Anyway on a recent post, an 'anonymous' commentor claiming to be a black woman, accused Sara of destroying black men and women. 'She' went on to talk about how black men are being left alone to fend for themselves by disloyal black women running off with white men!
Now even though I do doubt that this commentor was a black woman, I must say that I have and do come across black women giving an account that reverses the situation as it stands and those who do position black women as the aggressor or the abandoner of black men/black relationships.
In the face of the clear evidence that it is black men who have abandoned black relationships and refused to uphold the tenets of black love, you have black women making youtube videos saying black women have dropped the ball and etc etc. Now do you think these women are really seeing a situation that is totally different from what we all can easily observe? Do you think that these women do not see the reality confirmed by statistics (for many years now) that black men have been out dating and out marrying twice the rate of black women for it to be that it is black women are abandoning black men and not vice versa?
My response to this is No. These women have 'signed up' to both believe and distort the picture and reverse the actors to serve the agenda they have.
I want to reiterate that black women actually 'sign up' to believe and promote the twisted logic that is evident with a whole lot of what these types of black women spout and believe. It is very deliberate. So if you are a black woman who believes these ideas then know that somehow and somewhere, you 'checked' a box, that you would believe faslehoods and direct opposites of reality to support the
Black women who have PERVICE (persitent views inspite of contrary evidence), do it deliberately but they are also psychologically prepared to recieve these views.
I remember when I used to attend 'strong black women rallies' (out of curiosity), how a mood would be created under which black women would believe anything even when they knew the truth was directly opposite to what they were being told.
Under the spell woven at these rallies and meetings, out and out nonsense and things easily observed as false suddenly started to sound 'sensible' and maybe 'have something to them'. I actually think it is the 'maybe we are not seeing the full picture' spell, that is used effectively to capture black women. Many black women are told that there is another story to what they can visibly observe, and once black women believe that there maybe more than meets the eye, they become duely primed to slot in some 'nonsense' as the missing piece of the story. Now the created mood in these 'conventions' makes statements like 'our brothers need our help and support', become logical and sensible even when it is clearly observable that at this point it is black women that need support. I remember that one of the things that was never done was to challenge patently false accounts, as this would essentially 'break the spell'. I remember once doing this by challenging a particular statement. The women in the room got very angry. To this day, I believe the anger was because I broke the mood necssary for recieving and believing the fantasies they were being told about black men.
I also used to get the one where one of the 'leaders' would try to get me to bend to their will and blind-believe along with everyone else. They try to get a black woman like me who was unwilling to submit/collude with the self deception to bow. One of them said to me, 'You know that when black women get it together, black men will come home'. Now that statement was loaded with all sorts of psychological arm twists and was my 'cue' to give up the rebelion and just like a good black woman, go along with the self deception.
As a black woman you decide to be taken in by such fables, and give your mind over to the deceptions and falsehood! Therefore a black woman has to decide for herself that beliving the truth as evident in what she can observe is more important than agreeing to believe a lie in a bid to serve an agenda!
Get clued up about interracial dating, read Interracial Dating Book
Send your questions to relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com (I will try my best to give a reply/answer)
10 comments:
Hello Ms. Anderson, another excellent blog, I needed this like a flu vaccine shot! I'm know you screen the posts and that's good because I'm not sure I would want this out there anyway. I'm sure you've read about this OkCupid.com survey, your input would be a nice change from the sadness in the replies I've read about it, a genuine hopelessness (that I myself confess succumbing to today). I intend to post about it as well, but I'm pretty sure my take on it would come out in a not-so-eloquent (and possibly rather foul) way... Once again, keep up the great work!
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/
Trace in order not to derail the thread, hit me up an email about your concerns.
i probably need to do some form of general response but not just yet!
Wow that was powerful in its simplicity. The lack of common sense is a choice that's being selected over and over and over. It's why we who are supporters of the reality check will have to leave those women behind.
You know, all of this "Let's blame Black women" talk that I'm seeing on the Black women "Empowerment" blogs is overlooking one thing, one simple, little small thing.
