Friday, February 12, 2010

John Mayer

Someone challenged me in an email saying that IR bloggers would never address the action of men like John Mayer because it blows our arguments to smithereens.

I guess they were talking about this John Mayer  interview particularly the aspect which pertains to black women (I didnt want to link to playboy so huffington it is)

I have a confession to make....

I hardly know the bloke beyond I saw him play guitar at Micheal Jacksons Funeral and I think he won a grammy a few years ago- I know this might make me seem old and out of it.

But I want to create an open opportunity for black women who might feel we are not addressing fears, or not being honest and open about white men and the interracial option we 'preach'  and what have you, to have an opportunity to state their case.

So while I have my thoughts about this latest 'situation', I am opening the floor for bw to have their say.

Yes it is important to know that we BW IR bloggers do not shy away from any of the relevant issues around our work, however I am and do not want to make  habit of addressing such issues constantly (and going off my preferred course), so this might be the one opportunity to have a chat about the latest white male anti-bw 'situation', issue etc

So no engaging in bwe/ir blogger protecting, aim your shots, announce your fears if you will about this one.

Having said that, vampires that feast on the insecurities of bw, you can be sure that you will not be allowed to slip in, because I am well trained and I know how to seperate genuine concern from a chance to gloat and make black women scared of their own shadows and limited by imagining lions and bears out there.

Also be respectful and no attacks! If you aim a snide remark at me or any bw ir, you will be deleted, I dont care if you are socrates reincarnated.

I shall summarise the post and comments in a short while and we can move on to other things...

Floor open.......


Happy Valentine's Day

I shall be rounding down this entry shortly so we can summarize and move on to other things......




Black women, find out more about the Interracial Option, read the IR E-book


Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com

105 comments:

Anonymous said...

So one white guy speaks for all white men? Thats ironic seeing how I, at this present moment have a Greek guy trying to get my attention. There are many white men who love black women. My girlfriend and I can attest to this and we live in the NY/NJ area.

Jacque said...

I read the interview and my reaction is ...AND? So what? I have to admit I am a fan of his music and songwriting...but Mayer is just another person/pseudo celebrity who has a lot of personal work to do. He has a LOT of growing up to do. That's it...nothing more. As for the stupid comment about not opening himself to sexing black women, well I say keep the David Duke dick out of the dating pool.(That's how the man referred to his penis...really I am NOT kidding). Black women are too good for that. Especially ones who want to live well and think of themselves as deserving the best out of life. Mayer is not even good to the white women he dates. Black women should NOT take this personally at all. The man just dissed himself really. He's immature, rich ,very talented with a need for a crowd. The Playboy interviewer hinted at these traits.
So ladies ...let this one go. But it does give you a glimpse of how we are truly noticed by other men. Ladies we are not invisible...we can't be. Our beauty is sooo out there. EVERYMAN sees it... the good AND the bad..every color every socioeconomic level.
Walk by this one...it's meaningless...no insipid damaging undertones to ponder.

GoldenAh said...

I've enjoyed one or two songs from him. The song "Wonderland" made me upchuck in my throat when he said, "Her body is like alabaster." Ewww.

I told my Mom a few years back that I didn't like him, and her response was, "Who's John Mayer?"

Precisely. That's how important he is.

He's a narcissistic misogynist. He's been hanging around rappers - those damaged beyond all repair negroes. I'm not surprised he thought he had a "hood pass" and that "black people love" him.

The people tearing their hair out to defend him bother me. His white liberal/progressives fans are angry they cannot freely call us the N-word, because they hear some "blacks" do.

Any sista who finds herself "hurt" because of a strange, emotionally stunted, attention-wh*ring white boy's comments, needs to brace herself. He's not worth the attention, 'cause he's not even a "quality" man.

And yes, it is open season on us, because I notice these white (female) reporters keep stirring the pot.

Kemicutie said...

I have been reading your blog for a very long time and I agree with just about everything you say. I loved your latest two posts. They were totally on point.

In regards to John Mayer, I liked his music, that's all. He isn't attractive to me in the slightest so if he says he doesn't want a black woman, then so be it. He is only ONE man. I guess the thing that is disturbing black women and giving black women saboteurs the slick knickers is that John Mayer who is thought to be in love with black music and seems really cool just said that he doesn't open himself up to black women. No big deal. You have to take into consideration that this is only ONE man out of millions. He's just stating his preference. His preference being white women whether they are attractive or not. Is this a crime? No. Does this set back all the gains black women have made in IR dating/marriage? No.

The message that I have received is that there are DBRs in all racial groups. Not just black men. Just because one white man says that he prefers women of his own ethnicity (which btw is normal) doesn't turn back everything that has happened for black women and shouldn't discourage them from pursuing relationships with whoever they choose. Not every white or non-black man is going to want a black woman. I think I heard Evia say that it only takes ONE MAN. You don't have to have them all trying to get with you.

This comment does nothing to take away from my very happy marriage of 4 1/2 years to my very wonderful husband or any of my other sista friend's marriages to their white husbands. People are acting like, "Oh, John Mayer says that his penis is racist against non-white women. All white men must feel this way. Better give up on the dream of catching a white man, ladies." NO.

You have to also take into consideration that this man is American with all the racial baggage that comes with it. Some white American men have gotten over it and see past that to pursue relationships wherever they wish to have them. Others hold onto the bags and just can't get over the upbringing. Others just have their preferences and they may not include black women, which is okay too. Better let Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, and some other homely white woman have him.

The DBRs out there are going to take this and run with it. They're going to try and use this as an example of black women should stay in the box. They're going to use this to scare black women out of taking that leap of faith and opening their dating pools to include men regardless of race. It will only work if black women let it work. We have so many wonderful examples of black women being loved and cherished on all of our empowerment blogs. We have pictures of black women getting MARRIED to these men, not just dating or being a baby mama. Who can take that very clear example away from us? Nobody. Just let the noise calm down and keep spreading the message.

Bellydancer said...

I question why the reporter would even ask him about black women in the first place that was an excuse to start some ish if you ask me.
I mean did she think that because he had a hood pass that he was going to start dating black women or something. That alone shows me right there that wware starting to fell the competition from us and are genuinely scared that the throne of sacred womanhood is up for grabs. Nope not loosing sleep over John Mayer.

Jazine said...

ITA, Bellydancer. When I heard this nonsense about Mayer’s comments, I was perplexed how the subject of him not being sexually attracted to black women came into the interview. I didn’t understand until I read the interview. He was asked a direct question if black women throw themselves at him. The interviewer definitely wanted to start a hornet’s nest. After reading Mayer’s racist/misogynist comments, why would black women lose any sleep over this man whom clearly has issues with women regardless of race? There’s nothing wrong with him having a preference for white women, it’s the nasty comments he made to prove that preference. Now he’s apologizing on his Twitter page…whatever, dude.

If Mayer’s comments make some bw rattle in their boots, perhaps they have to do more soul searching on why they’re so easily rattled by a total stranger who is only one man. You can’t keep looking for reassurances to ease your own personal insecurities/issues ALL the time to have the life you want. If I had that type of mindset, I wouldn’t be the living the wonderful life I’m living now, including getting engaged this year to a wonderful man who is ***gasp*** white.

Truth p. said...

Hi Halima,(deep heavy sigh)
YOU AND I both know that MOST black men don't give a darn about what John Mayer said about black women *rolls eyes*.Black men have been saying the same things about black women that John said.Word for word action for action.

I also feel the need to stick up for you Halima as well as other BWE bloggers,even though I know you all don't need it, because I feel that these bm who continue to bring this issue to you are LYING on you and other BWE bloggers.Time and time again BWE blogger have said it's NOT about race but QUALITY.Time after time again BWE bloggers such as yourself have spoken about black women properly VETTING ALL MEN,regardless of race.
I myself made this comment on the "Psychology of Black Women" essay the other day before what John Mayer said even became public ..."In order to move on we need to understand where some bw have made mistakes.We don't want to allow a new set of users, abusers, and deadbeat dads, into our lives just cause they are white or non black.This is about having a better life.I am not going to ex black men out of the equation under the guise that they are a mess and then get a white man or non black man to treat me just as bad as a black one."

Halima If you don't mind can I go back to previous posts from yourself and other BWE bloggers and post them here where you specifically say that women have to properly vet men regardless of race and must not accept poor
treatment from anyone?

I also would like to THANK John Mayer for being honest about his personal preferences.I think he even in all his d.b.r.ness is still BETTER than the typical African American man that will have sex with and leech off the resources of black women all the while being verbally and physically abusive,chasing/lusting after white and non blackwomen, and then probably leaving the girl with a child to take care of alone.
I must say the bm and their sister soldiers that continue to bring up John Mayer and other low caliber white men are IDIOTS,I'm sorry I just can't be nice Halima , and just don't get it.Bringing up John is an epic FAIL on their part because John as far as I know has not done black women half the harm as MOST typical black men.I'm starting to see how SICK these people really and truly are.They actually believe it is better that black women continue to be used abused and discarded by bm than by a non black man.They have not even considered the fact that life could be pleasant for black women if we pick GOOD men from any race.I will NOT be marrying ANY man because of his race.

I'm sorry to have typed in caps so much Halima but I just HATE that people would LIE on you and other BWE bloggers.I can't stand the lies.

SweetP said...

Mayer is a textbook DBR male. They come in all colors, so it's TRIPLY important that women learn to vet men carefully--don't let skin color, height, social status, a pretty face, etc., blind you from doing this.
I am sickened that the anti-black woman/anti-BW dating out brigade is trying to use this as ammunition/justification for the subjugation of BW. The interviewer was obviously trying to start some stuff and she picked the right immature, attention-whore jackass to get it started.

palmwater said...

John’s comment didn’t bother me at all! I think once you take out the bad euphemism it’s easy to understand what he was trying to get across. I had a hard time at first understanding him.

I think this is being blown out of proportion! So what if he has only slept with white women big deal. He’s allowed to sleep with people of his own race. I didn’t read that comment as meaning he wasn’t attracted to black women, since he states later on black women he’s attracted to. Even if John wasn’t attracted to black women …so what?

He has a Benetton heart (United Colours of Benetton) meaning he loves all kinds of women and needs to open himself up to dating women other then white women…OK and?

I didn’t like the way he made the comments and the extreme misogyny bothered me the most. Like someone else said, I wouldn’t consider John a quality man, he has too many issues with himself and women (like Kanye West).

What I have noticed are black women not being able to think critically to read what he’s saying. Also these same women are the ones who wouldn’t date a white man, and make all sorts of ill informed comments to justify why they don’t want to date white men or want a white man approaching them. So to these women I say “what’s the problem”?

If a white man approaches them they get mad, if a white man prefers women of his own group, they get mad. So what is it?

