the IR E-book
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com

50 comments:

Bellydancer said...

A couple of months ago right after I started to visit the BWE boards I was on another board when the subject of IR dating came up and a female poster said she did not want to date wm because of their penis sizes, they were crazy etc.. and I replied to her that was something that bm bought up to discourage bw from dating wm. This woman snarled at me "F you""You don't know me' I snarled right back "back at you bitch, I don't won't to know you"" stop being a mammy guard dog for these bm" she then replied back "I will defend black men" of course all the bm on the board was taking her side. It amazed me that she got so defensive because of what I said that she cussed me out. So yeah some of these bw are just as messed up as these bm. Had a stereotype been mentioned about bm going to jail all the time all hell would have broken loose.

Anonymous said...

You are right about this one cuz i see this mess go on alot in the black-male dog house do these bw really think these b,b,d rat's got there backs oh-just wait til time come around open up to them cuz i'll bet you this when thier done using them and go after what they really want watch all the crying you'll see come out oh bm this and bm that oh god help us just watch it and see cuz the snake is coming back to eat his pray-hole black-women with a mind play it safe don't be like the lost coon bm are just using them for thier on gain so they can be with there ww oh and wm do see this stuff thats going with bm.

TruthBTold said...

Anyone with half a brain can see through these weak little games that impotent black boys play.

White men, Arab men, and East Asian men enslaved black males for centuries. In fact, the black male is still held as a slave in various Muslim countries to this day.

Modern black males have allowed themselves to be forever wounded by the fact that they were demasculinized and owned. In a patriarchal world (the world we live in) it is the height of humiliation for a man to be conquered by another more powerful man. Especially a man from an outside group/race.

In a world ruled by men, men traditionally subdue women.

For a man to be subdued by another man feels tantamount to rape.

Thus you have urban black males pretending to be "hypermasculine" (lol) with the thug look and menacing swagger. The complete OPPOSITE of their actual position in society and the world even.

They're powerless and dependent which creates the compulsion to appear to be strong and in control.

It's a self-defense mechanism and nothing more.

Smoke and mirrors in the purest form.

The fact that black men (we must remember that the BM focus 100% on what happened to BM during slavery/colonization without concern what so ever to what happened to BW) were basically thoroughly f*cked over by WM (and other non BM) for centuries has created this desire to so called "get back at the man".

This is an all consuming compulsion with most BM wherever they reside on this earth.

BM know that they cannot compete with WM (or any other men) on the global stage for power, wealth, influence, prestige, or anything else for that matter.

Because people (not sluts and whores but normal people) judge men based on what they've accomplished and the standard of living they've provided for their women and children. Not on their private parts.

The kind of culture/environment a man creates for his people is what determines international respect or disdain.

BM on an international stage have created UNLIVABLE cultures and environments for women, children, and even themselves.

TruthBTold said...

That's why black men are clamoring and risking their lives to immigrate to majority white countries where WM predominate. NOBODY is risking life and limb trying to be immigrate to countries where BM predominate. INCLUDING BM and their mammy groupies.

So, OF COURSE BM are going to try with all their might to hold on to this one lie that gives them some semblance of being male. The Mandingo myth created by racist WM to dehumanize them and justify their enslavement.

They have NOTHING else but this lie to hold on to which gives them some sense of being male and in control.

They speak a white man's language. They eat food mass produced by companies owned by WM. When they shoot each other, WM surgeons stitch them up. White police officers enforce the law. Laws written by WM.

Basically, BM feel "under siege" by WM therefor they feel compelled to "strike back". The only way BM know how to "strike back" (lol) (because they either don't have or don't know how to use intelligence to BUILD something positive which would be a TRUE threat to white supremacy) is by sexing the minority of non BW who will have anything to do with them.

But the problem (for BM) is, WM have and will ALWAYS have the MOST choices in women of ALL races of ALL men.

WM are the original miscegenators and they will be the last.

So... it bothers BM that secure WM don't give a blip about BM and WW.

Not when they have their pick of beautiful non-indoctrinated BW, AW, HW, obviously WW, etc...

What is pitiful is how BW ALSO know that these games BM are playing are full of hot air. They play along to not hurt the poor black males feelings. Even when these "victims" are victimizing them.

These self-hating BW willing to take these hits to their OWN femininity (and humanity) by these unmasculine, and damaged creatures deserve to be in the pitiful and unenviable lot their in.

Off my soapbox.

Felicia said...

Wow Bellydancer.

It's amazing - and totally perverted - the almost incestuous "relationship" these brain dead guard dogs have with their owners. They will "defend black men".LOL SMH

These shemale "warriors" are truly sick.

They can't defend themselves FROM damaged black males. But they can "defend them". Against who? Themselves? Because they're wiping themselves out like flies.

"I will defend BM"... As if to say "I will defend my disturbed son" from you cruel, mean, (truthful) BW who have the audacity to not cower in my presence.

That's what the witch was basically saying.

Because when black women "defend" (make excuses for and pervertedly "mother") BM REGARDLESS if they're deserving of "defense" or not (they're not because in normal human relations MEN defend WOMEN and NOT the other way around) it is an exercise in INSANITY, stupidity, and abnormality.

The only black males that are deserving of automatic defense are infants and children. From their mothers AND fathers.

