Drink it!
F&*5% drink this Red cocktail now! Its good for you!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Here's the thing right...
I am trying to focus this blog and my work a bit more so I can be of benefit to my readers. I am thinking that the age group I appeal to, are black women over thirty and white men over 35.
I suppose mentally mature and firing to get going with getting the best from life and love, is who I am reaching loud and clear, however I then come across black women who are even beyond thirty and dont seem to quite get the fact that they are finite beings and there is time to just leave every other concern and preoccupation and agenda (of which there seems no end) and ive 100% focus to yourself; worry about you, worry about your life, your progress, your man, your reproducing.
The saddest thing is that the older you get can also mean the harder it is to teach. Certain ways of being and thinking can become 'ingrained'. At a certain age you might think, 'I've tried that and failed, why try it again?' There is something about a 'formed identity' at that point that doesnt let you easily manouver, change, turn around or aside from certain attitudes.
With BWE I know that those who will make something out of it just in time are those who have just crossed the thirty threshold now. Anyone above 35 who had just come across the idea of black women living for themselves aka BWE will have to work tripple time to secure something for themselves. This is because 35 and over are still the pioneers of this new black woman activism front; working on a hard land that has not been broken up yet, combating stereotypes that have not been softened and also battling their own self esteem issues and complexes, fears about ticking clocks, self recriminations, self pity etc etc etc.
By the time the younger ones come throught, a lot of work would have been done to change attitudes about who a black woman is and what her social range is, change will be in the air, the pioneers would have changed attitudes or at least introduced doubt, dissonance, hestitation in the minds of whites, other blacks and other minorities who wont be as quick to label or slot black women into a particular role, or archtype because they have come across a couple of black women (the pioneers), who didnt fit the bill in the past. The word would be out in other words that black women can and are living for themselves and there will be a better understanding of the silent mistreatment and the particular brand of discrimination she has been experincing (all covered up now), from bothe ww and bm.
If you are a 35 year old and above black woman who hasnt secured her milestones around marriage, children, finances, a house and career etc, I expect that you will be working at a greatly increased pace, making use of every shortcut and catchup strategy available to you. If you are working at the pace of a 25 year old or 30 year old than I am worried for you!
This is not to scare anyone but just to get many black women who have a tendency to match their 'energy' with that of other black people around them and their black girlfreinds and acquintances etc, without taking into consideration their own milestone achievements, to get these black women, to 'see the light' and realize they cannot be doing 20 miles per hour at their age and level of achievement.
To be contd
PS
The Kindle books are a little behind schedule but still within January. I shall make them available for PDF downloads as well as some have requested!
New e-Books Available on Amazon Kindle January 2012
Wondering about Interracial dating?
You will find answers in this e-book which gives a clear insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her interracial dating option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
I suppose mentally mature and firing to get going with getting the best from life and love, is who I am reaching loud and clear, however I then come across black women who are even beyond thirty and dont seem to quite get the fact that they are finite beings and there is time to just leave every other concern and preoccupation and agenda (of which there seems no end) and ive 100% focus to yourself; worry about you, worry about your life, your progress, your man, your reproducing.
The saddest thing is that the older you get can also mean the harder it is to teach. Certain ways of being and thinking can become 'ingrained'. At a certain age you might think, 'I've tried that and failed, why try it again?' There is something about a 'formed identity' at that point that doesnt let you easily manouver, change, turn around or aside from certain attitudes.
With BWE I know that those who will make something out of it just in time are those who have just crossed the thirty threshold now. Anyone above 35 who had just come across the idea of black women living for themselves aka BWE will have to work tripple time to secure something for themselves. This is because 35 and over are still the pioneers of this new black woman activism front; working on a hard land that has not been broken up yet, combating stereotypes that have not been softened and also battling their own self esteem issues and complexes, fears about ticking clocks, self recriminations, self pity etc etc etc.