I also want to mention that many of these women are mad at what he said about Kerry Washington…hmm what a bunch of hypocrites. These same women are the ones on blogs that chastise her for “acting white” and only dating white men. Now if a DBR white male describes a black women as acting white, where do we think he got that from? It seems to me that white people are using the same phrases and words that black people use to describe each other.

This shouldn’t deter black women from dating out. If racist comments like “you’re pretty for a dark skin girl”, and “all the cute kids are light-skinned”, and “I don’t date dark buts”, and “I like mutts”, and “I prefer to date white women”, don’t deter black women from dating/sexing black men than John’s comments shouldn’t be a deterrent either!

Truth p. said...

Halima I'd like to add that John Mayer has always had butthole-ish ways in general towards anybody.At least it seems that way when I watch TMZ.I never spoke on it cause though I did like some of his songs I am not really a fan,I don't find him particularly physically attractive though his songs made him sound sweet which he's proven he's not, I don't keep up with him or his career,and I only saw him with white women.Their problem not mine.And even when I consider what he said about black women John Mayer is still the white women who deal with him problem not mine just like dbr black men are other womens problem not mine.

Out of love for black girls and women and a desire to not see them getting hurt,and being used and abused by the Rays Rays and Rashads I speak against dbr BLACK men.Because the BLACK men and boys are the ones that are causing problems for black women and girls.I have always,as in before i ever discovered BWE blogs and BW-IR blogs, known that there were the K Feds of the world but the average black girl and woman won't even look K Feds way anyway just cause he's white.
Internet Ikes and Ikettes know that Halima.Why are they playing dumb now?Why are they lying?

E said...

Ugh, the minute I heard this I knew it would hijacked by the "See, see? Don't nobody want your ugly black selves" crowd." However, I view his statements a bit differently. Unlike lots of black men, he did not say he found black women to be loud, ugly or unfit for love. He named 3 black women he found attractive. John Mayer is saying he doesn't seek random black women to screw, but that his "David Duke c*ck" seeks exclusively white women to use for sex and discard. I say good! Not that I am in favor of any women being used for sex, but I am certainly not offended that he isn't choosing black women to use as sexual objects. What I want to know is why the interviewer asked, "Do black women throw themselves at you?" No one is questioning why such an absurd question would be asked of a white singer who appeals to mostly teenagers, but I can't imagine the Playboy writers are an overwhelmingly intellectual or PC crowd.

I have been to 3 John Mayer concerts and I am pretty sure they were not teeming with black women all hoping to get a piece from John Mayer. His statements, while crude, were not worse, or more racist than Kanye's "I like mutts" comment, not worse than Neyo's "all the cutest kids are light-skinned" comment or my fave, rapper Young Berg's pithy "I don't do dark butts."

I bet Jessica Simpson is wishing she had vetted a little more carefully right about now and his comments about their sex life prove that all women need to avoid DBR losers. In sum, black women who are open to decent men who don't share their racial classification should continue to be so. Men of any race who hold beliefs and say dumb things like John Mayer are easy to avoid. Just talk to them for about 5 minutes and they tend to reveal themselves.

Black women have been too easily sidetracked and tricked into defending black male interests and railing against 'the evil white man' when something petty like this comes up, while black men, like the 3 I mentioned above, get a free pass to bash black women all the time.

Oshun said...

I cosign some of the comments. Particularly that this is one guy.

Not only that, but he doesn't sound like a nice guy or marriage material - so big deal.

But one thing I value is honesty. At least he is letting you know up front who he is, what he is, and what he is about - so why waste your time and energy? How can anyone be upset-challenge that? Most people keep it moving.

Unlike, DBRBM who will deceive, lie, and string BW along knowing full well they have both white supremacist hearts and penes.

Neecy said...

So the interviewer was a White woman? interresting... lol

The fact is our haters are just soooo obsessed with us. i mean damn! The saying goes "BIRDS ONLY PICK AT THE BEST FRUIT".

Like bellydancer mentioned. There OBVIOUSLY is a great fear of Black women in the relationship arena, thus why so many people feel the need to always keep us in thier mouths. Think about it. if BW were truly not a threat, would there always be a need to go out of thier way to openly discuss us?

Regarding his comments. The fact is this. The question was asked "do BW throw themselves at you" and he never answered it b/c the answer was NO. But anyone who knows this losers history he has an overinflated ego. So instead of answering "NO" he had to try and turn the tables. Perosnally like all of his rapper friends "who supposedly love him and gave him his black pass" I believe he hates women. The apple don't fall too far from the tree now does it? its obvious this dude hates women - regardless of race. YET people will pretend its just BW he dislikes? Psssh!

Like I said on another forum. there are a lot of DAMAGED MEN out there who are bitter b/c they can't or didn't get the BW they wanted. So they use public forums to spew their virtrol against BW because they know we are easy targets with NO PROTECTION whatsoever.We can thank the Black community for for this, and the sisters who continue to run to the rescue of MEN.

i believe that BW need to come to the realization that we should not COLLECTIVLEY be looking to any race of men to elevate us or protect us.

Frankly, BW need to start acting like Jewish people. You say something about them, they cut you off at the neck (not physical violence but FINANCIAL VIOLENCE lol). The only way things will change is if BW STOP supporting those who openly disrespect us. Personally I think BW could use a break from the media and entertainemnt. I know its hard to do but maybe its time.

Then you have Black women like Holly Robinson peete jumping for joy b/c he paid her a compliment. How sad.

Its time for BW to get some moral authroity and zip the wallets, stop supporting, start writing sponsors and letting them know they will not get our $$$ or support. And that also includes not supporting other BW who openly stick up for these losers. Holly peete will never get a dime or any support from me.

Last thing. Its time for BW to turn off the TV and change the radio stations. Its obvious the entertainment industry has no respect whatsoever for us, so why do we keep supporting it??? I don't even listen to mainstream pop or hip hop stations anymore. I just made this change within the last month. i listen to soft rock, jazz and 70/80's stations now.

palmwater said...

E it seems we are thinking alike (lol).

I think Khadija summed this up best when she wrote, "Beloved, you know in your heart that for every single “WM done some BW wrong” story you can mention, there are THOUSANDS of “BM done BW wrong” stories. Horrible stories. Deadly stories. Stop tripping."

http://sojournerspassport.com/v-for-vendetta/#comments

Halima said...

ok keep em coming

thanks for the ones so far and i want to say that i also dont think its wrong or far fetched for bw to be a bit disappointed.

We live in a racist society and racial injuries no matter how small can hurt especially since these feed into the larger body of racist griefs we suffer as bw.

feel free to own your emotions on this one.

A number of things stood out for me;
'open season on bw,' another thing is that Mayer is Jewish and for a Jewish person to be cosy citing white supremacist imagery and especially deploying these in response to other oppressed minorities drilled home the fact that when 'minorities' can fit into 'white' comfortably, they can be just as bad if not worse than racist whites.

I am also looking at the larger 'response' and the fact that clearly 'things can be said' about certain groups, but as a jewish person no one would dare go there with J M. This speaks to the issue of power in society and how it shapes who can legitimately complain.

Let me ask, what was the nature of his apology on twitter, if anyone knows?

Truth p. said...

@ Golden Thank you for pinting out some of the other culprits here @And yes, it is open season on us, because I notice these white (female) reporters keep stirring the pot.

(finger wagging)Tisk Tisk tisk you are not being politically correct.Remember black women are supposed to be the insecure ones.Yet these white and other non black women are talking us up gettin all up in our bizness even when we are not around.What's up with that???
*sidenote* I have nothing against any white and non black woman that does'nt have anything against me.The recent news articles and interviews done by ww portraying black women in a negative light does make me wonder if those particular ww have some jealousy or white supremacy issues though.

Sonja said...

I agree with Bellydancer and Jazine. The first thing that came to my mind is why did the interviewer even ask that question?

Evia said...

Halima, I, too, had never heard of John Mayer until this morning, so I've never heard of any of his music or anything else.

You can always get a very good idea of how you're doing by how your opposition reacts to you. LOL! The ikes and sista-soldiers are desperate. They're trying to push every button they can to keep bw caged, but for them to latch onto something this flimsy tells me for sure that bw are MOVING ON in much larger numbers than the opposition had anticipated, than even I had expected. Whew!

1. As has been said here: this guy is ONE man.

2. Maybe, I'm out of the loop, but I NEVER thought that racism had disappeared from the minds of all wm in America. So I don't know why anyone is surprised.

As Truth P said, I, too, am happy he was honest and outspoken and that should send the double underlined message to bw to VET All men. But be thankful to men who tell you the truth beforehand. It's the lowdown snakes who don't let a bw how much they devalue her until AFTER they've used her as a semen dump who are the most dangerous to a typical bw's body and soul. And we know who the bulk of those men are who do that to bw.

3. I NEVER even thought that ALL men of ANY group would be interested in me. I might think I'm of high value to any man--LOL!--but I KNOW that plenty of men would NOT agree with me. LOL! That doesn't make me feel bad or less-than AT ALL because I know that plenty of men DO see me as a desirable, valuable woman. And I only need ONE quality, lovable and loving man at a time.

4.The ike/ikettes are banking on the notion that SOME bw ***need*** for EVERY white man to find bw appealing in order for those women to include SOME wm in their dating pool. That's why they're trying to hype this. A lot more bw are indeed ESCAPING!

5. There are plenty of ww who do NOT date bm at all but that obviously didn't stop a typical bm who is married to a ww from dating and marrying her--an INDIVIDUAL ww.

6. Bw must vet/evaluate wm as INDIVIDUALS.

7. This hoopla is deflection and misdirection.

8. Bw must vet/evaluate EACH wm as an INDIVIDUAL.

9. Per my comment sent to your last post this morning, bw MUST use every opportunity to get the word to wm that SOME bw are very much interested in dating quality, respectful, interested wm and bw must inject that into EVERY topic they come upon where BWIR is being discussed.

BWF said...

So one white guy speaks for all white men?

_____________

Thank you! Thats exactly what I was thinking. Not phased one bit.

He probably got the "juice" to say that after watching black males "I hate bw" videos on youtube. Just sayin'

Truth p. said...

Halima I aint mad that he said what he said.I'm sorry I just couldn't move myself to get upset and cry about it.Still can't.I have heard FAAAAAAAAARRRRR worse said about black women coming from black men.In all honesty i'm surprised that that is all he said.Considering the negro males who's he's been around and probably has been influenced by.

At the same time if there are black women who did get sad I guess I can be sympathetic to that although i'll admit it'll be a little hard.I won't disrespect any of the women for their dissapointments in JM but I do feel that victomhood in someways is a choice.I think the black women and maybe even girls that were saddened by his comment needs to ask themselves a few important questions. Do I support those that hate me and pull me down?If so why? and what do I think I need to do about it?I think they should also ask themselves if they are keeping company with dbrs who act like or say similar things as the Johns Kanyes Young Bergs Ne-Yos etc and why?All i'm gonna say is come out from among them and be ye seperate.It is a horrible thing to be in a verbally abusive relationship with anybody. even the tv or a magazine. so either change the channel cut the tv off read a different mag or cancel those subscriptions.Also understand that if someone brings what the dbrs say to your attention in an effort to put you down or take away your peace and love for your self image either online or offline you have every right to not engage in conversation about that topic with them.You have every right not to befriend somebody that will use situations such as this to talk about you negatively because you are a bw.If you want to discuss this issue discuss it on your terms in an environment with people that don't hate you and won't put you down.

palmwater said...

