Lets just face it, with black folks, you are dealing with people who don’t want to elevate their thinking, their discourse, and this is so that they can remain at a place where all sorts of evil, strange outdated thinking etc remain plausible and allowed/excused.
We see it clearly in the recent rape case of an 11 yr old. I was on a website recently where a good segment of the black folks were arguing ‘she didn’t report the incident so it wasn’t rape’. To say that I was alarmed was an understatement (these were both male and female mind you).
You can almost see that these folks ’thinking’ had docked somewhere in the 1950’s, an age were the social norms on rape suited them just fine. Imagine living or working around such folks who refuse to come into progressive thinking, imagine what kinds of danger these ones pose to you in so many areas where their thinking is backwards.
Indeed, even when folks tried explaining, that ‘an 11 year old cannot consent to sexual activity‘, these same folks didn’t ‘come up to speed’, instead they continued to try to anchor themselves in their preferred state of mind over this issue, so they came up with arguments like, ’she did X and Y so she wanted it etc etc’, ‘where was the mother‘ (as if lack of parental supervision means black men have a right to ‘go for it‘).
The concept of ‘a minor cannot consent’ just couldn’t ‘stick’ as if it was some ‘rocket science‘ concept being explained to them.
And you know it was all too clear it was ’deliberate,’ this inability to process simple concepts that the rest of society is able to comprehend no problem.
The other scary thing here, was that the notion that children should be protected not seen as prey even when they do ’childish’ things (which is what children do) or escape parental supervision etc etc was so alien to the folks arguing about the guilt of an 11 year old that it was just so unbelievable! In my mind and as I have written, this was another clear sign that the black group is on its way out; the fact that there is no ’protectiveness’ towards the young particularly young black girls who carry the next generation. Even animals protect their young by instinct because how else would they continue to exist but even this most fundamental understanding escapes a good portion of black folk.
Reprobate minds.
You could imagine were the world would be in its ‘thinking’ if the notions circulating within black communities were to be the ideas governing general society. Lord have merci!
Do you see how behind many black people insist on being in their thinking, so they can continue to operate in ‘era’ where certain actions, lack of accountability were permitted them. Indeed, the world has moved on from ‘she asked for it’, we now have the concept of ‘grooming’, a concept that many black males and people insist on not recognizing so they can continue their evil predilections towards minors and claim ‘she asked for it’.
This is why I urge black women to flee black gatherings especially those the propose to ‘discuss’ black issues. There is a peculiar ’reasoning’ that circulates among black folks, which is seen as rational among them, but ‘mainstream’ looks at black folks and they think WTF!
This is why if I need to be among black folks, I have my mental ‘tin foil hat’ because I just know I am going to come across some deep mind bending nonsense that black folks will just start co-signing and agreeing with, and I will think I am in some parallel planet! The longer you stay in such environments among such warped reasoning the more trained in its practice you become, very soon your thinking patterns begin to bend into those ways of thinking until your emotions will begin to ‘accept’ as plausible all sorts of back to front notions that are endorsed by black people. This is one reason why bw have trouble even thinking in a straight forward way about their life and issues and how they can get the best out of life. They have spent far too long with ‘warped thinking’ environments that they have become ‘trained’ in the protocols and how to think in convoluted fashions in fact they become warped thinkers per excellence.
Escape to mainstream circles because much more rationality prevails in those spaces.
One of the negative things that happened when black people closed ranks to offer protection to themselves was that they created an outer shield/barrier to modernising forces that have over time arisen to operate in wider society. So when wider society ’moved on’ towards more progressive ideals and ideas, black spaces remain in older thinking regimes; thinking that allows black men free reign over their environments all justified under the notion of ’preserving’ black.
No wonder when I read black newspapers my mentality takes a dive but reading even mainstream right leaning papers, and my brain activity picks up because aside from the ‘right leaning’ which can be identified and filtered, they still have a duty to a level of commonsense and sensibleness that I find very few black papers and opinion columns feel they need to have ‘because it is a black thing‘.