By the time the younger ones come throught, a lot of work would have been done to change attitudes about who a black woman is and what her social range is, change will be in the air, the pioneers would have changed attitudes or at least introduced doubt, dissonance, hestitation in the minds of whites, other blacks and other minorities who wont be as quick to label or slot black women into a particular role, or archtype because they have come across a couple of black women (the pioneers), who didnt fit the bill in the past. The word would be out in other words that black women can and are living for themselves and there will be a better understanding of the silent mistreatment and the particular brand of discrimination she has been experincing (all covered up now), from bothe ww and bm.
If you are a 35 year old and above black woman who hasnt secured her milestones around marriage, children, finances, a house and career etc, I expect that you will be working at a greatly increased pace, making use of every shortcut and catchup strategy available to you. If you are working at the pace of a 25 year old or 30 year old than I am worried for you!
This is not to scare anyone but just to get many black women who have a tendency to match their 'energy' with that of other black people around them and their black girlfreinds and acquintances etc, without taking into consideration their own milestone achievements, to get these black women, to 'see the light' and realize they cannot be doing 20 miles per hour at their age and level of achievement.
To be contd
PS
The Kindle books are a little behind schedule but still within January. I shall make them available for PDF downloads as well as some have requested!
New e-Books Available on Amazon Kindle January 2012
Wondering about Interracial dating?
You will find answers in this e-book which gives a clear insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her interracial dating option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
White Men are Trapped in Stereotypes too!
David Thewlis and Michelle Yeoh
I went to watch 'the Lady' two weeks ago, the movie about Aung San Suu Kyi the Noble prize winning Burmese opposition politician who has been fighting for democracy for her people who are under military rule and has lived under house arrest for 15 years (recently released).The Movie features David Thewlis and Michelle Yeoh and I proclaim that I just loveeeee the movie. It was just so tender at moments I found myself tearing up. Just to see the sacrifices made by Michael Aris for his wife Aung San Suu Kyi, my lawd it was so touching and also unbelievably sad (Micheal was a single father bringing up their children in Oxford England while Aung was under house arrest, he later died of cancer denied his desperate last wish to see his wife one last time).
I am so glad to see a movie that challenges the idea of white men as Asian female fetishist and whatever other term folks invoke to tarnish white men and their asian partners.
Micheal Aris married Ms Suu Kyi on New Year's Day 1972 in a simply Buddhist ceremony in England, but it was always on the understanding that they would have to be apart if the Burmese people needed her- BBC
It was amazing to me that David Thewlis who played Michael in the movie confessed that he didnt know that Aung was married to a British man with two officially British children because you see thats the kind of thing that gets 'hidden' so that the narrative of the evil lecherous asian female fetishist goes unchallenged.
I also adore Luc Beeson who produced the movie and will continue to support his efforts because I get him. Luc has been on a mission to bring these stories of fascinating, beautiful and even kick ass minority women who are so often obscured to our attention-- Columbiana being one of his recent offerings. The other day black women were moaning about, 'why dont white men do blogs saying date black women'? Lol how so very myopic and boring. I would rather have powerful white man do it like Luc Beeson and put their resources towards reshaping the popular image of black women as with Columbiana. It helps that he has a black French wife who also worked on the film 'The Lady' in an important and high profile role.
I repeat, that I am happy that this idea of the white male with his lecherous eye on minority women is being challenged because black women can burst free from a sordid category that they then get trapped in by such rendering, indeed by definition black and other minority women can then only occupy the place of victim, pawn, collaborator in a white man's sick fantasy never as his love and lover. Mainstream has been happy to keep us locked in this category because they are always mindful of pandering to the white female contingent, indeed let a white woman write a book about boinking a whole team of minority men and she gets to feature on a mainstream media program, feminists salute her as an empowered and sexually liberated woman and dare us to 'slut shame', however a black woman writing the same and no one would touch it, because it would then be 'Oh what a sad misguided woman being used by white men who fetishises black skin,' she would be a 'self hater,' a right wing tool...etc etc
Yep it is a rendering of the situation where only white men can occupy the fetishist role and thus minority women can only be pawns and victims. One thing which black women have often been slow to understand is that by piling white men with negative terms and by trapping white men in an unsavoury category they too quite easily trap themselves in an unsavory role/category too.