Halima said

A number of things stood out for me;
'open season on bw,' another thing is that Mayer is Jewish and for a Jewish person to be cosy citing white supremacist imagery and especially deploying these in response to other oppressed minorities drilled home the fact that when 'minorities' can fit into 'white' comfortably, they can be just as bad if not worse than racist whites.


Good point, I think the point about other minorities passing as white has been discussed, such as the "only native spanish speakers", and colourist POC.

I think we also have to remember that black people do this as well! I can't even count the number of times I've heard black people use white supremacist derived terms for other groups.

Anonymous said...

It is not just ww reporters stirring up some mess. On the Afroromance site a blogger by the name of Ria (she is Puerto Rican)has no problem blogging negatively about bw and she looks like a light skin bw herself.

a

Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is Karel....I am a young black woman...I am 25 years of age....

I read what John Mayer said, on YBF(at least parts of it) and I am not really offended by what he said...it is his opinion....He has proven to be ignorant on a lot of occasions, but the black back-up singers he has, seem to have no issues with his ignorance....I guess that money comes before one's dignity and integrity

We all know that there are white men that are attracted to black women, but can't seem to be with one.....there are also white men who like black women, but refuse to date one because of family and friends...there are white men who are just PUNKS.....and there are white men who love black women and are not afraid to show it

for people who are open to dating interacially, this comment by J.Mayer should not do anything negative to what they want and feel...he is just one white man, there may be other like him, but there are lots of other ones who like black women....and that is the only aspect that should be focused on

on ybf, I read a comment from a black man, and he said, he's been telling black women that no one wants them....that is the only thing that really bothered me....It bothers me that so many black men look down on black women

it is so so sad, that even though there may be good black men out there, the bad black men over shadow the good ones

I am very disappointed in black men....the ones in the media don't seem to make a good impression either.....Puff Daddy, Kobe Bryant, Lil Wayne and others are ruining the image of black men and causing the young black men to be messed up mentally

I am not saying this because I am black, but I think that black women are very beautiful and just like any other race of women, some may just be plain, not ugly, but plain

There are some bad black women out there, but the majority of black women have been the shoulders that black men have stood on for so long, they are the ones who worked two jobs, to put food on the table and still make their daughters and sons look decent on the streets

it's sad that black men forget this and treat and talk about black women as though they are the worse women on the face of this earth

their lack of respect is disgusting.....

it's 2010 and black men still don't get it

Anonymous said...

I believe WW are also starting to feel what BW were getting all the time--men who dont have the education they have and are trying to stop black women from getting connections on their men. It has been said that ONLY 40 percent of ANY males are going to college at all...Also, like i've said before and ill say it again: RAP MUSIC WAS ALWAYS ANTI WOMAN!! Listen to the early rap songs if you dont believe me{hotel, motel, holiday inn, (say what) if your girl starts acting up then you take her friend} to the hotel where she dont want to go! and get __

ak said...

What....Evvaaahhh!

The man doesn't even look good he's looking bloated in that pic with him and Jessica Simpson and he's got dark circles around his eyes but not in that hot 1990s Calvin Klein male model way!

LOL

I'm not impressed about him and Jessica Simpson nor Jennifer Anniston, they probably only liked him because he's a musician. I know that famous models and famous musicians always eventually get together.

Who cares about this dude? Did he wear a t-shirt saying 'I will sleep with black women' when he was playing at Michael Jackson's funeral? LOL

E said...

Oh, yes. And now the bm protectionists are going to use this to make black women who don't toe the line pay.

http://dimewars.com/Blog/Holly-Robinson-Peete-Sides-With-John-Mayer-s-Racism-Because-He-Thinks-She-s-Cute.aspx?BlogID=e0f2ff80-bda5-41d6-b359-fe104288f010

Holly Robinson, who is like 45 with four kids and a black husband, said she was flattered by John Mayer's compliment before she got a chance to read the whole interview and now folks are online calling her a Mammy and a self-hater. Now she's issued a statement talking about Kwanzaa at her house and blahblahblah. I am sure an "I LOVE black men" is about to come out next. Because black women are always obligated to add that in, even when the issue on the table has nothing to do with black men. Huge eyeroll.

Jazine said...

Halima, I agree that Mayer’s comments were hurtful. There’s nothing wrong with calling that out. The problem I have is some bw can’t separate Mayer’s racist/misogynist comments from his lack of interest in bw. The two are getting fused together in this distorted blur. You can a preference and not trash what you’re not interested in. The DBR crew is purposely causing this blur in an attempt to put bw off balance.

As per your request, here is what Mayer wrote on Twitter:

“Re: using the 'N word' in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it's such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged. And while I'm using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it's time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews... I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don't have the stomach for it. Again, because I don't want anyone to think I'm equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again..”

Zabeth said...

I chose not to discuss John Mayer because he’s irrelevant.

1. He’s not dropping an album right now so we’ve all just given him more publicity than he deserves. I wouldn’t be surprised if this had all been orchestrated by a publicist somewhere.
2. Mayer is ONE (O-N-E) WM. So what if he doesn’t like BW? And?
3. Mayer could very well be a closeted racist/hipster racist/white supremacist whatever. It really doesn’t matter because BW interested in IR dating wouldn’t be (or shouldn’t be) interested in dating racist WM. LOL!
4. He also showed disrespect to WW why bragging about his sexual exploits with Jessica Simpson (where’s Papa Joe?) and Jennifer Aniston. That shows that he doesn’t have much respect for women, period.
5. I also didn’t want to give “vampires,” as they are referred to, a forum to say ‘I Told You So’ forum- however misguided that sentiment may be.

Moving on.

Missy said...

I had an entirely different reaction from John Mayer's remarks. He is well known to be an egotist and narcissistic so when the reporter asked him if "black women threw themselves at him", rather than answer in a way that would make himself look undesirable(his ego would not allow it)he turned the table and said, well I'm not attracted to them. He never answered the question did he? Why? Because the answer is NO! But he didn't want to say that to the reporter so he flipped the script. A sort of I got you before you got me sort of thing. I laughed at his response because it clearly revealed the fragile veneer of his ego. He has always wanted to be a soul singer, but he is no Robin Thicke or Justin Timberlake...he is only one man so don't sweat it.

Missy said...

John Mayer is an egotist and is extremely narcissistic. When the reporter asked him if "black women threw themselves at him", rather than answer truthfully, which is NO. He flipped the script to save face by saying in essence, Iam not attracted to them. A man with an ego as fragile as his would never admit that we are not attracted to him. That would diminish his attractiveness to admit such a thing. Think about it.

Missy said...

I forgot to mention that John Mayer is Jewish, yet he mentions that part of him ascribes to the point-of-view of David Duke? David Duke is one of the most notorious anti-semite in America. Did you know that when David Duke's first wife divorced him she alleged that he owned enough black pornography...pictures of naked black women...to fill a warehouse! Hypocrite!

Skypurple15 said...

While bm are ready to point you in the direction of John Mayer's comments, they are also the same ones agreeing with him. You should see some of the comments on ybf.com. And many of the bw there called out ybf on their hypcrosiy. I can attest that bw aren't fooled and are pretty much saying the same thing we're saying here. It's bm who are blowing this out of proportion and rejoicing at the mere fact of it.

If anything you would think that bm would take this opportunity to say that there's one white man who's not interested in sexing up bw and then airing the laundry like he did Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Anniston. But I guess that would be the pot calling the kettle black. No instead they twisted and turned into "ha wm don't want you", when 1. john never said he wasn't interested in bw. 2. He clearly explained the bw he likes. 3. he did mention he needs to open up more and not let his d*ck do the deciding. 4. He did mention the word N*gger and the black card, why haven't bm looked at it that J.Mayer sees them as a n*gger(though he didn't say that). No I'll tell you why they took the attention off of them and went straight for what they were looking to bash....bw.


Like everyone else, I question the interviewer. This is just like the interviewer who asked Matthew Mc. what type of woman gets no play on magazines. I really think this plays on ww's insecurities. Its like they have to know, do wm really like bw? are they in the safe zone? Is their pedastal being threatend? I guess they were so busy watchin out for asian women they didn't think they needed watch out for bw. O well.


At the end of the day all a bw needs is one man. I've dated and even spoken w/ wm who are attracted to bw. So john mayer, although i love his music, his comment didn't even phase me. Everything about the interview didn't phase me. 1 man million, a million more.

Anonymous said...

I have no problem with a white man not being interested in black women. Everyone should have their own taste. What I have a problem with is his free use of the N word, and speaking of white supremacist as though it is something funny. Obviously, he has underlying racial issues that need to be addressed.

Is he worth any of us losing sleep over? NO.

Neecy said...

Halima,

i was on another forum and another sister mentioned that they were throwing around the idea of starting an anti defamation league for Black women. I think we need it. i know some BW would say "just ignore" the fools and keep your head up and keep it moving. but in relation to your post re: who gets respect and who doesn't based on power, I think this is something BW should definitley consider. I know i am sick of the public flogging BW are expected to take lying down.

At some point we need to get together and start DEMANDING respect like others do. As the other woman said "there's no calvary coming to save Black women" and we must do it ourselves.

What do other think?

Dorothy said...

Hi Halima,

Don't feel bad - I must be old too because I don't know who this joker is either!

Also, JM is one wm (obviously, a very racist, sexist, homophobic, etc wm) who wants to seem relevant, but ends up looking like a complete jackass. As someone posted before, there are a LOT of wm who love bw. No need to worry about Mr. "My dick is sort of like a white supremacist."

Skypurple15 said...

I also wanted to mention since reading Missy's comment that why would it matter if black are throwing themselves at him? and why would it matter to them? I would believe that who bw are attracted to matters a lot to ww/non-ww. Think about it...when bw were going around calling bm kings of the earth and what not, most women regardless of race jumped ship to see what this king and his horse was all about. Well now that we are taking a new direction, a direction towards their men, now our opinions of who we are attracted to need to be analyzed and no just analyzed they need to make sure their men don't have the same feelings toward us *hence the stupid question that was asked*.

I never heard of a ww reporter ask a black man, if black women are all over him. But why w/ John Mayer? Infact why does everyone want to know what we're doing, who we're dating, who weren't not dating? Really since when do bw matter to mainstream?