Coming into 'modern' and 'forward' thinking means moving beyond animal instincts and animalistic lusts, it means being accountable, it means moving beyond yourself to care about fellow humans and it means ‘carrying your own weight,‘ and that’s what many black males are resisting when they insist they don’t understand about things like ‘minors cannot consent to sexual relations’ or ‘you have a responsibility for birth control as much as the woman‘ etc etc.
I remember a radio discussion the other day by one of the BWE bloggers, and do you know for the one and half hour program, each black man that came on was on a level of ‘Yo wassup' 'You say black man this and that.’ They pitched so low you could have been on another topic entirely. They refused to come up to the level of the discourse at all, and it is all deliberate as I say, because not coming up means preventing the discussion from building up to a meaningful discussion that can usher change 'So yes lets keep it a joke or a level of 5 year olds.' Ever wondered why comedians are the first choice when black people bring a panel together to discuss important and critical topics especially about the situation of bw? Well its not to inject humour its to keep things at a non serious level, to use joked and humour to keep it at a 'non transformatory' pitch, the intent is 'lets just chat and do like we are having serious actionable discussions but we expect you to go back to your posts after this light interlude'.
Listen to any blog talk etc and it is almost standard that bm come in at such a low level, that you can feel and hear people lowering their own thinking just to accommodate for it, and by so doing, the conversation remains at a 'non ignition' level and doesn’t soar to the heights it needs and really touch on the key points and be mind-changing and galvanizing as it should. I have also noticed that because bm come in at such a low pitch, any black man who mkes even 'half sense' gets a lot of ‘stars’ from the women. I mean he can pith low too but just a bit higher than the rest and bw are almost all dancing in the streets for the sense in a brothers words, I mean since sense in bm is rare and all that.
Selfish focus and exclusion from world decisions
There is a reason why the world's most important decisions are not in the hands of black contries, why we are not participating in global discussions around preserving humanity and preserving resources for the next generation (Obama as a black figure head does not count). When a people are so focused on their own ‘bellies‘, when people are seen to be so myopic and short term thinkers who refuse to think even one generation up, and would consume the worlds recourses in one season if left to them, then of course they will be deemed too dangerous to be allowed anywhere near major world decisions.
They are seen as nothing but infants to be chaperoned and controlled least they destroy important things. They are children who are relegated to the sidelines in such important world issues. When western folks are talking about green issues, saving planets and African countries leaders cannot think even beyond buying their latest Jets to ferry their bevy of girlfriends around.
I was at a maternal death conference the other day and there was this global 'map' on maternal deaths as well as who was giving what, and just as expected the places with highest maternal deaths gave the least amount (proportionally) to programs designed to prevent the occurence of maternal deaths in their own countries!
As can well be guessed, most maternal deaths were in third world countries, yet places like Norway which has very low maternal deaths were giving huge amounts to these intiatitives and pledging other support and lobbying world governments!
I realized then why all the intitiatives would be unsuccessful in addressing maternal deaths in these countries and we would still be in the same place, in twenty years tim, talking about the next 'strategy'; it is because the folk who should care more, because they are being disasterously impcated are not even prioritizing solving the situation. They are the ones loosing their young populations through maternal deaths yet others were coming in to tell them why it is important to do something about it!
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20 comments:
Excellent post.
As the saying goes,"with knowledge comes responsibility."
If you are hell bent on shirking responisiblity then you have no desire to actually KNOW something...becasue you may actually be asked to DO SOMETHING!
The large majority of Black people revel in ignorance. They wear it like it's some type of badge of honor. And they are ready to curse you out and tear you down if you even dare to utter something that is remotely challenging to their warped way of thinking. Intellectual pursuits are NOT encourgaed amongst the masses of black people and if you enjoy a good debate and intellectual conversation then you are deemed as "acting White", as if white people are the only people allowed to or capable of engaging in deeper thought? Yet, if you listen to these morons, that is what they will accuse you of...acting white because you wish to engage your brain in things a bit more challenging than how much money Jay-Z is making from his last(c)rap song. SMH.
I don't engage in discussions with most black people and those that I do engage with think like me and share my values. The world will move forward and leave the masses of black people and indeed most backward thinking people to their own demise.
