The destruction of black community was never a joint enterprise between black men and black women. Black women never had the casting vote in the majority of the destructive practices operating in the black community. Often time they are trying to correct or make the best of a bad situation unwittingly worsening it!
Last week I was reading a newspaper article about a gang of paedophiles that had been smashed by police.
It consisted of four women and one man.
But guess what (if you haven’t guessed already), the four women (all white mind you), where made out to have been ‘controlled’ by this lone man. The word Svengali was used repeatedly in the article to describe the man (and if I may say so has become a commonly used term whenever issues of males and females joint enterprise of abuse comes up, where the women are white of course). It is amazing that this is term is used quite commonly and repeatedly, given that Svengali is actually a fictional character!
Yes it is always spun that the white female in the picture is somehow under some strong mind control of the man even if there was only one man and multiple women as in this instance. I am not even sure if the gang ever met up physically. From what little I read (I was disgusted), these women abused their own children and posted pictures on the internet, under 'remote' control of course of said 'Svengali'.
You best believe that a black woman would never be able to plead mind control, she would be deemed as well and truly in full control of all her senses to do such evil!
Why is the white community invested in the idea of guiltlessness in white females?
I have a theory.
It is in part possibly due to the strong reaction against the notion of the mother (the universal nurturer), the dependable carer of humanity, ever being in possession of malicious and evil impulses. Even if it is clear such is the case, it is better to give a benefit of a doubt to women than discard the model that mothers have their childrens best interest (imagine the social upheavel if this were not assumed to be true). It helps us all sleep well at night for sure. 'Indeed best push all that ability for evil unto the male figure, I mean he can handle it cant he.'
Have you noticed that males are always deemed to be perpetrators of evil until proven otherwise. If you watch any of those crime series; Law and Order, CSI etc etc, the ’perp’ is always identified as a ’he’, if a pronoun is needed in building a story, that is until firm evidence comes that a female is possibly responsible. Also look at how males are interrogated! They are almost always assumed guilty in interrogation rooms and they have to communicate in the necessary ’tone’ to extract themselves.
This leads me to the other part of my theory. There is actually another hidden part of the reason why males in general are deemed to be the morally deficient party in any such situation and even overall in the wider (not black) context. It came to me when I noted how black men respond to the taking any responsibility, or the lead part in any activities towards social improvement, restoration even well doing.
As we know, most black men will refuse any responsibility or blame for any negative that has befallen black people, but also notice the way they frame their responses. They will say something like this, ‘Well what about black women? Black women didn’t do ‘A’ therefore I couldn’t do B‘, or Black women weren’t A so I couldn’t be B, or black women weren’t playing part X so I couldn’t do P’.
They make their part dependent on black women doing some bit. It might not seem obvious at first but this quickly sets up an ‘impasse’ situation (beloved of those who enjoy the status quo or cant be bothered to do anything to address a situation).
In this situation men can hold their communities to a standstill by saying others have to 'move' or 'prove' before them. By introducing a 'negative' status to men and a positive to women as is done in the wider society, men find they are under an obligation to ‘prove’ themselves whether good, resourceful, worthy etc etc. Men therefore 'initiate', they kick things of and forget about looking for women to start up proceedings. They get busy doing and forget about what women are doing or not doing!
This is the principle of the simple cell battery. No current flows if both poles are at the same charge (your batteries grow weaker as the poles charges come to the same level). Males being under a negative charge means they are under an impetus to work and prove, and if you notice real men relish a chance to prove themselves ‘Men’. This is especially true when men realize that the male privilege and status has to be balanced by responsibility. Thus if you are a ‘Man’ and have all the trappings and privileges of manhood attached to you, then it is only sensible and socially responsible for you to have responsibility attached to that privilege.
Think about that for a second. We moan about sexism, but in the wider society males do not just enjoy male privileges. They have responsibilities attached to them, so they must 'get up,' and investigate when something goes 'bump' in the night and women and children must be allowed 'off the titanic' first. Thats what it takes to have the privilege of manhood attached to you. You have to pay for it in all sorts of ways and I can imagine all those men on the titanic wanting that chance to go into the boats with the women and children!
The black community is the only community that has broken the link between male privileged and any sense or form of responsibility be it social, moral, leadership, or otherwise to said community. Instead women do for men and still present men with the same accolades of manhood. No wonder destructive masculinity runs riot in black settings. Indeed masculine privilege without responsibility = destruction!