If anyone is familiar w/ John Mayer it is obvious that he had a strong connection with Alicia Keys. You can tell by their performaces together. So somewhere out there this ww reporter who was squirming in her seat needed to know if JM the great has bw all over him. Just to make herself feel better, only for him to dog out the women (ww) he was dating worse than what he said about bw. This is why mainstream media is focusing on that part of the interview moreso than the racist comment, because he dogged their women. And what are "our" men doing? they're dogging us w/ JM, which to us come as no suprise. They'd join a patch of wild flowers to dog us if they could. Anything to get the light off of them.

It also shows in my high opinion, that the only race of women, that men have been chasing after, wanting to be desired after, and get approval from is bw.If anything we are now THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT(funny how the tables have turned). All men know they can get an asian, hispanic, white woman, but a black woman, that is the ultimate challenge...and i like that...makes my stock go higher. Every man chases after what he can't get, and thus far its a bw. So I take this in stride.

I guess John learned well from his bm counter parts. "When a woman dumps you, dog her out, so you can feel better about yourself". So john now you can see how idiotic that approach is and how stupid it makes bm look as well. Welcome to their world.

As for Holly Peete, i say take the compliment and run with it. And don't apologize for it. This whole JM thing is lame anyway.

*correction on last post "1 man...a million more"*

Anonymous said...

Speak on it skypurple15!! LOL

Im glad that SOME bw aren't using this as an opportunity to throw pity parties for themselves.

Personally I've never had problems attracting non-bm so these hateful ww, bm, bw, or whoever else can kick rocks :p

BWF said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neecy said...

Skypurple,

I am definitley getting this feeling that all this BW this and BW that in the media is being fronted by WW and WW producers and such. Believe me. WW have a VESTED interest in not having to compete for the affections of WM with women who are physically/ aesthetically different from them.

How funny since BW have been doing this since the end of time.

Even with a majority of WM still preferring thier own, there is still an OBSESSION with who and what likes BW.

Its sad. But im a big believer in KARMA.

And another sister on another forum said she was scouring the net to look for "allies" in WW and others on this matter. I had to laugh ad break it down to her. YES there are some WW who will denounce JM and the likes. Some may even stop supporting him. But they are a very small minority. Many WW need and love to hear other women being put down at the expense of being uplifted. Some may say where do i get this from. The fact that we NEVER see or hear any WW as a collective standing up against males who are constantly flogging BW publically, shows how much interest they have in standing ground with BW. Where are the White femininsts???? Shouldn't all women be standing against men downing women regardless if its them or not?

There are a lot more WW calling the shots in the media than we want to admit or care to admit. Its always safe to target WM for thier racism. And being the men they are, they would not throw thier women under the bus (unlike some group of men). but there is still the unchallenged racism of WW.

Its almost like the colorism in the Black community. Many light skinned BW (and BTW yes i am one myself) will not stand up against the colorism in the Black community b/c it benefits US and b/c standing up against the colorism in the black community and denounicng may pull us off that special lil pedestal and advantage we've had for so long in the love and relationship dept over other beautiful darker sisters. its the same thing. WW standing up for BW and denouncing this kind of behavior is just to them risking losing their title.

but like the saying goes - the grave you call yourself digging for someone else MAY VERY well be your own!

I aint sweating it. i am going to watch it all unfold.

Truth p. said...

Halima it's Truth p again.I'd hate to wear out my welcome what with all the multiple comments and all lol's.Halima this issue has really bought out the bw bashers and I feel that this situation has really caused me to be more alert and attentive to what is really and truly THE WAR AGAINST BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS.I'm glad this is being documented and for that I thank you Halima.You are greatly appreciated.

Reading some of the comments about how black men are over on sites called the YOUNG black and famous disrespecting black women in the presence of some of the younger black girls, as well as on other sites that are urban and have a younger black female audience, is really making me go into protection mode.I really have a desire to protect young black girls from the vitriol and hatred that is being spewed toward them.I am glad that I can expose my younger sisters to sites such as this.I just can't help but to think about some young black girl reading the filth that black men are saying and internalizing it.I'm going back to lurk mode for a while. I feel the need to reread your many essays along with Khadija's.They are very encouraging and are very solution oriented so that we don't have to start feeling that "woe is me or us" attitude coming on.Sometimes it's better to just sit back observe and listen.I'll be lurkin'

Ava said...

I dont think that black women are even attracted to John Mayer. That is probably the problem that he cant get one so he did not answer the question and tell the truth. If he had he would have said "no black women dont usually go for me" instead he turned it around and dissed black women instead.


If I were a white women I would feel threatened right now...When they see a black women walking around with a white man it questions the whole "white woman on the pedestal notion".

Jacque said...

I agree there should be an anti defamation league for black women. A lot of crap in the media is meant to slander us, put us down and downright lie about us. And to be honest white women (as a group) are obssesed with themselves. But indiviually insecure....VERY insecure. That pedastal( that most men in the western world have them on )is now sooo high that the air is gettin' thin up there ....And THEY know that it is about to CRUMBLE!!!
As we all know, black men, white men, and other men have been drinkin' the SAME KOOL AID. But a lot of men of many backrounds are waking up. And many for the first time are starting to see beauty and worthiness elsewhere ( ie black women). The insecure crowd ( black men who feel thaey have lost control of the sista's and white women who have a lot to lose period will probably keep stirring the pot in the media to met their agenda.
Sorry to say, but a lot of black women are drinkin' the KOOL AID too.

Ava said...

I think that the progressive black women who have jumped ship and the men who love them dont care to discuss this fool...

Just Some Black Guy said...

"YOU AND I both know that MOST black men don't give a darn about what John Mayer said about black women *rolls eyes*.Black men have been saying the same things about black women that John said.Word for word action for action." (Truthp, Post #7)

*Checks the name of this site*

"Black Women's Interracial Relationship Circle"

Mmhmm. So this is a site focusing on Black women and IR relationships (with non-BM). No confusion there...

*Checks to see if the article in question ("John Mayer") mentioned Black men, whatsoever.*

Ah, nope. No mention of Black men here.

So... why are Black men being mentioned? I mean, here the poster gives you a chance to take a break from all of that. Haha, so Halima, I guess this is what you'd call White Male protectionism?

Oh noes!! "He's been hanging around rappers..." (GoldenAh, Post #3) My goodness.

Please stay on subject, Truthp and GoldenAh. It IS possible for John Mayer to mess up through no one's fault but his own. Shocking? I know.

That being said, I was sincerely surprised to hear John Mayer say what he said about Black women... Black people in general, really. He seemed down to earth, and very progressive. Apparently not progressive enough. The fact remains that he was comfortable enough to say such things in public. But why?

This would actually make a great article, I'll send you a copy Miss Halima.

John Mayer is a White man in America, so I think he'll be just fine. We'll all probably forget about this in two weeks. Then you ladies can go back to your talks of "mammies" and "dbrbm's" and all that wonderful stuff. Have a great evening.

Anonymous said...

Halima, I often post here (Or at least I used to) and I have noticed you do not post my comments anymore. This hurts me because I'm NOT against BW being in interracial relationships, I just feel that there is sometimes a little too much blaming of Black women and girls on your part for behaving in a way they have been indoctrinated to from birth basically, or from very young girlhood. There is not enough focus on the simple fact that Black men don't love Black women, and that has put Black women in a very big pickle, between a rock and a hard place, and then some.

Please post this. I want to have a dialogue here because I am ALL about empowering Black women & girls.

Lovisa said...

Halima said

A number of things stood out for me;
'open season on bw,' another thing is that Mayer is Jewish and for a Jewish person to be cosy citing white supremacist imagery and especially deploying these in response to other oppressed minorities drilled home the fact that when 'minorities' can fit into 'white' comfortably, they can be just as bad if not worse than racist whites.



What strikes me is that John Mayer is really only a few skin shades off of being considered a POC himself. lol His look is not typical for most white Americans- at least in the part of the country where I live.
Sometimes those that are "marginally white" fight even harder to mentally and otherwise maintain themselves on the white side of the line.

Oshun said...

@ Skupurple

"It also shows in my high opinion, that the only race of women, that men have been chasing after, wanting to be desired after, and get approval from is bw.If anything we are now THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT(funny how the tables have turned). All men know they can get an asian, hispanic, white woman, but a black woman, that is the ultimate challenge...and i like that...makes my stock go higher. Every man chases after what he can't get, and thus far its a bw. So I take this in stride."


Interesting POV. I hope that this is true and spreads. LOL


@ Neecy

I thought of that a loong while back and mentioned it on Evia's site. I am thinking/wondering would BW continue to shoot themselves in the foot though? I am still open to that idea 100%!

Becca said...

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who doesn't really see the relevance of John Mayer. My main issues with the interview and what he said were the questions the interviewer asked, and the way he answered, in an incredibly failed attempt at being clever.

I just *love* (note the sarcasm) how the interviewer asked if BW "throw themselves at" him? Really? John Mayer is not that cute and we are not desperate, as the interviewer seems to imply.

I also have a problem with how he put his exes on blast like he did. Like so many of you ladies have already said, this just emphasizes the fact that BW need to seriously vet ANY and ALL men we might be interested in. I don't care if he's Prince William. We have to properly vet any potential match before we get too serious. The fact that Mayer was so quick to bad-mouth Aniston and Simpson shows how much of an uncouth misogynist he is.

My other issues was how he described Kerry Washington as "white girl crazy". What the heck does that even mean?! If anything, it sounds like an overwhelmingly general, offensive, and stereotypical description of white women. One would think they'd be up in arms about that.

But yeah...I'm not losing any sleep over this John Mayer crap.

Anonymous said...

Why are people so quick to down Holly Peete and basically call sistahs hurt by this jerk's comments idiots for feeling that way, yet there is so much kid-glove "I don't hate ALL White women" proclamations when someone points out that a White woman asked that stupid question, and that a LOT of White women seem to be behind a lot of the media mess being thrown at us Black women?

White women shouldn't get a free pass on their racism towards Black women on Black women's empowerment blogs, of all places.

Karen r said...

I applaud your work and enjoy reading your blog. John Mayers comments are taken for what they are...the immature musings of a non-quality male who happens to be white. His statements should not and probably will not dissuade those who are seeking a quality mate. Many black women are no longer content to remain in all-black enclaves and accepting the abnormal as normal. Those DBR's who want to use JM's comments as symbolic of anything are just desperate and grasping at straws to try to keep bw back and accepting of their (DBR's) craziness. Too late. Many bw have awakened. Keep up the work. Many more need to hear your words.

Anonymous said...

Many light skinned BW (and BTW yes i am one myself) will not stand up against the colorism in the Black community b/c it benefits US and b/c standing up against the colorism in the black community and denounicng may pull us off that special lil pedestal and advantage we've had for so long in the love and relationship dept over other beautiful darker sisters.

---

Hey Neecy,

Just how do you propose light-skinned BW go about doing that?!

Pamela said...

