The primary reason why we as BWE are in black women’s corner:
The mark of a real bw champion is their willingness to ‘uncouple’ bw from black community. Yes a willing to ‘decommunity’ bw, is the main sign of a real black woman champion.
Why? you ask...well the reason is clear, ‘community’ is now the main site of oppression of black women, anyone who loves black women would seriously consider the argument of black women being 'unbonded' from it. Its that simple!
If you look at most of the analysis for black women out there (whether they are by womanists, black feminsists etc), it still very much considers black women entities 'the community'. Black women are still enscribed in community and are still analyzed as beings of the black community, community agents, black community bound, their destinies and lives to be traced out only within these confines and terms.
BWE are willing to unyoke black women from ‘community’ if it will save their lives, keep them sane, prevent them from being worked to death, provide a measure of protection, ensure their resources do not become the possession of others, if it will enable them meet their dreams and goals. To BWE the work which bw do or what they are to their community, is not more important than the health and well-being of black women itself!
BWE are willing to ‘loose her and let her go’. Ask yourself, which other justice group even those that claim to be all about bw are willing to go as far as to say, ‘Black woman, you are now more in danger from within so our models and frameworks need to take this into account and to ensure the survival of bw we will be willing to go as far as detach her from our community-bound, and community-based models if necessary'.
True champions of bw put bw first, not behind the use and purpose of black women to their communities. They can imagine bw living a life outside its boundaries. Those unwilling to separate bw from the community role and community locating contribute to her oppression
Another reason why BWE are really in bw cornerWe give black women the information that others (in particular the black community) suppresses in order to keep black women limited in range and tracing out their lives only in the limits of community. Since BWE came into being there has been an explosion of very empowering, important and eye opening information for black women to use towards living well and thriving and getting ahead.
Contd
The question is indeed in need of asking, why hasn’t black feminism brought forth new ways of looking at the black woman’s situation that could be of practical use and benefit to black women NOW in her current situation and with the nature of her current threat. Black women are indeed in a bad way yet all we get is ineffective and outdated theories that do not address the current needs of black women!
From these ‘learned’ women we have nothing but the usual ‘complaining’ about the wider system. There is nothing to address the current nature of black female oppression, the battering of black women’s image and self esteem (this time not by whites but by black men). Maybe this is why they have absolutely nothing to say nor any solution to suggest (because black feminism/womanism was all about facing the outward enemy i.e. the white man and thus has come to the limit of its operation and ability now that the white man is no longer the biggest problem of black women).
So each day the situation gets worse and the black woman is at the point that she rises daily and wonders, ‘who is going to trash my image, today? what next? what is going to be dished at me this time?’
Indeed black men have now established a culture of besmirching black womanhood to all and sundry. Wesley Snipes's statement about black women (which marks the beginning of this defaming of black womanhood culture) would now be deemed 'harmeless' in comparison to the brutal savaging that marks the utterences of the black men who followed and built on his example.
But what have black feminists said about this current manifestation of misogyny directed at black women? I mean its not like we haven’t had numerous examples of it happening for black feminists to know that it isn’t a fluke, a one-off but now a cultural reality. What has been put forward? What theory has been created around which a fight-back could be organized? Nothing.
Instead we are left hanging and besmirching of black womanhood is now so entrenched it is almost an unreported weekly occurrence. So why no response, why no ‘news conference’, I mean aren’t black feminists suppose to respond to the latest threat, the latest targeting of black womanhood from wherever it comes especially in this case where it creates a situation where others feel it is ok to have a go at black women. I mean I thought that they black feminists are suppose to note and to pick up and indeed have something to say about anything that threatens the black woman and her standing in society. I guess not!
Despite the mounting number of cases of black men doing what they are doing you hardly see any analysis presented on what this is or how it needs to be addressed as a threat to black women. Even the most famous black feminist blogs pretend they do not see this increasingly frequent and mainstream phenomenon. They think it is not worth commenting on, I mean it is no biggey I suppose ((sarcasm off)).