'She could do better'
Ayaan has a baby boy
'Thomas Hirsi Ferguson'
The other day I happened upon a conversation online where a white female participant said that she was 'amazed' at Ayaan Hirsi Ali's choice of partner. She then went on to say that she could do better than Niall. I laughed. Some white women probably think black women are easy to fool (or maybe they actually believe the stuff that comes out from their mouths, which is a scary prospect) or maybe they think they can 'tarnish' a black woman's choice or put her off by these tricks. It aint working and I want black women to take note and get savvy, folks will say things to make you overlook fine men and stay waiting for some mythical creature who is supposedly better for you and as soon as their reverse psychology -or whatever this one can be termed-works, you wont have walked 2 yards before they or their sisters are dating these men.
Be wise!
New e-Books Available on Amazon Kindle January 2012
Wondering about Interracial dating?
You will find answers in this e-book which gives a clear insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her interracial dating option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Friday, December 30, 2011
And Finally and e-book for white male readers!
Happy New Year to all Supporters of this Blog!
and presenting:
New e-Book Available on Amazon Kindle January 2012
Yes its here finally here, and I am excited that finally after all these years of working on it, I am able to offer my white male readers an e-book written especially with white men in mind! I have give it a comedic title because that is me and I also want to give a lighthearted feel to an issue that often tends to be 'heavy'.
Synopsis
"Do Black Women with Afros date White Guys?"
About the Book
Are you a white man who is beginning to think about what it could mean to date a black woman?
Or, have you had a puzzling experience with a black woman or two and would like some idea of their views on white guys? Do you want to get clued up in general about their feelings on race, on relationships and even on interracting interracially? Could you do with a bit more understanding of black women by exploring key social realities for them as a group and the social expectations placed upon them by their communities and by the wider society?
If the answer to any of these is yes, then this book will get you off to a good start!
The aim of this book is to lay a knowledge foundation that will assist genuine white men in a better understanding of the black women they interact with socially, and the many reactions they might encounter, so they can forge succesful relationships and friendships with black women.
Written in an easy question and answer format, the book is also interspaced with full chapters dealing with issues like; why black women and white men appear disinterested in each other, how to get connected, the background on the current fraught relationship situation between black men and women, how third parties affect interracial dating, racism and working through your own issues around race.
About the author
Halima Anderson started a mini revolution with her 2005 book, "Supposing I wanted to date a white guy…?", and has taken her place among the pioneers of the movement to encourage black women into optimum lifestyles through a newer form of activism called Black Women Empowerment (BWE). This book comes out of over a decade of writing and commenting on interracial dating, on race and on black women’s issues.
After many years of receiving comments, questions and letters from her white male readers, she decided that it was time to give them their own book and if you like, the white man’s companion book to "Supposing I wanted to date a White Guy…?" (which was written from the perspective of black women).
The result is, "Do Black Women with Afros date White Guys?" which answers questions compiled from correspondence and from the many discussions with her white male readers since the publication of her first book in 2005.
"Do Black Women with Afros date White Guys?" will definitely fill in the gaps and answer the questions which her white male readers had after her first book, but it also deals with the fundamental questions any white man would be inetersted in knowing about black women and interracial dating.
Wondering about Interracial dating?
You will find answers in this e-book which gives a clear insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her interracial dating option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
May 2012 bring you all your hearts desires
and presenting:
New e-Book Available on Amazon Kindle January 2012
Yes its here finally here, and I am excited that finally after all these years of working on it, I am able to offer my white male readers an e-book written especially with white men in mind! I have give it a comedic title because that is me and I also want to give a lighthearted feel to an issue that often tends to be 'heavy'.
Synopsis
"Do Black Women with Afros date White Guys?"
About the Book
Are you a white man who is beginning to think about what it could mean to date a black woman?
Or, have you had a puzzling experience with a black woman or two and would like some idea of their views on white guys? Do you want to get clued up in general about their feelings on race, on relationships and even on interracting interracially? Could you do with a bit more understanding of black women by exploring key social realities for them as a group and the social expectations placed upon them by their communities and by the wider society?
If the answer to any of these is yes, then this book will get you off to a good start!