I heard this man play at Michael Jackson's funeral. The next time was on blogs talking about his comments. I never saw the interview nor do I care to. I guess I am old enough to know that he is just a man giving his opinion. It has nothing to do with any bw at all. I could care less about what he thinks about bw as long as he is not threatening their lives. If he is not attractive to bw then let him be with who he wants. There are many non-black men that want bw. Those are the only ones bw should care about and try to meet.

I do understand why some bw might be upset because there is rarely any good press in the media about bw. Also those that are around insane bm that will use this towards insecure bw may have some emotional trauma. Those that are secure in who they are will completely ignore their madness or laugh in their face, that is, the bolder ones among us.

I'm glad that my husband and I quit watching TV and partaking of just about all media years before we started dating. That is the best advice I could give to bw since we all know that it is a rare day that there is anything good said about us in the media. Ignore their behinds and live your life.

Anonymous said...

I haven't read all the posts but one thing people seemed to have missed is the fact that the imbecile John Mayer when asked if black women throw themselves at him, basically reponded 'no they don't' when he explained that it's because he isn't open to it. "You don't want me but I didn't want you first" = SOUR GRAPES. The boob then goes on to list 3 BW he IS attracted to. What a nimrod.

It's Jessica Simpson and not BW who should be seething right about now. She was actually in a relationship with that clown and he's now talking about her like she was nothing more than a high priced hooker.

Just think if that bird-brain could manage to pull a BW what kind of embarrasing mess he'd would have been saying about her in that garbage interview.

Lorraine said...

Missy hit on a good point. JM using David Duke is a poor example anyway because we know what men like David Duke, Klansmen, slaveowners etc. were really like. Their private parts were in no way racists. Anyone remember Strom Thurmond? Their mouths spouted off one thing, but the private parts definitely said another.

JM is free to say, feel, do, be whatever he wants. Glad he outed himself. He has most likely been listening to dbrsbm anyway.

No love lost or gained here.

mekare said...

I can say I was hurt by JM's comments. Him not being sexually attractive to bw wasnt an issue to me but how he disrespected bw in his comments was. How he felt so free to say such a thing in public concerned me. I purchased his music and thought he was a descent person and artist but I was wrong. His comments came out of the blue. I am not surprised by racism but to say your penis is like David Duke was WAY off. And he didnt apologize for it (not really) so Im just truly disgusted.

Halima said...

Mekare

For sure. he shouldnt even have said anything about his non attraction to bw (if that is what he said because I am having a hard time making sense out of half the stuff he said so i might be corrected).

Its all good and well to claim to be unfazed about this stuff but i want to point out something.

There has been a moratorium in place over white men in particular saying anything re attraction to bw for or against(It hasnt quite worked the other way and has been 'allowed' because of the historical back story). Society has censored any commentary in that regard. Most whatever commentary wm had for or against was kept down low and out of sight. This social rule has been in place for as long as I can say. some of the results are with us including the uncertainty about wm's attraction to bw and vice versa (so there were pros and cons to the situation).

something is breaking down that 'gentelmanly' agreement and I am trying to probe what it is and why it is happening now.

mekare said...

Interesting statement. I dont know what that is either. I do know bw have a hard enough time with bm telling them that they are ugly then to have JM say something like that out of the clear blue was a bit too much for me. So what are black women supposed to do? Evaporate? Because I know this one will not be going back to a bm or the bc any time soon.

Now I can make cracks about wm or Jewish people or deny the Holocaust and see how he takes it.

This guy had a lot of bw fans and he just felt a-okay to dog them like that in public. What the hell is wrong with this guy? I cant even shake that.

NO it does not make me think all wm arent attracted to bw or anything like that.

The thought does bother me that bw will now have to deal with misogynistic comments and open disrespect from wm like we have to deal with from bm. THAT scares me.

And yes stuff like this and other things does make me look at wm differently. I NEVER though wm were perfect but I didnt expect an off the wall comment like that coming from a wm mouth. I can look at people as individuals but you can not cross the line like that and not think that relationships of any kind between bw and wm will be ok.

And of course lots of bm are there agreeing with JM just like they did with Don Imus. I knew that deep down inside bm want wm to feel the same way that they feel about bw. I knew that. They like seeing bw degraded. What do they expect from bw who have left the bc? To come back because of this? Come back to what? WW chasing, colorism, OOW kids, misogyny, lack of education, hatred of bw?

I cant shake this one. Not because I feel like no man wants me. Thats not it at all. I just dont want to deal with open anti-bw
misogyny from wm like we have to deal with it from bm.

Halima said...

Mekare its good to know your feelings on things like this.

I know there are bw of varying temperaments. some will for sure take this to mean all sorts of things!

I will let others maybe engage with your comments, i hope you are open to that.

I can look at people as individuals but you can not cross the line like that and not think that relationships of any kind between bw and wm will be ok.

To me this seemed a bit confusing, is it meant for me or white men.

its like you had some type of scenerio in your mind where there is the white men team and the black women team involved in some work together where everyone knows the rules, and then someone from the white mans team went and did something against the rules...

I think the problem with this kind of reasoning is that when bw go around beliving they have certain 'agreements' with others, it is easy to hurt.

GoldenAh said...

The anti-defamation league for BW is a good idea.

This alternative could work too. We reward our "friends" that show BW respect, love and appreciation:
1, a thank you via email or letter
2, spend our dollars with them
3, provide our vocal support
4, give them praise, but not too lavishly
5, offer a "virtual award" or "seal of approval".

Evia mentions this and she spotlights people who she feels are doing well by us. We all could do the same. I need to do it also.

Focus on the positive!

Yet, it is worthwhile to discuss JM just to help pinpoint what's really going on: the media war against BW.

This assault was started by ignorant and uneducated rappers. Damaged beyond all repair negros enjoy calling themselves the N-word, and black women such vile nasty names, JM thought it gave him a hood-rat pass. He's confused the imbeciles he hangs around with as being all black people.

Black dbr males are the only ones to embrace and celebrate this kind of stupidity.That's why JM's verbal assault against us makes them so happy. A Brazilian mayor in Rio banned rap "music", he knows what damage that garbage is causing.

Now the mainstream media (ww) carries the "open season on bw" ball.

Notice how JM cannot even apologize to women?

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mekare.

I don't care what his preference is at all. It is clear he likes blond, blue eyes. I was also a fan of his music. I did'nt want to jump the guy, I liked his music. Why not just say I've never dated black women...end of story. The David Duke statement just seemed to be like he was rubbing it in. Another thing is that yet again the MEDIA is picking apart black women. With the marriage statistics, the Google Michelle picture, nappy headed ho. I have a wonderful self esteem no help from the media. john minor's racist dick is a long list of ways the media tries to control and bring down uppity black women. This not only happens to black women...look at the mysogyny and open hatred towards white women during the super bowl ads. At this moment American men of ALL races are DBR.

mekare said...

The comment was meant for you.

No I do not think there is some white man team and black woman team working together for a common goal.

I was just saying that I can make judge a white man as an individual but when one steps out of line like JM, it does affect my opinion of wm. It does make me think less of them but that is just me.

Im not upset that he only dates whites. His off the wall nasty comments what sting. And the came from the blue. Its not like some bw did something to him. Why would you say such a thing?

I think it bugs me more since I have purchased his music. THAT bugs me as well. I might not have the reaction that I did if I didnt actively listen to his music.

Neecy said...

Part 1

That's the thing Halima. many BW are expecting some group of persons to be in our corner. The minute BW realize that NO COLLECTIVE GROUP of anyone (BM, WW, WM etc) is out to elevate and uplift us, then we will not feel slighted or stabbed in the back when someone of that particular group or gender puts us down.

BW need to accept and face the hard reality we are in this world BY OURSELVES when it comes to uplifting and elevating ourselves.

Please stop looking to fake arsed POSERS (like J Mayer who look the "liberal part") to make you feel they are in your corner.

When BW stop depending on others for our self worth, protection and elevation only then can we come together start cutting off the necks off those who put us down and elevate EACH OTHER!

The Jews did it. They were the most hated group and lied on group throughout Europe - hence the Holocaust. They were hated b/c they were a THREAT to the establishments in Europe. People were JEALOUS of them for many reasons. And as a result they not only tarnished their name and religion but murdered them without cause. now look at the jews! They are a force to be reckon with. And they are not where they are now, b/c they sat down, started feeling sorry for themselves, questioned their self worth as a group etc. They pulled together and kept their self pride and fought back the smart way. They started tier own companies and businesses. They STUCK TOGETHER. They UNAPOLOGETICALLY supported each other and stomped anyone who disrespected them as a GROUP.

BW are going through our own Holocaust if you will. No we are not being put in gas chambers. but we are being lied on, verbally assaulted, wrongfully flogged for what?? Because there is HATE, JEALOUSY (and this is the underlying theme of all the hate spewed at BW) towards us as a group.

We are either going to do like the jews did and survive and not only SURVIVE but create an atmosphere where we will NEVER tolerate anyone publically putting us down without recourse.

Neecy said...

Part 2

I kind of see this crisis BW are dealing with right now as a blessing and a curse. We can make some real needed and good changes for ourselves at this point if we remain critical, stick together and fight back in the most effective way.

Falling into thier trap and feeling sorry for ourselves? We will never survive... This may sound harsh but I simply don’t care anymore. But at this juncture, cowering down, crying, being emotionally invested in people who aint got our best interest? Black women will NOT SURVIVE as a group with this lowly mentality of feeling bad and sorry for ourselves and developing low self esteem and shriveling up in a corner crying the blues. You can kill people in many ways. But if you kill the mind and confidence you pretty much have walking flesh that you can do anything you want to. And that is what society is trying to do to Black women. There is simply no more room for BW to feel bad and sorry for ourselves. Its just not. Its do or die. Time to suck it up and be a big girl and stop expecting others to elevate you. Stop putting so much stock into others and start doing your part to fight this nonsense where its going to hurt those who perpetuate it.

Faith said...

I wonder how some stories take off while other serious things are completely ignored. Why focus on Mayer when we have Robert DeNiro!!! And plenty of other appealing white males who love black women. Don't fall for the okey doke!!

Neecy said...

To ANON @ 5:31 AM
you said:

"Just how do you propose light-skinned BW go about doing that?!"

I say:
You know what - at this point does it really matter? I used that example as a way to illustrate why WW would be less willing to come to the rescue of BW in these instances b/c they have too much too lose.

AT THIS JUNCTURE in the game, light skinned BW trying to improve the black communities colorism issues is a waste. It shoudl have been done DECADES AGO. Any BW (light dark and in between) trying to fix ANYTHING in the black community is a waste. And because of the effects and the lack of value the Black community has towards BW, we now have bigger frickin fish to fry. And that is the spill over of our BAD treatment in our own community which now has society as a whole participating in our devaluement as women.

You see general society sees how the Black community treats BW and is now on some mission to "finish us off".