Wow Halima. Thank you for highlighting the problems of the GLOBAL black community. African leaders are NOT concerned about the collective welfare of their own people, particularly women or children. Most of them allow the Western world to rape their land of precious resources and place them in even more debt so THEIR families can bathe in European luxuries and frivolities.
I keep saying-this sickness is NOT just in America. It happens with African, Carribean, and other black men around the world. It is the same reason why I decided I will never go back to live in Nigeria to protect myself as a WOMAN. There is no 911, no organized police force, nothing in place for the safety of WOMEN unless you "happen" to be married to a rich man, in which case HE will most likely put you in danger of HIV/STDS since cheating is so acceptable in those cultures. Either way, women as a whole in black and other 3rd world countries are SCREWED.
A large part of the reason why Western countries are thinking about foreign aid and environmentalism is because they can obviously afford to. They own the majority of the world's wealth, and are perfectly capable of giving back to the less fortunate. My gripe is that blacks in the 3rd world are in a system that values success by Euro standards. There is no culture that values SUSTAINABILITY and other building blocks of a stable society (which takes much longer to reap benefits) because everyone is concerned with SHORT TERM thinking and getting fast money for either survival or instant gratification. This mentality in particular is strikingly widespread across blacks in the global village.
YOU ARE SOOOO RIGHT about the 'black this & black that' scenario being OBSOLETE...the reason that it is.....black people do NOT have a strong 'second language' like other minorities...and integration makes it possible to mingle..we ALL UNDERSTAND ENGLISH..unlike latinos and asians..(often I look in the magazines to find out what's going on in the exclusive black community) and not being surprised that we are only 27% LEGITMATE!! (73% OOW births)---sigh----
and another thing: other ethnicies are SEEING THE FOOLISHNESS that the exclusive black community does and thinks twice about blacks--unless the black person approaches first, and appears friendly
Excellent post!When I read this everything you said clicked in my mind.I started seeing similar instances of nonsensical comedians participating in life and death conversations about the state of black women and the non existent black community.I never looked at it in terms of these people are intentionally and strategically put on these panels to keep progress at a stand still.
I did notice how a black man with just little common sense is praised for contributing to conversations, about the state of black women or the non existent black community, what any person who has absolutely no stock in the black community can and/or has contributed just because they have eyes and can see what's going on and choose to speak on it.
They normally don't have anything groundbreaking to add to the conversations, and most importantly they, like other people who have no stock in the black community ,can see the problems but they never offer any real actionable/doable solutions.I don't need people to tell me what's going on. I can see that for my self.We need solutions.
The so called professional intelligent and important black people on those panels are stupid to sit up there with comedians discussing such serious matters.
The few times that these men,and women,actually do come up with some solutions the solutions are recycled old models that got us to the point we are now.They'll talk about how white people need to give us,or black men, a job or some other kind of handout(this despite the fact that white people can't seem to hire themselves these days).Or they bring up all kinds of other previously failed solutions into the equation.Or solutions that would guarantee that the majority of black women would stay exactly where they are now.They say don't shoot the messenger but given the deadly misinformation that black women receive everyday black women may want to consider shooting down the messenger before they get shot.
Let the comedians and rappers know early that when it comes to us and our lives that their opinions are not valued and that THEY are a non m%therf***ing factor.
Sorry,I had to be blunt
Truth P.
Epic post! I have come to the conclusion that the average African-American person is an extremely insular being to their own detriment. I almost feel as though African-Americans desire to remain in their time warp because if they should move into the present dimension they would not know how to proceed.
The biggest issue I find is that many have given value to worthless things and have depreciated the value of things of worth. The unfortunate ones are the children who are borne to these parents who nine times out of ten will continue the tradition of dysfunction.
A cousin of mine was relaying a story of hearing two guys speaking loudly as one was asking where the other had been, he had not seen him in a while. The man told him quite loudly he had been in prison as if it was a badge of honour. My cousin was shocked because in our culture a person who has been imprisoned is considered the lowest of the low and she could not understand why anybody would proudly proclaim to the world they had been in prison.