The aim of this book is to lay a knowledge foundation that will assist genuine white men in a better understanding of the black women they interact with socially, and the many reactions they might encounter, so they can forge succesful relationships and friendships with black women.
Written in an easy question and answer format, the book is also interspaced with full chapters dealing with issues like; why black women and white men appear disinterested in each other, how to get connected, the background on the current fraught relationship situation between black men and women, how third parties affect interracial dating, racism and working through your own issues around race.
About the author
Halima Anderson started a mini revolution with her 2005 book, "Supposing I wanted to date a white guy…?", and has taken her place among the pioneers of the movement to encourage black women into optimum lifestyles through a newer form of activism called Black Women Empowerment (BWE). This book comes out of over a decade of writing and commenting on interracial dating, on race and on black women’s issues.
After many years of receiving comments, questions and letters from her white male readers, she decided that it was time to give them their own book and if you like, the white man’s companion book to "Supposing I wanted to date a White Guy…?" (which was written from the perspective of black women).
The result is, "Do Black Women with Afros date White Guys?" which answers questions compiled from correspondence and from the many discussions with her white male readers since the publication of her first book in 2005.
"Do Black Women with Afros date White Guys?" will definitely fill in the gaps and answer the questions which her white male readers had after her first book, but it also deals with the fundamental questions any white man would be inetersted in knowing about black women and interracial dating.
Wondering about Interracial dating?
You will find answers in this e-book which gives a clear insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her interracial dating option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Saturday, December 24, 2011
New e-Book Available on Amazon Kindle Early January 2012- Happy Christmas and New Year
New E-book Coming Jan 2012 to kindle
Happy Christmas and a very fulfilling 2012!
And to announce that my new e-book which is focssing on black woman walking the empowerment walk (no messing about for 2012), is out in January 2012 (look out for further details soon).
Short Synopsis
First Steps to Personal Empowernment
A BWE approach for the Black Woman
Why does the black woman get so little in return for toiling so hard on behalf of others and indeed on behalf of her race?
The short answer is that toiling as a race-handmaiden despite the best of intentions, is a flawed idea that wont bear fruit both for black women and the community they so desperately want to save through this life approach. In this book Halima Anderson explains why race-handmaiden living is a flawed and non-yielding model even though selfless giving to the point of self-abnegation is widely held to be the what authentic black womanhood is about.
'First Steps to Personal Empowerment' looks at how black women get turned into 'race handmaidens' and explores why it has and will not achieve the goals desired for the black group. This book will challenge black women to recognize race-handmaiden living for what it is, and thus leave behind the notion of handmaiden living, moving instead towards a mindset which prioritizes optimal living through self-benefitting behavior. It will detail the steps that black woman need to take to free themselves to live a life oriented towards personal fulfillment.
Halima's has an indepth knowledge of the subject of black women empowernment gathered from over a decade of working as a writer, social commentator and radio personality.
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an e-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Meanwhile...
'you racist!'.....'stop blaming me!'....'women first'......'what about me?'
'Well folks, I think we've worked ourselves out a pretty good deal here, dont you think?'
'splendid solution'.....'looks good to me'
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an e-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Friday, December 09, 2011
Early December - some thoughts
Black unity proponents would want us to believe
this is how black men and women are positioned towards each other
This is really how bm and bw are positioned
re each other; black women in supplicatory posture begging
for black men to be with them and help them build black unity
They (black unity proponents) will need to explain how building a thriving black group can be possible given this situation. When black unity proponents (people who preach about blacks coming together) try to recruit you or get you sympathetic tothe idea of black people coming together, try not to enagage with their idea 'emotionally' try instead to pin it down realistically by looking at what the situation/conditions are now and how these either make the goal possible or impossible.
Many folk run around talking black unity, fixing black people etc without enagaing with the idea on a relaitic level, its a fun idea an emotionally warm idea to them and so it remains, just an illusion!
Many folk run around talking black unity, fixing black people etc without enagaing with the idea on a relaitic level, its a fun idea an emotionally warm idea to them and so it remains, just an illusion!