So in answer to your question. AT THIS POINT i don't propose light skinned BW to try to fix ish. I DO propose that light skinned BW and dark skinned BW open thier freakin eyes and recognize that we are fighting a bigger battle here that is way beyond the simplness in the black community.

Neecy said...

sorry for all the spelling errors lol. i forgot to spell check.

Neecy said...

Black women its time for an org liek this that fights anti- Black woman hatred.

"The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) is an international non-governmental organization based in the United States. Describing itself as "the nation's premier civil rights/human relations agency", the ADL states that it "fights anti-Semitism and all forms of bigotry, defends democratic ideals and protects civil rights for all" while it "[advocates] for Israel [...] with policymakers, the media and the public" and "defends the security of Israel and Jews worldwide".[1][2]

Founded in 1913 by The Independent Order of B'nai B'rith, a Jewish service organization in the United States, its original mission statement was "to stop, by appeals to reason and conscience and, if necessary, by appeals to law, the defamation of the Jewish people. Its ultimate purpose is to secure justice and fair treatment to all citizens alike and to put an end forever to unjust and unfair discrimination against and ridicule of any sect or body of citizens."[1]

Oshun said...

@ Mekare

"The thought does bother me that bw will now have to deal with misogynistic comments and open disrespect from wm like we have to deal with from bm. THAT scares me."

Ok, I can see how this would be frightening. Considering that BW don't have the level of protection other groups of women have.

But I would like to think that it would not be across the board because only a certain type of guy would find that sort of abuse appealing.

I would like to know what a sane WM thinks about this?

arthur said...

.. This guy had a lot of bw fans and he just felt a-okay to dog them like that in public. What the hell is wrong with this guy? ..

I don't know anything for sure, but I can tell you what I think. I can remember back in the '60s, there were a lot of young wm who thought that bm were the coolest guys on the planet; the young bm could dance, and knew how to talk to girls, and the way they talked was soooo cool, and that's been going on since then. So, since there's nothing cooler than a bm, the way to be cool is to mimic their behavior.

You see where this is going.

When Imus made his insults, he was surely parroting what he must have been hearing the bm he hung with say, and if they said those things, why, it must be cool for him to say them too. Same with John Mayer.

I think also that we're hearing this more lately because bm have been much more open about dogging bw over the last several years and the wm seeking 'coolness' are just following along.

Anyway, my $0.02.

Anonymous said...

Halima, I'm glad you posted this. I couldn't wait to weigh in. My comments are centered on what I have observed about wm in the U.S. with respect to ir marriage. I have a different way of looking at this from what I have read in the comments so far.

I find it very hard to believe that all those educated bw living in the most liberal areas of the country are just soooo devoted to bm that they're rejecting all those "eager-to-marry-bw liberal wm" left and right. Other factors must be considered.

When I read some comments (not on this post), it appears as if there a nudging of ir-interested bw toward wm who are politically on the left, that is, more specifically, mainline liberal, progressive, center-left, liberal democrat, etc. and away from wm who swing to the right politically, specifically mainline conservatives, conservative republicans, center right, libertarians, constitutionalist, etc. It's not only the blogs where I see this tendency. Most people in general automatically assume that if a wm is married to a bw, then his political leanings must be on the left. What I find troubling about this knee-jerk assumption is that it seems to be based upon a belief that the left is synonymous with open-mindedness or that because the left is more open to certain things (i.e. gay marriage, women's rights) than conservatives, then they are naturally, automatically more accepting of and open to bw interracial marriage. People also make the mistake of assuming that just because a person is pro-bm/ww ir marriage, then they are automatically pro-wm/bw ir marriage. If this were true, then I think we would definitely see a lot more evidence of wm/bw IR unions in the most left-leaning urban areas of the country, and just as many wm/bw pairings as there are bm/ww pairings. (I heard an NPR show recently about interracial marriage and although they paid lip service to the Lovings, the entire show dealt with bm/ww.)

Upon closer inspection, however, one finds that many right-leaning wm tend not to be very colorist when it comes to selecting a spouse. Lots of people will deny it but even when some people admit this, they try to place a negative spin on it, claiming that conservative wm only want to dominate their wives of color or other such nonsense, as if they can't be just quality wm devoted to to their wife and children. I think right-leaning males tend to look for like-minded women and don't necessarily make phenotype their top priority, the way dbrbm and many left-leaning males tend to do. I'm not saying racist/colorist right-leaning wm don't exist or that there are no right-leaning dbrwm to watch out for. They are certainly out there. I'm simply trying to dispel the myth that the left-leaning, PC, anti-racist wm wearing his politics on his sleeve is far more likely to consider marrying a bw than a right-leaning wm. I think PC wm tend have the most hang-ups about ir.

Mayer is prime example of the hypocritical "I love black women" liberal wm, who is no different from the dbrbm. They may "date a black chick" so they can show proof of "street cred" or demonstrate that they're not racist, but at the end of the day, they have "issues" and wind up with a nordic-looking ww, while the demonized wm on the right are actually marrying black and other women of color. Conservative bw like Star Parker and Angela McGowan both married wm. Jesse Ventura's wife is a bw--they have two grown children, a son Tyrell and a daughter, Jade. There other are examples of these types of "unexpected" right-leaning wm and bw unions on YouTube as well.

I'm not advocating the rejection of all left-leaning wm but rather for bw to be more circumspect/observant and to consider the non-PC, politically "imperfect" wm.

Anonymous said...

John Mayer's comments do nothing to strengthen the argument of the black anti-ir crowd. There are so many well-known individuals in politics and/or entertainment who talk a good game to make everyone believe that they are so enamored with black people, have nothing but the highest opinion of black people, have a holier-than-thou concern for the well being of black people, yell "racist" at every white person who doesn't agree with them, and get on stage and link arms with black people, yet when it comes to their love life, there is no black person to be found -- and nobody complains. These kinds of people, like Mayer, are nothing but hypocrites. They use black people for political and/or monetary gain. This is nothing new. I'm glad Mayer was put on the spot in that interview because it was the only way his phoniness could be exposed. In fairness to Mayer, however, he could have been advised to keep quiet about anything that might make his white female audience feel rejected, because ww are far greater in number than bw. The interviewer could have asked him that knowing he had to say what he said to protect his livelihood. Still, he could have omitted the bw a**-kissing if he's really not attracted to bw.

I have noticed that young wm tend to shy away from ir dating because of fear of their parents cutting off financial support. Either that, or it's the tendency to follow whatever the pop culture says is trendy, hot, etc. Or there are those who idolize bm-- rappers, athletes, etc. and have the same colorist views they have about women. However by the time they reach middle age and after the ex-wife has turned his kids against him and bled him dry spiritually, emotionally, and financially, he's ready for a bw or other woman of color.

I just hate to a see nice, educated, young ir-interested bw wasting her time considering some colorist, bm-idolizing wm as mate potential because of some belief that because he's cool and liberal, he is more likely to seek IR marriage than a conservatives wm. I think this presumption is always made without actual investigation.


A side note: I remember a song years ago called "88 Lines about 44 Women" that was always played on alternative rock radio stations. The whole song was about the women this guy knew. The only thing he had to say about the bw in the song was "Mary was a black girl and I was afraid of a girl like that." I remember thinking: What was he afraid of? Her skin color??? and the fact that nobody ever called the artist or the song racist.

Bellydancer said...

I agree with Jazine that most black men are usuing this as an oppurtunity to say "see white men don't want ya'll" I had to check some ass on The Something New Board on IMDB see our exchange here about the same thing.

mogolo22 on Fri Feb 12 2010 10:55:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LMAO!!! Like I've been saying all along, Black American women's claims about "loyalty" to Black men being their principal bases for not dating interracially are BULLS___T! You all, for the most part, simply have a lack of options, and men like John Mayer are proof-positive of this. Talk to you later folks!

Me:
First of all don't get it twisted most black women don't date interracially out of fear and mistrust of other races most of which is fostered in the black community. Nobody thinks it's out of loyalty to black men.
Second of all just because John Mayer is an idiot who talks about all women in a negative way because he probably hangs around misogynistic asses like his so called black rapper friends, that doesn't mean that all white men think like him.
Tell me where he said anything worse than what mogolo has said about black women or yung berg, kanye and all those idiots on youtube that have said worse about black women.
Black women need to start vetting all men the same way and holding all men to the same standards and not letting them have a pass due to color or race.
I figured as soon as this hit the news mogolo's silly ass would be posting some bs about it. If anything the lil white bitch reporter must have been worried that he was gonna say like he liked black girls not that most of us give a shyte.

Jess said...

I think as bw we make ourselves look bad when we pay waaaay too much attention to what people say about not being attracted to us. Its like we give it too much weight and legs to run. DO you think ww would ever give a damn if a bm wasnt into ww?
The only thing wrong with what he said was "N igger pass" everything else was fine. BW look so pathetic getting worked up over his p enis only liking ww, who cares?

Jess said...

"You can’t keep looking for reassurances to ease your own personal insecurities/issues ALL the time to have the life you want."<<--I agree with this comment by Jazine!

Jacque said...

Halima,
How can we promote the positive images of black women in the media. One poster did mention some ideas..Thank you.
I'd like to be more proactive. I am all about tooting our horn. No one will do it for us. My husband ..an Ashkenazi Jew and myself will be conferring with the anti defamation league about distorted images of black women in the media. Can we sue for slander? I am interested in how they respond.

Selena said...

Thank you Skypurple for jarring my memory about the Mathew Mcconaughey interview. Out of the clear blue both of these guys were asked questions specifically targeted about black women...why not Asian or Hispanic women? I guess both interviewers felt the need to ease the anxieties felt by themselves and their counterparts.

African Americans make up about 13% in population in country. Approximately 54% of that consists of African American women. Yet we’re looked upon as a threat?? Ladies we’re some baaad azz women!!

Please don’t give this ass clown any more attention other than to say, one apple does not spoil the bunch!

Anonymous said...

BW look so pathetic getting worked up over his p enis only liking ww, who cares?




ITA Some wm like bw and some dont. Its no big deal. Lets stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Madonna said that bm were "sexist and primitive" in an interview with Spin Magazine does that stop them from persuring ww??

As far as bm laughing and agreeing w/ JM we already knew that negro men are simple-minded, immature DBRs, who will latch onto ANYTHING/or ANYONE thats devalues bw. This latest incident just proves our point.

Anonymous said...

Mekare 2 words:

THANK YOU.

Your post was very refreshing. There is NO REASON to make Black women upset by this fool's anti-BW misogny feel like weak crybabies or something.

Yet the same folks doing that garbage are "Aw poor-babying" Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston, as if either of those 2 give a damn about Black women.

What a joke!

sistrunkqueen said...

please be careful what you post on famous wm married to bw. Jesse Ventura is not married to a bw. His wife is a ww. I googled and foud her picture . Remember to be accurate because many dbr bw/bm are watching us online.

Anonymous said...