These "nothing but a BM" zombies have made their beds and now they must lie in them.

You'd think these guard dogs would be happy and not complaining about the BM they're defending. Yet they DO. They complain about them leaving them for WW. They complain about them abandoning their children. They complain about them not paying child-support. They complain about them using them as booty call surplus and chauffeurs.

And so on and so on...

YET, they are the FIRST to come to their defense.

SMH It's almost like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Two seperate personalities.

Anyway, normal BW interested in attracting Quality men in the global village need to MAKE IT KNOWN to the general public - especially the general public outside of the black construct - that these guard dogs do NOT represent them in the least.

BW need to STAY AWAY from the ABC ("acting black" crew) sewers online and off. BUT, if one accidentally finds themselves in one, represent WELL.

Bellydancer, you got your point across and represented.

BRAVO.

You planted a seed and let it be known that the ventriloquists dummy guard dog didn't represent all of us.

Anonymous said...

TO..TruthBTold

PREACH!

I swear it absolutely drives me INSANE to hear and see BW bashing non-black men in order to make BM feel good about themselves...As if these negro's aren't conceited enough. I have ALWAYS come to the defense of non-black men whenever black men AND WOMEN began attacking white and non-black male manhood...and of course as a result i get labeled a "sellout" "self-hating" "white man loving" black bitch. Both black men and thier doormats know that black men are at the bottom of the totem pole in most societies that's why they constantly pump themselves up and boast about being the so called "alpha male"...They are absolutely pathetic...but what i find so funny is that you hardly EVER hear black men equally proclaiming the greatness of the black women..as men of other races do for their women...obviously black female doormats are totally oblivious of that. Black women are Black men's biggest and ONLY cheerleaders...sure you'll see quite a few non-black low-life trash who only want black men...but they are totally insignificant and pose absolutely no threat to white and non-black male image. Fact is most black men are don't make suitable mates for any woman. Just look at the social condition black women are in vs non-black women as proof.

vonnie said...

@TruthBTold

wow, you broke that down so eloquently, PLEASE get on your soapbox more often! lol

that needs to be put on every message board ever

Anonymous said...

That would make sense if white men elevated black women. While I agree that black men try to elevate themselves over white men constantly, I will not elevate the whole white race of men over black men in public. I can see why that makes sense with black men and white women because they elevate each other often. They are literally having a lovefest! That is not the case with black women and white men. If I did that I could end up making myself look just like a fool. I just met a white man and we are getting to know each other. The only case that I will defend white men and others is when it comes to penis size because I dont think that black men are the best sexually. In fact, I have heard a lot of black women who have been with white men sing their praises sexually. I wont put down white men but I wont walk around talking about how far they have come to anyone! Come on that is taking it a littttttle too far. Half of the white men that are interested in black women ONLY want to sleep with them. Now that is the truth! NOT ALL but a lot so dont go around praising them 24/7. Just sift thru all of them and get the good, decent ones!

Anonymous said...

Off the subject a bit---I wish more blacks WOULD listen to C&W. I like Brad Paisley the best because most of his songs are about family and relationships, etc. Only writes a few about booze and its negative,he looks like a cute hispanic.(hes on youtube)and even if whites are the original misgeniators, their kids could have many phenotypes (even white, with black women)'one drop' kind. I, for one, don't like 'swagger' or 'metrosexual' type of ways in men anyway.....Brad could sure play that guitar.....you have to get a little used to the 'fiddle and steel' very little in his music

Anonymous said...

Black men a.k.a "the most masculine men on the planet" who have worn dresses in the name of "entertainment":

*Eddie Murphy
*Flip Wilson a.k.a. The Devil Made Me Do It
*Martin Lawrence
*Jamie Foxx
*Tyler Perry
*Chris Rock (on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air)
*Shawn Wayans
*Marlon Wayans
*Cedric the Entertainer (on The Steve Harvey Show)

White men who have worn dresses in the name of "entertainment"

John Travolta (Hairspray)
Jim Carrey (In Livin Color)


Funny I dont see "wimpy white guys" prancing around in high heels and dresses, nearly as much as "the strong bLack man" LMAO!


((Feel free to add to my list and circulate it. bw need to start deflating some egos!!!))

Shan said...

Many bm have not figured this out yet: Men do not respect other men who degrade their own race of women.

Many bm, not all, but many don't take the initiative to create opportunities for themselves. They just complain about "the system" or the "white man." For example, I moved here to Cali two years to pursue acting. Well, I've booked a few films and acted in them, but I didn't want to depend on others to hire me. So guess what I did? I wrote my own screenplays and within two months will be shooting them with me as the female lead, and I have plans right after this one is done to start production on the next screenplay. I created my own opportunities. A West Indian man I dated who identifies as black even though he is mixed came to America and got tired of depending on white men to give him a job. Guess what he did? He started his own company making cleaning product. And the majority of his customers are white. LOL

AA men are just too far gone.......

Icon said...

New favorite quote: "A strong man doesn't have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn't match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world." - Marilyn Monroe

I won't say much more about that issue because TruthBtold stated it all with 100% accuracy.

White women can't
"help" but be drawn to BM not because of their prowess, but because women are drawn to men that are drawn to them and men who "prefer" them and promote their superiority. In short, women are attracted to men that show interest in them first. How many women here develop a crush in someone they didn't even notice until they showed them the initial interest?

