The primary reason why we as BWE are in black women’s corner:
The mark of a real bw champion is their willingness to ‘uncouple’ bw from black community. Yes a willing to ‘decommunity’ bw, is the main sign of a real black woman champion.
Why? you ask...well the reason is clear, ‘community’ is now the main site of oppression of black women, anyone who loves black women would seriously consider the argument of black women being 'unbonded' from it. Its that simple!
If you look at most of the analysis for black women out there (whether they are by womanists, black feminsists etc), it still very much considers black women entities 'the community'. Black women are still enscribed in community and are still analyzed as beings of the black community, community agents, black community bound, their destinies and lives to be traced out only within these confines and terms.
BWE are willing to unyoke black women from ‘community’ if it will save their lives, keep them sane, prevent them from being worked to death, provide a measure of protection, ensure their resources do not become the possession of others, if it will enable them meet their dreams and goals. To BWE the work which bw do or what they are to their community, is not more important than the health and well-being of black women itself!
BWE are willing to ‘loose her and let her go’. Ask yourself, which other justice group even those that claim to be all about bw are willing to go as far as to say, ‘Black woman, you are now more in danger from within so our models and frameworks need to take this into account and to ensure the survival of bw we will be willing to go as far as detach her from our community-bound, and community-based models if necessary'.
True champions of bw put bw first, not behind the use and purpose of black women to their communities. They can imagine bw living a life outside its boundaries. Those unwilling to separate bw from the community role and community locating contribute to her oppression
Another reason why BWE are really in bw cornerWe give black women the information that others (in particular the black community) suppresses in order to keep black women limited in range and tracing out their lives only in the limits of community. Since BWE came into being there has been an explosion of very empowering, important and eye opening information for black women to use towards living well and thriving and getting ahead.
Contd
The question is indeed in need of asking, why hasn’t black feminism brought forth new ways of looking at the black woman’s situation that could be of practical use and benefit to black women NOW in her current situation and with the nature of her current threat. Black women are indeed in a bad way yet all we get is ineffective and outdated theories that do not address the current needs of black women!
From these ‘learned’ women we have nothing but the usual ‘complaining’ about the wider system. There is nothing to address the current nature of black female oppression, the battering of black women’s image and self esteem (this time not by whites but by black men). Maybe this is why they have absolutely nothing to say nor any solution to suggest (because black feminism/womanism was all about facing the outward enemy i.e. the white man and thus has come to the limit of its operation and ability now that the white man is no longer the biggest problem of black women).
So each day the situation gets worse and the black woman is at the point that she rises daily and wonders, ‘who is going to trash my image, today? what next? what is going to be dished at me this time?’
Indeed black men have now established a culture of besmirching black womanhood to all and sundry. Wesley Snipes's statement about black women (which marks the beginning of this defaming of black womanhood culture) would now be deemed 'harmeless' in comparison to the brutal savaging that marks the utterences of the black men who followed and built on his example.
But what have black feminists said about this current manifestation of misogyny directed at black women? I mean its not like we haven’t had numerous examples of it happening for black feminists to know that it isn’t a fluke, a one-off but now a cultural reality. What has been put forward? What theory has been created around which a fight-back could be organized? Nothing.
Instead we are left hanging and besmirching of black womanhood is now so entrenched it is almost an unreported weekly occurrence. So why no response, why no ‘news conference’, I mean aren’t black feminists suppose to respond to the latest threat, the latest targeting of black womanhood from wherever it comes especially in this case where it creates a situation where others feel it is ok to have a go at black women. I mean I thought that they black feminists are suppose to note and to pick up and indeed have something to say about anything that threatens the black woman and her standing in society. I guess not!
Despite the mounting number of cases of black men doing what they are doing you hardly see any analysis presented on what this is or how it needs to be addressed as a threat to black women. Even the most famous black feminist blogs pretend they do not see this increasingly frequent and mainstream phenomenon. They think it is not worth commenting on, I mean it is no biggey I suppose ((sarcasm off)).
If ever they do respond its to position it as an event that requires the response ‘its the actions of an a&sre ehole,’ not that these increasing occurences have strategic and far reaching implications on black womanhood. Not as something that requires rethinking our frameworks and base line assumptions of who is with us and who is against us!
Black women are receiving some of the worse image battering ever and the implications and possible damage is even greater because it was mostly internal (and thus creates an open season condition where others see black women as fair game given that black men do it too).
Black women’s self-esteem is being torn down daily but as for the black feminists, they spend an inordinate amount of time and energy defending and refusing to let go of the assumptions and models of their current feminist framework that have done and continue to do nothing for black women, indeed these analysis and models ‘refuse’ to acknowledge the current reality which is that black men are now the primary threat to black women (and no not in some minor, irritating way) and not because they have ‘internalized’ some stuff, but their actions show deliberateness and a deliberate decision to target black women.
Black feminist models, the ones they prefer, are those that baulk from challenging black men’s activities and those that ‘insist’ on not taking black male threat seriously enough to have something concrete and definite to say.
Yep, to take black men head on, to call the situation for what it is, these feminist would have to ‘seismically’ shift from the current black feminist thought moorings and you know they cant do that. You know how closely they have to align with the current models endorsed by the ‘progressive’ gallery, even if these do absolutely nothing for the black woman’s situation.
Then maybe they are too far into ‘academia’ to really see how the game has changed. Indeed one can become really disconnected from how things really are on the ground and thus the usefulness of their ’suggestions’ when in academia.
BWE are the ones making the difference because we respond to what black women’s current reality is, we do not try to pretend nothing has changed or that there hasn’t been a rearrangement of the chess board and today the little measure of protection that black women might achieved could well come from white people, white places and white structures. I guess this is the intolerable truth to it all.
History will judge those who don’t have the courage and strength to do the right thing harshly!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Mud sticks and BWE are the real Champions of black women make no mistake!
I wrote this blog post a couple of days ago and had a few things to add before publishing, and then the story of 'psychology today's' article broke.
I just have a few sentences to add to what has already been written. I will start by saying 'mud sticks'.
I hear and see people pointing out the so called doctor's crappy methodology and labelling him 'stupid' etc for not even being able to follow simple research methods, and producing a research analysis that even a high schooler would be ashamed to put their name to, but in calling Santoshi a stupid person unworthy of a PHD, maybe we have fallen for his rouse big time.
See I find it hard to believe that a lecturer in London School of Economics doesn’t know how to make a logic argument or follow applicable and acceptable research methodology or didnt know that his approach would be taken apart in all of two seconds. His methods were just so ... substandard that you just have to consider that Santoshi's objective wasnt ever to do sound research and reach sound research conclusions, and wasn’t only about controversy and page clicks but was about dumping something into public domain that black women would forever struggle with.
I can hear people in years to come saying something like, 'wasn’t there a study done some years back that proved that black women were unattractive/had more testosterone/were more masculine?' Read more on this next big urban myth that will circulate for years to come
Before I go into other 'deep' issues I want to write an 'ode' to something fascinating that I have watched happen for the last five years.
A couple of years ago I got into a kind of debate/argument with one of the so called leading womanist activists and one of her 'phd' backers. I believe it was around the time of the dunbar village rape. I remember that that 'womanist' who was purported to be 'working in the trenches' was more worried about the police who would now be patrolling 'our communites' because of what happened and how this wasnt what we wanted indeed, we didnt want them coming for our sons and brothers and husbands!