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Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Why the defaming of the black female image affects you
While we were having our last discussions about black women retiring the idea of being co-creators of the black chaotic sistuation with black men, we had another incident of a rapper Crapper taking a swing at dark skin black women and lets call it what it is, essentially an attack on undiluted and essentially unambiguously black women. I dont want to go into naming the Crapper or get into any other great lengths of detail of something I am sure you all are aware of.
I was noting the reactions especially of black women online.
First of course there was the denials that he said such. People however pointed to lyrics on a couple of his tracks that essentially say the same thing which he is accused of saying. Then there were the 'high self-esteemers', who proclaimed to have such a high self esteem as to be unaffected by the statements of a half wit. I like the spirit but I also recognize the 'I am unaffected' or 'I am not the one he speaks about', response can come from a point of hopelessness and from those who feel 'nothing can be done so best ignore', or a displaced reaction of frustration from those who want this whole thing to disappear and at al cost that they will be happy for the victim to disappear if it will sort out the situation. Indeed they are taking out the whole frustration on a safe target by making it an issue of 'sefl esteem'. Good self esteem doesnt happen in a vacuum. I am amused at how many black people are requesting nay demanding that black women have 'self esteem', and self love as if the so called black community has optimal conditions for this to develope. I guess it is an automatic thing which you just call to yourself from the four winds!
I guess my point is, surely one can admit there is a problem without having to mean their self esteem is shot!
The issue of black women’s general image taking a hit was also raised, and this is tha bit of the discussion that I was very interested in. I see we always keep coming round to the whole, ’black women need to organize round the protection of their image’ question. We seem to come round to it a couple of times each year. I think the last major incident was regarding John Mayer. I know I put up the post about some of the options available to black women. Some where ready to do something (although what that something was, was the issue), others said 'nah' focus on self.
Today I want to raise the issue of being able to admit a bad situation even if you have no answers.
Black women pay a personal cost for the overall negative image of black women, wether you are well positioned or have a high esteem or not. See I can admit that, even if I have no answers to the dilema at present. On an individual level, black women can do so much, and I am also aware that as the message of black women being empowered to be the best spreads, the culmulative effect of more and more black women living succesfully will roll back a great deal of the stigma that is currently attached to the black female image.
However and again I want to reiterate that we all (individually), pay a great price no matter how high our self-esteem and how unconnecetd you are to the toxic black community. I am sure a lot of black women living in part of Italy know what I mean, when I say that an impression created about those like you can severly impact your social movement. I am sure they are aware of this when they are approached by random men who mistaken them for prostitutes even when they have all sorts of social trappings that speak strongly against such a conclussion. If someone came uo with a smart idea to end their daily torment, I am sure so many would be so willing to all pay to lift the shadow that follows them all around.
When a negative impression is created around your demograhy, you have to put in twice as much effort to get anything others simply wave their hands to get, also so many opportunities for life improvement are being denied without you even knowing it, therefore it is important to be able to be invested in the idea of some general push back against the tarnishing of black women's image even if we dont know what it will be or if it can be.
I fear some black women are in a rush to shut down the conversations of a broader solution because they dont see how, but there might be someone out there who knows what to do, who you are not allowing turn their brains over the issue by shooting down any discussion out of your understandable frustration.
Contnd
Wondering about interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
I was noting the reactions especially of black women online.
First of course there was the denials that he said such. People however pointed to lyrics on a couple of his tracks that essentially say the same thing which he is accused of saying. Then there were the 'high self-esteemers', who proclaimed to have such a high self esteem as to be unaffected by the statements of a half wit. I like the spirit but I also recognize the 'I am unaffected' or 'I am not the one he speaks about', response can come from a point of hopelessness and from those who feel 'nothing can be done so best ignore', or a displaced reaction of frustration from those who want this whole thing to disappear and at al cost that they will be happy for the victim to disappear if it will sort out the situation. Indeed they are taking out the whole frustration on a safe target by making it an issue of 'sefl esteem'. Good self esteem doesnt happen in a vacuum. I am amused at how many black people are requesting nay demanding that black women have 'self esteem', and self love as if the so called black community has optimal conditions for this to develope. I guess it is an automatic thing which you just call to yourself from the four winds!
I guess my point is, surely one can admit there is a problem without having to mean their self esteem is shot!
The issue of black women’s general image taking a hit was also raised, and this is tha bit of the discussion that I was very interested in. I see we always keep coming round to the whole, ’black women need to organize round the protection of their image’ question. We seem to come round to it a couple of times each year. I think the last major incident was regarding John Mayer. I know I put up the post about some of the options available to black women. Some where ready to do something (although what that something was, was the issue), others said 'nah' focus on self.