Jess and Neecy, please already.


It pains me to say this, but it appears that Black women have enemies on these blogs just like everywhere else.

White female protectionism.

Subtle, veiled Black male protectionism (Ie, complaining about how Black "people" are being discriminated against, when it is Black WOMEN who are getting the brunt of it).

Telling Black women to "Get over it" re this Mayer crap, Saying "It's fine" if Mayer insults us and "So what" if he prefers his precious White women, and calling Black women "Pathetic" if we have the nerve and gall to actually gasp!-feel bad about being constantly hated and disrespected from all sides. And the sick part of it is that the women doing this somehow think they are "pro-Black women".

These women would be better off on blogs that support White women, Black men, John Mayer, White men, ANYONE but Black women, because their TRUE anti-Black women feelings are very obvious to me.

tlynn said...

The only issue I have is with John Mayer saying the N word. I am a John Mayer fan, but because he doesn't date BW I shouldn't be? Interesting...so because Michael Jaskson didn't date BW I'm not fan of his??? See what I mean?

KM said...

I used to listen to his music but after his comments, I put him in the trash can with all of the other anti-BW musicians. He's a DBRWM, he's open with it and now, I'm not interested with what he has to say.

And to piggy-back off of Anon 8:11PM, ANY MAN WHO WORSHIPS BM-LIFESTYLE/MUSIC SHOULD BE AVOIDED. They have been poisoned sand yes, there is Paul Wall but for every Paul Wall, there are 15 Eminems willing to use BW just as badly as DBRBM do. Like others have said, we must VET, VET, AND VET SOME MORE!!

Anonymous said...

I'm seeing all these headlines "John Mayer hates on bw...." but if he did then why would he name three black women that he thought were attractive? I just think he's immature and he obviously speaks without thinking. People shouldn't read too much into that. Far worse things have been said by black men to black women...seriously.

mekare said...

This comment is directected at Neecy and I hope you werent referring to me when you mentioned that bw are looking to others to elevate them, having low self-esteem and other stuff.

I am FULLY aware that bw are in it alone. I dont think a lot of bw were looking for JM to uplift them and say "I love bw" but his comments were low, asinine and just messed up in general. They were uneeded. Especially when you have bw buying his music.

Its not like I purchased hip-hop music were the guy is calling bw names out loud. Thus guy is singing about "Daughters" and things that bw (because we are women) can relate to and he comes out of the blue with hey my penis is like David Duke but I love Kerry Washington BS when you have my money. This was way out of the blue.

So whats the solution to this?

Khadija said...

@Neecy at 4:24 p.m.:

I 100% co-sign. {deep martial arts bow in salute}

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Halima said...

Attention!
Please see update on main page

Magenta said...

I think these comments show a very disturbing trend. I hope this does not rub anyone the wrong way, but I think that men are "predatory" in nature. Meaning that it is in their nature to exploit and dominate women. What prevents men from acting out in this manner the level of protection women have. When women are not protected by the males in their collective, they are sitting ducks. The reason why these hit jobs on BW keep taking place is because it is a known fact BW are NOT protected or valued by their own group. This makes us easy targets. More people will feel comfortable bashing BW because they know they will be no consequences. And just like in the case of Don Imus, DBRBM and their female co-conspirators have already taken amusement and have run to his defense. As crazy as this sounds I think JM's comments actually strengthen the IR/divestment/BWE message. BW have no protection, therefore we are seen as easy marks. DBRs are not satisfied with destroying our currency in the BC, they also want to destroy our currency on the NATIONAL and GLOBAL scene. They want to make BW a permanent "undesirable", so that we can continue to be vulnerable to exploitation. After we are officially declared an undesirable, there is no turning back! This is dangerous stuff. It goes deeper than some dumb musician's comments. Now that the whole nation is on notice that BW are easy targets, we are vulnerable to extreme physical danger. We don't have much longer to save ourselves, we MUST get serious about seeking out quality mates that will serve as protectors. We also seek out vetted allies that we can count on. We must end all non-reciprocal relationships that depreciate our value. We must stop financially supporting those who degrade BW. Like Neecy said we are not going to be able to count on any ethnic group to protect us, but if we are shrewd and diligent we can create our own alliances and power base. But this must be done now!

Felicia said...

ITA Magenta.

These are EXCELLENT points you've made.

It's what I and others have been saying all along. Women regardless of "race" will rise OR fall according to the men they align themselves with.

The majority of BW have aligned themselves with BM - most of whom are obviously DBR otherwise the statistics related to them, and the children they produce, wouldn't be so negative (70% of black children are being raised solely by their mothers because their fathers have abandoned them which is SHAMEFUL) - out of habit and indoctrination.

BW can choose to align themselves with other NON damaged and non colorist men in the global village who ARE willing to provide love, marriage, safety, and security for BW and their children.

BW can make this choice TODAY. To CEASE having anything to do with (both online AND off) DBRBM and instead focus like a LAZER BEAM on non damaged quality men.

BW who are willing to do this have JUST as many chances of meeting Mr. Right (a family oriented, employed, non colorist, marriage minded gentleman) as every other woman on this planet.

But IMO BW are going to have to first let these "black community" notions DIE. Once and for all.

Your community is of YOUR making and you determine who is and isn't a member.

If a BW can't rely on her community to uplift her, support her (and her best interest), and protect her and her children, then BW need to scr*w it and join and/or form NEW communities that can.

Free individual BW who are determined to live and love well - regardless of what happens to the majority of black folks - are doing just this every day.

williams said...

@Neecy,

I TOTALLY agree with you about forming some type of organization or league to stop this; HOWEVER, the media is a slicker, they are planning something sinister against not just BW, but minorities as a whole. The whole John Mayer thing is nothing more than a distraction.

Please research "government media mind control" to get a good idea of what I am talking about. The gov invaded the black culture through 'hip-hop' music and rap. To understand this invasion, please look up, "mk ultra celebrities' to learn more.

Now, the destruction of the black family started in these segments:

1)slavery
2)discrimination
3)limited education
4)government mind control experiments (read on the Tuskegee airman and how the gov allowed the injection of syhllis in unaware black men without their knowledge while watching them suffer...goverment mind control programs like these are STILL going on till this very day (mk ultra, monarch celebrities, ritual sacrafice,child sex slave rings, etc.)


Then, in the more recent years, these things happened:

1)Television programming to decrease the self-esteem of black women and men (i don't even want to name the whole list of racist or stereo-typed television shows)

2)Welfare- this program was first created to break up the black family...they kept black women down by allowing them to NOT work...if you hand out a free check to someone and tell them they don't have to work..what do you think??DUH!! BW were also NOT allowed to have a man in the house, because that meant you had someone helping to "pay the bills"...pure mess.

3)Encouraging women independence- while this may seem like a good thing on the surface, it actually hurts the black families. BW feel "they don't need a man", and while this is true to some regards, a child does need both parents. This is and still is a SYSTEMATIC mind control tool to break up familes and especially black families, listen to the amount of songs that talk about a black woman being independent (Jamie Fox-Independent woman, Destiny Child-Independent women, Bills, Bills, Bills," and the list goes on. Do you see many white artist singing about being independent and having their own?....UH-NOOOOO!



I would vote for having that league or organization invented for BW, but the problem is, it only adds to the government's plan by directing attention them. If everyone ignored what John Mayer said, it would have had NO effect at all. BUT, since everyone is talking about and blogging about it,it actually ADDS to their evil cause. UGH!


Now,John Mayer was just expressing what most white males have in the back of their mind already. We are ALL predjudice to some degree; thanks to the years of brainwashing from television, radio and media mess. Some rise above it, while most succumb to the brainwashing. John mayers little rant means nothing to me cause I know this "interview" is PLANNED propaganda...NEXT!

shimmy said...

I may be a little late with this but I'm going to add my opinion. I think the reason why John Mayer felt comfortable saying that about black women is because he knows that hardly anyone defend us. I said the same thing on another blog. He knows that some black men degrade us too so he felt that it's ok. Anytime these black men put us down, they give greater permission for non black people to do it too. I feel that's why Don Imus said what he said. Some black men even agreed with him.

The sad part about it is that there are many others that feel the same way including some dbr blacks. It's disturbing because it seem like it's becoming normal for these people to degrade us. I think they intentionally say derogatory things about us to lower our self worth and self esteem. Even some black women will put other black women down not realizing that they are harming themselves too because we already have a negative public image in the minds of a lot of people.

I also think a lot of other non black women also get enjoyment out of seeing us be put down like that. That's their way of feeling superior to us so we can't even depend on other races of women defending us. Many non black women are just as hateful and disrespectful toward us too. They really hate the black women that don't fit the negative stereotpyes. Only like minded black women and our supporters should find ways to combat this disrespectful behavior and negative stereotypes. Sorry for being so long

Anonymous said...

"Now, the destruction of the black family started in these segments:"


The destruction of the black family started when black men LEFT black women and the black children they produced with black women.

The destruction of the black family started when the majority of black men refused to marry the black women that they were sexing.

The destruction of the black family started when the majority of black males who were doing well financially decided to create biracial families with non black women instead of black families with black women.

That's when the destruction of the black family started.

During the days of slavery a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents than he or she is today.

http://www.divorcereform.org/black.html

BLACK MEN killed the black family. Not slavery. Not racism. Not white society. And not white men.

DON'T FALL FOR THESE JEDI MIND TRICKS SISTAS.

Fii said...

I definitely deleted the one song I had from him right off of my Ipod! It was the only remotely good one anyway. lol.

John Mayer is the last person to be speaking on relationships of any kind. His man-child ways he can't even keep a relationship with a white woman (Jennifer Anniston), and has been stringing her along for years.

He's not even attractive, by any means. So if he doesn't like black women. That's good for us.

Everyone is entitled to their preferences anyway.

ak said...

I the UK where I'm living for now, they never talk about him or show his picture nor talk about him UNLESS it was to say he was going out with Jennifer Anniston AND they'd have to include a picture of her with him in their little media blurbs over here in the UK anyway.

Again the only time the UK showed John Mayer doing anything musical or otherwise was when he played the guitar at Michael Jackson's funeral. His songs have not been charted over here on any pop charts, R & B charts nor anything! If it wasn't for Halima, my memory would have to be jogged a lot!

Only until someone says the words 'Michael Jackson's funeral' because I watched a big chunk of that! LOL

NijaG said...

@ William,

A lot of what you wrote just seems defeatist and fear based.

I'm not going to dispute the majority of what you wrote, but however there is a MAJOR mission component missing:

The Black Communities, accountability and responsibility to/for themselves.

This thing of expecting "White America" to address all the wrongs they've done and make it equal is infantile thinking afaimc. Research history and the present and tell me which other nation/group has tried to correct similar wrongs on the level of the USA.

I doubt you'll find it. If anyone can, please do and prove me wrong.(The Holocaust doesn't count. The Allies had to force or put pressure for the Germans to make any reparations).