If ever they do respond its to position it as an event that requires the response ‘its the actions of an a&sre ehole,’ not that these increasing occurences have strategic and far reaching implications on black womanhood. Not as something that requires rethinking our frameworks and base line assumptions of who is with us and who is against us!
Black women are receiving some of the worse image battering ever and the implications and possible damage is even greater because it was mostly internal (and thus creates an open season condition where others see black women as fair game given that black men do it too).
Black women’s self-esteem is being torn down daily but as for the black feminists, they spend an inordinate amount of time and energy defending and refusing to let go of the assumptions and models of their current feminist framework that have done and continue to do nothing for black women, indeed these analysis and models ‘refuse’ to acknowledge the current reality which is that black men are now the primary threat to black women (and no not in some minor, irritating way) and not because they have ‘internalized’ some stuff, but their actions show deliberateness and a deliberate decision to target black women.
Black feminist models, the ones they prefer, are those that baulk from challenging black men’s activities and those that ‘insist’ on not taking black male threat seriously enough to have something concrete and definite to say.
Yep, to take black men head on, to call the situation for what it is, these feminist would have to ‘seismically’ shift from the current black feminist thought moorings and you know they cant do that. You know how closely they have to align with the current models endorsed by the ‘progressive’ gallery, even if these do absolutely nothing for the black woman’s situation.
Then maybe they are too far into ‘academia’ to really see how the game has changed. Indeed one can become really disconnected from how things really are on the ground and thus the usefulness of their ’suggestions’ when in academia.
BWE are the ones making the difference because we respond to what black women’s current reality is, we do not try to pretend nothing has changed or that there hasn’t been a rearrangement of the chess board and today the little measure of protection that black women might achieved could well come from white people, white places and white structures. I guess this is the intolerable truth to it all.
History will judge those who don’t have the courage and strength to do the right thing harshly!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Mud sticks and BWE are the real Champions of black women make no mistake!
I wrote this blog post a couple of days ago and had a few things to add before publishing, and then the story of 'psychology today's' article broke.
I just have a few sentences to add to what has already been written. I will start by saying 'mud sticks'.
I hear and see people pointing out the so called doctor's crappy methodology and labelling him 'stupid' etc for not even being able to follow simple research methods, and producing a research analysis that even a high schooler would be ashamed to put their name to, but in calling Santoshi a stupid person unworthy of a PHD, maybe we have fallen for his rouse big time.
See I find it hard to believe that a lecturer in London School of Economics doesn’t know how to make a logic argument or follow applicable and acceptable research methodology or didnt know that his approach would be taken apart in all of two seconds. His methods were just so ... substandard that you just have to consider that Santoshi's objective wasnt ever to do sound research and reach sound research conclusions, and wasn’t only about controversy and page clicks but was about dumping something into public domain that black women would forever struggle with.
I can hear people in years to come saying something like, 'wasn’t there a study done some years back that proved that black women were unattractive/had more testosterone/were more masculine?' Read more on this next big urban myth that will circulate for years to come
Before I go into other 'deep' issues I want to write an 'ode' to something fascinating that I have watched happen for the last five years.
A couple of years ago I got into a kind of debate/argument with one of the so called leading womanist activists and one of her 'phd' backers. I believe it was around the time of the dunbar village rape. I remember that that 'womanist' who was purported to be 'working in the trenches' was more worried about the police who would now be patrolling 'our communites' because of what happened and how this wasnt what we wanted indeed, we didnt want them coming for our sons and brothers and husbands!
I remember that when I raised the issue of Justice for the woman she and her PHD backer made the idea seem all wrong and sordid, indeed it was wrong and immoral for us and even the woman to want justice and to seek justice throught the channels provided by society! They started talking about 'mediation' and peacemaking in our communtites, in fact a couple of others who joined the argument started saying that the justice system would even oppress the woman and she wouldnt be 'guaranteed' any justice anyway, so why bother!