I remember that when I raised the issue of Justice for the woman she and her PHD backer made the idea seem all wrong and sordid, indeed it was wrong and immoral for us and even the woman to want justice and to seek justice throught the channels provided by society! They started talking about 'mediation' and peacemaking in our communtites, in fact a couple of others who joined the argument started saying that the justice system would even oppress the woman and she wouldnt be 'guaranteed' any justice anyway, so why bother!
Christ in his highest heaven. I think that was the day I realized how useless a good portion of womanism and black feminsism had become to black women and their current reality.
Indeed black feminsist who have forgotten who should be their first concern! Instead they are more worried about ensuring that the only measure of protection that black woman have in this case i.e. the police, are prevented from coming into the situation. I know that Whataboutourdaughters also got flack for using hard language in her outrage at the heinous act perpetrated against the black woman, see because in all this their focus was never black woman. they were even more worried and spent lots of energy warning against the use of 'inflammatory langauage'.
Since black folks and many degreed bw, enjoy proving how educamated they are, their wonderful debating prowess and how many ways they can apply theories (drawn up by others mind you) and spin an impressive argument or take a certain theory to amazing lengths on the strength of their 'intellect', it is not suprising that something that is simple and straight forward as being the advocate for the black woman in the situation (I mean since you identify yourself as a black feminist and all that), suddenly becomes anything but! Indeed I sometimes go online and read a number of blogs by black women who are 'read' and all I can see them doing is trying to prove how 'amazingly' brillant and wonderfully 'au fait' they are with all sorts of progressive theories! Thats all it is about for them, displaying their skillz and their intellect whether black women are lying dead in the street or not. I know the 'academic' feminist was more worried about the langauage used by black women online who were understandably outraged over the whole issue, and how it would stigmatize black people and would encourage racists to start putting their oar in! See because black women have to be all concerened about all those other worries, and have to be careful about their language and use the correct words even as they are beaten into the ground.
I thought long and hard about that incident and it scared me that black women who we are all looking to to develop theories and analysis that would help the black woman plight (a deadly an insidious warfare going on against black women and from which many black women have no protection because they are naive and unaware) are the ones actually advicing black women to submit to more yokes, and chains.
Am I saying all black womanists/feminsist are this way? No but I think we are past the days of the vibrant kind of black feminsism that gave us intersectionality. The bulk of what is being produced online by many who declare themselves black feminsist/womanists is not inspiring, is chasing shadows and is even down right scary in that it encourages black women to remain in loosing situations and losing dynamics!
To these woman bw are simply a hammer, a tool to weild against any oppressive system, bridge builders, gap closers, healing bringers for their community. Essentially thats the use and purpose of black women and what they personally need out if the situation...well who cares.
To be contd
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
I just have a few sentences to add to what has already been written. I will start by saying 'mud sticks'.
I hear and see people pointing out the so called doctor's crappy methodology and labelling him 'stupid' etc for not even being able to follow simple research methods, and producing a research analysis that even a high schooler would be ashamed to put their name to, but in calling Santoshi a stupid person unworthy of a PHD, maybe we have fallen for his rouse big time.
See I find it hard to believe that a lecturer in London School of Economics doesn’t know how to make a logic argument or follow applicable and acceptable research methodology or didnt know that his approach would be taken apart in all of two seconds. His methods were just so ... substandard that you just have to consider that Santoshi's objective wasnt ever to do sound research and reach sound research conclusions, and wasn’t only about controversy and page clicks but was about dumping something into public domain that black women would forever struggle with.
I can hear people in years to come saying something like, 'wasn’t there a study done some years back that proved that black women were unattractive/had more testosterone/were more masculine?' Read more on this next big urban myth that will circulate for years to come
Before I go into other 'deep' issues I want to write an 'ode' to something fascinating that I have watched happen for the last five years.
Very close to where I live, there is a nest of swans. Each year for the past five years I have watched the same couple come to the same place, to lay half a dozen or more eggs and over three months hatch them and take their little cygnets off down the river till they are strong and self sustaining. It has been awesome watching the little ones taken for their first swim and then watch their grey downy feather turn white, over the months as they follow their parents. It is a sight that has delighted me for these many years in fact as soon as it is spring I wait expectantly for their arrival. Sometime in early March I heard a perculiar 'bark' and I just new inside that they had come back to nest and yes indeed the next day they were there preparing the nest and soon they had laid five blue grey eggs and we are expecting hatchlings any day now.
I dont know how long I will be blessed with this marvelous display of commitment, something some human's cant even muster-who indeed knows how long they will continue to be fertile or their lifespan- but I love watching them take turns sitting on the eggs and love watching the male 'case' the area for danger and ward off dogs that sometimes wonder near! Two years ago I thought to write something but didnt get round to it, so this year I want to say, 'respect, respect' to the inspiring 'couple.'
Activists in the BWE Family are the real champions of black women
BWE blogs and blogs in the family of BWE are the only ones who really have a focus on championing and defending black women.A couple of years ago I got into a kind of debate/argument with one of the so called leading womanist activists and one of her 'phd' backers. I believe it was around the time of the dunbar village rape. I remember that that 'womanist' who was purported to be 'working in the trenches' was more worried about the police who would now be patrolling 'our communites' because of what happened and how this wasnt what we wanted indeed, we didnt want them coming for our sons and brothers and husbands!
I remember that when I raised the issue of Justice for the woman she and her PHD backer made the idea seem all wrong and sordid, indeed it was wrong and immoral for us and even the woman to want justice and to seek justice throught the channels provided by society! They started talking about 'mediation' and peacemaking in our communtites, in fact a couple of others who joined the argument started saying that the justice system would even oppress the woman and she wouldnt be 'guaranteed' any justice anyway, so why bother!
Christ in his highest heaven. I think that was the day I realized how useless a good portion of womanism and black feminsism had become to black women and their current reality.
Indeed black feminsist who have forgotten who should be their first concern! Instead they are more worried about ensuring that the only measure of protection that black woman have in this case i.e. the police, are prevented from coming into the situation. I know that Whataboutourdaughters also got flack for using hard language in her outrage at the heinous act perpetrated against the black woman, see because in all this their focus was never black woman. they were even more worried and spent lots of energy warning against the use of 'inflammatory langauage'.
Since black folks and many degreed bw, enjoy proving how educamated they are, their wonderful debating prowess and how many ways they can apply theories (drawn up by others mind you) and spin an impressive argument or take a certain theory to amazing lengths on the strength of their 'intellect', it is not suprising that something that is simple and straight forward as being the advocate for the black woman in the situation (I mean since you identify yourself as a black feminist and all that), suddenly becomes anything but! Indeed I sometimes go online and read a number of blogs by black women who are 'read' and all I can see them doing is trying to prove how 'amazingly' brillant and wonderfully 'au fait' they are with all sorts of progressive theories! Thats all it is about for them, displaying their skillz and their intellect whether black women are lying dead in the street or not. I know the 'academic' feminist was more worried about the langauage used by black women online who were understandably outraged over the whole issue, and how it would stigmatize black people and would encourage racists to start putting their oar in! See because black women have to be all concerened about all those other worries, and have to be careful about their language and use the correct words even as they are beaten into the ground.