No one can do what you don't allow them.

This issue of insulting BW and portraying BW and by large the BC in a negative light would not possible w/o the complacent agreement of BM and BC in current times.

After all, I remember some the programs of the 70's, 80's and early 90's. There was a much balanced showing of the various aspects/levels of the AA life.

Anonymous said...

"I would vote for having that league or organization invented for BW, but the problem is, it only adds to the government's plan by directing attention them."

The ADL is run by its members and not the government. Here is a link describing what they do to protect themselves and their images..

http://www.adl.org/about.asp

I'm ready when Y'all are....

ak said...

Anonymous:

Why are people so quick to down Holly Peete and basically call sistahs hurt by this jerk's comments idiots for feeling that way, yet there is so much kid-glove "I don't hate ALL White women" proclamations when someone points out that a White woman asked that stupid question, and that a LOT of White women seem to be behind a lot of the media mess being thrown at us Black women?

White women shouldn't get a free pass on their racism towards Black women on Black women's empowerment blogs, of all places.



No there's no kid glove treatment from me when it comes to the WW who have agendas especially those who work in the media. Black women have forgotten that white women have broken through their glass ceilings a long while back now, so if some of them feel that because they 'run things' now and that they can pull strings for and against certain groups of people because of their own little agendas well I guess they will. I don't hate all WW but I don't love all of them either especially those who show and have their covert or overt agendas against black women!

On Sara's IR blog somebody said that at one time a white woman editor of Cosmo magazine told Naomi Campbell, to her face I'm assuming, that as long as she was head of Cosmo that 'they'd never put a black woman on their cover' and there's a white woman who ran, owned, or use to run the Ford modelling agency and plenty of black people have said that Ford hardly ever likes to sign up black women models to find them work, and someone else on Sara's IR blog also said that Vogue magazine told Vera Wang to use more black models in her shows and she told them that she didn't want to use any black women models, and that she may consider using someone biracial. Which is why Zoe Kravitz, who I'm sure was only used because of her famous parents, was used for Wang's new perfume's ads.

Never underestimate anybody's determination to get their agenda across. Overtly or covertly.

Bellydancer said...

I knew it would only be a matter of time before a brother showed up here with a government conspiracy with a slice of anti-feminism thrown in to explain thangs. Notice how he blames feminism, welfare and independence for breaking up the black family but says he will not support a league to uplift black women because it focuses too much on them. Then follows up to say most white males are prejudiced and not to worry about John Mayer because of the government conspiracy but yet and still black men are not mentioned as some of the cause of the family break up and again why this tone of discussion when the destruction of the black family is not the main topic

williams said...
@Neecy,

I TOTALLY agree with you about forming some type of organization or league to stop this; HOWEVER, the media is a slicker, they are planning something sinister against not just BW, but minorities as a whole. The whole John Mayer thing is nothing more than a distraction.

Please research "government media mind control" to get a good idea of what I am talking about. The gov invaded the black culture through 'hip-hop' music and rap. To understand this invasion, please look up, "mk ultra celebrities' to learn more.

1)Television programming to decrease the self-esteem of black women and men (i don't even want to name the whole list of racist or stereo-typed television shows)

2)Welfare- this program was first created to break up the black family...they kept black women down by allowing them to NOT work...if you hand out a free check to someone and tell them they don't have to work..what do you think??DUH!! BW were also NOT allowed to have a man in the house, because that meant you had someone helping to "pay the bills"...pure mess.

3)Encouraging women independence- while this may seem like a good thing on the surface, it actually hurts the black families. BW feel "they don't need a man", and while this is true to some regards, a child does need both parents. This is and still is a SYSTEMATIC mind control tool to break up familes and especially black families, listen to the amount of songs that talk about a black woman being independent (Jamie Fox-Independent woman, Destiny Child-Independent women, Bills, Bills, Bills," and the list goes on. Do you see many white artist singing about being independent and having their own?....UH-NOOOOO!



I would vote for having that league or organization invented for BW, but the problem is, it only adds to the government's plan by directing attention them. If everyone ignored what John Mayer said, it would have had NO effect at all. BUT, since everyone is talking about and blogging about it,it actually ADDS to their evil cause. UGH!

Now,John Mayer was just expressing what most white males have in the back of their mind already. We are ALL predjudice to some degree; thanks to the years of brainwashing from television, radio and media mess. Some rise above it, while most succumb to the brainwashing. John mayers little rant means nothing to me cause I know this "interview" is PLANNED propaganda...NEXT!

Anonymous said...

BLACK MEN killed the black family. Not slavery. Not racism. Not white society. And not white men.

And not the government.

NijaG said...

Bellydancer said:

I knew it would only be a matter of time before a brother showed up here with a government conspiracy with a slice of anti-feminism thrown in to explain thangs. Notice how he blames feminism, welfare and independence for breaking up the black family but says he will not support a league to uplift black women because it focuses too much on them. Then follows up to say most white males are prejudiced and not to worry about John Mayer because of the government conspiracy but yet and still black men are not mentioned as some of the cause of the family break up and again why this tone of discussion when the destruction of the black family is not the main topic

**********************************

My Response:

Please note this particular sentence by William:

Now,John Mayer was just expressing what most white males have in the back of their mind already.

Doesn't it seem that William just had to slip in a little **reminder** to us BW that most WM won't want us and will succumb to **indoctrination**?

Honestly, I've reached a point where I can't listen even for a second to BP, especially BM talk about "the White Man" and government. I really can't. My main motto in life right now is,
Talk is cheap. If you're not doing something to change the situation, then KEEP QUIET and DON'T COMPLAIN.

shimmy said...

White women shouldn't get a free pass on their racism towards Black women on Black women's empowerment blogs, of all places.


My reply: That's how I feel too. I commented on that in my above post that non black women can be very hateful and disrespectful toward us too. They are not innocent either because people are always saying that black women are jealous of other non black women. Like non black women can't be hateful towards us. I'm not just talking about white women either. A lot of the Asian, Arab, Latina and Indian women are like this too. They especially HATE you if you don't fit the negative black female stereotypes. I'm not saying all of them are like that, but a good percentage of them are racist toward us. I think a lot of it comes from hate and jealousy.

Anonymous said...

The destruction of the black family started when black men LEFT black women and the black children they produced with black women.

The destruction of the black family started when the majority of black men refused to marry the black women that they were sexing.

The destruction of the black family started when the majority of black males who were doing well financially decided to create biracial families with non black women instead of black families with black women.

That's when the destruction of the black family started.

During the days of slavery a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents than he or she is today.
http://www.divorcereform.org/black.html

BLACK MEN killed the black family. Not slavery. Not racism. Not white society. And not white men.

DON'T FALL FOR THESE JEDI MIND TRICKS SISTAS



EXACTLY. THANK YOU anon @ 1:14 PM

Anonymous said...

Shimmy said:

My reply: That's how I feel too. I commented on that in my above post that non black women can be very hateful and disrespectful toward us too. They are not innocent either because people are always saying that black women are jealous of other non black women. Like non black women can't be hateful towards us. I'm not just talking about white women either. A lot of the Asian, Arab, Latina and Indian women are like this too. They especially HATE you if you don't fit the negative black female stereotypes. I'm not saying all of them are like that, but a good percentage of them are racist toward us. I think a lot of it comes from hate and jealousy.

I 100% agree Shimmy. Thank you.

focusedpurpose said...

" BW need to start acting like Jewish people. You say something about them, they cut you off at the neck (not physical violence but FINANCIAL VIOLENCE lol). The only way things will change is if BW STOP supporting those who openly disrespect us. Personally I think BW could use a break from the media and entertainemnt. I know its hard to do but maybe its time."


AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN!!!!

ak said...

mekare:

Interesting statement. I dont know what that is either. I do know bw have a hard enough time with bm telling them that they are ugly then to have JM say something like that out of the clear blue was a bit too much for me. So what are black women supposed to do? Evaporate? Because I know this one will not be going back to a bm or the bc any time soon.

Now I can make cracks about wm or Jewish people or deny the Holocaust and see how he takes it.

This guy had a lot of bw fans and he just felt a-okay to dog them like that in public. What the hell is wrong with this guy? I cant even shake that.

NO it does not make me think all wm arent attracted to bw or anything like that.

The thought does bother me that bw will now have to deal with misogynistic comments and open disrespect from wm like we have to deal with from bm. THAT scares me.

And yes stuff like this and other things does make me look at wm differently. I NEVER though wm were perfect but I didnt expect an off the wall comment like that coming from a wm mouth. I can look at people as individuals but you can not cross the line like that and not think that relationships of any kind between bw and wm will be ok.



Mekare, If I didn't take the time to consider your feelings before, or let's say if I knew you and we were speaking face to face, I'd tell you that you were taking all of this a bit too strongly or that you are taking too much of this 'Mayer-gate' in! LOL But no, you have a right to feel your own feelings. I just don't see how he's even worth it, but then again I am being superficial because I really don't like his looks. He's not horrid but John Mayer is rather plain to me; he's not my heartthrob anyway!

The sad thing is I assume that maybe the reason why you feel scared about the treatment you, I and other BW can face from ANYBODY is because black women themselves cannot stand each other for one reason or another and publicly and loudly show this attitude! So I would understand feeling 'scared and alone' too. Because there's a 'civil war' or 'cold war' kind of feeling going on in our own camp, and when you add the attitude of a lot of BM into the equation, then the whole thing looks like a ridiculous shambles and a misery.

Jews, Asians, Arabs, Latinos etc. show a lot more solidarity most of the time even though amongst them they have their own hierarchies or the case where Latinos or Asians from one country cannot stand the ones from another country. They see the bigger picture and are willing to do better for themselves for some reason that black people cannot grasp. No, blacks still have to polish the old light skin, dark skin and hair grade chestnuts and dabble in man- sharing, etc. Good God just take the case!

ak said...

Neecy:

Where are the White femininsts???? Shouldn't all women be standing against men downing women regardless if its them or not?


Not that I'm excusing any WW who may have ulterior motives for their own gains but the last time NOW and other white feminists stuck up for a black woman who was being degraded, and by a black man at that, was back in the 90s with Anita Hill. I remember seeing white NOW members protesting on Hill's behalf against the sexual harassment from Clarence Thomas.

But because a lot of NOW members may want to appear very liberal and not racist alot of them backed down and out of the fight, after a lot of black men and theirmouthpieces accused white feminists of being racist and trying to tear black men down, the same way black people accused Anita Hill of trying to disgrace a black man high up in a good position.

Blacks said the same thing about Desiree Washington when they tried to blame her for the rape incident with Mike Tyson. I think this adds to why a lot of white feminists today may refuse to get in the middle of too much public 'black business'. I don't even blame them, truly I don't. And black women are willing to put up with this mess especially from black men because they've been so cowardly against them. Another reason why BW like Mekare feel scared now.