Christ in his highest heaven. I think that was the day I realized how useless a good portion of womanism and black feminsism had become to black women and their current reality.
Indeed black feminsist who have forgotten who should be their first concern! Instead they are more worried about ensuring that the only measure of protection that black woman have in this case i.e. the police, are prevented from coming into the situation. I know that Whataboutourdaughters also got flack for using hard language in her outrage at the heinous act perpetrated against the black woman, see because in all this their focus was never black woman. they were even more worried and spent lots of energy warning against the use of 'inflammatory langauage'.
Since black folks and many degreed bw, enjoy proving how educamated they are, their wonderful debating prowess and how many ways they can apply theories (drawn up by others mind you) and spin an impressive argument or take a certain theory to amazing lengths on the strength of their 'intellect', it is not suprising that something that is simple and straight forward as being the advocate for the black woman in the situation (I mean since you identify yourself as a black feminist and all that), suddenly becomes anything but! Indeed I sometimes go online and read a number of blogs by black women who are 'read' and all I can see them doing is trying to prove how 'amazingly' brillant and wonderfully 'au fait' they are with all sorts of progressive theories! Thats all it is about for them, displaying their skillz and their intellect whether black women are lying dead in the street or not. I know the 'academic' feminist was more worried about the langauage used by black women online who were understandably outraged over the whole issue, and how it would stigmatize black people and would encourage racists to start putting their oar in! See because black women have to be all concerened about all those other worries, and have to be careful about their language and use the correct words even as they are beaten into the ground.
I thought long and hard about that incident and it scared me that black women who we are all looking to to develop theories and analysis that would help the black woman plight (a deadly an insidious warfare going on against black women and from which many black women have no protection because they are naive and unaware) are the ones actually advicing black women to submit to more yokes, and chains.
Am I saying all black womanists/feminsist are this way? No but I think we are past the days of the vibrant kind of black feminsism that gave us intersectionality. The bulk of what is being produced online by many who declare themselves black feminsist/womanists is not inspiring, is chasing shadows and is even down right scary in that it encourages black women to remain in loosing situations and losing dynamics!
To these woman bw are simply a hammer, a tool to weild against any oppressive system, bridge builders, gap closers, healing bringers for their community. Essentially thats the use and purpose of black women and what they personally need out if the situation...well who cares.
To be contd
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
I just have a few sentences to add to what has already been written. I will start by saying 'mud sticks'.
I hear and see people pointing out the so called doctor's crappy methodology and labelling him 'stupid' etc for not even being able to follow simple research methods, and producing a research analysis that even a high schooler would be ashamed to put their name to, but in calling Santoshi a stupid person unworthy of a PHD, maybe we have fallen for his rouse big time.
See I find it hard to believe that a lecturer in London School of Economics doesn’t know how to make a logic argument or follow applicable and acceptable research methodology or didnt know that his approach would be taken apart in all of two seconds. His methods were just so ... substandard that you just have to consider that Santoshi's objective wasnt ever to do sound research and reach sound research conclusions, and wasn’t only about controversy and page clicks but was about dumping something into public domain that black women would forever struggle with.
I can hear people in years to come saying something like, 'wasn’t there a study done some years back that proved that black women were unattractive/had more testosterone/were more masculine?' Read more on this next big urban myth that will circulate for years to come
Before I go into other 'deep' issues I want to write an 'ode' to something fascinating that I have watched happen for the last five years.
Very close to where I live, there is a nest of swans. Each year for the past five years I have watched the same couple come to the same place, to lay half a dozen or more eggs and over three months hatch them and take their little cygnets off down the river till they are strong and self sustaining. It has been awesome watching the little ones taken for their first swim and then watch their grey downy feather turn white, over the months as they follow their parents. It is a sight that has delighted me for these many years in fact as soon as it is spring I wait expectantly for their arrival. Sometime in early March I heard a perculiar 'bark' and I just new inside that they had come back to nest and yes indeed the next day they were there preparing the nest and soon they had laid five blue grey eggs and we are expecting hatchlings any day now.