I thought long and hard about that incident and it scared me that black women who we are all looking to to develop theories and analysis that would help the black woman plight (a deadly an insidious warfare going on against black women and from which many black women have no protection because they are naive and unaware) are the ones actually advicing black women to submit to more yokes, and chains.
Am I saying all black womanists/feminsist are this way? No but I think we are past the days of the vibrant kind of black feminsism that gave us intersectionality. The bulk of what is being produced online by many who declare themselves black feminsist/womanists is not inspiring, is chasing shadows and is even down right scary in that it encourages black women to remain in loosing situations and losing dynamics!
To be contd
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Friday, May 06, 2011
What are your plans for improving your fortunes?
I once told a freind of mine that black women are the hardest folk to sell to particularly innovative products that make you effective in what you already do. This is because black women often do not have a plan to 'get ahead' of the pack. Note I said 'get ahead of the pack'. See there is the general, 'progressing in life', and there is the 'getting ahead of the pack'. Many black women do the former but have no clue re the later in fact many feel doing the later is somehow 'wrong'. Yep I was talking to a another freind about how someone plotted their course strategically to get what they wanted and she wrinkled her nose and said eww, as if the woman had done something immoral! lol. I reflected on how it is that this freind is 'where she is' in life.
Improving your fortunes beyond getting what is coming towards you 'naturally' even logically seems to be looked upon as an 'evil art' among bw. Other women however have aggressive plans to put themselves in front or on the map or out ahead. And so while black women wrinkle their noses as they zoom past, these women live the life.
You have to honestly get past the notion that strategically planning and plotting your success course to be ahead of your peers is wrong or evil. I live in a seriosuly class based society here and one of the ways that the class system is kept alive is by imparting a sense of 'wrongness' to the idea of striving and wanting to better oneself and be rich etc. There are all sorts of names used to describe the upper classes like 'toffs' etc, to confer the notion that nobody would want to be 'liek them'. But note that the 'toffs' are living better, healtheir and longer lives. Note that the upper classes already have the structure and norms, money and family arrangements and networks that make 'getting ahead', natural and normal. The working class doesnt and so anyone from the working class who wants to make it needs to be 'purposeful' in their actions and activities towards getting to the top, and it is this purpose that others are trying to stamp down by making it seem immoral to want to be rich etc! Replace I want to be rich with 'I want to live well, live healthier by having access to private health care, personal training, i want to buy my mother a house or give her that hip replacement operation she needs etc' and you might just shake loose that inculcated, 'slimy feeling' to the idea of wealth and riches that is really keeping you from the path to wealth.
Beacuse other women have agressive (and I dont mean they fight but they are dilligent), self elevation plans, they often inspire inventions and innovations to products. They in turn see a product and immediately know how they can 'plug it into' their current plans to give them the acceleration they need in any area.
Weightloss, body toning, dress, style, hair products etc, I am not so sure that black women are often left behind when it comes to innovation, because of racism and lack of numbers. I think as a group it is noted that we often do not respond appropraitely to innovation because, 'what we need that for anyway'. We are not looking to overtake and move out in front so we dont know what to do with some of these 'inventions'. Indeed it is only those who are working some plan that see the reason why they should have a stronger rope, stronger ship, car or what have you.
Many black women have internalized the idea that 'we are to be at the back', not in so many words but as an inchoate notion, like a slight beat they march their lives to (this is one reason why I tell black women to fully think through some of the feelings they respond ardently to because often the fully crystallized idea is one of black women's inferiority but many of us dont acertain this because we are happy to subcribe to 'unsquared' logic, feelings, impressions than really understand the full idea being presented).
I know that many others are involved in pushing black women back in line when they do poke up their heads and want to aim for the front of the queue. From infancy, they find a way to 'quell' any inherent striving for the 'front' that a young black girl may be displaying by making this desire out to be bad even inordinate for a black woman. They may even laugh or mock her or magnify a little set back so she doesnt try again. I have seen even black women who sense that a young black girl is 'reving' her engines come up to her and 'tuck' her back into the ranks. I have seen black women respond to me in this way and 'act out' when I refuse to step back into the black woman's 'formation'.
The saddest thing is that sometimes it is not malicious, this is just bw 'knowing their place.' People even black women have a 'place' they think black women should occupy and black women come along and enforce it and reinforce it in any advice, suggestion, even allocation they give to you as a black woman.
You must recognize that the signifcant portion of black women are acting like robots in terms of their place and position in society and you must understand that unlike them, you have a plan to get to the front, and so you must wisely manouver and trick them till you are there or else they will thwart your plans!
Yes this is not the pretty nice PC talk that refuses to even mention the ugly side of sisterhood. Remeber many are just autopilots in these issues and would even be offended if you pointed out that you are seeing a pattern in how they are reacting to you the black woman and how they are positioning you for less and lack. They would jump up all indignant, and their white liberal freinds would even add their 'how could you accuse them of such a dreadful thing' comments. But you know and you see, therefore dont say much, just put a mental distance if not physical distance between you and them. As Jesus said, 'They know not what they do!'
The unexamined is the enemy of black woman because naturally we are allocated for 'less', therefore anything people just do without thought, any ideas that they think sounds sensible for you, is likely to be aligning itself eith the general notions that permeate society about how black women are due less etc.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding (proverbs 23:23)
I am of the firm belief that this scripture was written especially for black women. Black wonen are surrounded by wrong advice and wrong advsers deliberate and otherwise. They are swimming in a sea of it, mothers, fathers, pastors, counsellors, yes even those who are suppose to be giving the right advice when it comes to black women, something 'kicks in' and the advice changes to one which is meant to secure black women in lack and limitation. There seems to be an inherent need inbuilt into society and all societal agents to steer black women 'wrong'. The fear that black women might just pull away from their subservient role in society and kick off folks riding on her back, is real and deep.
I expect any serious black woman to spend a significant portion of rescources on getting the right advice. i would even go as far as to suggest that black women avoid black information portals (those that position themselves to be speaking from the black perspective not like BWE who are challenging anything up to 90% of what passes for black 'wisdom' ). These black portals want to keep their class of slaving black women and any and everything they say to you will aim to keep you locked in this position.
The black woman serious about her future needs to be a researcher, a woman who never plays with wisdom but would rather skip two meals in a row to buy wisdom! When I see black women quibble over $200 for a book or service that she needs, I know they are not ready for victory. When you need something, you make sacrifices, work the extra hours, etc to get the information that will take you to the next level. You are not going to get to the next level in life holding tightly to money when you need to use it as a tool to get to your future. Invest in your mind, in information, counsellors, trainers, gurus, innovative products and solutions...I dont care if it costs you $1,000! Someone out there has the innovative solution to solve that issue blighting your life. Yes do your research well, but I would happily spend $50 on a product that didnt work on my way to a product that does! Whats 50 bucks to you moving to the next level in life.
And to that commentor that said that $200 match maker service is expensive, way to miss the point. I wonder whether you have made any progress in your search while holding tight to your money. Indeed thats the point, many of you who have a death grip on money are not doing anything towards reaching their goals in other ways!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Improving your fortunes beyond getting what is coming towards you 'naturally' even logically seems to be looked upon as an 'evil art' among bw. Other women however have aggressive plans to put themselves in front or on the map or out ahead. And so while black women wrinkle their noses as they zoom past, these women live the life.