Today I want to raise the issue of being able to admit a bad situation even if you have no answers.
Black women pay a personal cost for the overall negative image of black women, wether you are well positioned or have a high esteem or not. See I can admit that, even if I have no answers to the dilema at present. On an individual level, black women can do so much, and I am also aware that as the message of black women being empowered to be the best spreads, the culmulative effect of more and more black women living succesfully will roll back a great deal of the stigma that is currently attached to the black female image.
However and again I want to reiterate that we all (individually), pay a great price no matter how high our self-esteem and how unconnecetd you are to the toxic black community. I am sure a lot of black women living in part of Italy know what I mean, when I say that an impression created about those like you can severly impact your social movement. I am sure they are aware of this when they are approached by random men who mistaken them for prostitutes even when they have all sorts of social trappings that speak strongly against such a conclussion. If someone came uo with a smart idea to end their daily torment, I am sure so many would be so willing to all pay to lift the shadow that follows them all around.
When a negative impression is created around your demograhy, you have to put in twice as much effort to get anything others simply wave their hands to get, also so many opportunities for life improvement are being denied without you even knowing it, therefore it is important to be able to be invested in the idea of some general push back against the tarnishing of black women's image even if we dont know what it will be or if it can be.
I fear some black women are in a rush to shut down the conversations of a broader solution because they dont see how, but there might be someone out there who knows what to do, who you are not allowing turn their brains over the issue by shooting down any discussion out of your understandable frustration.
Contnd
Wondering about interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Friday, January 07, 2011
Why I never enagage in 'what black women did to make things the way they are' discussions
Do you know why I never ever get involved in the, 'What did black women do to make the situation the way it is in the black community' discussions? I dont because it is an invalid argument built on the premise that black women have equal responsibility for creating the choas and dysfunction that reigns within the black social grouping.
The argument makes black women out to be co-creators with black men. It refuses to recognize the power differential that exists between male and female in a world that privileges male over female, and thus a world which gives males the determining role in how things eventually turn out.
The argument is one which wants to assign to black women equal agency in terms of determining how the situation has panned out for the black social group. Indeed note how when black folks raise these, 'What about how black women did X, Y, Z', you can see they are talking from a position of 'black women were doing it at the same time as black men, with the same social permission and prerogative, at the same level and with the same intent and purpose'! Note that none of them is trying to even look at how that black women in their actions of X, Y, Z, could well be 'responding' to a situation already determined/set up by black men. Indeed flattening time lines and making it all seem simultenous is a key black way of obscuring black male culpability indeed reducing the insight that a 3-D dimensioned discussion of events would cast on the situation.
But take a look at how, when there are general discussions about the situation in our planet, how that there is total comfort with assigning white females a lesser role in shaping the world as we know it and any system of injustice and inequity that exists. Indeed if the truth must be told, white women are rarely if ever indicted as creators of the systems of oppression and injustice. Most analyst are very uncomfortable in positioning white women (who they deem as equally oppressed in patriarchy and capitalist structures), as in anyway 'responsible' for any unjust or unequal set up. Those that are reevaluating the role of white women are more likely to denote them as 'colluders' with white men or 'internalizers' of oppressive ideas and beliefs never 'generators' of these.
But again note that when 'liberals' suddenly want to turn the spotlight on the situation within the black social grouping and if they are able somehow to move away from 'the white male and government is the source and root of all evil', discourse, they suddenly and automatically level the social standing between black women and men to make black women out as co-creators of the bad situation as it stands. See, while they are happy to 'lessen' white female culpability for the shape of things in the wider world, when it comes down to black women who have multiple levels of oppression to contend with, you would think they would know to then deem black women less responsible, but oh no, these same folks are happy to load down black women with equal if not 'more' blame that black men because yes indeed the sentiment that black men are sometimes 'victims' of black women can be noted proceeding from the writings of 'liberal' folks! See why I am fast loosing respect for so called 'liberals'.
And the worst thing is that it is so automatic and such a blind spot that even when you point out, what they are doing and how they switch their principles when it comes round to black women, they deny it and maintain that they are just being fair and consistent. I have been reviewing a number of articles penned by white men in particular over some of the media attention BWE work has garnered over the years and consistently their sympathies are lying with black men!
Once again I will reiterate that there is a power differential existing between black men and women due to males being privileged in our society thus black women cannot and should not be held responsible for the shape of things within the black social setting, indeed once you account for the overarching system's shaping of the black situation, the next folk in line for being responsible for the black situation are black men. Period.