Black women love Black men.
And,
Black women want Black men to love them.
Apparently, this in you guy's minds is the crime, rather than Black men's betrayal of and refusal to love Black women.
Sad. I have to read anti-Black women vitriol even on Black women "Empowerment" blogs now.
'You know that when black women get it together, black men will come home'
That statement in itself is crazy! these women will be working to the bone thinking that these men, will suddenly get themselves together. I'm so glad I got out of the box. If the man isn't remotely doing what he's suppose to do, why bother with him? smh. What a huge burden that is lifted off my shoulders.
Excellent post Halima.The truth is lacking in many of these black women who are preaching that "nothing but a black man" bologney.Thank you so much for your honesty and your time that you spend empowering black women such as myself.You are greatly appreciated.
What I so dislike about the woman who posted that black women have dropped the ball foolishness is she goes on and on telling black women to "get it together".Then she starts talking about money aint everythang and stop being so materialistic etc.So basically she believes black women should be perfect but shouldn't expect much in return for being good wives mothers friends etc.
It amazes me how many black women believe that we should always give work, help,love,uplift, and expect nothing in return.It's really upsetting to know that people have a million expectations of you but will tell you upfront that you should get nothing in return.
It's not called PERVICE, it is called doublethink. Made up by George Orwell in 1948, defined as the acceptance of two contradictory ideas or beliefs at the same time.
truth p: Alot of articles and youtube clips these days seem to be focused on telling Black women about what we need to change.
Where's the commentary telling Black men to:
a)have more ambition
b)stop spreading their seed around and impregnating every chick they date/f*ck
c)behave like gentleman
d)stop thinking that they are entitled to the Beyonce 'dimepiece' types
e)stop being colourist
f)take responsibility for their own lives and stop blaming 'whitey'
g)stop hating on Black women who are more successful than them
h)stop the misogyny
i)step up and compete with other MEN, not the WOMEN of their race
j)stop defining themselves based on the tired penis/sex myths
k)cut the tired nonsense about a woman not allowing them to be men
Black men have sooooo much to work on within themselves, yet black-washed women like 'melosidad1' and her fellow 'coon comrade' only seem to focus on us 'dropping the ball' and not doing right by the 'brothas'.
These 'sistas' need to get a clue!
Hey Halima,
love the post! That was all so true. And you are right about the mind altering mood being cast as well. There are several tricks ppl can use to overcome our reasoning and better judgement. What I don't get is WHY? are these women doing this? Why do they want to lead and keep bw in the bowels of hell when they KNOW they can have much better lives by moving on!!! These men (most) don't give a damn about these women-they just want them for meal tickets and bed warmers, and I just cannot understand how these women could be complicit in helping them use, abuse, and discard these women. Some ppl really don't understand the circle of life. They don't get that what you put out is what you will reap. One day while they're doing this evil work of serving unsuspecting, and gullible women up on a platter to be consumed, by voracious predators-someone will be doing the same thing to a woman they love (like their daughters, sisters, cousins etc) Black women better wake up and realize that friendship and trust cannot be predicated on gender or race, and that they MUST take reponsibility for their OWN lives....
"What I don't get is WHY? are these women doing this? Why do they want to lead and keep bw in the bowels of hell when they KNOW they can have much better lives by moving on!!! These men (most) don't give a damn about these women-they just want them for meal tickets and bed warmers, and I just cannot understand how these women could be complicit in helping them use, abuse, and discard these women."
I have to warn women about these types of women...because they are not happy about their lives, they will make sure YOU are not happy. So be aware of the places you are asked to go...seriously.
This girl I once knew wanted me to visit her, but I declined. Thank God I did! It was written in the paper s few weeks ago that her area is/was called "Terror Town". Apparently people get shot at during the day, night and afternoon...basically All DAMN DAY! So now WHY would I want to go there???? But SHE thought it would be okay for me to visit her...like I say ladies, BE CAREFUL!!!! if you choose to continue to associate and visit those neighborhoods. And check your associates...I no longer speak to that woman...she was/is too toxic for me!
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