WW don't like BM anymore than other men. It's that because black men are MEN, it allows them the space to ask out ww in abundance to make up for the limited amount of returned interest that exists because they are black. If 1 out of 10 white women they pursue is open to IR, they ask out 40 and date 4 to make up for the heightened chance of rejection. The reputation of a high interest level in WW, and the repeatedly asking many of them out to offset the low odds and broadcasting that they're beautiful publicly is what makes up for the fact that black men are black.

Women, on the other hand, are not allowed to pursue and therefore a reputation for giving men heightened levels of rejection makes the odds point towards men expressing more blatant interest in someone with a lessened chance of rejection. This is why extremely beautiful women rarely get asked out. But you know what? It's also the myth of strong culture... Women who seem to come from a strong culture (whether it be an East Indian woman in a sari, an orthadox jewish woman, a woman in a hijab or a BW running around in a dashiki with the "nothin but a bm") are going to have less opportunities being asked out unless its men of these cultures, because of the chance of rejection with OTHER men. Men are less likely obviously to go to chinatown to get an asian women who speaks more limited english, a mosque to meet arab women, and so on, these IR women are often american and in their social network and therefore it makes sense that they would be open to "modern thinking" in terms of IR dating, the ones who don't get asked out as often are those who don't have a reputation for dating out (arab women, orthodox jewish women, pakistani women, aa women and so forth).

Icon said...

Another good example is that men go "hubba hubba" when they see a model, however, few ask her out because they believe she wouldn't be interested in them, which leaves her with less dating options (why many are said to date ugly/jerks, who, like black men, ask out more women to make up for the chance of rejection). In short, women return dating interest, they do not pursue.

I think many WM are conventionally handsome and I find their features masculine. Not because I want to dominate a "weak" man, not because I have issues with BM (that is about moral injustice, not hashing out my beefs with BM). I never went around broadcasting that I wanted a BM, or that I was attracted to WM exclusively, because both are untrue. I HOPE a lot of the BW who are quiet about this issue are saying "I probably would date the right white man", but more BW need to BLANKLY STATE that they "do not have a preference" in more abundant numbers to make up for the women going around talking about mythical culture and "only a bm".

"Say something like, 'The result I see is white men are more sentitive and modern in their responses to woman', add that other women of other races and other cultures are still struggling to get their men to move half way what white men have moved!'"

I'd even bring up racism instead and say "I don't know, white men are the only men within the last 60 years who have implemented diversity measures for women and men of different ethnic groups, and yet, they are the only ones held accountable for racism. I can't think of other groups who moved towards achievement or taking accountability for society's ills, even though they don't personally benefit in doing so!" lol that would be funny.

Bellydancer said...

"TruthBTold said...
Anyone with half a brain can see through these weak little games that impotent black boys play.
White men, Arab men, and East Asian men enslaved black males for centuries. In fact, the black male is still held as a slave in various Muslim countries to this day.
Modern black males have allowed themselves to be forever wounded by the fact that they were demasculinized and owned. In a patriarchal world (the world we live in) it is the height of humiliation for a man to be conquered by another more powerful man. Especially a man from an outside group/race."

To add to that another thing that black men do which cracks me up is convert to Islam either NOI or sunni and then proclaim I did that to not follow the white man's oppressive religion ie Christianity.
WTF do they realize that arabs also enslaved africans so why are you trying to exert some sort of religious superiority against so called white religions when these others also raped and enslaved and are still raping and enslaving africans today.
Of course no black leader will come straight out and say that to black muslims that they are being sold a bill of used goods. Most of these sunni black muslim men go out of their way to imitate their arab or southeast asian counterparts see even with a so called black man's religion the black man cannot act black SMDH

Anonymous said...

"Most of these sunni black muslim men go out of their way to imitate their arab or southeast asian counterparts see even with a so called black man's religion the black man cannot act black SMDH"

....................................................

That's because most black men are followers. Any black woman following a follower is a FOOL.

Black men think they're "proving their worth" and humanity to non black men by being aping their behavior. But it gives the opposite effect instead.

It only proves that BM are worth LESS then non BM. Because instead of being innovators and setting the standards that other men follow, like slaves they mindlessly follow the standards that non black men (especially white racist men of the past) have set.

This is a sign of weakness not strength.

That's why the BM is a joke internationally. The only ones interested in your average BM who is DBR these days is indoctrinated BW, non BW rejects for various reasons, and non BW interested in getting EASY money FAST.

The 21st century black man in western industrialized countries is a willing slave because white people (men and women) still use him as a means to a financial end that benefits them.

And because he's damaged he likes it that way.

Again, any black woman following a follower and a slave, is a FOOL.

PioneerValleyWoman said...

Halima:

For instance say you are having a conversation in a group of different races and genders and the white man is positioned as the wicked wolf. Say something like, ‘Well I don’t know about that, I think white men have come a long way, thanks to the efforts of feminists and feminism (you are tactfully putting this down to external factors), white men have responded very well. Say something like, 'The result I see is white men are more sentitive and modern in their responses to woman', add that other women of other races and other cultures are still struggling to get their men to move half way what white men have moved!' or even simply, 'White men have adjusted admirably to the 21st century woman'.. and let the rest be implied.