You have to honestly get past the notion that strategically planning and plotting your success course to be ahead of your peers is wrong or evil. I live in a seriosuly class based society here and one of the ways that the class system is kept alive is by imparting a sense of 'wrongness' to the idea of striving and wanting to better oneself and be rich etc. There are all sorts of names used to describe the upper classes like 'toffs' etc, to confer the notion that nobody would want to be 'liek them'. But note that the 'toffs' are living better, healtheir and longer lives. Note that the upper classes already have the structure and norms, money and family arrangements and networks that make 'getting ahead', natural and normal. The working class doesnt and so anyone from the working class who wants to make it needs to be 'purposeful' in their actions and activities towards getting to the top, and it is this purpose that others are trying to stamp down by making it seem immoral to want to be rich etc! Replace I want to be rich with 'I want to live well, live healthier by having access to private health care, personal training, i want to buy my mother a house or give her that hip replacement operation she needs etc' and you might just shake loose that inculcated, 'slimy feeling' to the idea of wealth and riches that is really keeping you from the path to wealth.
Beacuse other women have agressive (and I dont mean they fight but they are dilligent), self elevation plans, they often inspire inventions and innovations to products. They in turn see a product and immediately know how they can 'plug it into' their current plans to give them the acceleration they need in any area.
Weightloss, body toning, dress, style, hair products etc, I am not so sure that black women are often left behind when it comes to innovation, because of racism and lack of numbers. I think as a group it is noted that we often do not respond appropraitely to innovation because, 'what we need that for anyway'. We are not looking to overtake and move out in front so we dont know what to do with some of these 'inventions'. Indeed it is only those who are working some plan that see the reason why they should have a stronger rope, stronger ship, car or what have you.
Many black women have internalized the idea that 'we are to be at the back', not in so many words but as an inchoate notion, like a slight beat they march their lives to (this is one reason why I tell black women to fully think through some of the feelings they respond ardently to because often the fully crystallized idea is one of black women's inferiority but many of us dont acertain this because we are happy to subcribe to 'unsquared' logic, feelings, impressions than really understand the full idea being presented).
I know that many others are involved in pushing black women back in line when they do poke up their heads and want to aim for the front of the queue. From infancy, they find a way to 'quell' any inherent striving for the 'front' that a young black girl may be displaying by making this desire out to be bad even inordinate for a black woman. They may even laugh or mock her or magnify a little set back so she doesnt try again. I have seen even black women who sense that a young black girl is 'reving' her engines come up to her and 'tuck' her back into the ranks. I have seen black women respond to me in this way and 'act out' when I refuse to step back into the black woman's 'formation'.
The saddest thing is that sometimes it is not malicious, this is just bw 'knowing their place.' People even black women have a 'place' they think black women should occupy and black women come along and enforce it and reinforce it in any advice, suggestion, even allocation they give to you as a black woman.
You must recognize that the signifcant portion of black women are acting like robots in terms of their place and position in society and you must understand that unlike them, you have a plan to get to the front, and so you must wisely manouver and trick them till you are there or else they will thwart your plans!
Yes this is not the pretty nice PC talk that refuses to even mention the ugly side of sisterhood. Remeber many are just autopilots in these issues and would even be offended if you pointed out that you are seeing a pattern in how they are reacting to you the black woman and how they are positioning you for less and lack. They would jump up all indignant, and their white liberal freinds would even add their 'how could you accuse them of such a dreadful thing' comments. But you know and you see, therefore dont say much, just put a mental distance if not physical distance between you and them. As Jesus said, 'They know not what they do!'
The unexamined is the enemy of black woman because naturally we are allocated for 'less', therefore anything people just do without thought, any ideas that they think sounds sensible for you, is likely to be aligning itself eith the general notions that permeate society about how black women are due less etc.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding (proverbs 23:23)
I am of the firm belief that this scripture was written especially for black women. Black wonen are surrounded by wrong advice and wrong advsers deliberate and otherwise. They are swimming in a sea of it, mothers, fathers, pastors, counsellors, yes even those who are suppose to be giving the right advice when it comes to black women, something 'kicks in' and the advice changes to one which is meant to secure black women in lack and limitation. There seems to be an inherent need inbuilt into society and all societal agents to steer black women 'wrong'. The fear that black women might just pull away from their subservient role in society and kick off folks riding on her back, is real and deep.
I expect any serious black woman to spend a significant portion of rescources on getting the right advice. i would even go as far as to suggest that black women avoid black information portals (those that position themselves to be speaking from the black perspective not like BWE who are challenging anything up to 90% of what passes for black 'wisdom' ). These black portals want to keep their class of slaving black women and any and everything they say to you will aim to keep you locked in this position.
The black woman serious about her future needs to be a researcher, a woman who never plays with wisdom but would rather skip two meals in a row to buy wisdom! When I see black women quibble over $200 for a book or service that she needs, I know they are not ready for victory. When you need something, you make sacrifices, work the extra hours, etc to get the information that will take you to the next level. You are not going to get to the next level in life holding tightly to money when you need to use it as a tool to get to your future. Invest in your mind, in information, counsellors, trainers, gurus, innovative products and solutions...I dont care if it costs you $1,000! Someone out there has the innovative solution to solve that issue blighting your life. Yes do your research well, but I would happily spend $50 on a product that didnt work on my way to a product that does! Whats 50 bucks to you moving to the next level in life.
And to that commentor that said that $200 match maker service is expensive, way to miss the point. I wonder whether you have made any progress in your search while holding tight to your money. Indeed thats the point, many of you who have a death grip on money are not doing anything towards reaching their goals in other ways!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
When parents set their offspring up for great things
Apparently Kate (in line to be the next Queen of England) has Pig Farmers as forebears
Like Evia always says, the female card is the strongest card in the deck. The fact that this is a mans world means that 'any' woman has the potential to get into a lineage or inheritance, that would be deemed 'out of her league', simply because she is a woman and no one can stop it or do anything about it even if they wanted to!
Folks are setting their children up for great things.
I have among my cuttings an example of a couple who got their unborn daughter a place in a prestigeous school in London. Yes a place was secured before the girl was even born! Thats how serious some people are about their childrens future and indeed their futures. When you ask many bw to 'plan their families' with a little care, they become outraged and insist that it is their right to have offsrping in the most 'insecure' circumstances as they choose. Yep they insist that they have a right to prefer to have families were government intervention is critically needed. Families where they will just 'get by' on a wing and a prayer, where they dont even plan beyond the birth, and from then on simply live for the day!
Yet we live in a time and age where some parents plot the trajectory of their offspring with such precision that they enter such rarefied worlds, and circles from where 'things' are controlled.
Everything about Kate Middleton points to the fact that her parents were preparing her, not for a 'mean marriage', but for a marriage into riches, prestige and status. Everything from her upbringing, choice of schools, decorum etc etc shows that some people are awake not asleep when it comes to positioning their children to move into that 'higher level' of living!
Congrats to Kate and William
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Monday, April 11, 2011
It seems that many black women want to be 'rewarded' with a Husband
A whole host of black women think that they will be 'gifted', rewarded or given husbands due to dilligence, hardwork or 'faithfullness' particulalry in church or around black community.