I dont know how long I will be blessed with this marvelous display of commitment, something some human's cant even muster-who indeed knows how long they will continue to be fertile or their lifespan- but I love watching them take turns sitting on the eggs and love watching the male 'case' the area for danger and ward off dogs that sometimes wonder near! Two years ago I thought to write something but didnt get round to it, so this year I want to say, 'respect, respect' to the inspiring 'couple.'
Activists in the BWE Family are the real champions of black women
BWE blogs and blogs in the family of BWE are the only ones who really have a focus on championing and defending black women.A couple of years ago I got into a kind of debate/argument with one of the so called leading womanist activists and one of her 'phd' backers. I believe it was around the time of the dunbar village rape. I remember that that 'womanist' who was purported to be 'working in the trenches' was more worried about the police who would now be patrolling 'our communites' because of what happened and how this wasnt what we wanted indeed, we didnt want them coming for our sons and brothers and husbands!
I remember that when I raised the issue of Justice for the woman she and her PHD backer made the idea seem all wrong and sordid, indeed it was wrong and immoral for us and even the woman to want justice and to seek justice throught the channels provided by society! They started talking about 'mediation' and peacemaking in our communtites, in fact a couple of others who joined the argument started saying that the justice system would even oppress the woman and she wouldnt be 'guaranteed' any justice anyway, so why bother!
Christ in his highest heaven. I think that was the day I realized how useless a good portion of womanism and black feminsism had become to black women and their current reality.
Indeed black feminsist who have forgotten who should be their first concern! Instead they are more worried about ensuring that the only measure of protection that black woman have in this case i.e. the police, are prevented from coming into the situation. I know that Whataboutourdaughters also got flack for using hard language in her outrage at the heinous act perpetrated against the black woman, see because in all this their focus was never black woman. they were even more worried and spent lots of energy warning against the use of 'inflammatory langauage'.
Since black folks and many degreed bw, enjoy proving how educamated they are, their wonderful debating prowess and how many ways they can apply theories (drawn up by others mind you) and spin an impressive argument or take a certain theory to amazing lengths on the strength of their 'intellect', it is not suprising that something that is simple and straight forward as being the advocate for the black woman in the situation (I mean since you identify yourself as a black feminist and all that), suddenly becomes anything but! Indeed I sometimes go online and read a number of blogs by black women who are 'read' and all I can see them doing is trying to prove how 'amazingly' brillant and wonderfully 'au fait' they are with all sorts of progressive theories! Thats all it is about for them, displaying their skillz and their intellect whether black women are lying dead in the street or not. I know the 'academic' feminist was more worried about the langauage used by black women online who were understandably outraged over the whole issue, and how it would stigmatize black people and would encourage racists to start putting their oar in! See because black women have to be all concerened about all those other worries, and have to be careful about their language and use the correct words even as they are beaten into the ground.
I thought long and hard about that incident and it scared me that black women who we are all looking to to develop theories and analysis that would help the black woman plight (a deadly an insidious warfare going on against black women and from which many black women have no protection because they are naive and unaware) are the ones actually advicing black women to submit to more yokes, and chains.
Am I saying all black womanists/feminsist are this way? No but I think we are past the days of the vibrant kind of black feminsism that gave us intersectionality. The bulk of what is being produced online by many who declare themselves black feminsist/womanists is not inspiring, is chasing shadows and is even down right scary in that it encourages black women to remain in loosing situations and losing dynamics!
To be contd
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Friday, May 06, 2011
What are your plans for improving your fortunes?
I once told a freind of mine that black women are the hardest folk to sell to particularly innovative products that make you effective in what you already do. This is because black women often do not have a plan to 'get ahead' of the pack. Note I said 'get ahead of the pack'. See there is the general, 'progressing in life', and there is the 'getting ahead of the pack'. Many black women do the former but have no clue re the later in fact many feel doing the later is somehow 'wrong'. Yep I was talking to a another freind about how someone plotted their course strategically to get what they wanted and she wrinkled her nose and said eww, as if the woman had done something immoral! lol. I reflected on how it is that this freind is 'where she is' in life.