My reply:

Or you can add, that at the crux of the matter, white men as a group have done an excellent job of using the positive aspects of patriarchy for taking care of women and children in their communities.

Sexual prowess--please! Who needs that as much as being provided for and taken care of? White men don't worry about that as much as their ability to provide.

Smart women know what matters more!

CNS said...

Yes, I totally agree. WM worry about how to provide for their families and BM worry about how the satisfy themselves sexually.

Anonymous said...

Or you can add, that at the crux of the matter, white men as a group have done an excellent job of using the positive aspects of patriarchy for taking care of women and children in their communities.


Amen

Icon said...

"white men as a group have done an excellent job of using the positive aspects of patriarchy for taking care of women and children in their communities."

When we're honest, it was white men who colonized in the previous years in order to put an abundance of food on their families tables. The white feminist youth (usually upper middle class college students) in the 60s who demanded an end to "the white male patriarchy" also had their tuition paid for in full by their white fathers, and more opportunities because of their white fathers. They never complained about this privilege (as the need for abundance that spawned colonization was to support white women and children), or how they got it, and STILL do not.

Sometimes I wonder if black men had the mentality of doing everything necessary to put an abundance of food on their families table, if they would not have been conquered repeatedly. IE a drug dealer's money is all cash and does not amount to what is necessary for mortgage, child doctor visits, etc. Obviously if a man is most concerned with an entire family over resources for just himself, he's likely to do all in his power to make sure he has an abundance of money, or an abundance of resources, or a career that makes abundance possible, or a stake in "native land" if that makes resources possible.

It's unfair, but humans are not concerned with fairness more than survival. On one hand I pity black men for all they've been through, but pity/feeling sorry for anyone for extended periods is a turnoff. Pity is also different from empathy, in that pity will eventually run out.

Families ALWAYS need to be provided for some kind of way, either through both salaries or one, and I know men often have depression being home too long. I feel that subconsciously men like feeling like they are needed and respected, JUST as women want to feel loved and safe. And I do not want to be with someone who I do not respect and rely on (not money, but other forms of support). Likewise, a woman who's desperate and sleeps with people for love loses respect, so does a man who refuses to compete but without fail, demands it. Oh well. I didn't make the world we live in unfair, but I have to live in it nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

I don't know the circles you run in BUT the BM I meet and know, aren't crazy dumbdonkey kneegrows like that--(talking 'bout their manhood) like a slave.....I'm married interracially though

Anonymous said...

"Sometimes I wonder if black men had the mentality of doing everything necessary to put an abundance of food on their families table, if they would not have been conquered repeatedly."

We must remember that prior to civil-rights (before 1964) - and even during slavery - black men as a whole had the SAME family orientation (providing for their races women and children) as white and other non black men. The SAME. A black child right after slavery had a higher chance of being in a two-parent family than those living now in 2010.

This abandonment of black women and black children has nothing what so ever to do with black men being conquered.

That is a copout. Another way of excusing inexcusable behavior. The whole "the white man made me do it". If another man can "make" you abandon and jeopardize the well being of the women and children of your own race, then you weren't a man to begin with.

Plus, some black men today (the minority) are STILL providing well for their black wives and their black children.


"Obviously if a man is most concerned with an entire family over resources for just himself, he's likely to do all in his power to make sure he has an abundance of money, or an abundance of resources, or a career that makes abundance possible, or a stake in "native land" if that makes resources possible."

Right. The modern black man (the majority) is narcissistic to the core. Unlike white men (and other non BM) who are concerned with their GROUPS success, the black man is only concerned with himself. Black women, black children, and the black race be damned.

"It's unfair, but humans are not concerned with fairness more than survival."

WM and other non BM are interested in survival of their group/race. Only the BM is interested in his personal survival solely above all else.

"On one hand I pity black men for all they've been through, but pity/feeling sorry for anyone for extended periods is a turnoff. Pity is also different from empathy, in that pity will eventually run out."

Damaged black men aren't deserving of ANY pity. The only ones who are, are the innocent black children they produce and abandon like trash.

Bellydancer said...

As anon @ 1:02pm stated a black child had a better chance in being in a 2 parent family after slavery then now. Let's go over the excuses and decisions the bm has made in order for this drastic change.

1.Blamed feminism and matriarchal society for his shortcomings.

2.Blamed white men while dating white women.

3. Embracing a relaxed lifestyle while neglecting his children and financial responsibilities.

4. Not taking education serious while sniping at black women for continuing theirs not understanding they want educated husbands.

5. Chasing non black women who do not understand his being black and why he is chasing them in the first place so he can say "I'm black you don't understand" when the non black woman would call him out on his behavior.

6. Investing very little in is own neighborhoods because he never intending on settling there while calling out bw for settling in nicer neighborhoods as stuck up or too good for black folks.

7. Wasting resources on sex trips to brazil, domincan rep, buying cars, motorcycles, rims, gold chains, loud crazy color clothes with shoes to match then complaining about white folks not wanting to invest in black folks.

8. Having babies then complaining when he has to pay for them thru support checks when all he wanted was a quick roll with the mama.

9. Complaining about being the head of the family, wanting to lead and then not acting like it(working, protecting, paying bills and being responsible).

ak said...