I know that this has to do with the fact that most bw have a Christian life -approach and how they tend to apply this approach across board which leads to total ineffectual responses to the demands of life.This is about being so willing to be work furiously doing something totally tangent to what you want to achieve because of being so afraid to really confront what it is really that you want and strategize and work on it directly.
We've talked about something similar before and recently Evia saliently highligted the fact that many bw hide out in church to avoid developing the skills and attributes necessary to take on modern life.
In truth many bw are afraid they dont have what it takes to confront life and win. A good number of bw are deathly afraid of the world and you will note the need for hiding behind or away from the wider world sublimated into 'protestations' of being so enamoured by and with everything black or everything christian that they just dont want to be around others (self-segregation) or engage in understanding their wider world. I have said this before that when i see black women reading ardently on trains or buses, 7/10 times it has to do with christianity; it is a bible or a religious pamplet that proposes to teach them '7 prayers for victory' etc!
Am I saying that religion, faith, reading the bible is wrong? Absolutely not however many black women do not have any other frame or lens to view the world or life in general. This is very limiting. Consider that black women are purported to be some of the most 'religious' women around yet what do they have to show for their religious zeal, if not some of the worse social statistics and wealth rates. Something is indeed not adding up!
You will note that many black women would rather be in church all day and everyday spending 7 hours praying or working in church etc than spend two hours a week doing something that directly enables them meet their goal of marriage etc eg a simple online profile. They want a man to be 'given' to them as a reward for service rather than drectly take on the task of doing what will lead to that outcome, and dont forget there are so many preachers and teachers fueling this notion that, 'God will reward such faithfulness' where faithfulness is conviniently defined as toiling in little church XYZ, and giving half of your income to said church. Passgaes in scripture are pointed to as 'proof', that one need only 'pray' like Hanna, or just keep 'working hard in the house of God' (Read pentecostal church XYZ). Indeed many churches are built around capitalizing on black women's fear and lack of courage in facing the world. They manage the risk of living for bw (by allaying her fears, claiming they will provide her the teaching to smoothen the path, and also be a place where bw can run to for support which essentially means prayer) but as with any insurance broker or agency that manages risk on behalf of others, it isnt free. So black women actually expend more time and energy in attending to her needs through the framwork of faith/church than if she boldly went out there and put together her own plan for securing her wants and needs.
I remember a couple of years ago, I was at one of these church conferences that lasts days. As I was exiting the morning session I noted a young lady sweeping and clearing up. When I came back later I saw her still at work. The next day she was there again. I went up to her to commend her for her dedication and I dont know how a couple of other women joined in but I recall one of the women said something like, 'When you are faithful, God gives you what you want in fact sister ABC over there has just gotten married...' I think we all more or less agreed that God rewards those who are faithful however even then I was a bit worried about the whole notion of God sending a man because we were 'faithful' in church. But even then I could see how tempting and ensnaring an idea that could be indeed:
The angle of this 'supernatural reward', is a key reason why many bw continue to remain in churches were, it is physically impossible for even 1/3 to get men because these men are just not there. They are so convinced that it will come about in one of those supernatural, last minute, dont-know-how-it-could-have-but-it-did ways they are constantly regalled with in church! I once heard a Pastor note that one of his best selling series was on 'supernatural transference of wealth from the world into the hands of Christians'. No suprises there!
A similar situation happens with many black women who matyr themselves for race or undertake needless hardships 'for their people', and how they often announce these in gatherings as if to say, 'well I bankrupted myself or let myself be used etc so come on, where is my reward'!
No one is going to reward you for living a shortchanged life even if you think this was your 'swing' for your race. I am well aware that many times bw are asked to pitch in especially into some black man's scheme,with a 'vague' promise of a coming reward for black women if they continue to believe and persevere and dont give up on black men, black people etc. Once again we see how the faith/christian frame is applied inappropraitely, indeed having faith in 'my people' or 'believing a black man is promised you' is not biblically premised although looking at many black women you could get the impression it is. Many hold it in their hearts as if it is written somewhere in the new testament!
If you apply 'faith' in this way under some pseudo-christian sentiment you cannot hold anyone else or God responsible if you never achieve what you are holding out for; things God never promised.
The black woman will not be 'lifted up' or decorated with medals for living out a self-negating and life limiting existence on behalf of race. On that you can be sure!
As a black women there is no opting out of doing what you need to do to get ahead in life. You must be effective and develop effective protocols and you must set about it now!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
I know that this has to do with the fact that most bw have a Christian life -approach and how they tend to apply this approach across board which leads to total ineffectual responses to the demands of life.This is about being so willing to be work furiously doing something totally tangent to what you want to achieve because of being so afraid to really confront what it is really that you want and strategize and work on it directly.
We've talked about something similar before and recently Evia saliently highligted the fact that many bw hide out in church to avoid developing the skills and attributes necessary to take on modern life.
In truth many bw are afraid they dont have what it takes to confront life and win. A good number of bw are deathly afraid of the world and you will note the need for hiding behind or away from the wider world sublimated into 'protestations' of being so enamoured by and with everything black or everything christian that they just dont want to be around others (self-segregation) or engage in understanding their wider world. I have said this before that when i see black women reading ardently on trains or buses, 7/10 times it has to do with christianity; it is a bible or a religious pamplet that proposes to teach them '7 prayers for victory' etc!
Am I saying that religion, faith, reading the bible is wrong? Absolutely not however many black women do not have any other frame or lens to view the world or life in general. This is very limiting. Consider that black women are purported to be some of the most 'religious' women around yet what do they have to show for their religious zeal, if not some of the worse social statistics and wealth rates. Something is indeed not adding up!
You will note that many black women would rather be in church all day and everyday spending 7 hours praying or working in church etc than spend two hours a week doing something that directly enables them meet their goal of marriage etc eg a simple online profile. They want a man to be 'given' to them as a reward for service rather than drectly take on the task of doing what will lead to that outcome, and dont forget there are so many preachers and teachers fueling this notion that, 'God will reward such faithfulness' where faithfulness is conviniently defined as toiling in little church XYZ, and giving half of your income to said church. Passgaes in scripture are pointed to as 'proof', that one need only 'pray' like Hanna, or just keep 'working hard in the house of God' (Read pentecostal church XYZ). Indeed many churches are built around capitalizing on black women's fear and lack of courage in facing the world. They manage the risk of living for bw (by allaying her fears, claiming they will provide her the teaching to smoothen the path, and also be a place where bw can run to for support which essentially means prayer) but as with any insurance broker or agency that manages risk on behalf of others, it isnt free. So black women actually expend more time and energy in attending to her needs through the framwork of faith/church than if she boldly went out there and put together her own plan for securing her wants and needs.
I remember a couple of years ago, I was at one of these church conferences that lasts days. As I was exiting the morning session I noted a young lady sweeping and clearing up. When I came back later I saw her still at work. The next day she was there again. I went up to her to commend her for her dedication and I dont know how a couple of other women joined in but I recall one of the women said something like, 'When you are faithful, God gives you what you want in fact sister ABC over there has just gotten married...' I think we all more or less agreed that God rewards those who are faithful however even then I was a bit worried about the whole notion of God sending a man because we were 'faithful' in church. But even then I could see how tempting and ensnaring an idea that could be indeed:
- Rather than take the time to put myself together I can simply pray loads and God will send it as a gift.