Improving your fortunes beyond getting what is coming towards you 'naturally' even logically seems to be looked upon as an 'evil art' among bw. Other women however have aggressive plans to put themselves in front or on the map or out ahead. And so while black women wrinkle their noses as they zoom past, these women live the life.
You have to honestly get past the notion that strategically planning and plotting your success course to be ahead of your peers is wrong or evil. I live in a seriosuly class based society here and one of the ways that the class system is kept alive is by imparting a sense of 'wrongness' to the idea of striving and wanting to better oneself and be rich etc. There are all sorts of names used to describe the upper classes like 'toffs' etc, to confer the notion that nobody would want to be 'liek them'. But note that the 'toffs' are living better, healtheir and longer lives. Note that the upper classes already have the structure and norms, money and family arrangements and networks that make 'getting ahead', natural and normal. The working class doesnt and so anyone from the working class who wants to make it needs to be 'purposeful' in their actions and activities towards getting to the top, and it is this purpose that others are trying to stamp down by making it seem immoral to want to be rich etc! Replace I want to be rich with 'I want to live well, live healthier by having access to private health care, personal training, i want to buy my mother a house or give her that hip replacement operation she needs etc' and you might just shake loose that inculcated, 'slimy feeling' to the idea of wealth and riches that is really keeping you from the path to wealth.
Beacuse other women have agressive (and I dont mean they fight but they are dilligent), self elevation plans, they often inspire inventions and innovations to products. They in turn see a product and immediately know how they can 'plug it into' their current plans to give them the acceleration they need in any area.
Weightloss, body toning, dress, style, hair products etc, I am not so sure that black women are often left behind when it comes to innovation, because of racism and lack of numbers. I think as a group it is noted that we often do not respond appropraitely to innovation because, 'what we need that for anyway'. We are not looking to overtake and move out in front so we dont know what to do with some of these 'inventions'. Indeed it is only those who are working some plan that see the reason why they should have a stronger rope, stronger ship, car or what have you.
Many black women have internalized the idea that 'we are to be at the back', not in so many words but as an inchoate notion, like a slight beat they march their lives to (this is one reason why I tell black women to fully think through some of the feelings they respond ardently to because often the fully crystallized idea is one of black women's inferiority but many of us dont acertain this because we are happy to subcribe to 'unsquared' logic, feelings, impressions than really understand the full idea being presented).
I know that many others are involved in pushing black women back in line when they do poke up their heads and want to aim for the front of the queue. From infancy, they find a way to 'quell' any inherent striving for the 'front' that a young black girl may be displaying by making this desire out to be bad even inordinate for a black woman. They may even laugh or mock her or magnify a little set back so she doesnt try again. I have seen even black women who sense that a young black girl is 'reving' her engines come up to her and 'tuck' her back into the ranks. I have seen black women respond to me in this way and 'act out' when I refuse to step back into the black woman's 'formation'.
The saddest thing is that sometimes it is not malicious, this is just bw 'knowing their place.' People even black women have a 'place' they think black women should occupy and black women come along and enforce it and reinforce it in any advice, suggestion, even allocation they give to you as a black woman.
You must recognize that the signifcant portion of black women are acting like robots in terms of their place and position in society and you must understand that unlike them, you have a plan to get to the front, and so you must wisely manouver and trick them till you are there or else they will thwart your plans!
Yes this is not the pretty nice PC talk that refuses to even mention the ugly side of sisterhood. Remeber many are just autopilots in these issues and would even be offended if you pointed out that you are seeing a pattern in how they are reacting to you the black woman and how they are positioning you for less and lack. They would jump up all indignant, and their white liberal freinds would even add their 'how could you accuse them of such a dreadful thing' comments. But you know and you see, therefore dont say much, just put a mental distance if not physical distance between you and them. As Jesus said, 'They know not what they do!'