Anonymous:


I don't know the circles you run in BUT the BM I meet and know, aren't crazy dumbdonkey kneegrows like that--(talking 'bout their manhood) like a slave.....I'm married interracially though



Why is it that some BW act like they don't see some damaged, wrong, evil, and irresponsibly acting people in this world (unless the person is white)? No one's going to argue with a person if they say that they don't have dumb DBR BM as friends in their circle, they probably don't, but that person doesn't need to go on as if they've never heard of or seen any BM at all abandon his kids, abandon his community, abandon black-owned businesses, and abandon himself.

I used to live in the USA but I'm now in the UK and over here they show TV News that Americans DON'T see without the internet. I saw in a part of India in the countryside a horrible militia kill and terrorize people out there. Some of the militia cut off the toes of a one year old baby boy and also cut off the breast of the same child's mother and killed the woman eventually. But I have an Indian friend in London so do I have deny what I saw with my own eyes on the news because I know someone else who's family's from India who doesn't carry on with that criminal behavior??

I used to work for a man from Iran who's been living in the UK for years and I read about and see pictures of women being stoned to death for alleged adultery in Iran. Should I consider the latter unbelievable and made up because the Iranian man I met doesn't stone women?

No one's going to call you a liar if you say that you don't have damaged and toxic people as friends nor even as family, but to act like everybody's a liar and talking $*** is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

My focus is on white men not black men!

Anonymous said...

Patriachy is more NATURAL than matriarchy, the ghetto is matriarcal and in shambles. Men, are born to lead. When they don't, sometimes we get crazy behavior. They lead with love though. A good one is a 'servant leader'PATRIARCHY is not a bad word. Macho is closer to a bad word to me.

Icon said...

"We must remember that prior to civil-rights (before 1964) - and even during slavery - black men as a whole had the SAME family orientation (providing for their races women and children) as white and other non black men. The SAME. A black child right after slavery had a higher chance of being in a two-parent family than those living now in 2010."

Perhaps I framed my former comment incorrectly. I'm fully aware that black men do not behave the way they do because of being conquered. It was the access to sex that the woman's liberation movement supplied. Before the sexual revolution, a man could not have sex unless he married (which means he needed to work hard in order to afford getting married, as marriage proved his manhood). After that, it switched to any man who could have sex could be considered a man. So black men, finding that alternative easier than hard work for marriage, stopped marrying. Whatever is considered manhood in general society is what black men will do, and what we witnessed was a change in the definition of manhood. Now black men could blame racism for why they didn't work or marry, while using the privilege of male sex to be considered men.

What I'm referring to is an era before Jim Crow. Where other men throughout the world fought, entered wars, and competed for the ability to put an access of resources on their families tables, at all cost. It is also important to note that black men, believing black women should work, never needed as much of an abundance. When it comes to their global position even within white supremacy, black men are and have been much more passive towards other men. It's not just being "conquered". Japan was treated EXTREMELY horrible, bombed and so on and is still a self sufficient functioning technology driven country. Can we say this about any place in Africa? We can only say that a white female scientist had to create a rape preventing condom because of the high instances of black male rape of infants, girls, and women in these areas.

"Damaged black men aren't deserving of ANY pity."

I mean pity way in a pathetic way, not pity in an empathetic way. There's a difference. I'm not angry at black men, but indifferent leaning towards pitying them. We'll have to agree to disagree.

Icon said...

"I used to live in the USA but I'm now in the UK and over here they show TV News that Americans DON'T see without the internet."

Good point Anon, and I've been making a more conscious effort of doing this as of lately too. Realizing that aside from dealing with occasional prejudice and delinquent overcompensating powerless men, I am extremely PRIVILEGED to be American (as are blacks in any majority white country, imho), privilege allows black Americans the luxury of being sheltered about other realities, in a way similar to "whiteness" historically.

I've heard black nationalist men chant rhetoric about how "no other group on the planet has been through what black men in America have been through", even though men in other parts of the world are getting killed on their way to work, and yet, it doesn't stop these men from going to work. And men in other countries who literally do all in their power to feed their children and kill themselves because they cannot, and enter into war because they cannot.

ALL black men in the US have to do is fill out job applications and go on interviews.

BWMM said...

Shan said...
Many bm have not figured this out yet: Men do not respect other men who degrade their own race of women.

Many bm, not all, but many don't take the initiative to create opportunities for themselves. They just complain about "the system" or the "white man." For example, I moved here to Cali two years to pursue acting. Well, I've booked a few films and acted in them, but I didn't want to depend on others to hire me. So guess what I did? I wrote my own screenplays and within two months will be shooting them with me as the female lead, and I have plans right after this one is done to start production on the next screenplay. I created my own opportunities. A West Indian man I dated who identifies as black even though he is mixed came to America and got tired of depending on white men to give him a job. Guess what he did? He started his own company making cleaning product. And the majority of his customers are white. LOL

AA men are just too far gone.......

Kudos girl. That’s what I was talking about at my blog. Black actresses/actors make themselves stars. I’m working on production. Still in school not where I wanted to be at this stage, but oh well. It’s still going to happen.

Anonymous said...

White men who have worn dresses in the name of "entertainment...

Milton Burl, just saying.

ARLYNE said...

When my husband and I were out one evening, a DBR came up to us and starting yelling "BW are bossy. She's going to be bossing you around." I took my husband's arm kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear "not when we have a real man."