- Rather than get my self presentation right, I can attend church group meetings, clean the toilets at church (all the while talking about how God looks at the heart and a righteous brother will always be looking at the heart and for a prayer warrior anyway!) and God will see my hearts desires and grant it.
The angle of this 'supernatural reward', is a key reason why many bw continue to remain in churches were, it is physically impossible for even 1/3 to get men because these men are just not there. They are so convinced that it will come about in one of those supernatural, last minute, dont-know-how-it-could-have-but-it-did ways they are constantly regalled with in church! I once heard a Pastor note that one of his best selling series was on 'supernatural transference of wealth from the world into the hands of Christians'. No suprises there!
A similar situation happens with many black women who matyr themselves for race or undertake needless hardships 'for their people', and how they often announce these in gatherings as if to say, 'well I bankrupted myself or let myself be used etc so come on, where is my reward'!
No one is going to reward you for living a shortchanged life even if you think this was your 'swing' for your race. I am well aware that many times bw are asked to pitch in especially into some black man's scheme,with a 'vague' promise of a coming reward for black women if they continue to believe and persevere and dont give up on black men, black people etc. Once again we see how the faith/christian frame is applied inappropraitely, indeed having faith in 'my people' or 'believing a black man is promised you' is not biblically premised although looking at many black women you could get the impression it is. Many hold it in their hearts as if it is written somewhere in the new testament!
If you apply 'faith' in this way under some pseudo-christian sentiment you cannot hold anyone else or God responsible if you never achieve what you are holding out for; things God never promised.
The black woman will not be 'lifted up' or decorated with medals for living out a self-negating and life limiting existence on behalf of race. On that you can be sure!
As a black women there is no opting out of doing what you need to do to get ahead in life. You must be effective and develop effective protocols and you must set about it now!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Q: Halima how do I get going on this interracial dating thing?
Hi Halima, I really want to get serious about getting 'hitched,' soon. I want to start prospecting my interracial opportunities, and this might sound strange and naive for a 35 year old but, how do I get started?
Self Search approach (going out, networking)
Accelerated Self Search (eg online ads that work for you even while you sleep and drives more 'tracffic' than you could ever achieve on a one-to-one personal self search approach, I add speed dating because of the volume of prospective partners you make contact with )
Advanced professional search through agencies eg matchmakers
If you are a black woman over a certain age and you know for yourself that time is against you (every one has to decided what their time scales are for themselves but you have to be really honest with yourself here), then I suggest you shell out money for a matchmaker, and then add accelerated self search and self search to the mix.
But Halima, 'I dont have the money,' I hear you say.
You are actually paying for 'time' with a matchmaker service because it could take you in excess of 2 years to move from a relationship to a marriage. How much is that time worth to you? Would it really make a difference to you if you were married in six months, or a years time. For some women 6 months difference is critical? Are you this woman. Indeed take out the old calculator and calculate how much 'months' are worth in terms of dating and marriage, you might just find that the matchmaker fees are no longer a big deal, in fact it is good value!
The self search approach is very linear ie you meet one guy, you date, four months later it's off, you get back in the game maybe a month later, you date three months, its serious, you talk marriage, 6 months later you are married when you can get all the family to be there (you know this is just all too ideal isnt it yet this little scenerio here has cost you 1 year and 2 months). How much is it worth in monetary terms if you could possibly (I say possibly) slash the time to half that?
The matchmaker essentially saves you anything up to one and half years by matching you with men who 1)Have already clarified their desires around marriage etc (ie she/he will match you with only those who desire marriage if thats what you require) 2) Are likely working to a similar time table as you. With the self search approach, it is usual for the 'desires' around marriage to emerge as the relationship progresses and while its all well and good for things to develop 'organically' sometimes that would mean taking forever. The matchmaker works backwards from this approach.
The matchmaker also matches you with the qualities you prefer or desire which you could search years to get a good mix on.
A 20 year old I would suggest should focus on the self-search and maybe an accelerated self-search because time might not be as much as an issue and they need to grow and develope in their understanding of what they want from men (which dating teaches). With the older woman it is not much about 'learning' as it is about now finding.
Before anyone rushes off to sign up to any ol match maker I want to make it plain now that very few matchmakers out there are set up to do an adequate 'service' to black women. Its a sad fact but true (If you have any information of good matchmaker services please do drop a comment or email me so I can share these). Many just have men on their books, men who may say they are 'open' but are not aware they are really not (this is true and it happens quite a lot). So there could be a number of false starts. To be of clear use to a black woman client, they would usually have to administer a specific questionaire to find out details for starters around race and racial attitudes etc that would be meaningful around interracial dating at least to black women.
I hope this posts higlights the key message that I want to bring to black women out there, that, many of you are doing absolutely nothing significant towards your goal of marriage and family and this is another year on from the date you said you were going to be really serious about this stuff!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Self Search approach (going out, networking)
Accelerated Self Search (eg online ads that work for you even while you sleep and drives more 'tracffic' than you could ever achieve on a one-to-one personal self search approach, I add speed dating because of the volume of prospective partners you make contact with )
Advanced professional search through agencies eg matchmakers
If you are a black woman over a certain age and you know for yourself that time is against you (every one has to decided what their time scales are for themselves but you have to be really honest with yourself here), then I suggest you shell out money for a matchmaker, and then add accelerated self search and self search to the mix.
But Halima, 'I dont have the money,' I hear you say.
You are actually paying for 'time' with a matchmaker service because it could take you in excess of 2 years to move from a relationship to a marriage. How much is that time worth to you? Would it really make a difference to you if you were married in six months, or a years time. For some women 6 months difference is critical? Are you this woman. Indeed take out the old calculator and calculate how much 'months' are worth in terms of dating and marriage, you might just find that the matchmaker fees are no longer a big deal, in fact it is good value!
The self search approach is very linear ie you meet one guy, you date, four months later it's off, you get back in the game maybe a month later, you date three months, its serious, you talk marriage, 6 months later you are married when you can get all the family to be there (you know this is just all too ideal isnt it yet this little scenerio here has cost you 1 year and 2 months). How much is it worth in monetary terms if you could possibly (I say possibly) slash the time to half that?
The matchmaker essentially saves you anything up to one and half years by matching you with men who 1)Have already clarified their desires around marriage etc (ie she/he will match you with only those who desire marriage if thats what you require) 2) Are likely working to a similar time table as you. With the self search approach, it is usual for the 'desires' around marriage to emerge as the relationship progresses and while its all well and good for things to develop 'organically' sometimes that would mean taking forever. The matchmaker works backwards from this approach.
The matchmaker also matches you with the qualities you prefer or desire which you could search years to get a good mix on.
A 20 year old I would suggest should focus on the self-search and maybe an accelerated self-search because time might not be as much as an issue and they need to grow and develope in their understanding of what they want from men (which dating teaches). With the older woman it is not much about 'learning' as it is about now finding.
Before anyone rushes off to sign up to any ol match maker I want to make it plain now that very few matchmakers out there are set up to do an adequate 'service' to black women. Its a sad fact but true (If you have any information of good matchmaker services please do drop a comment or email me so I can share these). Many just have men on their books, men who may say they are 'open' but are not aware they are really not (this is true and it happens quite a lot). So there could be a number of false starts. To be of clear use to a black woman client, they would usually have to administer a specific questionaire to find out details for starters around race and racial attitudes etc that would be meaningful around interracial dating at least to black women.