I wish the the best for all African-American ppl I hope that all will evolve into the true beings of light that the are and put away with worthless things.
Sad post.
I rarely talk to black people these days. Probably in the past decade there have been 4-5 I could speak with. FOUR or FIVE in TEN YEARS. Unfortunately one started running from me after I married so I quit trying to be around her. One I still have contact with. The other three are my two cousins and cousin-in-love.
I gave up long ago being around most blacks because I got tired of the excuse making AND then expecting me and others like me to get them out of their troubles. Did not happen when I was single and I know will NOT happen now that I am married. I have too much to do enjoying my husband and pressing forward in life. They can wallow in their cesspools all they want to. It is a rare one that has not had people try to talk to them or help them out but had their hands bitten time and time again. NOT ME. This is being done with eyes wide open in most cases. What a shame.
Yeah, I've noticed how most black folks across the globe seemed to be content with their ignorance. Nana, I 100% cosign with your comment. When BWE bloggers started describing many of the destructive patterns in AA culture, I began to see the similarities between DBR AA males and DBR Nigerian and other African males. I don't know why this mentality is so pervasive across different black ethnic groups even when said ethnic groups have vastly different cultural practices.
Pamela, I too find that I no longer have much in common with the majority of black folks anymore. I can still have lighthearted, friendly, superficial conversations with my black friends and acquaintances, but I can't have the same conversations that I have online with them because they won't agree and they won't be able to follow the conversation.
I can tell by their actions where their heads are at. If you love Nicki Minaj and the rest of the Young Money crew and find it strange why I don't care for them, then I know we aren't going to see eye-to-eye on some issues. If you encourage me to date some boy who you know is questionable, then I know I can't trust your advice because you don't have my interests at heart. If you call me an oreo on the sly, then we definitely can't be BFFs because I don't like folks who give veiled insults.
Black folks are going to catch a clue, once it's too late to do anything and when they can no longer ignore the disastrous effects of their behavior. That time is soon coming. Right now, things are bad (i.e. 70% OOW birth rate, high unemployment, low marriage rates, high divorce rates, etc.), but black folks can still fool themselves that everything is okay because they can get by. However, the social programs/safety nets that allow black folks to continue their self-destructive behavior will soon disappear. When that happens, the vast majority of black folks are going to be cold, hungry, and homeless.
This is why if I need to be among black folks, I have my mental ‘tin foil hat’ because I just know I am going to come across some deep mind bending nonsense . . . .
OMG! Halima. LOL!!! @ "tin foil hat". This is EXACTLY how I feel whenever I'm around any overwhelmingly majority AA group for more than a few minutes. I literally have to brace myself beforehand.
The longer you stay in such environments among such warped reasoning the more trained in its practice you become,
So true because the mind does not tolerate cognitive dissonance.
Dumbness is VALUED among AAs because they're suicidal & genocidal and if you're not a black person who is not dumb and/or refuse to wear a dunce cap, other AAs will often become suspicious of you or verbally pounce. So when I'm around AAs for more than a few minutes, I usually talk 'dumbish' or else I'm silent (moreso the latter). I've gotten tired of being the only one pushing back.
What made me decide not to return to the black church I was attending was the bm minister saying from the pulpit in January that even though he went to college for a year, "I just don't understand electricity, and I don't believe that ANYBODY can really understand electricity." He was SERIOUS, just like those black folks who keep saying that it's a lie that anyone has gone to the moon.
Anyway, most of the adults in the pews that Sunday fell out laughing at how dumb the minister (their leader and many there do consider him their LEADER) is. I felt so sorry for the black children there because I know that many of them will emulate his dumbness. They too will believe that it's beyond them to understand electricity, let alone chemistry, physics, advanced math, etc.
Another time, he said that lots of black people are chronically late because it's in our DNA to be late and that no one should even expect us to be on time because we just can't help it!!! He was serious!