Ever since then whenever I encounter a DBR trying to undermine and generally de-feminize me, I turn to my husband and become even more affectionate. Then, I whisper a compliment to him while we just ignore the DBR. I kill to birds with one stone. I disable a DBR, and I also make my husband feel ten feet tall.

Do not react aggressively. That is what the DBR wants you to do. I ignore them because I have realized that by not engaging them or getting upset they will keep talking and start looking stupid. They will then eventually run out of material. Also, we will continue with what we are doing and act like no one is talking to us. So far the DBR's have not become violent. These cowards are attacking me not my husband. Though if that were to happen, I will let my husband handle it. The new BW gets protected by her man.

vonnie said...

you guys....did you see this? exactly why we are considered mannish and vulgar: http://tinyurl.com/2e7nm59

Daughter of the First said...

Hello to all,
I have a new video:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69iCYxecbqM


Bellydancer said- female poster said she did not want to date wm because of their penis sizes, they were crazy etc.. and I replied to her that was something that bm bought up to discourage bw from dating wm.

I say- This is one of the sadest games they use...and these women have NEVER been with a white male.

Jamdown said...

While I wouldn't go around defending all White men (i.e., Andrew Breitbart), I would say that I have met many decent White men (at work, church, etc.). So if I am around Black folks making crazy comments about all White men, I would have to speak up. I would hope that White men would do the same if they are around their own kind and disparaging comments are made about Blacks.

I feel sorry for the radio host you described. Some Black women are getting desperate given the fact that we are constantly being told that 70% of us will die alone (surrounded by cats!).

Anonymous said...

If 70% of bw who claim they're interested in marriage die alone surrounded by cats it's their own damn fault.

The writing has been on the wall for 50 years now.

If bw can't accept the truth (most bm are just not into bw at least for marriage purposes) and move on to greener and healthier pastures, in the end they only have themselves to blame.

Shan said...

No offense to anyone under the age of 25, but grown women who are mature and know what they want do not listen to that nonsense bm spew about wm. I'm still surprised bw of any age are still listening to that nonsense.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad someone wrote that Islam is the 'black mans' religion and Christianity is the 'white mans' religion. Thats such nonsense because the Muslums have been enslaving Subsaharan type Africans for centuries. Longer than whites. Blacks were forced into Islam. Although in the bible, there were two blacks in the New Testament One was the Ethopian who Phillip spoke to and the other was Simon The Cyrenion (nicknamed 'black Simon) [simon, the one called niger] [they did that because there were too many Simons. Islam came hundreds of years LATER. Christianity was a middle eastern religion. Jews were middle eastern until the year 70 A.D. when the temple was destroyed by Rome. Then they mixed with Europeans. St Paul just was a Roman citizen so he had 'respect' with the Roman government.

Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is Nicole Little, and I was once a mammy for the so-called black race, but I've changed my mind. I WILL NOT uplift black men ever again. I used to be bling from the truth about how black men treated black women, but now as I got older I see the damage that black men do to black women. White men will ALWAYS have the most choices of women. Every time I tell black men this, they will say things like "That's because they are more white men than black men, so of course they are going to have more choices but the black man will always be chosen overy white men" and I was like WTF???? Black men have severely low self-esteem that they feel that they have to trash their own women to elevate themselves as the so-called most desired men. White men will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be the most desired men whether if it's more than them or not.

I have been hurt a lot by black men growing up. I was molested by a teenaged black boy when I was 8. My father verbally and emotionally abused me, calling me names, the black boys in high school used to beat me up, call me ugly, and all that. The black men that I dated only wanted to be with me for sex only, don't want t' marry me. The majority of the ones I dated either live at home with their mothers, unemployed, work at a low-paying job, etc. They told me that I was too dark. Some of them don't want to be seen with me in public because they told me that I was too dark, and I'm dark brown, more of Gabrielle Union's complexion. I'm not even as dark as Gabby Sidibe. I went through a lot with these pathetic ass men and black women in general. Black people hurted me WAY more than non-black people when I was growing up. Non-black people treated me bad as well, but not as much as black people. As a matter of fact, I get along with non-black people better than my own kind. I used to defend black men, but not anymore. I'm going to call a spade a spade. Black men are the most racist, sexist, colorist, self-hating, low self-esteem having men on the face of this earth. I'm done with them. I've rather be single than to be with them, and the next time I do be with a man, he will be non-black. I'm going to get rid of anything that's black, whether if it's music, videos, magazines, or whatever. Call me an Uncle Tom, but that's how I feel.

NICOLE LITTLE

Nicole Little said...

Anonymous said...
That would make sense if white men elevated black women. While I agree that black men try to elevate themselves over white men constantly, I will not elevate the whole white race of men over black men in public. I can see why that makes sense with black men and white women because they elevate each other often. They are literally having a lovefest! That is not the case with black women and white men. If I did that I could end up making myself look just like a fool. I just met a white man and we are getting to know each other. The only case that I will defend white men and others is when it comes to penis size because I dont think that black men are the best sexually. In fact, I have heard a lot of black women who have been with white men sing their praises sexually. I wont put down white men but I wont walk around talking about how far they have come to anyone! Come on that is taking it a littttttle too far. Half of the white men that are interested in black women ONLY want to sleep with them. Now that is the truth! NOT ALL but a lot so dont go around praising them 24/7. Just sift thru all of them and get the good, decent ones!