I hope this posts higlights the key message that I want to bring to black women out there, that, many of you are doing absolutely nothing significant towards your goal of marriage and family and this is another year on from the date you said you were going to be really serious about this stuff!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
Monday, March 28, 2011
The deliberate lowering of the Intellect and why black people practice this art
Lets just face it, with black folks, you are dealing with people who don’t want to elevate their thinking, their discourse, and this is so that they can remain at a place where all sorts of evil, strange outdated thinking etc remain plausible and allowed/excused.
We see it clearly in the recent rape case of an 11 yr old. I was on a website recently where a good segment of the black folks were arguing ‘she didn’t report the incident so it wasn’t rape’. To say that I was alarmed was an understatement (these were both male and female mind you).
You can almost see that these folks ’thinking’ had docked somewhere in the 1950’s, an age were the social norms on rape suited them just fine. Imagine living or working around such folks who refuse to come into progressive thinking, imagine what kinds of danger these ones pose to you in so many areas where their thinking is backwards.
Indeed, even when folks tried explaining, that ‘an 11 year old cannot consent to sexual activity‘, these same folks didn’t ‘come up to speed’, instead they continued to try to anchor themselves in their preferred state of mind over this issue, so they came up with arguments like, ’she did X and Y so she wanted it etc etc’, ‘where was the mother‘ (as if lack of parental supervision means black men have a right to ‘go for it‘).
The concept of ‘a minor cannot consent’ just couldn’t ‘stick’ as if it was some ‘rocket science‘ concept being explained to them.
And you know it was all too clear it was ’deliberate,’ this inability to process simple concepts that the rest of society is able to comprehend no problem.
The other scary thing here, was that the notion that children should be protected not seen as prey even when they do ’childish’ things (which is what children do) or escape parental supervision etc etc was so alien to the folks arguing about the guilt of an 11 year old that it was just so unbelievable! In my mind and as I have written, this was another clear sign that the black group is on its way out; the fact that there is no ’protectiveness’ towards the young particularly young black girls who carry the next generation. Even animals protect their young by instinct because how else would they continue to exist but even this most fundamental understanding escapes a good portion of black folk.
Reprobate minds.
You could imagine were the world would be in its ‘thinking’ if the notions circulating within black communities were to be the ideas governing general society. Lord have merci!
Do you see how behind many black people insist on being in their thinking, so they can continue to operate in ‘era’ where certain actions, lack of accountability were permitted them. Indeed, the world has moved on from ‘she asked for it’, we now have the concept of ‘grooming’, a concept that many black males and people insist on not recognizing so they can continue their evil predilections towards minors and claim ‘she asked for it’.
This is why I urge black women to flee black gatherings especially those the propose to ‘discuss’ black issues. There is a peculiar ’reasoning’ that circulates among black folks, which is seen as rational among them, but ‘mainstream’ looks at black folks and they think WTF!
This is why if I need to be among black folks, I have my mental ‘tin foil hat’ because I just know I am going to come across some deep mind bending nonsense that black folks will just start co-signing and agreeing with, and I will think I am in some parallel planet! The longer you stay in such environments among such warped reasoning the more trained in its practice you become, very soon your thinking patterns begin to bend into those ways of thinking until your emotions will begin to ‘accept’ as plausible all sorts of back to front notions that are endorsed by black people. This is one reason why bw have trouble even thinking in a straight forward way about their life and issues and how they can get the best out of life. They have spent far too long with ‘warped thinking’ environments that they have become ‘trained’ in the protocols and how to think in convoluted fashions in fact they become warped thinkers per excellence.
Escape to mainstream circles because much more rationality prevails in those spaces.
One of the negative things that happened when black people closed ranks to offer protection to themselves was that they created an outer shield/barrier to modernising forces that have over time arisen to operate in wider society. So when wider society ’moved on’ towards more progressive ideals and ideas, black spaces remain in older thinking regimes; thinking that allows black men free reign over their environments all justified under the notion of ’preserving’ black.
No wonder when I read black newspapers my mentality takes a dive but reading even mainstream right leaning papers, and my brain activity picks up because aside from the ‘right leaning’ which can be identified and filtered, they still have a duty to a level of commonsense and sensibleness that I find very few black papers and opinion columns feel they need to have ‘because it is a black thing‘.
Coming into 'modern' and 'forward' thinking means moving beyond animal instincts and animalistic lusts, it means being accountable, it means moving beyond yourself to care about fellow humans and it means ‘carrying your own weight,‘ and that’s what many black males are resisting when they insist they don’t understand about things like ‘minors cannot consent to sexual relations’ or ‘you have a responsibility for birth control as much as the woman‘ etc etc.
I remember a radio discussion the other day by one of the BWE bloggers, and do you know for the one and half hour program, each black man that came on was on a level of ‘Yo wassup' 'You say black man this and that.’ They pitched so low you could have been on another topic entirely. They refused to come up to the level of the discourse at all, and it is all deliberate as I say, because not coming up means preventing the discussion from building up to a meaningful discussion that can usher change 'So yes lets keep it a joke or a level of 5 year olds.' Ever wondered why comedians are the first choice when black people bring a panel together to discuss important and critical topics especially about the situation of bw? Well its not to inject humour its to keep things at a non serious level, to use joked and humour to keep it at a 'non transformatory' pitch, the intent is 'lets just chat and do like we are having serious actionable discussions but we expect you to go back to your posts after this light interlude'.
Listen to any blog talk etc and it is almost standard that bm come in at such a low level, that you can feel and hear people lowering their own thinking just to accommodate for it, and by so doing, the conversation remains at a 'non ignition' level and doesn’t soar to the heights it needs and really touch on the key points and be mind-changing and galvanizing as it should. I have also noticed that because bm come in at such a low pitch, any black man who mkes even 'half sense' gets a lot of ‘stars’ from the women. I mean he can pith low too but just a bit higher than the rest and bw are almost all dancing in the streets for the sense in a brothers words, I mean since sense in bm is rare and all that.
Selfish focus and exclusion from world decisions
There is a reason why the world's most important decisions are not in the hands of black contries, why we are not participating in global discussions around preserving humanity and preserving resources for the next generation (Obama as a black figure head does not count). When a people are so focused on their own ‘bellies‘, when people are seen to be so myopic and short term thinkers who refuse to think even one generation up, and would consume the worlds recourses in one season if left to them, then of course they will be deemed too dangerous to be allowed anywhere near major world decisions.
They are seen as nothing but infants to be chaperoned and controlled least they destroy important things. They are children who are relegated to the sidelines in such important world issues. When western folks are talking about green issues, saving planets and African countries leaders cannot think even beyond buying their latest Jets to ferry their bevy of girlfriends around.
I was at a maternal death conference the other day and there was this global 'map' on maternal deaths as well as who was giving what, and just as expected the places with highest maternal deaths gave the least amount (proportionally) to programs designed to prevent the occurence of maternal deaths in their own countries!
As can well be guessed, most maternal deaths were in third world countries, yet places like Norway which has very low maternal deaths were giving huge amounts to these intiatitives and pledging other support and lobbying world governments!