A recent study on the UK Riots
A few days ago I caught the late news show on the BBC discussing a study on the recent riots that happened in the UK. The guardian newspaper had done a study and the interpretations of the study were that it was all about people feeling discrimnated against (well a good portion of them anyway), by police who got a dishonorable mention. The counter argument which I think is pretty solid is that of course they would be unhappy with police given that 2/3rds had criminal records anyway!
Anyway the main thing that caught my attention was the little clip they showed of the 'peaceful' demonstration that acted as the spark for the riots. The clip showed as we can all guess by now, a lot of irate black women chanting, 'what do we want...', 'when do we want it...'
It is not I suppose any suprise to readers of this and other black women empowernment blogs that black women are always in the forfront of all these 'defend bm' activities (the young black man who was shot and whose death triggered the whole riots was actually mixed race but I am not sure which parent is white) despite that fact that they are disproportionately victims of black men and no black man would ever put together a protest on their behalf.
Anyway to me the main thing that stood out was that these women were demonstrating essentially because the police had done the shooting. I say this because there is a high homicide rate in that area. Black boys kill each other at a alarming rate yet apart from the yearly peace walk, I dont see black women taking to the streets. The other thing is that the most recent police shootings have actually been of white men, yet we havent yet seen whites mobilize and put on a 'protest' of some sort. It seems that black women and the men in the protest march are saying that black young men are not to be shot by police under any circumstances (indeed they can kill each other but police should not!). This is very concerning because under certain circumstances, the police are allowed to use lethal force. For instance if I walked into a supermarket waving a gun and if I refuse to be talked out of my actions that I can expect that the police will look to use lethal force at some point, thus it isnt really valid to demonstrate against a police shooting, that is unless it has been investigated and found that the person was unlawfully killed. By the time there was a protest march no invetsigation had been done around the circumstances for the shooting! Instead of waiting to find out how and why Mark Duggen was shot, folk took to the street in a 'peaceful protest'. Peaceful protest of what I ask?
The truth is sections of the society are allowed to have juvenile responses and the failed black leadership show they are failed by refusing to challenge this behaviour. Instead they have joined in a wrong headed activity that has lead to the losse of lives, home and property and smeered the image of the UK.
What I overheard in the Library
It seems to me that racism has come to be popularly defined as not letting black men get their way!
I was at my local library the other day and overheard two Asian school girls talking vigorously about how racist some parents were for not wanting their daughter to marry or date a black guy. Now I dont know the details, it could even be that the parents were worried because of traits they had seen in the boy and not necessarily because of the color (it happens but this worry about the person is always conflated with parents being racist because of color). The way these young girls were going on like these parents are just the scum of the earth and 'ewwwww', you could have thought it had something to do with them personally. They seemed pretty cut up about it all!
It took me back to a time when on a bus I heard three black girls make a comment along the same lines ie that someone was racist for not letting a black guy date them or something of that nature, and you know what the amazing thing was here, this comment didnt come out of the blues, it was prompted when an interracial couple made up of a black school girl and a white school boy passed by our stationary bus. This sight was so uncommon in those days and still is now, that it spurred a discussion, but rather than this discussion being about black grils themselves eg how black girls are not dating white boys or racism affecting black girls, these girls immediately started the discussion from the point of black boys naturally and automatically as if it just wasnt something about them and their issue too!
I remember feeling worried that at that age black girls had learned to write themselves out of the picture so swiftly. This was a clear instance for them to put themselves in the frame but they brushed it aside and centered black boys and their problems in dating white girls (which cant be that much give the levels of interracial dating between black boys and white girls then and now).
Black boys have carried out a real effective PR campaign for some years now that they are the victims especially when people dont let them have their way.
I am sure those Asian girls have come across black boys who say they dont date black girls and trash black girls in their presence (because it is a comon affair now), yet somehow in peoples minds this does not register as racism, i dont hear the wider society, white girls even Asian girls critique this comom attitude in black boys, instead the same black boys are 'victims' when others shun them. Indeed I am yet to hear one outside voice comment on this foul behaviour (except a few white men in private forums) insetad the black boys are always victims of others even as chief victimizers themselves.
Very curious very curious!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an e-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
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