You must be a black man or an indoctrinated black woman to say that. Not all white men want black women for sex. If that's the case, then how come white men overseas marry black women? How come there's a HUUGE increase of non-BM/BW marriages? Since you said that BM and WW are having a so-called "love-fest", then how come BM/WW marriages are more likely to be divorced than WM/BW marriages? The reason WHY it seems like white men don't elevate black women is because black women are praising black men too much, and non-black men see that, so tha's why they don't bother. I'm not saying that ALL white men want black women, but for you to say that white men NEVER elevated black women is a bunch of crap. In the Bible there were Jewish men that elevated black women in Egypt, so you don't know what you are talking about. It sounds like to me that you don't think that white men find black women attractive enough to marry. Sara and Evia and other BW-TR blogs has a WHOOOOLE lot of pictures of white men and black women who are MARRIED! I don't think that you are a black woman. You're probably some troll that's coming here to start trouble. GET OUT OF HERE!!!


NICOLE LITTLE

Anonymous said...

In the Bible there were Jewish men that elevated black women in Egypt, so you don't know what you are talking about. It sounds like to me that you don't think that white men find black women attractive enough to marry. Sara and Evia and other BW-TR blogs has a WHOOOOLE lot of pictures of white men and black women who are MARRIED! I don't think that you are a black woman. You're probably some troll that's coming here to start trouble. GET OUT OF HERE!!!


Nicole Little, I wont respond to you because you are NUTS!!! LOL!!!

Itsmeagain said...

Hi, Nicole.

I was just wondering, are you the woman who went by "blackloverules" on YouTube?

Christelyn said...

Isn't it in-ter-est-ing that black women must so vehemently defend ' their men.' What? Little weak women have to fight the battle of these supposedly strong black men that we're supposed to be submissive to? I say let them fight their own battles as stop hiding behold a woman's apron like my five-year-old son does.

Nicole Little said...

Nicole Little, I wont respond to you because you are NUTS!!! LOL!!!

This is suppose to be a blog for helping black women to move beyond the black community and get what they want out of life, right? So how am I nuts just because I speak my mind? I was responding the troll who comment over here. If you are going to help black women out, you can't be disrespectful like that. That's not sister love at all. I was telling the truth about how other men admired black women, and now I'm nuts. I was suppose to come here and relax and able to comment, not to be called names, so I suppest you show me some respect just like I show you some respect.

Halima said...

sorry nicole, that one got through but it is also a teaching point about how bw who wake up and react with legitimate anger to their situation are deemed mad and crazy.

this is the standard procedure to make bw feel like she is somehow strange for having anger after many years of indoctrination that leads her into allowing herself to be mistreated.

folks do not want to ackniowlege the link that miseducation of black womanhood has on black women letting themselves be mistreated and then finally snapping and possibly giving up totally on anything black. they want to make you feel it was all in your head!

i have no fear that you will eventually find a balance smewhere after riding out your disgust at your treatment.

H

Nicole Little said...

Yes I WAS, but when I was doing some research and see the phoniness in the so-called pro-black men, I just don't believe in black love anymore. The reason why I stop making those videos is because I saw a couple of so-called black nationalists on YouTube, and most of these guys have NON-BLACK WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS! They talk all this pro-black stuff yet they have a woman that's not black yet they will tell black women not to date/marry non-black men. I couldn't stand the hypocrisy, so that's why I stopped making black love videos and closed my account. Then I went to this black nationalists meeting and I saw a WHOLE lot of black men with their non-black wives/girlfriends, and I asked one of them privately how come ya'll talk black but don't have a black wife/girlfriend, and he said that he wanted to have mixed daughters, but this is the SAME black man that said that black women should love their dark skin and hair texture and stop bleaching your skin, wearing weaves, and what have you yet here it is he said that he wanted to have mixed daughters with light skin and wavy hair. That's why I gave up on black men, black love, and black nationalism. It's all a lie, and it's all a bunch of crap.

Shan said...

This so-called pro black bs that bm promote are just smoke screens for their "inferiority complex". They use these non black women for status only and to produce "lightened children." Notice that these unions don't have a long shelf life? And the funny thing, is that many of those non black women don't even know that they are being used. Many of those black men are not in love with those women but are in love with their shells and are in love with the idea of that non black woman giving them a certain level of status.

Nicole,
See you in cyber space.

Nicole Little said...

Shan,
You're telling the truth! I feel sorry for these non-black women, and black men are the reason why black women and non-black women can't get along in the first place. I don't blame them at all. They are being used for black men's selfish gain and status. Black men don't love those women because if they DID love them, BM/non-BW marriages would've last longer. When I was blackloverules on YouTube, I would make videos to bash interracial relationships and everything, but you know what? I'm not going to do that anymore because all I was doing was boosting black men's ego. I thought that they had my back, but when I checked out their YouTube pages, they had a lot of non-black female pictures and when I saw their videos I saw then with their non-black wives/girlfriends! That's when I gave up on that "pro-black" foolishness. It's all a LIE! I've been bamboozled, but not anymore. From now on, I'm going to support black women and black women only! I don't believe in race. It's all a social construct. There's no such thing as race. I'm a woman FIRST, and I'm black SECOND. When the the baby is taken out of the woman's womb, the doctor didn't name the color/race of the baby. He say that it's either a BOY or a GIRL, and that's how we should think. We should think of ourselves as HUMANS instead of so-called RACE.