Not saying ALL black ministers are like this, but too many of them dumb down the members. So I was THROUGH! I really like some of the people at the church, but I was getting highly stressed just sitting through his sermons. He says a LOT of things like that. It really explains why a lot of AAs don't even try to learn more. They are indoctrinated to be dumb.
These are just 2 of his "pearls of wisdom" he's dropped, and NO ONE challenges him. NO ONE. Can you imagine an Asian or a white male minister standing up saying this??? His contract would be gone before he finished the sermon.
I was just over at Bossip ... *Dodges shoes* BUT I Was reading the comments under the post they made about the 11-y/o girl that was gang raped and there were people there saying things like "She was a hoe" .... and "Kids are dishonest" and "Where were her parents? Why was she sneaking out at night?"
I said, if that chile was running BUT NAKED down the damned street it was NOT the job of those grown ass 28+ men to GANG rape her. I don't care which way they try to make it okay it will NOT be okay to me! Its not okay for ANY WOMAN regardless of age to get raped by that many men. Its a DAMN shame to see folks co-signing this foolishness. *rolls eyes*
I’m not certain what BWE blogger you’re referring to because unless this is someone new to blogging or their first podcast allowing black males to run roughshod over one’s forum shows a total lack of standards, boundaries and protection for the black women participating and the message.
That is wholly unacceptable and shows a lack of preparation and thought put into its execution. These are rudimentary protective measures that are absolutely necessary, but it seems like another example of someone who wants the glory without paying any dues.
As far as these BM buffoons being placed on panels I’m recalling my trip to Austin last year when I posed the very same question during what was supposed to be a tech panel for blacks and how we’d strategize to maximize this knowledge. Instead it was a showboater who declared “black people like to look fly” and how we were only interested in being consumers. To say I was appalled was an understatement and I had to speak up. The response was classic DBR antics which only served to prove my point in the long run.
Aside from the comedians, musicians like John Legend are being touted as education experts. He cares sooo much about black children…when he isn’t dating black women. Typical. The fact that no one says anything when these “entertainers” (really reinforcers of coonery) are validated as experts sends the message that blacks have removed themselves from the conversation.
They choose the Kid’s Table instead of interacting with the grown-ups.
This is just yet another angle to consider when weighing how fast the plague has hit but not taken full effect yet within the dead black community across the world.
I just saw something sad 2 days ago: it seems that ANOTHER 11 yo was raped earlier this month in march by 5 kneegrow males 14 to 18 yo---just because a girl has a bustline and some hips DOESNT MEAN she has a MATURE CERVYX--she was lured to them by a silly 14 yo kneegrow girl----the mess in TX is going to get worse unless we get the 'white male' police there to watch the community and STOP MAKING EXCUSES --when i was 11, I was playing with Christie and Barbie--they are STILL GIRLS
I wonder if you should blame the minister or not----maybe his humor was just funny, or did it have some truth to it. I remember years ago--early 70s, my mom wanted to get a mechanic to fix her car, but the mechanics and electricians were white or latino--because the black men were TOO BUSY looking 'fly' and didn't want to look dirty--that was one thing which turned me 'off' on black men. I wanted the mechanic, electrician type, or 'cowboy'---guys who would get dirty if need be (like pull an engine in a car cause it was too expensive for someone else to do it) and then dress up later--I would find out later that BM would call that 'white' and not do it--what was 'black' was being a DJ in a disco, (mid 70s, which c/rap came from) shooting hoops or selling dope....and now, they loove to wear the styles of 3 yo girls complete with earrings, and facial hair--yeah--thats 'black pride'---
Great post.
I don't know whether to be outraged by the rape itself or the reaction to the girl being raped. You're right, many people can't seem to grasp that a CHILD cannot consent to sex.
You're also correct about the "black community" and the refusal to seek knowledge. This is why nothing of intellectual value has come of the "black community." Take movies for example, Tyler Perry. I don't say this because I hate him, I just don't care for his movies. They're formulaic (no offense to anyone who likes his movies) and the writing is lazy and the plots lack depth.
But anytime you criticize his films, you're immediately labeled as "hater." So apparently we're not even allowed to criticize his awful films.