I realized then why all the intitiatives would be unsuccessful in addressing maternal deaths in these countries and we would still be in the same place, in twenty years tim, talking about the next 'strategy'; it is because the folk who should care more, because they are being disasterously impcated are not even prioritizing solving the situation. They are the ones loosing their young populations through maternal deaths yet others were coming in to tell them why it is important to do something about it!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
We see it clearly in the recent rape case of an 11 yr old. I was on a website recently where a good segment of the black folks were arguing ‘she didn’t report the incident so it wasn’t rape’. To say that I was alarmed was an understatement (these were both male and female mind you).
You can almost see that these folks ’thinking’ had docked somewhere in the 1950’s, an age were the social norms on rape suited them just fine. Imagine living or working around such folks who refuse to come into progressive thinking, imagine what kinds of danger these ones pose to you in so many areas where their thinking is backwards.
Indeed, even when folks tried explaining, that ‘an 11 year old cannot consent to sexual activity‘, these same folks didn’t ‘come up to speed’, instead they continued to try to anchor themselves in their preferred state of mind over this issue, so they came up with arguments like, ’she did X and Y so she wanted it etc etc’, ‘where was the mother‘ (as if lack of parental supervision means black men have a right to ‘go for it‘).
The concept of ‘a minor cannot consent’ just couldn’t ‘stick’ as if it was some ‘rocket science‘ concept being explained to them.
And you know it was all too clear it was ’deliberate,’ this inability to process simple concepts that the rest of society is able to comprehend no problem.
The other scary thing here, was that the notion that children should be protected not seen as prey even when they do ’childish’ things (which is what children do) or escape parental supervision etc etc was so alien to the folks arguing about the guilt of an 11 year old that it was just so unbelievable! In my mind and as I have written, this was another clear sign that the black group is on its way out; the fact that there is no ’protectiveness’ towards the young particularly young black girls who carry the next generation. Even animals protect their young by instinct because how else would they continue to exist but even this most fundamental understanding escapes a good portion of black folk.
Reprobate minds.
You could imagine were the world would be in its ‘thinking’ if the notions circulating within black communities were to be the ideas governing general society. Lord have merci!
Do you see how behind many black people insist on being in their thinking, so they can continue to operate in ‘era’ where certain actions, lack of accountability were permitted them. Indeed, the world has moved on from ‘she asked for it’, we now have the concept of ‘grooming’, a concept that many black males and people insist on not recognizing so they can continue their evil predilections towards minors and claim ‘she asked for it’.
This is why I urge black women to flee black gatherings especially those the propose to ‘discuss’ black issues. There is a peculiar ’reasoning’ that circulates among black folks, which is seen as rational among them, but ‘mainstream’ looks at black folks and they think WTF!
This is why if I need to be among black folks, I have my mental ‘tin foil hat’ because I just know I am going to come across some deep mind bending nonsense that black folks will just start co-signing and agreeing with, and I will think I am in some parallel planet! The longer you stay in such environments among such warped reasoning the more trained in its practice you become, very soon your thinking patterns begin to bend into those ways of thinking until your emotions will begin to ‘accept’ as plausible all sorts of back to front notions that are endorsed by black people. This is one reason why bw have trouble even thinking in a straight forward way about their life and issues and how they can get the best out of life. They have spent far too long with ‘warped thinking’ environments that they have become ‘trained’ in the protocols and how to think in convoluted fashions in fact they become warped thinkers per excellence.
Escape to mainstream circles because much more rationality prevails in those spaces.
One of the negative things that happened when black people closed ranks to offer protection to themselves was that they created an outer shield/barrier to modernising forces that have over time arisen to operate in wider society. So when wider society ’moved on’ towards more progressive ideals and ideas, black spaces remain in older thinking regimes; thinking that allows black men free reign over their environments all justified under the notion of ’preserving’ black.
No wonder when I read black newspapers my mentality takes a dive but reading even mainstream right leaning papers, and my brain activity picks up because aside from the ‘right leaning’ which can be identified and filtered, they still have a duty to a level of commonsense and sensibleness that I find very few black papers and opinion columns feel they need to have ‘because it is a black thing‘.
Coming into 'modern' and 'forward' thinking means moving beyond animal instincts and animalistic lusts, it means being accountable, it means moving beyond yourself to care about fellow humans and it means ‘carrying your own weight,‘ and that’s what many black males are resisting when they insist they don’t understand about things like ‘minors cannot consent to sexual relations’ or ‘you have a responsibility for birth control as much as the woman‘ etc etc.
I remember a radio discussion the other day by one of the BWE bloggers, and do you know for the one and half hour program, each black man that came on was on a level of ‘Yo wassup' 'You say black man this and that.’ They pitched so low you could have been on another topic entirely. They refused to come up to the level of the discourse at all, and it is all deliberate as I say, because not coming up means preventing the discussion from building up to a meaningful discussion that can usher change 'So yes lets keep it a joke or a level of 5 year olds.' Ever wondered why comedians are the first choice when black people bring a panel together to discuss important and critical topics especially about the situation of bw? Well its not to inject humour its to keep things at a non serious level, to use joked and humour to keep it at a 'non transformatory' pitch, the intent is 'lets just chat and do like we are having serious actionable discussions but we expect you to go back to your posts after this light interlude'.
Listen to any blog talk etc and it is almost standard that bm come in at such a low level, that you can feel and hear people lowering their own thinking just to accommodate for it, and by so doing, the conversation remains at a 'non ignition' level and doesn’t soar to the heights it needs and really touch on the key points and be mind-changing and galvanizing as it should. I have also noticed that because bm come in at such a low pitch, any black man who mkes even 'half sense' gets a lot of ‘stars’ from the women. I mean he can pith low too but just a bit higher than the rest and bw are almost all dancing in the streets for the sense in a brothers words, I mean since sense in bm is rare and all that.
Selfish focus and exclusion from world decisions
There is a reason why the world's most important decisions are not in the hands of black contries, why we are not participating in global discussions around preserving humanity and preserving resources for the next generation (Obama as a black figure head does not count). When a people are so focused on their own ‘bellies‘, when people are seen to be so myopic and short term thinkers who refuse to think even one generation up, and would consume the worlds recourses in one season if left to them, then of course they will be deemed too dangerous to be allowed anywhere near major world decisions.
They are seen as nothing but infants to be chaperoned and controlled least they destroy important things. They are children who are relegated to the sidelines in such important world issues. When western folks are talking about green issues, saving planets and African countries leaders cannot think even beyond buying their latest Jets to ferry their bevy of girlfriends around.
I was at a maternal death conference the other day and there was this global 'map' on maternal deaths as well as who was giving what, and just as expected the places with highest maternal deaths gave the least amount (proportionally) to programs designed to prevent the occurence of maternal deaths in their own countries!
As can well be guessed, most maternal deaths were in third world countries, yet places like Norway which has very low maternal deaths were giving huge amounts to these intiatitives and pledging other support and lobbying world governments!
I realized then why all the intitiatives would be unsuccessful in addressing maternal deaths in these countries and we would still be in the same place, in twenty years tim, talking about the next 'strategy'; it is because the folk who should care more, because they are being disasterously impcated are not even prioritizing solving the situation. They are the ones loosing their young populations through maternal deaths yet others were coming in to tell them why it is important to do something about it!
Wondering about Interracial dating?
I have written an E-book that gives a comprehensive insight into the relationship reality facing black women today, including her Interracial Dating Option. Get yourself clued up!
Questions to be sent to: relationshipadvice@dateawhiteguybook.com
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