The unexamined is the enemy of black woman because naturally we are allocated for 'less', therefore anything people just do without thought, any ideas that they think sounds sensible for you, is likely to be aligning itself eith the general notions that permeate society about how black women are due less etc.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding (proverbs 23:23)
I am of the firm belief that this scripture was written especially for black women. Black wonen are surrounded by wrong advice and wrong advsers deliberate and otherwise. They are swimming in a sea of it, mothers, fathers, pastors, counsellors, yes even those who are suppose to be giving the right advice when it comes to black women, something 'kicks in' and the advice changes to one which is meant to secure black women in lack and limitation. There seems to be an inherent need inbuilt into society and all societal agents to steer black women 'wrong'. The fear that black women might just pull away from their subservient role in society and kick off folks riding on her back, is real and deep.
I expect any serious black woman to spend a significant portion of rescources on getting the right advice. i would even go as far as to suggest that black women avoid black information portals (those that position themselves to be speaking from the black perspective not like BWE who are challenging anything up to 90% of what passes for black 'wisdom' ). These black portals want to keep their class of slaving black women and any and everything they say to you will aim to keep you locked in this position.
The black woman serious about her future needs to be a researcher, a woman who never plays with wisdom but would rather skip two meals in a row to buy wisdom! When I see black women quibble over $200 for a book or service that she needs, I know they are not ready for victory. When you need something, you make sacrifices, work the extra hours, etc to get the information that will take you to the next level. You are not going to get to the next level in life holding tightly to money when you need to use it as a tool to get to your future. Invest in your mind, in information, counsellors, trainers, gurus, innovative products and solutions...I dont care if it costs you $1,000! Someone out there has the innovative solution to solve that issue blighting your life. Yes do your research well, but I would happily spend $50 on a product that didnt work on my way to a product that does! Whats 50 bucks to you moving to the next level in life.
And to that commentor that said that $200 match maker service is expensive, way to miss the point. I wonder whether you have made any progress in your search while holding tight to your money. Indeed thats the point, many of you who have a death grip on money are not doing anything towards reaching their goals in other ways!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Improving your fortunes beyond getting what is coming towards you 'naturally' even logically seems to be looked upon as an 'evil art' among bw. Other women however have aggressive plans to put themselves in front or on the map or out ahead. And so while black women wrinkle their noses as they zoom past, these women live the life.
You have to honestly get past the notion that strategically planning and plotting your success course to be ahead of your peers is wrong or evil. I live in a seriosuly class based society here and one of the ways that the class system is kept alive is by imparting a sense of 'wrongness' to the idea of striving and wanting to better oneself and be rich etc. There are all sorts of names used to describe the upper classes like 'toffs' etc, to confer the notion that nobody would want to be 'liek them'. But note that the 'toffs' are living better, healtheir and longer lives. Note that the upper classes already have the structure and norms, money and family arrangements and networks that make 'getting ahead', natural and normal. The working class doesnt and so anyone from the working class who wants to make it needs to be 'purposeful' in their actions and activities towards getting to the top, and it is this purpose that others are trying to stamp down by making it seem immoral to want to be rich etc! Replace I want to be rich with 'I want to live well, live healthier by having access to private health care, personal training, i want to buy my mother a house or give her that hip replacement operation she needs etc' and you might just shake loose that inculcated, 'slimy feeling' to the idea of wealth and riches that is really keeping you from the path to wealth.
Beacuse other women have agressive (and I dont mean they fight but they are dilligent), self elevation plans, they often inspire inventions and innovations to products. They in turn see a product and immediately know how they can 'plug it into' their current plans to give them the acceleration they need in any area.
Weightloss, body toning, dress, style, hair products etc, I am not so sure that black women are often left behind when it comes to innovation, because of racism and lack of numbers. I think as a group it is noted that we often do not respond appropraitely to innovation because, 'what we need that for anyway'. We are not looking to overtake and move out in front so we dont know what to do with some of these 'inventions'. Indeed it is only those who are working some plan that see the reason why they should have a stronger rope, stronger ship, car or what have you.