I also agree with you about how intellectuals are never asked to give insight about the issues in the community. I don't understand the logic behind that. Why ask a comedian instead asking an academic who spent YEARS studying the problems many Black people face? Makes no sense.
Halima,
These are truthful and sad observations that help explain why things are the way they are in large segments of the black world.
Upside down and inside out as you say.
In spite of all of this madness individual BW can STILL live and love well and escape the Matrix IF they put into practice what is being taught at these various blogs/sites.
But sisters better step up the pace because things are only going to get worse.
Hello Halima,
I was almost floored by the intellectual honesty oozing from this post. Many black people are intellectually lazy and short-sited beyond redemption. It's a lifelong devotion to ignorance, mediocrity, and self-defeating, antisocial mindsets, and it is extremely sad that progress seems to be impossible. I avoid people like this.
Unfortunately, I think there will never be room for the massive social reform and damage prevention that would be necessary to shift this dynamic in segments of the black community. Resources are finite in this world. They cycle through the interconnectedness of various systems on this planet, and there are clearly winners and losers on every front in the competition for access to them. It's sad, but true. These men, women and children end up among the losers' camp.
Haima,
I've just discovered the BWE blogs in the last year, and all I can say is, "Thank God"!!
I thought my the women in my family and I were the only black women who thought this way, the right way. I've felt marginalized by the black community, including DBR defending mules, my entire life. Luckily for me, I grew up in a family with a black father and a black mother who held tight to traditional global values. My father was and is a PROVIDER and PROTECTOR. Black men like him pretty much don't exist anymore. I now truly see that for what it is.
I too have notices on blog talk radio that DBRs are allowed to infiltrate and dominate discussions for black women. It's sickening. And yes, when a DBR says something only slightly hateful and maybe even on point, he is praised and praised and held up like she's something special.
That said, who are the BEW bloggers on Blog Talk Radio, because I can't find them at all! Every discussion on interracial dating is led by a sister claiming to be about dating the man and not considering race, and yet they never fail to apologize for leaving the "brothers". They never fail to say "But I love me some black men!! Ain't nothing like a black maaaaaan, y'all". Or this one, "I'm all about interracial dating, but my first choice is and always will be a brotha, okay!!"
Where are the black women on blog talk radio who aren't apologizing for dating non-black men? Where are the one who aren't using interracial dating as a plan B? Where are they? Because I'm not hearing them on blog talk radio.
Halima, your insight into the current slide in Black culture is sharp (and scary).
As a white male who has been in a long-term close relationship with a black female, the strong and deliberate downward pull was evident whenever we were in a group of "her" people. It was palpable, the effort of others to force her to "be real" (which seemed to mean be frivolous, folksy, obscene, ignorant), and I could watch her slip into the role, fighting it all the way. I don't think there was a time we walked away that she didn't audibly breathe a sigh of relief.
Her family and friends accepted me because they knew that I was not just passing through, but they never stopped working overtime to drag her into some old-timey Bessie Smith mold at every opportunity. It was exhausting.
Too exhausting. We had a relationship that was intellectually stimulating and full, but the drain of "the people" plays the part of a third side of the triangle. Neither of us had the energy.
Perhaps if we'd moved far away, it would have been possible--but I sympathize with the women here who have essentially left behind their former "community" and I understand them.
Thanks for a great post.
To anonymous at 2:29:
I am sorry that your relationship did not work out. Your insights were correct.
Thinking to myself, WOW he even noticed how his gf had to take a deep breathe. She was so happy that particular occassion was over.
I wish she would have moved to a more diverse area, then the two of you probably would have had a better chance to become a couple.
Who knows the two of you may meet up somewhere and begin a new chapter.
As you can see this is why many bw bloggers are encouraging bw to move away from prodominately b/communities, it is not easy being who you want to be.
I had a bw neighbor who was dating a wm cop. She stood her ground. LOL, no one from the neighborhood bothered her. I am not sure about her family.
Of course, not all families are like your former gf's familiy.
ann
@ Faith:
You are right. We are at the kid's table.
I searched for images of john and not one woman he dated recently appears to be an AA woman.
lois
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