Black, Woman and Winning!: April 2014

Don’t let Paucity of imagination rob you of a bright and fulfilled future

Failure of imagination (FOI) stands as the second most critical factor denying many of us a bountiful life. The first is laziness. The reason why I place FOI second is that people who are up and doing and who take risks often stumble into a good thing. However with your imagination you can create a vision for your future and then follow after this step by step till you reach your goal.

Caridad and Matthew Modine

One thing I am coming to an awareness of is that if you are consistent in working hard and not being a lazy procrastinator you don’t have to always been on top gear. Your prior efficiency has a way of filling the gaps for you in the case of some lapses or when you are not 100. You will be pleasantly surprised when you expect to put in much energy only to realize that you are reaping the rewards of past hard work when certain things just come together for you or roll into your hands. Also there are what I call 'kingpin' areas in our lives that enable us achieve results across the board. A slim fit body will help you in your career, in dating and romance and with a boost of confidence in a variety of areas of life and so will an educated mind, that's why you need to identify these 'king pin' areas and attend to them.

FOI is the inability to imagine a better future, which is the first step to creating it. If you accept things as they are; in other words, cant imagine a better situation, there is a good chance that your actions and activities will only help entrench the situation you are in permanently. No matter how many times you fall when moving towards a dream for yourself, you must get up, dust up and try again. It could be dieting, having a spouse, a baby, a new job or house, whatever it is, you must get up and keep at it. That’s what life is about anyway, working towards a better future, its an unending cycle until we are over and out.

It is so easy to see the status quo as unmovable and set when actually it can transform.

A few days ago the issue of black girl woes in campuses was raised once again in a face-book group that I am a member of. We all know the story; black girls are shunned by all the males in the school who look past them to other races of women, even the most polished and most put together black girls. We have been talking about this for years now and each time we think about how the individual black woman needs to go off campus to break from the situation, we have even advised black girls to wait it out saying to them that after university men develop more backbone about what they want in women and become less trend-led.

In a way I agree that men who have developed character and individuality are more likely to be open to black women and indeed form the ideal partners for them and this is a plus (black women's interracial unions tend to be the most enduring), but I became a bit worried about the idea of saying to black girls 'wait' especially as being part of the social loop in university goes beyond simply relationships but is so very vital in making connections and networks that serve black women for their career lives etc. Being shunned on the relationship level by their male peers is in a sense an indicator that they will also be left out of important loops when it comes to profitable social and career networks which will impact severely on their career achievements beyond university.

We need a better solution than advising individual black girls to 'wait' or 'go off campus,' what we need as a new culture to prevail where black girls are naturally included as normal and natural parts of the campus ecosystem. It is the failure of imagination as to how this could be achieved including the function of activists who change perception and foster inclusion. And no this isn’t about black women 'doing all the work' and changing social climates isn’t a new phenomenon, indeed working on integration and diversity is something already being done on campuses including for LGBT students and the situation they often face.

It is however not simple to put directly the case of 'black women should be included in the dating options of males on campus.' There is no surer way to possibly put people off you on in the romantic realm than to make it an issue of obligation, fairness and equality. Romance doesn't work like that. I also don’t believe that black girls are without their own inherent attraction there in the men around them. I believe that factors derived from the overarching racio-misogynic setup is producing a screen and filter to the charm, attractiveness and beauty that is to be found in black women and black women can help the situation out effectively just as they can take a wet sponge to a dirty window and remove the grime to let the sunlight through.

So if we cant address the issue in terms of 'awareness raising' and the likes, black women must act radically and with stealth to upend the current 'invisibiling' status quo they are experiencing. Black girls need to learn to crash parties, create a brand, a buzz, to put themselves on the map. I am at this point too far removed from the university campus life to even begin to make some useful suggestions but I know that with social media and all the technology available to young people today, a change can be made. If we let it slide or put up with it because of our own failure of imagination as the older sisters, it doesn’t mean that young black girls have to resign to their fate. They should take up the mantle and the charge to carve out a new reality for themselves. It would also be much more effective if a group of black girls understood the issue they faced and combined their efforts to changing things.

I am curious to know any thoughts readers have on what can be done.

I will be away from base for a while so next post is 4th May 2014

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