Many black women have internalized the idea that 'we are to be at the back', not in so many words but as an inchoate notion, like a slight beat they march their lives to (this is one reason why I tell black women to fully think through some of the feelings they respond ardently to because often the fully crystallized idea is one of black women's inferiority but many of us dont acertain this because we are happy to subcribe to 'unsquared' logic, feelings, impressions than really understand the full idea being presented).
I know that many others are involved in pushing black women back in line when they do poke up their heads and want to aim for the front of the queue. From infancy, they find a way to 'quell' any inherent striving for the 'front' that a young black girl may be displaying by making this desire out to be bad even inordinate for a black woman. They may even laugh or mock her or magnify a little set back so she doesnt try again. I have seen even black women who sense that a young black girl is 'reving' her engines come up to her and 'tuck' her back into the ranks. I have seen black women respond to me in this way and 'act out' when I refuse to step back into the black woman's 'formation'.
The saddest thing is that sometimes it is not malicious, this is just bw 'knowing their place.' People even black women have a 'place' they think black women should occupy and black women come along and enforce it and reinforce it in any advice, suggestion, even allocation they give to you as a black woman.
You must recognize that the signifcant portion of black women are acting like robots in terms of their place and position in society and you must understand that unlike them, you have a plan to get to the front, and so you must wisely manouver and trick them till you are there or else they will thwart your plans!
Yes this is not the pretty nice PC talk that refuses to even mention the ugly side of sisterhood. Remeber many are just autopilots in these issues and would even be offended if you pointed out that you are seeing a pattern in how they are reacting to you the black woman and how they are positioning you for less and lack. They would jump up all indignant, and their white liberal freinds would even add their 'how could you accuse them of such a dreadful thing' comments. But you know and you see, therefore dont say much, just put a mental distance if not physical distance between you and them. As Jesus said, 'They know not what they do!'
The unexamined is the enemy of black woman because naturally we are allocated for 'less', therefore anything people just do without thought, any ideas that they think sounds sensible for you, is likely to be aligning itself eith the general notions that permeate society about how black women are due less etc.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding (proverbs 23:23)
I am of the firm belief that this scripture was written especially for black women. Black wonen are surrounded by wrong advice and wrong advsers deliberate and otherwise. They are swimming in a sea of it, mothers, fathers, pastors, counsellors, yes even those who are suppose to be giving the right advice when it comes to black women, something 'kicks in' and the advice changes to one which is meant to secure black women in lack and limitation. There seems to be an inherent need inbuilt into society and all societal agents to steer black women 'wrong'. The fear that black women might just pull away from their subservient role in society and kick off folks riding on her back, is real and deep.
I expect any serious black woman to spend a significant portion of rescources on getting the right advice. i would even go as far as to suggest that black women avoid black information portals (those that position themselves to be speaking from the black perspective not like BWE who are challenging anything up to 90% of what passes for black 'wisdom' ). These black portals want to keep their class of slaving black women and any and everything they say to you will aim to keep you locked in this position.
The black woman serious about her future needs to be a researcher, a woman who never plays with wisdom but would rather skip two meals in a row to buy wisdom! When I see black women quibble over $200 for a book or service that she needs, I know they are not ready for victory. When you need something, you make sacrifices, work the extra hours, etc to get the information that will take you to the next level. You are not going to get to the next level in life holding tightly to money when you need to use it as a tool to get to your future. Invest in your mind, in information, counsellors, trainers, gurus, innovative products and solutions...I dont care if it costs you $1,000! Someone out there has the innovative solution to solve that issue blighting your life. Yes do your research well, but I would happily spend $50 on a product that didnt work on my way to a product that does! Whats 50 bucks to you moving to the next level in life.
And to that commentor that said that $200 match maker service is expensive, way to miss the point. I wonder whether you have made any progress in your search while holding tight to your money. Indeed thats the point, many of you who have a death grip on money are not doing anything towards reaching their goals in other ways!
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