Itsmeagain said...

Ms. Little,

I for one am OVER-JOYED (seriously, I did a happy dance when I recognized it was you) by your awakening! I used to be a subscriber to your "blackloverules" account and I have to say, I was horrified. No disrespect, but you were HEAVILY indoctrinated and I really couldn't even tear myself away from some of the videos because they were so...far gone. Anyway, I want to say: CONGRATULATIONS! You've taken the first step to improving YOUR OWN LIFE. I believe that it's hard for a Black woman to finally come to some of the realizations a lot of BWE bloggers speak so eloquently about. But you did it! You're finally recognizing the truth for what it is. It's a beautiful thing! Halima did a post - "Whose Zooming Who" - and this was my first breakdown of the "pro-black" "Afrocentrism" paradox I had been seeing for so long.

Yes, I hope you get acquainted with the many other Black women in cyberspace who are trying desperately to assist other Black women in improving their lives.

shimmy said...

wow, I absolutely loved Aimee's post. I really believe that these black women empowerment blogs are divinely inspired. There is so much good information for black women to learn new thinking and become more open minded.

I said in one of my other responses that a large percentage of black men have always preferred white/non black women. They didn't have access historically to them ,like they do now. I think many of the white supremacists during the Jim Crow period knew that many black men, when given a chance, wanted to be with white women. They were the original men that elevated white women to the top, so they thought and knew that men of color would aspire to have what was elevated and worshipped as the ideal. In fact, many black men started marrying white women in mass in the 1960s during the Civil Rights movement. This was the time period when interracial marriage was legalized.

I have also seen the way many black women in real life tear down other black women. The only time I really see more of a sisterhood is online at blogs like these. I think many black women really do see themselves as inferior so they start viewing other black women as less than. Black women in real life are often very critical of other black women while not being harsh with non black women. This also relates to why these women choose bad men. Racial self hatred and low self esteem is an epidemic in the black race. I feel this is one of the big reasons why the "black community" today is virtually nonexistant.

The only hope black women like us have is to be open minded and vet good people and good men. It's much healthier for us to simply identify as women and not as a race. Just individual women who look out for ourselves. Sorry for such a long post. The more I write, the more thoughts I have. lol

Nicole Little said...

Thank you, itsmeagain!
I really appreciate it. I thought that you were going to curse me out for a minute. LOL! I just couldn't stand the hypocrisy in black nationalism. That's why I closed my blackloverules account. The black nationalists that subscribe to had non-black wives/girlfriends yet they talk all that "pro-black" stuff in videos. Black nationalism, black power movement, and all that is all a LIE! Black women like myself have been lied to, used, and bamboozled, and I realized that these "pro-black" teachings are about UPLIFTING THE BLACK MAN ONLY!!!! These teachings are not about uplifting the black race or black women! They are doing this to make themselves feel powerful enough to get white women. I don't hate black men, but I just need to stop supporing them and stay away from them because according to research online AND offline, I realized that they are using black women to benefit themselves! They don't really love black women or even non-black women. It's out of selfish gain! This is also the little games that they playing according to what Halima post.

I also notice the hypocrisy when it comes to interests in music as well. Like Halima said about the country/western thing, I can relate to that as far as that part! I listen to all kinds of music from R&B, soul, pop, rock, gospel, classical, country easy listening. I went to the record store called the Sound of Market in Philly, and I went to the pop/rock/easy listening section which was upstairs, because I want to get Barbra Streisand's greatest hits album, and one black guy asked me what am I doing here in the pop/rock/easy listening section, and I should be at the R&B/soul/hip hop section. And mind you, this was the same black guy that comes to that section and he bought a lot of pop/rock artists' albums, yet because I'm a BLACK WOMAN, I can only listen to R&B, soul, gospel, and rap, you know, predominately BLACK genres. Black men want black women to stick to anything that's predominately black whether it be music, movies, books, magazines while they can embrace anything that's inside AND outside the so-called black culture . The reason why is because the moment a black woman experiences anything that's OTSIDE the so-called black culture, she will most likely going to meet non-black people, and will most likely be with a non-black man, and black men are afraid of that, and they hate that. Who cares what BM want or don't want? This is MY life! I'm a WOMAN first and I'm black second.

Halima said...

bw need to get out of intepretting everything through the prism of us and them in a battle for supremacy, or 'giving out to whiteness' or 'giving to whites', its such a restrictive and narrow way of viewing life in a complex society where there is need for give and take and borrowing and valuing positive in others etc etc

this is not about elevating white men but nuetralizing runaway black masculinity in a situation where it is damaging black femininity. Can we think in a different mind frame for all of two seconds, thank you!

There is nothing I have said in the above that is 'high praise' of white men and there is nothing that is untrue about how white men as a whole have handled feminism and women empowernment. They have arrived, not by a long shot, but let us not pretend like black men are even trying half of what white men are in terms of getting along with the modern woman and doing his bit for the white family structure.

some bw cannot just get out of this whole antagonistic, and 'i better not give an inch to white people', frame of viewing events and no wonder we are just mired in our bad situation!