Do black women have a role in the state of affairs particularly their own situation? Sure and indeed the fact that ultimately they end up taking the negative brunt of it all (indeed the impact of OOWetc etc are more on black women), reinforces for me the fact that they are not in the driving seat. What I (and most BWE) realize when looking at the role of black women is that they are often colluding with black men towards their own oppression and 'responding' in ways that aggravate the situation to their own detriment. This has a lot to do with how they are socialized and the doctrines and dogmas within which they are socialized, which causes this maladaptive response. As long as black women continue to be held sway by these black doctrines, they will continue to respond in these maladaptive and maladjusted ways. This is why the thrust of BWE work is to 'retrain' black women in the ways of looking after their own best interest, to train black women in the ways of 'self-interest awareness' and self advocacy and make them become knowlegable about how how third parties are trying to harness their rescources and efforts for their selfish benefit and with no thought of reciprocating!
Wondering about interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
The argument makes black women out to be co-creators with black men. It refuses to recognize the power differential that exists between male and female in a world that privileges male over female, and thus a world which gives males the determining role in how things eventually turn out.
The argument is one which wants to assign to black women equal agency in terms of determining how the situation has panned out for the black social group. Indeed note how when black folks raise these, 'What about how black women did X, Y, Z', you can see they are talking from a position of 'black women were doing it at the same time as black men, with the same social permission and prerogative, at the same level and with the same intent and purpose'! Note that none of them is trying to even look at how that black women in their actions of X, Y, Z, could well be 'responding' to a situation already determined/set up by black men. Indeed flattening time lines and making it all seem simultenous is a key black way of obscuring black male culpability indeed reducing the insight that a 3-D dimensioned discussion of events would cast on the situation.
But take a look at how, when there are general discussions about the situation in our planet, how that there is total comfort with assigning white females a lesser role in shaping the world as we know it and any system of injustice and inequity that exists. Indeed if the truth must be told, white women are rarely if ever indicted as creators of the systems of oppression and injustice. Most analyst are very uncomfortable in positioning white women (who they deem as equally oppressed in patriarchy and capitalist structures), as in anyway 'responsible' for any unjust or unequal set up. Those that are reevaluating the role of white women are more likely to denote them as 'colluders' with white men or 'internalizers' of oppressive ideas and beliefs never 'generators' of these.
But again note that when 'liberals' suddenly want to turn the spotlight on the situation within the black social grouping and if they are able somehow to move away from 'the white male and government is the source and root of all evil', discourse, they suddenly and automatically level the social standing between black women and men to make black women out as co-creators of the bad situation as it stands. See, while they are happy to 'lessen' white female culpability for the shape of things in the wider world, when it comes down to black women who have multiple levels of oppression to contend with, you would think they would know to then deem black women less responsible, but oh no, these same folks are happy to load down black women with equal if not 'more' blame that black men because yes indeed the sentiment that black men are sometimes 'victims' of black women can be noted proceeding from the writings of 'liberal' folks! See why I am fast loosing respect for so called 'liberals'.
And the worst thing is that it is so automatic and such a blind spot that even when you point out, what they are doing and how they switch their principles when it comes round to black women, they deny it and maintain that they are just being fair and consistent. I have been reviewing a number of articles penned by white men in particular over some of the media attention BWE work has garnered over the years and consistently their sympathies are lying with black men!
Once again I will reiterate that there is a power differential existing between black men and women due to males being privileged in our society thus black women cannot and should not be held responsible for the shape of things within the black social setting, indeed once you account for the overarching system's shaping of the black situation, the next folk in line for being responsible for the black situation are black men. Period.
Do black women have a role in the state of affairs particularly their own situation? Sure and indeed the fact that ultimately they end up taking the negative brunt of it all (indeed the impact of OOWetc etc are more on black women), reinforces for me the fact that they are not in the driving seat. What I (and most BWE) realize when looking at the role of black women is that they are often colluding with black men towards their own oppression and 'responding' in ways that aggravate the situation to their own detriment. This has a lot to do with how they are socialized and the doctrines and dogmas within which they are socialized, which causes this maladaptive response. As long as black women continue to be held sway by these black doctrines, they will continue to respond in these maladaptive and maladjusted ways. This is why the thrust of BWE work is to 'retrain' black women in the ways of looking after their own best interest, to train black women in the ways of 'self-interest awareness' and self advocacy and make them become knowlegable about how how third parties are trying to harness their rescources and efforts for their selfish benefit and with no thought of reciprocating!
Wondering about interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
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